Page 58 of After Anna

“Dr. Alderman, after five minutes into that conversation, you weren’t doing any chest compressions for Anna, were you?”

“No.”

“Yet you were continuing the conversation with your lawyer about yourself, were you not?”

“Yes.”

“Dr. Alderman, although the 911 dispatcher had offered to stay on the phone with you until the police arrived, you in fact stayed on the phone with your lawyer until the police arrived, isn’t that correct?”

“Yes.” Noah heard the jury shifting in their seats.

“You didn’t call your wife after you hung up with 911, did you?”

“No.”

Linda frowned, telegraphing disapproval. “So you did not call your own wife, the mother of this child, to tell her that you had found her only daughter dead on your porch?”

“No.”

“Isn’t it true that you didn’t call her because you couldn’t face her?”

“No.” Noah felt the pressure to answer building inside him. Maggie would want the answer.

“Dr. Alderman, isn’t it true that you didn’t call her because you knew that your wife, the woman who knows you best, would know that you had killed her daughter?”

“No, I didn’t call her because I knew she wouldn’t answer. She wasn’t taking my calls.”

“But you called her from the car after you left the gym, did you not?”

“Oh. Yes, I did.” Noah had forgotten he did that. It was a habit. Maggie always left work before he did. He always called her on the way home. It had been when he missed Maggie the most, the in-between times, the interstices of his life that she filled in, connectingeverything. He had never known that until he’d lost her. And then it was too late.

“So you called her after the gym, knowing that she wouldn’t take the call, yet later, holding her precious daughter dead in your arms, you didn’t call her?”

Noah didn’t know what to say. He knew Maggie would be listening to every word. He couldn’t see her face. He knew what it would look like. Devastated.

“Dr. Alderman?”

“I forget the question,” Noah blurted out, and there was shifting in the jury box behind him, but he didn’t dare look over. He knew what their expressions would look like too. Distant. Incredulous. Furious.

“Isn’t it true that you didn’t call your wife because you wanted to call your criminal lawyer?”

“No.”

“But as you testified, you were worried that you were going to be suspected of Anna’s murder, weren’t you?”

“Okay, yes, I was.” Noah was confusing himself, his mind on Maggie. The gallery. The jury. The judge.

“Dr. Alderman, isn’t it true that when the police came, you declined to answer any questions?”

Thomas rose. “Objection, Your Honor. The jury is not permitted to draw any adverse inference regarding Dr. Alderman’s exercise of his constitutional rights.”

Judge Gardner nodded. “Sustained.”

Thomas rose. “Your Honor, this cross-examination has gone on quite some time. May I request a brief break, Your Honor?”

Linda frowned. “Your Honor, I don’t think that’s necessary.”

“I do, Ms. Swain-Pettit.” Judge Gardner reached for the gavel. “We’ll recess for fifteen minutes, ladies and gentlemen.”