Page 5 of After All This Time (A Time For Love #2)

Liam

T he rest of the afternoon passes with furious clicking on our controllers and screaming at our respective players.

The fighters Coop and I have chosen for this game are beating the shit out of each other, which is a great way to shut down my thoughts.

Otherwise, they’ll still wander to the way his scruff cheek felt on my shoulder, or the way his eyes seemed to swallow me whole in their blue depths.

I swallow harshly.

He doesn’t know what he’s doing. He has no idea how everything he does affects me on a visceral level.

And the fact that he craves touch like it’s his drug makes it so hard not to put my arms around him all the damn time.

Until he’s calm and settled against me. Until his steady breathing and strong heartbeat is all I can feel.

And now this trip.

Of course I want to spend time with him. I want to spend all my time with him, which is exactly why this is a very bad idea.

But when he turns that seemingly innocent look on me, I want to give him everything he asks for.

I groan out loud, which attracts Cooper’s attention.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” I answer quickly, trying to scramble my brains for something to say. “I was just thinking that we totally forgot about Nate. Shouldn’t we invite him to come along too?”

It’s bullshit of course for so many reasons and Coop immediately frowns.

“Um, Nate won’t be able to make it, Li, remember? He’s leaving earlier to get everything settled with his scholarship.”

Yeah, I knew that but it was the only thing I could think of.

“Oh, right.” I can still feel Cooper’s confused gaze on me, so a change in subject is in order.

“You never told me what happened with the Katie thing.” I wince internally even as I say it. Talking about his girlfriend is extremely low on my list of conversation topics but that’s what a good friend would do.

“Oh. I – uh… confronted her. Straight up came out and asked her why she was avoiding me and all that.” He pauses, which prompts me to pause the game as well and turn to look at him.

He’s tense, his fingers fidgeting with the controller, his eyes downcast.

His reaction instantly puts me on edge.

“What happened, Coop?” I ask him softly.

I watch as his throat visibly bobs and he swallows.

“It’s nothing,” he mutters, letting out a weak laugh, devoid of any humor. “She apologized and said she didn’t want to hurt me by spoiling my summer. She wanted to keep our relationship going for as long as we were both still here until it was time to leave.”

His voice kind of fades as he finishes his sentence.

“I mean, I know long-distance relationships are a bitch, but she could have at least discussed it with me, you know? It would have been nice being in the loop instead of feeling a bit strung along to be honest.” He shrugs. “Anyway, we ended it.”

He shrugs it off like it’s nothing but I can see that the tension hasn’t left him.

And my blood boils seeing him like this.

He should always be happy and goofy, without a care in the world, and watching the uncertainty taint his usually carefree expression makes it impossible not to reach for him.

I drop the controller on the bed next to me and before I know it, my arms are wrapping around him, pulling him in. He doesn’t even startle. He’s already halfway there, burrowing inside, his hands holding the back of my T-shirt tightly.

He smells of fresh laundry with a hint of lemon, and it’s the biggest struggle not to bury my nose in his inky hair just inches from my face. Instead, I hold him for as long as he needs, letting him take the comfort he craves.

It’s a few minutes before he seems to relax. I release him reluctantly and he shuffles back to his side, but not before I notice a faint blush on his cheeks. He’s probably embarrassed but that blush makes him look softer, and the vulnerability he exudes is like my personal brand of weakness.

“Look at it this way,” I blurt out, praying it will distract both of us, “less worry to reach out when we’re out in the wilderness with questionable signal.”

My exaggeration has the desired effect because he grins at me brightly, his temporary listlessness gone.

“So, when are we leaving?”

***

A few days later, we are hitting the road, my dad’s car packed with the essentials.

My dad happily let us use his car when I told him about our plans, thinking that it would be more difficult for Coop’s family to spare theirs even for a few days.

We plan everything out, agreeing to take turns driving. It’s me behind the wheel now, while Coop lounges on the passenger seat.

The window is down, the warm air sweeping in to wreak havoc on his hair, lifting and tossing his black strands.

Not that he minds of course, he has been grinning for the past hour like a lunatic, and I’m sure his eyes would be gleaming with glee if they were visible behind his dark sunglasses.

The gusts of air carry in the scents of roadside flowers and hot asphalt, while the sun barely kisses our skin.

Cooper starts fiddling with the radio, and the hum of the engine is soon accompanied by the clanky shift of the old radio dial, before the twang of a country song finally reaches our ears.

I raise an eyebrow. “Care to explain this?”

“What?”

“I could swear we organized a trip around Oregon. Unless we’re road-tripping the South and I missed the memo.”

“Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.”

“You use sarcasm all the time.”

“That’s beside the point.”

“And what exactly is the point, Coop?”

“The point is that I always imagined taking a road trip with country music on. Can’t you just let me have my fun? Why are you raining on my parade?”

I chuckle at the sound of his indignation.

Without taking my eyes off the road, I reach out and wrap my hand around his nape, lightly squeezing it.

“You can have any fun you want as long as you don’t mind me changing it when it’s my turn.” Spoiler alert. I’ll probably still let him have his music when it’s my turn to choose.

His head lolls back on the headrest and Coop sighs in my hold.

That sigh is going to be the death of me. I know I should release him but I’m powerless not to knead the muscle there the way he likes it for a little while longer, before both my hands are inevitably needed on the wheel.

The weather is nice and warm without being hot. We rarely get extreme temperatures here so we’re used to this being our summer weather.

The music croons as I drive and a quick glance at Coop an hour later shows me that he’s dozed off, his head rocking with the movement of the car.

I stifle a chuckle. We set off early in the morning, which meant that it was too early for him, which subsequently meant that he immediately started feeling sleepy once the adrenaline of the excitement wore off.

We still have at least one more hour to go till we reach our destination and my mind circles back to the reason behind this trip—our last summer together before we go our separate ways for a while.

I would be lying if I said that I haven’t thought about that constantly. I imagine what it’s going to be like not to spend almost all of my time with Nate and Cooper and my mind goes blank.

Nate, I can deal with.

But Coop. That’s completely uncharted territory.

There are days when I think that this is exactly what I need. Some time away, a lot of distance, and maybe my feelings will have the chance to cool down and eventually peter off.

And maybe I can one day look at him and not feel like I’m burning.

But then, there are other days when I think that being so far away from him, not being able to watch him laugh in his own unrestrained way, or look into his piercing blue eyes whenever I want, will feel like pure agony.

Cooper stirs next to me, pulling me out of my somber thoughts.

He takes off his sunglasses to rub the sleep off his eyes, and with the corner of my eye, I see that he blinks, first at me, and then at the time on the display.

“Shit! Why didn’t you wake me up to switch with you?”

“It’s fine, Coop. I’m not tired. Plus, you needed your beauty sleep.”

A side glance is enough for me to see the mega-watt smirk he aims my way.

“Well, well, well, it’s nice to see you finally admit that I’m prettier than you.”

Definitely not a conversation I want to have with both of us in an enclosed space and him inches away from me.

I shift in my seat. “Sure, buddy, whatever helps you sleep at night.”

He gasps dramatically. “Are you saying I’m not pretty? Because I’ll have you know, chicks really dig this whole black hair / blue eyes combo.”

Not just chicks, unfortunately , I think as my fists tighten imperceptibly on the wheel.

“Then it’s a good thing college is just around the corner. Lots of opportunities,” I force myself to say, even though the words taste like bile in my mouth.

He’s silent for a few seconds before he mutters, “Yeah, I guess so.”

The slightly dejected tone makes me steal a peek at him, but he looks fine so maybe I imagined it.

Soon, the view around us becomes impossible to ignore, no matter what thoughts run around my head.

We are surrounded by endless, lush green. The thick trees drown out all sound until only the low thrum of our car engine and the wind that whistles through branches and leaves can be heard. The faint buzzing of the cicadas slowly slips through our open windows.

The map tells us that the campground should be very close, and true to our calculations, the street opens up to a clearing with several helpful signs that point us to the area we need to approach.

The ocean is visible from here and the crashing of the waves on the sandy shores joins the rustling of the trees.

We’ve already called and booked our spot in one of the tent site areas, choosing one available that was closer to the beach.

We make sure that everything is in order before driving over to our allocated spot. Coop is the first to make an unintelligible noise at the scenery that spreads in front of us.

I turn the car off, lock it, and hastily follow Coop, who’s already jumping out, his expression dreamlike as he walks several steps towards the ocean and stops.

I come to a stop next to him and take in everything that surrounds us.

For such a big park and campsite, it almost feels secluded here.

The trees are at our back and the sea extends in front of us as far as the eye can see.

I notice other campers further away from us going through their day.

The smell of brine mixes with the notes of pine and cypress of the Sitka spruce trees around us.

I take a deep breath trying to hold it into my lungs for as long as possible.

I turn to say something to Coop but he’s already looking at me.

His eyes are shining in the late morning light.

But I know it’s not just from that.

He is genuinely happy and his joy is almost physically radiating from his pores.

I can’t tear my eyes off him.

“It’s perfect,” he whispers.

And it is.

It just pales compared to him.