Page 15 of After All This Time (A Time For Love #2)

Cooper

T oday seems like a very good day to question all my life’s choices.

Liam is going to be here any minute after texting me that he was on his way over.

I suggested Saturday as the official ‘moving-in’ day in case he needed help lugging up his things.

So here I am now, banging my head against the window sill of my apartment on the 2 nd floor while glancing out of said window.

I close my eyes against the cool surface.

I don’t know what I was thinking. The most probable scenario is that I wasn’t.

Do I regret it though?

No. I don’t.

When he told me he was staying in a hotel, the urge to offer him my guest room was so strong the words spilled out of my mouth of their own volition. Spending time with him again made the hurt of his absence pulse like an open wound, a wound I badly wanted to bandage by any means possible.

Ungluing myself from the window, I find myself pacing in the living room, trying to shake off the incessant buzzing that has taken permanent residence under my skin.

This will be fine. Right?

Nothing has to change. We can go back to being best friends like we used to be before that day.

That day when he upturned my whole world with a simple touch and then left before I’d even had the time and the chance to make sense of it.

That day, seventeen years ago, when Liam whispered a secret desire on my lips that stirred something in me, something that has been slumbering since then until I saw him again.

I shake my head violently, wishing to make these thoughts disappear.

No, I just want my friend back. I want him here in my space where we can be us again and I will not do anything to jeopardize this chance.

I just want him back.

That’s all this is.

***

“How much stuff do you have, exactly?”

Liam chuckles as we carry the last of his boxes upstairs.

“Is that a dig on me?”

“No. No dig, just wondering how severely compromised my back and knees are going to be tomorrow.”

“Hey, it’s not my fault your elevator chose today to take a leave of absence.”

Yeah, that was a fun discovery.

“Whatever. You owe me big.”

Closing the door behind us, we take stock of where everything needs to go.

I’m just messing with him anyway; his stuff is mostly clothes and a few personal effects. Nothing that my apartment—which is albeit of average size—can’t handle.

I give him a brief tour of the rooms—spacious living room with huge TV set, ordinary kitchen with a wooden table and a couple of chairs, two bedrooms, one bathroom.

“We’ll have to share the bathroom but at least the bedroom is decent.” I rub my neck self-consciously.

Am I anxious to hear what he thinks of my place?

God, this is getting ridiculous.

Liam aims a side-smile at me that instantly makes my concern evaporate.

“It’s perfect, Coop,” he says, his hand raising to wrap around the neck I was rubbing only seconds ago. He applies just the smallest amount of pressure and I want to fucking purr.

Fuck, I’ve missed this so much.

A sharp inhale brings me back from this brief state of bliss, remembering that I have the worst sort of audience. Hoping Liam didn’t notice my reaction, I raise my gaze to meet his.

And his eyes are blazing.

“You still like that, huh?” His voice is soft, almost intimate and my throat is so dry I’m having trouble uttering an answer.

“You know me,” I attempt in an easy tone that probably convinces no one.

As casually as I can, I shrug his hand off, missing the warmth almost immediately.

“Anyway, make yourself at home. What’s mine is yours, and all that crap.”

He laughs and I breathe out a sigh of relief when the tension between us dissipates.

“So,” he says, turning towards me with a grin firmly in place. “What are we doing for the rest of the day?”

***

My best friend is back.

That’s the one thought that plays over and over in my head during the next few days.

We put all his things away and it’s crazy how in such a short amount of time, my apartment is already showing the first signs of Liam living with me; the leather jacket he favors hanging by the door, toiletries on the bathroom counter—including an expensive-looking cologne I may or may not have sniffed and groaned at the scent—and his personal laptop, notepads, and pen sitting on the coffee table.

Even now as I’m driving home from my shift at the café, my heart skips a beat at the thought of seeing those things at my place. Of knowing he’ll be there, waiting for me.

Well, not waiting for me per se.

Just, you know – uh – there, at my place, doing his own thing.

Definitely not waiting for me.

Jesus, why am I behaving like this?

We’re just two friends living together temporarily.

But when I get home and the first thing I see is him on the couch, fiddling with the remote and Netflix, an open pizza box in front of him, untouched and still piping hot, something thrushes violently inside my chest.

Something that is as strange as it is familiar.

“Hey,” I smile when he looks up. “What’s all this?”

“Um, I thought I’d order something so you’d have something to eat when you got off work,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck with a sheepish expression that makes me want to grin.

“And it’s just now hitting me that maybe this isn’t the pizza that you like anymore,” he finishes, throwing a frown at the delicious pizza in front of him.

Peperoni with extra sausage. My favorite.

My insides warm at the gesture, a small lump clogging my throat.

“Thank you, Li,” I tell him quietly, but he hears me and his eyes meet mine and stay.

I feel trapped in that mossy-green gaze and I wish I knew what he is thinking.

“Besides,” I clear my throat, “you know me, I’m a total sausage lover.”

My words register 0.2 seconds after I’ve said them, and seeing the wolfish grin on Liam’s face, I groan out loud.

“Is that so?” he chortles.

“Oh, shut up,” I shoot back and he laughs so hard that his eyes squint. “I’m gonna go change and wash up. Don’t you dare start without me.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it, Coop,” I hear him say as I head to my bedroom. “Wouldn’t want to keep all the sausage to myself.”

The “thump” of my balled shirt that hits him on the head is immensely satisfying.

Fifteen minutes later, we’re eating our way through the pizza, only pausing for a swig of some nice, cold beer.

Between the food, the reminiscing about the past, and the bringing up of every stupid thing we’ve done since we were kids, which makes us end up laughing until my stomach hurts, the action film we’re supposed to be watching might as well be just background noise for all the attention we’re giving it.

For a few moments, it feels like he never left.

“So you’re all worldly now, huh? The hot-shot physio that all teams want,” I snicker, bumping my shoulder with his.

He groans loudly. “There are so many wrong things with that statement.”

“The worldly part or the hot-shot part?”

“Both.”

“Didn’t you travel all over?”

“Well, yeah, somewhat but—”

“And didn’t you work with several sports teams?”

“Sure, but again—”

“Then, in my book, I see nothing wrong with it,” I tell him, feeling the corners of my lips tip up. “You got to live your dream, Li. Isn’t that what you wanted?”

The light from the TV casts half of Liam’s face in shadow.

But his eyes look at me unwaveringly.

Something flutters in my already full stomach and I swallow.

His gaze tracks the movement before his eyes drag back to mine.

“Yes,” he nods slowly, his voice a harsh whisper. “It’s what I wanted.”

It looks as if he wants to say more but then his expression softens and he smiles in the achingly familiar way I love.

“Anyway, if anyone should be bragging, it should be you, Coop. Your café looks amazing, you should be proud.”

His words send violent bursts of joy spreading through me, making it impossible not to grin like a madman.

“You liked it?”

“I loved it,” he says, and I believe him.

We talk a bit more about our jobs but when our conversation shifts towards his dad and their still ongoing famous mystery novel conspiracy theory calls, I make sure to bring him up to speed with EVERYTHING my family, and especially my sisters have been up to.

“Little Ginny is married?” he gapes. “That’s impossible, she’s still in pigtails.”

“Trust me, she had a hard time believing it, too. Let’s just say Brian wore her down and by that time, she was pretty happy to be worn down.

They met while they worked at the same school, you know.

She was the goth art teacher, he was the shredded PE teacher.

It was a match made in hell. Now, they both terrorize children equally. ”

Liam is smiling from ear to ear, listening to every word I say, and I’d be lying if I said that having his attention back on me doesn’t send a dangerous thrill through my veins.

“That’s so great to hear, Coop. And what about Lizzy?”

“Oh, Lizzy is just happy being on her own. She has her casual ‘flings’ as she calls them, but she’s free as a bird. She’s a video-game designer now and she’s pleased as punch.”

Liam grins widely.

He’s always been very fond of my sisters. I have so many memories of him staying over at our place when we were little, Ginny and Lizzy asking us dozens of times to fix up their hair, which of course we botched more times than we got them right.

It’s only because I’m watching his grinning expression closely that I notice the happy sparkle in his green eyes shift into something different. More serious. Deep. Focused.

“And what about you, Coop?”

The question momentarily surprises me, not sure what he’s referring to.

“What about me?”

His eyes hold me captive in a way that makes it impossible to look away from them and break the connection.

“Are you with someone?” His voice is low and controlled, his earlier amusement gone.

I swallow as I scramble to find the words to answer his question.

“No,” I breathe out, my words almost compelled out of me. “There’s no one.”

And the truth behind that statement burns my throat like fucking acid, all my failed attempts at chasing that elusive something that was supposed to feel like home flashing through my mind.

The acid spreads down my insides until all I feel is a deep-seated ache that never leaves me.

A need for something that never quiets down.

I don’t realize I’m fidgeting until I’m practically picking apart the loose threads of a hole in my jeans, an agitation I haven’t felt in a while.

The couch dips near me and the scent of lavender and spicy orange fills my nostrils before I feel Liam’s warm hand on my neck.

He kneads the spot and the tension bleeds out of me as my head hangs forward and my lids slip shut.

A different sort of desperation threatens to engulf me, one that screams for him to never stop what he’s doing, to never let go, to keep touching me. Over. And over. And over again.

I feel the whisper of a breath brushing the side of my face before Liam’s calm voice slides over my skin.

“Come here.”

The words are barely out of his mouth before I’m practically lunging towards that voice, burrowing in Liam’s warmth and calming scent as he pulls me against his body, his arms wrapping tightly around me.

Finally. The word resonates through me, filling me with unspeakable relief.

The touch is electric. Addictive.

It’s been so many years since he’s held me like this. I’m closer than I could ever be, given the way we’re sitting like this.

My face is against the hollow of his throat. And I swear, my body obeys none of my commands to stay still, instead moving to nuzzle where that intoxicating smell is stronger.

I know I should stop. I know I should pull back and play it cool, not act like this. Like he’s giving me something I can’t tear myself away from.

A shiver racks his body but I’m too lost in this mindless bliss of home, home, home that it never fully registers. I merely tighten my arms around his back, my hands fisting his shirt so hard they’ll probably stay that way forever.

“Coop...” he whispers shakily.

I shake my head against him.

“Coop, look at me. Please.”

The plea in his tone is the only thing that makes me lift my head.

Memories of a summer night, whispering leaves, moonlight-spiked darkness, and hard tree bark rough against my back play like a slideshow the moment our eyes lock.

I see everything I’m remembering reflected in his forest-green eyes, buried in his blown-out pupils.

Oh God.

Embarrassment burns through me as I realize the way I’m clinging to him like he’s something I need to survive.

What the hell is wrong with me?

I’m supposed to be doing everything I can to bring us back to what we were, not fuck up everything again just because I…

The phone rings, making both of us jump, effectively snapping me out of whatever spiral I managed to catapult myself into.

Avoiding Liam’s gaze, I untangle myself from his arms and reach for my phone.

Nate’s name flashes on the screen.

I clear my throat and answer the call.

“Hey, buddy. What’s up?” Jesus, is that my voice?

“Hey, man. Sorry to bother you. I… uh… kind of need your help.”

The way he sounds—hesitant and completely off—puts me immediately on high alert.

“What’s wrong?”

I can feel Liam shifting next to me, his intense stare almost like a physical touch.

“I had an accident.”