Page 19 of Advocate Omega (Unforeseen Paths #1)

Zander

“This is stupid,” I whine and aggressively fluff the damn pillows.

Lucan stands at the foot of the bed, clothed, and I hate that I can’t see his cock. But I keep fluffing and rearranging.

It’s not right. With a frustrated yell, I destroy my ridiculous creation and try again.

“Sweet,” he says carefully. “Let me do this.”

“No.” I huff and puff, naked, on my hands and knees. “I just…I need it right , Luc. And it isn’t, and I don’t know why.”

He walks around to the side of the bed so our eyes can meet. I glance at him, not wanting to cry over it again. “Did your father never nest?”

“ Nest ?” I spit the word out. “This isn’t a nest.”

Humming, he neatly stacks the pillows along the headboard, then taps my thigh to get me to scoot over. “It’s meant to be comfortable. To cradle your body and create a place to feel safe.”

I watch him work, alternating between layering a pillow and a piece of his clothing. After each time we fuck, I make him wear an outfit so his scent is fresh. When he makes a flat section, covering the pillows with his blanket and several t-shirts, he gestures for me to lie down.

“Try this, baby.”

I eye it suspiciously, not wanting to admit it looks far more cozy than anything I’ve come up with. And it would fit both of us when we snuggle. I crawl over it, lie down, and wiggle a bit. A happy sigh escapes me as I fist one of his shirts and sniff it loudly.

“Thank you,” I whisper.

Out of the corner of my eye, I catch him stripping.

His abs flex and ripple while he takes off his shirt.

He carefully drapes it over me. Then he removes the pants and underwear.

I steal the briefs from his hand before he can even offer them to me and stuff them by my face. He chuckles fondly and pets my hair.

“Better?”

“Mhm.” I yawn, exhausted but horny. “Spoon me?”

He’s there without a moment’s hesitation. My back is to his front, one arm wraps around my middle while the other tucks under my head. “Typically, you’d be in your home for a heat. That’s why it isn’t…right,” he explains, lightly stroking my belly.

“I don’t have one of those,” I whisper and wiggle so my ass connects with his cock. Gods, he’s always hard for me.

With ease, he positions my hips and slides inside of me. I moan, biting down on the pillow as my eyes roll. But he doesn’t fuck me. “Where did you grow up?” he asks.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” I mumble, clenching my channel.

Fingers dig into my side. “Can’t I learn you too?”

When he puts it like that…

“In a bad place,” I say.

His grip tightens, a low growl rumbling in his throat. “What happened?”

“Luc,” I sigh. “Please. I’m tired and my stomach hurts.”

“You will tell me, though? Later?” he pries.

“Sure,” I mumble. “Put me to sleep?”

“Of course, sweet thing.” His hips rock against me, a steady but gentle glide, all the while pressing soft kisses to my shoulder.

On day five of my heat cycle, we run out of food.

I’m as insatiable as ever with no signs of it stopping. And because of it, I’m overly emotional. Random crying fits, crazed, almost violent sex that I initiate.

And the fucking pillows. I don’t know why I need them. They aren’t what I want , but I don’t know what that is. Frustrating doesn’t even begin to describe it.

All I want is Lucan’s cock and his clothes within arm’s reach.

There’s no way I’m not nearing the end of it.

I can’t keep going at the pace I am. I’m so fucking sore I can hardly stand.

Lucan has had to carry me into the shower each time it’s time to wash.

He’s even had to steady me while I sat on the toilet to pee.

Since I was still starving every time I wasn't passed out, Lucan said he needed to leave me to restock our food. That’s the current reason I’m having a complete meltdown. Seriously, snot is running into my mouth, I’m wailing like someone died, and I can’t seem to stop.

“Baby,” he coos, cleaning my tears with a wet washcloth.

We are in bed, sitting in soaked sheets.

We ran out of clean linens, too. While I was napping this morning, he washed the spares and hung them up outside to dry.

So my weird makeshift nest isn’t right, and it’s fucking wet.

“Sweet thing, it’ll only be maybe an hour. I’m coming back for you.”

“I don’t need food,” I blubber. “I just need you .”

His green eyes soften further, and he gathers me in his arms. “I can’t let you not eat. You’ll get sick.”

“I don’t care!”

“But I do,” he says gently. “I care too much.”

I snarl in frustration before crying again. “What if you don’t come back? What if—”

“I’m coming back.” He squeezes me tightly and nuzzles my neck.

“But what if you don’t ?” I insist. “What if I need you and you aren’t here? You saw what happened before!”

“I’ll tell you what,” he starts, pulling back to swipe at my fresh tears, “when the next wave hits, I’ll fuck you hard and fast so that way you’ll sleep. You won’t even know I’m gone.”

“I’ll know,” I grumble, then sniffle loudly.

He smiles, pets my hair, and tucks it behind my ears. “You don’t wake up when you’re asleep, precious. Trust me, I know.”

I huff and pout. That makes him laugh. Like, I’m adorable or something.

My stomach chooses that exact moment to betray me, rumbling loudly.

He runs his palm over it, feeling how swollen my lower abdomen is.

It’s all that cum. Something inside me preens knowing it’s his, too.

“Let me take care of you,” he murmurs. “Let me feed you.”

“Feeding me requires you to leave . I don’t want you to leave. Didn’t you say it’s my choice or whatever?”

“Brat,” he says, chomping his canines at my face. I giggle like a damn schoolgirl and then throw my arms around his neck. He slaps one hand over my ass and holds me with his other arm. “You know I could order you around and you’d listen.”

I blow a raspberry into his ear. “You wouldn’t.”

“Mmm, but I would if it meant making sure you have everything you need.”

“I already do! I have you, Luc. You and me. That’s it.”

He whimpers, catching me by surprise. I feel the way his hold tightens and his breath comes in sharper. His heart thumps harder and louder. “Luc?” I ask, too afraid to pull back and look into his eyes.

“Yes, baby,” he whispers.

“I…” I swallow hard, stuff my nose into his slightly damp hair, and steel myself. “I wish I could be this for real.”

“This?”

“Your omega.” There. I said it.

It’s been nagging at my brain ever since he told me about Ian .

How he was rejected and abandoned by his pod, cast out like some monster when all he wants is someone to love him and treat him right.

I know that this urge I feel to make it all better has everything to do with this heat, with our nearness, but a part of me wonders if it comes from a deeper place.

Some part of me that I have been pretending doesn’t exist.

I saw the way my sires loved my father. The way they tried to protect him from our captors.

Whenever we were allowed to be together, my sires fawned over my father, and he did the same.

There wasn’t a moment when they weren’t touching, kissing, smiling, and whining for all that lost time while those Terra fucks kept us apart.

My father never once seemed to hate his role among them.

In fact, he cherished it, despite being often ripped away from them and forced to be bred by other alphas.

When he was with them? They were the only wolves he had eyes for.

“You don’t know what you’re saying,” Lucan croaks.

“It feels like I do,” I say. “It feels like I was always meant to end up here, even if I tried to fight it.”

Another whimper. “Stop.”

He’s shaking. I’m shaking.

No one ever told me what it’s like for an alpha during a rut.

I never even thought to ask. Too focused on what I didn’t want to happen to me.

So many times, I’ve villainized them and claimed they only cared about their cocks.

Lucan isn’t like that. I don’t think anyone has cared for me like he has.

Braving the look on his face, I pull back and lift his tucked chin.

Damp, green eyes lock on mine. They’re sad, always sad, but beneath that is a fragment of hope. I kiss him gently, and he groans against my lips. “Get inside me, Luc.”

His cock, already hard, finds its way to my hole and slips inside. Warm, reverent hands feel up and down my sides before caressing my belly, then they travel up to my sensitive nipples and land on either side of my face. “You are going to wreck me, baby. You do know that, right?”

“I don’t want to wreck you,” I say through a gasp. “I want to be the glue that sticks all the cracks back together.”

He whimpers before kissing me hard.

I stretch out in bed, yawning loudly. My hole spasms, but not because I need a cock up there, but because it’s sore. Weird. Usually, after my naps, I’m demanding Lucan fuck me. Hell, I’m usually sobbing for it.

Smacking my dry lips, I crack open my eyes, expecting to see his big body beside me, but there’s only mismatched pillows.

“Luc?” I call out.

Nothing.

I sniff the air, trying to locate him in the house, but I don’t smell him.

Panic punches me in the throat, and I hold it, gasping for air and whining. I scramble to get out of bed, my hand brushing against some paper. Shivering, I grab it and bring it to my face.

If you’re reading this, it means I’m not back yet.

You need food, sweet thing.

I’ll be back soon.

X

“UGH!” I roar, ball up the letter, and throw it as hard as I can.

Deep-seated sadness consumes me as I sink back down onto the bed. I hold my naked arms, feeling exposed and cut open. Hurrying to grab the blanket we kicked off last night—the one that smells the most like him—I wrap it around my body and bite my lip to stop it from wobbling.

He left me.

Fucking left.

Just like my parents did.