Page 18 of Advocate Omega (Unforeseen Paths #1)

Lucan

A better male would see this for what it is: a heat cycle and a rut.

It doesn’t mean what I think it does. But my heart pumps harder than it ever has, my desire to be near him so strong that it causes physical pain to part from him.

Zander refused to shower after I pumped him full of cum, his little belly swollen and plump.

It’s driving me mad with affection seeing it.

Nestled in my lap, sitting on three towels because he’s a mess, I hand-feed him another ball of pastrami.

He was falling asleep while eating his pre-made sandwich, yet he was still hungry.

I’ve been alternating between the meat and water.

With one hand on his belly, I lift the other to his lips and let him lick and suck my fingers to get all the meat. “My breath is going to smell awful after this,” he complains.

“I brought toothbrushes and toothpaste.”

“You’re so thoughtful,” he sighs and refuses my next offering. “Aren’t you hungry?”

I shake my head. “I’m in a rut, sweet. My body is conditioned to go without.”

“I forgot about that,” he whispers and sags against my chest. Those delicate fingers of his run through my arm hair. “I’m so tired.”

I kiss the side of his head. “Then sleep. I’m here.”

He yawns loudly before saying, “Don’t want to.”

“I’m pleased to see you haven’t lost your argumentative side.”

“We aren’t arguing,” he argues.

I laugh, squeezing him tighter. “If you say so.”

“Tell me about you.”

“What do you want to know?”

He’s quiet for a while, absently petting me and nuzzling my arm. “What do you enjoy doing?”

Ah, circling back to our conversation from yesterday.

“I like to make things. Whittling is just what I’ve resorted to lately, but anything I can do with my hands, I enjoy.”

“Like what?” he whispers, his body going limp.

“I built my cabin,” I admit. “Five years ago.”

“All alone?” His voice is even quieter, but his fingers cling to me.

“Yes.” He whines for me, and my chest aches. “Sleep.”

“No.”

Again, I can’t help but chuckle. Such a little brat when he wants to be.

“I want to learn all about you.” He tries to rally, to sit up straighter, but ends up right back where he was. I band a second arm around him. “What else do you like, Luc?”

You. I bite my tongue. Emotions are high for an alpha during a rut, regardless of who that alpha is. I’m no different. It’s not hard to get caught up in how easily intimacy comes.

“Being in my true form.” Something I haven’t done in a long time. “Running and feeling the wind in my fur. Knowing that nothing and no one can stop me. I love seeing through my wolf eyes and stripped of human consciousness.”

“You like being free,” he corrects.

I guess that’s true. I hadn’t thought of it that way.

“I like being free too,” he adds sleepily before turning on his side, tucking his legs up over my thigh, and pressing his cheek to my chest. “Maybe we can be free together.”

I stare down at him. This omega has no idea what his words and actions are doing to me. He hasn’t the slightest fucking clue how badly I want what he’s offering. I used to think it was only possible with Ian. That my love for him could never be replaced or outshone.

Ian was everything I thought I wanted back when I was a young wolf.

I’d courted him for years before ever pushing for more.

He’d been with countless alphas by the time we ever kissed—touched.

And when his first heat with me finally came, I was so fucking happy.

I bonded with him. I chose him. We had the same life goals—pups, a pod of our own, a big home, and everything else.

I thought that meant he loved me.

I thought that meant he would choose me.

As I gently pet Zander’s hair, watching his eyes struggle to stay open, I’m overrun with abrupt fear.

The ache of emptiness isn’t as intense now.

That loneliness I’ve grown accustomed to seems like a lifetime ago, and it’s only been three days.

All my traits that were overlooked or taken for granted don’t feel that way with Zander. He feels like more.

Fuck, he feels like mine.

I cup his cheek and tilt his head up so I can kiss him.

He comes easily, moaning against my lips and twisting to straddle me.

As he sinks onto my hard cock, whimpering as I fill him, I have to shake away these hopes and dreams. I’ll take care of him, I’ll keep him safe, but I won’t make the same mistake again. He might feel like mine, but he isn’t.

I doubt he ever will be.

Three days of his heat cycle with no signs of it ending.

I might not feel it now, but I will later.

We alternate between rough fucks and gentle sex.

He will be desperate and sobbing, begging to be railed against the wall, on the floor, in the shower, and other times he wants to ride me, taking his time and kissing me like I’m the only male he will ever kiss.

I’m drowning in the haze of him, desperate for a break because he’s wearing me down.

Every time I scent him—at his incessant demand—I want to mark him permanently. I want to envenomate him, claim and steal him away. Whenever I feed him and clean him, I think it’ll be this way afterward.

After our first day, his nesting instincts kicked in.

Although I doubt he sees it that way, I spot the signs.

The bed we’ve chosen is piled with every pillow I could find.

He refuses to wear clothes but hoards all of mine.

Shirts, pants, and my briefs are all wedged between the pillows so he’s constantly surrounded by my scent.

I even went and got the old blanket I keep in my truck for him to nuzzle and smell while he sleeps.

He asks me silly questions when he’s refusing to sleep, talks about all his ridiculous ideas for careers , and then promises me little sweet nothings that I know are fueled by his heat. This affection he feels for me is coming from his hormones, not his heart.

But my heart?

It reaches for his. It begs for his to open it’s arms and accept me. To claim me and want me.

It’s fucking miserable.

“Luc?”

“Yes, sweet?” I reach over to the nightstand to grab him some more melon slices. He’s had quite the sweet tooth today.

Curled on his side, he pets my right arm and nestles into my armpit. One of my shirts is in his other hand, tucked under his chin. “How much longer? Can you smell it?”

“I’m not sure,” I admit before offering him another piece of fruit. He opens for me and sucks it from my fingers. Chewing and then licking his lips, he blinks up at me expectantly.

It’s our new thing.

Since I haven’t eaten, he insists I taste everything he eats. So I lean down and kiss his lips. He sighs happily and then continues his questions, “How do we know? Like, will my hole just dry up? I’m sorry, I need all these pillows. It’s just not comfortable without them.”

I laugh, plucking the water bottle next. “And that’s why we have a dozen pillows for you , precious. As far as your heat goes, you will feel less of a craving. The waves will become more spaced apart, and then, they’ll stop.”

“But it’s been three days.” He pouts and then groans when I push the bottle to his lips. Those blue eyes pin me with sass as he begrudgingly drinks. He’s terrible about drinking water. Says it is tasteless. I’ve argued that’s the point. He argues that beverages should all have a flavor.

We agree to disagree there.

“Won’t your alpha start wondering why you aren’t back?”

I don’t know. I haven’t checked my phone since that second wave.

Ulric called to inform me that he found Zander’s clothes.

The ones I forgot were sitting in my bathroom hamper.

I fumbled through a lie saying that he must’ve waited until I left and utilized the facilities at my house.

I even went as far as to explain that a terrified omega, hiding in the woods, would want a warm bed and a hot shower at some point.

He agreed, but I still detected a hint of suspicion in his tone.

“This isn’t the first time I’ve left our territory.”

“It isn’t?”

How we always end up circling back to this topic is ridiculous. It isn’t that I don’t want to be honest with him, but reliving my past is painful, even if that pain has eased over these past five days. “Six years ago, I left for three months.”

He perks up, snuggling closer, and waits for more elaboration. I kiss the tip of his nose because he’s so fucking cute.

“It was when I left my pod…and my pack. I couldn’t handle being around anyone, and I came here for a while. I spent a lot of time in my wolf form. It was mostly to hide from the pain and live simply. I thought that if I didn’t shift back, it would lessen the effects of my rejected bond.”

“Did it? Did it help?”

“No,” I admit with a sigh. “I felt it even then. In ways, it was worse because instead of the pain, I kept trying to run home. I’d get about halfway before forcing myself to shift, and…” I trail off, not wanting to say the following parts out loud.

I’d scream until my lungs bled. I would hurt myself to feel anything other than the loss.

I’d drink. Gods, I drank so much during that time that most of it is a blur.

And then, when I finally concluded I wasn’t going to get any better, I went back to Thorn Valley and begged Ian to take me back.

I sobbed at his feet like a pup, garnered the disdain from his new alpha, and they forced me off their property.

I didn’t go easily, and blood was spilt. I was convinced Ian would take me back.

He didn’t.

“Luc?”

I suck in a shaky breath. “Yes?”

“I hate this omega.”

What?

He elaborates. “The omega that rejected you. Ian, I presume?”

I nod slowly, wondering where he’s going with this.

Zander presses a soft kiss to my pec and crawls into my lap.

Aggressively shoving away his nest of pillows so he has more access, he changes his mind at the last minute and stuffs my underwear next to my head.

He doesn’t mount me despite the slick covering my cock, but he leans forward and nudges my chin to the right.

I bare my throat to him, swallowing hard.

His lips skate over my skin, sweet and warm, and his tongue licks up the column of my throat before coating behind my ear.

Fuck. He’s scenting me.

“I hate him,” he repeats, a little growl lacing his voice.

My cock bucks under him. “Not everyone gets someone like you. Someone who cares,” he nuzzles deeper, breathing me in and biting down.

When his tongue soothes the mild sting, he continues to make my heart weep, “The type of male that deserves a worthy mate. The kind of alpha I didn’t think exists. ”

“I’m not an alpha,” I whisper.

“You are.”

“A rejected alpha isn’t an alpha. Let alone the type that behaved the way I did.”

“Shut up,” he snarls, grabs my face, and lifts to slam down on my cock.

I moan against my will. “I know this is my baby maker talking, but maybe it isn’t.

Maybe… shit .” He whines and rocks over my length.

“Maybe I mean it. I don’t want you pining for that…

that…” I band an arm around his back and thrust up into him, his words spurring me to take what I want. And I want him.

“That used-up whore .”

I growl and kiss him hard.

“I could take care of you, too,” he says against my lips. “I could, Luc. I swear it. Maybe that’ll be my career.”

Unable to hear anymore faux promises, I flip us and fuck him until all he can do is scream.