Page 16 of A Vow of Shadow and Blood

She sits up fully, shaking off my hold.

“I don’t want you to find another way. It’s too dangerous.”

Heat ripples through every inch of me at her words.

“What would you do if it were me? If the roles were reversed and you could do what I can, and you were watching me die? What would you do, Low?”

“It doesn’t matter becaus—”

“What would you do?” I demand.

Our eyes meet in a challenge neither of us backs down from.

“Your silence tells me all I need to know,” I say. I stand until I am looking down at her, hands on my hips. “You’re a hypocrite. You are literally asking me to stop when you never would if you were in my position.”

This time, she stands.

“And what would you do if the roles were reversed? If you were the sick one, and I was out there risking my life day in day out with creatures who could literally rip me limb from limb. You think the potency of your blood will protect you if you’re caught or that Athriel can step in and save the day.”

I have repeatedly saved the day, he says.

“You risk too much, knowing you would never want me to do the same in your position.”

I dip my head. She’s right. Everything she’s saying is the truth, and yet there’s no way I can give up.

“I can’t watch you die,” I whisper.

She sighs and then steps forward.

“I know.”

I step away from her and turn toward the door.

“No, you don’t know. You’re my sister, and I love you, but it’s not the only reason I need you alive.” I pause for a second before turning to face her. “This is probably the most selfish thing I willever admit, but if you die, I will have no one. I will be completely alone in this world. I will have no reason left to keep going because Ihatethis. I hate being a pureblood. I hate living under their rule and smiling when all I want to do is scream. I hate being leered at and touched without my permission. I hate being hurt and healed just so they can do it again purely for their own twisted entertainment. I hate watching other humans die at the hands of monsters, but every day I do it—because I know I’m not alone. Everyone thinks I’m so damn strong, like I can handle it all, but I can’t. I only keep going because we’re in this together. And I know it’s not fair for me to even say this, but if you—if you die, I don’t think I could keep doing it.”

She walks straight up to me and wraps her arms around me. I tense for a second before relaxing against her touch and wrapping my arms around her.

“Gods, Adina, I wish you could see yourself through my eyes,” she whispers. “You are so much stronger than you think.”

I start to shake my head, but she steps back and holds my face in her hands, forcing me to look at her.

“Yes, you are. Look at what you can do. You were chosen for greater things, I know it. I feel it, but it’s only when I stop being your responsibility that you’ll find your purpose.” I go to pull away, but she holds tighter. “I know you don’t want to hear this, but it’s true. I admire you so much, and I thank the gods every day for blessing me with a sister like you. I’m just waiting for the day that you realize just how special you are.”

I feel the warm trail of tears down my cheeks as the soft pads of her thumbs wipe them away.

“No matter what, you’re going to be ok because you’re my sister and you’re a fucking vampire slayer.”

Laughter spills from me, and she joins in.

“I hate that name,” I say.

“I love you, Adina, but I need you to love yourself too. I need you to fight for yourself because your existence means more than just keeping me alive. It means so much more, and I need you to promise to always remember that. To keep fighting even if I’m not around anymore.”

My stomach dips at her words, but she doesn’t relent until I agree.

“I’ll try.”

“That’s all I need,” she says.