Page 58 of A Very Bossy Christmas

She slows and sways, and I force my eyes open so I can watch in awe as the waves of orgasm take over her body. My name escapes her lips, mingles with somefucks, a fewOh Gods,and when she reaches a crescendo, that’s when it’s time formeto take over her body.

I get her on her back, lift one leg to rest it on my shoulder, and drive into her.

Thrusting and grunting like I’m trying to save both of our lives, and maybe I am.

She screams my name, and only my name, and that’s more like it.

Tight and wet and mine. Mine to infuriate, mine to please, and mine to empty myself into until all that’s left is a groan and her name on my lips and a silent prayer to one day tell her how I really feel. Out loud. Fearlessly. Because it already feels like a lie of omission.

But what’s true and good and real right now is this sweet release and the way she holds me tight, cooing and encouraging me to come for her.

And I do.

I come for her.

I come for me.

I come for the man I want to be for her and the us that I always saw us becoming.

The dark, quiet stillness that follows the blast is sweet relief and instant regret at the same time.

Because I can’t ask her to stay here with me instead of spending Christmas with her family.

And I can’t tell her just how lonely I’ll be at the office without her.

And I can’t ask her to invite me to her family dinner.

So I say nothing.

She says nothing.

We catch our breaths.

We’ll catch our separate flights back to New York.

And I’ll keep pretending that it’s my brother’s wedding that I need Maddie for and not every damn thing that makes my life worth living.

Chapter Twenty-Six

MADDIE: You asshole!!! We said no Christmas presents!

DECLAN: You said no exchanging of Christmas presents. We aren’t exchanging gifts. I ordered you something last week, and you did not get anything for me. Who’s the asshole now?

MADDIE: I didn’t want you to feel obligated to get me anything. Did you have Mrs. Pavlovsky put this in here?

DECLAN: Yes. I mean, I had her let the delivery guys in and tell them where to put it. I didn’t make an old lady move and set up a punching bag. I’m not that big of an asshole.

MADDIE: Is that why you were looking around my apartment when you came over? To see if I had room for a punching bag?

DECLAN: Sure. I definitely wasn’t checking out all the different surfaces I could fuck you on or against. Wait. This is your personal phone, right?

MADDIE: Well, it’s a VERY personal phone now… I will work out so much aggression on this thing. It’s really more of a gift for you, but thank you! I love it. Will tape a picture of you to it immediately.

DECLAN: Hey now, I want you to save a little aggression for me.

MADDIE: You back home?

DECLAN: Yep. Getting ready to go to the office. You leaving for your family thing?