Page 263 of A University of Betrayal

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, hating myself for just ruining the date.

“Hey, Ems...” Julian put his hand on my shoulder... and I let him. “I’m sorry. I was an idiot. I should have checked in with you more often.”

“No, it’s okay, I understand. The pack...” I began, but Julian cut me off and scooted closer to me, making my stomach tingle a little.

“Forget about the pack for a moment. It’s aboutyou.”

And suddenly something blurted out of me that had been haunting me for two days. “What am I without the pack, Julian?” My eyes became so watery that my vision of Julian blurred. “What am I without these people, without this place?”

“Is it because of Russia?” There was audible concern in his voice. “You know you don’t have to go there.”

Automatically, I wondered if he would miss me. I looked at him desperately, wishing he would say so. But he remained calm, thoughtful.

And then we sat there, listening to the last of the birds and looking down at the stream, along the overgrown course of which fireflies were beginning to gather. The place was beautiful and distracted me from my thoughts. But only for the moment...

“More has changed than you think,” I sighed. “My brothers are no longer children, everyone around me wants to prove themselves. Now we have important guests, and it’s all the more important how I present myself as the Alpha’s daughter.”

Ever since the conversation with Tania, this title had made me feel uncomfortable.

“Even back then, the pack was already so important to you...”

I didn’t look at Julian, continuing to stare at the stream that reflected the soft glow of the tiny animals.

“Because it’s the place where I can be myself. My true nature only has a home there... and a purpose.”

What were we without our pack? Where was our home if not in a place where we were bound together by our similarities and formed an invincible unit? On our own, we were lost, lonely, vulnerable. Hunters could hunt us. Here we had a hunt-free area, my family’s private property, vast lands, almost half an island.

I turned my head to the person who had always made me feel most understood.

“And it could be yours too.”

The moment I spoke my words, I regretted them, because something inside Julian shut down. I could tell by the way he slowly turned his gaze away from me and toward his hands, which he was clutching the edge of the wood with.

“I’m sorry. I’ve gone too far.”

Julian didn’t say anything for a while, and I was getting more and more nervous.

“Ems... It’s just hard for me to see you separated from the pack. I’m trying to have a good time here with you, but at the same time, I’m being confronted with all the crap I wanted to stay away from.”

I swallowed.

Never would I tell him how much his words had just hurt me. How could I separate myself from the pack? What else did he want to talk about?

Slight anger flared in my stomach.

Hehad asked me on this date, not the other way around.

“I mean, that was also the reason I’d stayed away from you. You’re the Alpha’s daughter. If anyone would remind me most of the part of me I’m trying to separate myself from, it’s you.”

It felt like Julian was taking a knife and severing the connection between us. This was it, the moment when I felt most painfully deeply that Julian had grown away from me.

“Why does everyone alwaysjustsee me as the Alpha’s daughter? As if I have no other characteristics, no personality.”

Anger rose up in me again. Was I really this little girl to everyone?The Alpha’s daughter?

“Because that’s what you are. And youlikebeing it. You evenlivefor it, talking about itall the time.It’s as if you want to carry the entire responsibility of your family on your shoulders.” I stared at him, stunned. “Just the fact that you’re trying to missionize me.” Missionize?Was he serious?I only wanted to help him. “Over and over again.” Julian was upset. He ran his fingers through his hair.“My God...”

His cell phone slipped out of his pocket, down the tree and landed in a rustling pile of leaves.