Page 254 of A University of Betrayal

I eyed him and some naive voice inside me, telling me that I might need the advantages of such a partnership sooner or later, made me nod.

Remorsefully, I pursed my lips.

“Nah,” Miles laughed and slapped me on the shoulder. “I knew you wouldn’t be able to sayNo.” A hell of a pain twitched through my arm and I groaned. “Sorry, mate.” He slapped my other shoulder. “I forgot there was something.”

“I’m not your mate!” I gritted out, but he was already strutting, light-footed, down the stone steps and moving away.

“Have a nice evening!” On the sidewalk, he turned to me one last time. “Oh, by the way, there’s a package at your door.”

Who We Are

Hozier

There really had been a package on my doorstep.

Now I sat in the armchair in front of my fireplace, staring at the beautifully chosen hardcover collection of legends about Medusa.

My hands trembled as I pulled the letter out of the first page.

She had written one to me.

My heart pounded wildly against my chest, hungry for her words, for a sign that she existed out there and was not just a hallucination.

Dear Erik,

I’m sorry.

These are the words that go through my mind every night when I bury my head in my pillow and can’t text you because I destroyed our friendship.

I’m sorry I ran away, that I toyed with your feelings, and I hope you suffer less from it than I do.

You mean a lot to me, so much that I can’t bear you to waste your time on someone like me, because I can’t give you what you deserve.

I don’t deserve your attention, I don’t deserve that your words, your smile, and your affection give my heart the warmth that I lost some time ago.

You deserve someone who can give you everything back. Everything.

You will always have a place in my heart. But never one in my broken world.

Thinking of you,

J

Not until a tear dripped onto the page did I realize I was crying.

“No...” I whispered hoarsely and squeezed my eyes and lips together, holding on to her letter as if someone could take it away from me, as if it could slowly vanish into thin air, just like J’s presence did.

The pain became more and more unbearable until I jumped up and threw the damn whiskey glass into the fireplace.

The glass shattered, the flames flared up, and I stormed across the first floor, pacing back and forth.“No!”

She was suffering.She was fucking suffering!And yet she gave up on us just like that!Damn it,she hadn’t broken anything. Me...It was me!Ihad destroyed this by asking her. It was my fault, and it was my world that was broken!

Cursing, I stopped myself from tearing the piles of books off the commode and throwing the Trojan horse into the fireplace as well.

She was suffering, damn it!And it was all my fault. I didn’t deserve to wear a ring with her initial engraved in it...

With a face contorted in pain, I slid down the bookshelf with my back.