Page 23 of A Treasure To Keep
There’s been one more thing that’s been circulating in my head. The only problem is, I’m not sure how to bring it up. What if he wasn’t serious and laughs at me? “Andrea?”
“Oui, mon trésor?” He holds me close, kissing me on the head, which gives me the courage I need to bring it up.
“Remember what you said yesterday?” He hums, confirming he’s listening. “About having a baby. Is everything stable enoughbetween us to bring a baby into our world? What does this mean about any rendezvous with the goliath of a man, Marco? Or any man by that standard. Let’s put emotions aside. Can we even afford to have a baby? Regardless, I’m due for my shot soon. Should I get it?”
He sits up, forcing me off his chest, and I’m convinced my heart is about to burst out of my chest. “I’ve already scheduled checkup appointments for us today at two. Even if you don’t get your shot, you need to talk with your doctor about how going off your shot could delay pregnancy. Hence, the appointment. When it comes to the other questions, we can sit down tonight and talk about our emotional and financial situation.”
“Are you serious? Don’t joke around with me, Andrea.” He brings me into his lap, kissing me deep enough that I know he’s serious. It’s Andrea. I shouldn’t have doubted him.
“I’d love to watch your belly grow round with my child if the universe would allow it. I’ve dreamed about it since the day I met you.” I notice it’s already eleven, and we have enough time to make love before we go to our appointments.
Our doctors are in the same clinic, and I try to avoid the slight bounce in Andrea’s right knee and how he fiddles with his thumbs. Is he nervous about having a baby? Is he hiding something from me? Does he regret this whole idea?
Before I can ask if he’s all right, I get called back to my gynecologist, leaving Andrea in the lobby. I take one more glance at him before I lose sight of him, noticing the rise and fall of his shoulders. They raise high enough that I wonder if he’s trying tosettle himself. Something's wrong, and he won’t tell me what it is.
When the nurse escorts me into a room, she instructs me to undress and put on the gown. When she shuts the door, I take my time undressing, of course, laying my underwear under my dress. It doesn’t matter that my doctor will be staring right into the eye of the tiger any minute; I can’t let her see my underwear.
Dr. Thatcher knocks several times, her shining face welcoming me as she sits down. “Hi, El. What brings you here? I see you’re due for your shot soon. Normally, you pop in and let anyone give you your shot. Do you have any specific concerns for me?”
Excitement simmers in my body when I answer her question. “My boyfriend and I are considering having a baby.”
“That’s wonderful! Congratulations, El. Something important to know is that some women can take up to a year post-shot to get pregnant, and some women can get pregnant immediately. None of that is meant to scare you; it’s to inform you. That’s part of my job. In the meantime, let’s get some blood work and a full checkup. Simply to cover our bases since you’re here. Ultimately, you’re young and have no preexisting health conditions. I have no doubt you’re healthy enough to have a baby.”
She has me lie back, providing a standard visit before sending me to have bloodwork done. The woman taking my blood mentions my test results will be back in a few days. When it comes back, Dr. Thatcher will call me and schedule me for another visit.
Andrea is already waiting for me in the lobby when I come out from getting bloodwork. He mentions they did bloodwork and had him give a sperm sample; a similar timeline was given for the results. Now we’re left restless, waiting until we know the results of our future.
Chapter 24
Andrea
Aweek and a half later, El and I return to our doctors. She’s mentioned her excitement about having a baby several times a day since our original appointment. She’s been restless out of excitement, and I’ve been restless out of concern. I’ve kept something major from her. Something I thought I would have time to bring up. Until Luci and Alessandro’s wedding.
El kisses me when her name is called back, and I give her my best fake smile. My knee bounces as I wait for my name to be called back. When it does, my heart races, terrified of what results I may have. Would she leave me if the results show what I’ve been dreading?
My doctor comes into the room, his face neutral as he opens the folder that holds the results. He sits down in his rolling chair, turning to face me.
“At your last appointment, we talked about having a baby with your girlfriend. I expressed concerns about the experimental treatment you had as a child for your cancer. The side effects are the primary reason why this treatment didn’tpass the experimental phase. The good news is that nothing showed up on your blood results. What I’m concerned about is your sperm sample.” Insert the dramatic, yet imaginary dun-dun-dun sound effect here.
There it is. The doctors said there could be negative side effects with the experimental treatment, reproductive ability being one of them.
I was five when I was diagnosed with cancer. We tried traditional treatments for six months, noticing that the tumor we found was growing. I remember seeing ma mère in the kitchen when I was supposed to be asleep that night. The doctor I saw recommended making me comfortable and controlling the pain I was constantly in. I didn’t necessarily understand what my doctor meant at the time. What I did understand was that it made ma mère sad, and I hated to see her sad.
A week later, the same doctor called us, telling us that there was a doctor he knew who was experimenting with a different form of treatment. One that’s helped tumors shrink to the point they can be safely removed. Ma mère didn’t hesitate to sign me up, even though it was expensive and had no guarantee it would work.
I run my hand up the nape of my neck, finding the small scar that’s been there for the majority of my life. One that’s the only reminder of the hardship and determination ma mère and I experienced during that time. “What about my sperm sample?”
He closes my file, giving me his whole attention as he speaks. “Your sperm count is low. I’m sure you know that from what your doctor mentioned. I hate to tell you this, but your chances of having a baby are extremely low. Even though it’s not impossible, your chances of having a baby, regardless of how healthy your partner is, are about 2 percent. Maybe less. I’m sorry, I don’t have better news.” This is going to break El. How do I tell her?
“I know your girlfriend is here. I can help you tell her.” I nod my head, knowing that regardless of how I tell her, we will leave this office with broken hearts.
Several minutes later, a nurse opens the door, escorting El into the room before shutting it behind her. She sits next to me, a wide smile on her face. I hate that my body will be the reason I can’t give her what she desperately wants. My mind races, worried about what she may do, and the threat of her leaving me crosses my mind. She wouldn’t leave me because of this. Would she?
“Everything is perfect. We can start officially trying tonight. My doctor said it could take up to a year for my body to detox from the shot, considering how long I was on it. That gives us plenty of time to prepare. Clear out the extra bedroom to turn it into a nursery. Save up money. The whole nine yards. We can run by the store and get ovulation tests on our way home. That way, we know if my body is regulating my ovulation.” I hold her hand firmly in mine, and I know at any moment my doctor will come in and break her heart. “What are we doing in here? Is something wrong?” When I open my mouth, the knock on the door interrupts us as my doctor walks in.
My doctor holds out his hand, shaking El’s as he gives her a polite smile. “Hello, El. It’s nice to meet you. I’ve come in here to chat with you two about test results. With your consent, I talked with your doctor. I’m glad to see everything came back clear. What Andrea and I want to talk about is his results, specifically his sperm sample.” Her hand loosens her grip on mine, eyes flipping between my doctor and me.
“What about his results? Andrea, what’s going on?” She nervously chews on her lip while dread sits in my stomach, waiting for the ball to drop.