Page 28 of A Traitor Sister (Remnants of the Fallen Kingdom #2)

28

RENEL

A zur is leaning on the railing of the balcony corridor, his back to the building.

I punch him lightly. “What was all that knocking for?”

He doesn’t turn to me, too busy staring at a single cloud in the sky. “ Go away, Azur . Sometimes I agree you treat me like a dog.”

“Oh, please. I was busy. Don’t tell me you didn’t also?—”

He turns with a glare that lets me know everything there is to know about his mood.

“Oh.” My tone changes, even if I’m puzzled. “I guess you didn’t .” But it doesn’t make sense. “Not even some kisses? Lovely time together? Holding hands?”

Sometimes I fear he’ll murder me with his stare, and this is one of those.

He sneers. “I don’t have time to trifle with idiocy.”

“Time? What exactly did you do with your time? And you were supposed to trifle with your soulmate, not anything else.”

“Right. Would that make it easier once we go separate ways?”

“Then don’t go separate ways. Bring her with you.”

He rolls his eyes. “To the castle? The one you think is going to be consumed in flames soon? The one where Zorwal might be waiting for us? Why would I do that?”

“I don’t think Zorwal’s alive, and you’re not the castle’s master. You’ll be able to leave when it’s about to get destroyed.”

“And then die because of our bond. How helpful.”

“You know, for someone whose skin is at stake, you don’t seem too interested in stopping the castle.”

“What do you expect me to do?”

“Nothing. There’s nothing to be done other than bracing ourselves for impact and hoping for the best. I spent so long trying to find a way to stop that castle, when perhaps there was never any solution. I’ll face it head-on.”

He glances back at the room. “I thought you were seducing the human.”

“She’s not Astra.” I scoff. “My plan was stupid, Azur. She’s an impostor. But she has a name, and it’s Tarlia. And if you thought that was Astra, why would you interrupt us?”

He runs a hand over his hair. “This place gives me the creeps. And if you want to seduce someone, there’s no harm in leaving them wanting more.”

“ I want more and yet I’m here, getting ready to leave. Look at how responsible I am.”

He raises an eyebrow. “Congratulations.” I feel he’s just being sardonic, but there’s no point arguing.

I sigh. “Now let’s go back and face our doom.”

A muscle in his jaw ticks. “I’ll be right there beside you.”

I rest a hand on his shoulder. “Thank you.”

“It’s my duty.”

I know he’s saying it just because he’s bound, but for me, it still matters a lot. “A duty I appreciate, Azur. And I understand…” I look down, trying to come up with the right words. “I understand it must hurt to send her away.”

“No, you don’t,” he mutters. “Be glad for that.”

I want to tell him that there’s no greater luck than finding one’s soulmate, and yet I doubt it will bring him any consolation. I simply nod and go on my way to the bathing chambers to get a pitcher for Tarlia.

Tarlia. I was so ready to bring her with me to the castle, to hear her laugh every night, to taste more of her, to make love to her on a decent bed. I’d even find a way to make her that dessert she said she likes so much.

But if by any chance Zorwal is alive…

He can’t be. But what if? The thought makes me shudder.

ASTRA

I n my head, my idea made total sense, but now that I’m looking at Ferer and Nelsin, I’m wondering if I’m a lunatic.

To be fair, I considered not telling them my plans, but realistically, I need their help. The problem is that I’m second-guessing my decision.

Nelsin’s ears are perked up, while Ferer rests his chin on his hand, both of them staring at me, waiting.

I should tell them slowly, so as not to shock them, and yet I’m not sure how to explain it gradually.

Finally, I take a deep breath and say, “The Amethyst Palace is in the Shadow Lands. In the forest.”

Oh, that was the opposite of eloquent.

Ferer gives me a slight nod. “It makes sense.” He pauses, then asks, “Do you want to go there?”

“Yes, I do.”

Grim doesn’t even come close to describing their faces.

Ferer swallows. “It’s a dangerous area. At night, especially. We could brave it during the day, if we’re careful. Can you wait until Marlak returns?”

Of course he’d ask that.

“The Nymph Queen pulled me into her court to tell me I had to hurry, that I needed to find myself and my magic immediately.”

“I understand the hurry,” Ferer says. “But he should be back soon. He’s one of the most powerful fae alive, Astra. If anyone can help you walk safely over there, it’s Marlak.”

Nelsin taps on the table. “Not necessarily. A soulsucker almost defeated him, did it not?”

Ferer sighs. “During the day, Nelsin. I’m not suggesting we go there at night. What I think we should do is plan well, and then go as soon as he’s back.”

“I agree,” I say, even though I disagree. But I need to make my point. “I think waiting for him is a great idea.”

Ferer exhales, clearly relieved, while Nelsin narrows his eyes staring at me, I suppose wondering if something hit my head.

I continue, “That said, his presence is no guarantee against some of the creatures in that area, at least as far as I’ve heard. And there’s another problem.” Just the thought of mentioning it squeezes my chest and revolves in my stomach. “Marlak’s in danger. I don’t understand why, but I need to find that castle to save him. I know, it makes no sense, but the queen said magic was about feeling. This is what I’m feeling.”

I remember then my trip to the Krastel Castle. “I know you trusted me, then we ended up going to the human castle for no reason and faced dangers there.”

“Pfff.” Nelsin waves a hand. “Some human guards. Please. That’s nothing.”

“Agree,” Ferer says. “The human castle was a kid’s play. What made it tricky was that we didn’t want to kill those guards. Still, tricky is quite different from dangerous . And you found some information, Astra. Now, the Shadow Lands is a different story. Quite different.”

“I know, but I have a plan. My magic kept bloodpuppets away. Nelsin saw it. I’ll use it again, and I think it can keep dangerous creatures away from us. Am I completely sure? No. Now, as to waiting for Marlak; I don’t think we can. I’m positive that he’s in danger. What does it have to do with that castle? I don’t know, but I know I have to find it. If I wait for Marlak to return, I might wait forever. There’s a chance he’ll never come back.” My voice doesn’t even crack. It’s a truth I’ve felt for over a day now, that instead of terrifying me, pushes me into action.

Ferer and Nelsin stare at me, eyes wide. I’m wondering if they think I’m delusional, completely insane, or if they’re considering locking me up before I do something stupid.

“I have to find this castle,” I insist. “The Nymph Queen told me so, not exactly in these words, but said I had to find myself, and she was worried. I don’t expect you to go into the Shadow Lands with me. Just get me close enough.”

Ferer huffs. “You know we’d never abandon you or let you face dangers on your own. That’s not a possibility.”

“And yet what I’m asking you?—”

“Is not too much.” Ferer fists the table. “But we’ll leave right away and get out of there before the sun sets. Is that clear?”

“Unless we find the Amethyst Palace,” I say. “It would be safe at night.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I only see it at night, in my dreams. And before you say they’re only dreams, I used to dream about Marlak. I saw his chest scar and everything, and he’s real.”

Ferer leans forward. “Was he exactly like you dreamed? No difference at all?”

“He was. Is. It took me a while to realize it, but he’s the exact same person from my dreams.”

“And you think the palace will be the same?” he asks, an eyebrow raised.

I pause. “That one is more complicated. I’ve seen it in different conditions. Sometimes it’s safe and peaceful, sometimes abandoned, sometimes there’s something dangerous lurking in it, but even then, I felt I had to find it soon.”

Ferer and Nelsin look at each other, I suppose to decide what to do. Even if they’re no longer together, they still can communicate without words.

Nelsin turns to me. “I’ll come with you. First, I trust you. Second, I owe you my life. Ferer can stay.”

“What?” Ferer grimaces and turns to Nelsin. I’m assuming this was not what he got from their shared look. “You think I’d leave you both? I made an oath to protect her, and you…” He looks down, then turns to me. “I’ll come. But we’ll do everything we can to get out of there before night falls.”

“Unless we need to stay,” I say.

Ferer’s shoulders move up and down in a stressful deep breath. “We’ll see what happens. In principle, we’ll try to make sure we aren’t out in the open after the sun sets.”

I exhale. This was easier than I expected, and maybe I should have trusted them more. “Right. So what do we do now?”

“Get weapons and supplies.” Ferer points at me. “Wear the most comfortable shoes you can and clothes that will let you move easily, but long sleeves are preferred. Make sure you have pockets for daggers.”

I get up, almost astonished that they agreed so quickly, that we’re about to leave, perhaps even astonished that Ferer is taking the lead.

After I dress quickly, I meet them in the kitchen, and we leave. Nelsin helps me cross the river, and then the three of us use the faerie circle to transcend to some village in the north, close enough to the Shadow Lands.

I wish I had more certainty; a clear direction, a clear clue. Moving blindly into unknown, dangerous lands is terrifying, and yet if I wait for the way to be clear, I’ll never move. The only answer is to figure it out as I go, even if I understand so little of what I’m doing.

The circle where we transcend reminds me of the area where we met the Nameless, with a thick forest. I wonder if I’ll ever meet her again, if I’ll ever have the chance to ask the right questions. For now, it seems that I have to figure things out on my own.

At least I have two friends with me. Then again, it’s one more reason why I can’t fail.

Ferer points to a trail amidst thick vegetation and trees. “We’ll walk north from here. The Charmed River divides fae and Shadow Lands, but it is but a rivulet in this area and we might miss it. We’ll be in the Shadow Forest at any moment.” He looks at me. “Then I suppose it will be up to you.”

I feel as if a cold wind blows me from the inside. What am I supposed to do once we reach those lands? There’s still time for me to change my mind, to quit. We could try to get some maps of the area, maybe go to that sanctuary and find answers. I could ask the Nymph Queen, could even try to find the Nameless.

Part of me knows I’ll have no time for that. I’ll have to trust the light to guide me, trust it, and never falter.

I take a deep breath, then say, “Let’s go.”

My voice doesn’t waver, and neither will I.

TARLIA

I end up putting on a clean uniform Renel brings me, even if the fact that he’s bringing it to me makes me shudder. It’s as if he knows he’s setting a trap for my corniest feelings, for my most ridiculous delusions, so that he’ll have me within his grasp. The worst is that I’m not even sure if he needs any effort to trap me.

I’m such a sappy fool.

Tarlia, Tarlia, falling in love after one night. Really?

I don’t think it has happened before. I liked Fachin—I suppose. I’m not sure. And I liked Ziven, after many nights of doing nothing.

Liked.

The truth is a spear to my heart.

Liked. In the past.

The pretty false king really left an impression, I guess. But I hope it will pass.

When I open the door, he’s waiting for me.

“Is everything all right?” he asks.

“Should it be? Isn’t your castle about to self-destruct?”

He smiles. “I meant with you.” He looks at the uniform I’m wearing. “Does it fit?”

Why does he have to sound so concerned? It’s disconcerting. “It’s not like I have a bunch of choices. Better than being naked, don’t you think?”

“No.” He frowns. “I much prefer you naked.”

“Oh. Why didn’t you say so?” I undo the top button of my shirt and start undoing the next one.

He places a hand on top of mine. “Naked just for me. I find I’m more possessive than most fae.”

Strange words. Does he think he’ll keep me as his lover?

He smirks, then looks down at my body as if ready to undress me. “And while I’d love another dessert , we’d better leave this cursed place.”

He’s obviously thinking he’ll get to fuck me whenever he wishes. The worst is that I doubt I’d say no. I try to change the subject. “ This keep was our salvation. Other than Strawberry Cake. ”

“Cherry Cake.” He chuckles. “But I mean the Shadow Lands. Something’s wrong here. All those ghouls…”

“There shouldn’t be that many?”

“As far as I’ve heard, no, but then again, if anyone ever encountered a horde of ghouls like that, they would never live to tell their tale, would they?”

I laugh. “No. And if by any miracle they did tell, I doubt anyone would believe them. I barely believe we survived.”

“And yet we did.”

He stares at me with those magnificent dark eyes and makes me tremble from head to toe.

“We should leave.” I turn and head for the stairs.

“True.” He follows me.

I want to curse the moment I decided to have sex with him, curse every little pointless, unwished feelings coursing through my veins.

Lidiane comes out of the refectory and gives us a thin smile. “Ready to go?”

“More than ready,” I say.

She turns to Renel. “Where’s your grumpy guardian?”

“Upstairs, I suppose.” He turns to the building. “Azur! We’re leaving!”

“Are you, now?” Azur shouts from the balcony. “Unbelievable.”

“He is indeed grumpy.” I turn to Lidiane. “Did something happen?”

She shakes her head and rolls her eyes. “ Nothing happened.”

Nothing. Strange.

I don’t understand why she didn’t spend time with Azur and give her a questioning look. She waves a hand, and I suppose the explanation will come later. Despite her apparent cheerful disposition, there’s a certain sadness in her eyes. I wish I could talk to her, try to understand what’s wrong and support her, but I hear Azur approaching us, somehow wearing a brand-new hat.

“We have a long walk,” he says, his tone curt.

I want to smack his face for being such an ass to Lidiane.

“You don’t say.” I roll my eyes.

He glares at me, and I glare right back.

Renel stands by me and touches my arm. “Ready?”

I nod, and then he kisses my cheek. It’s so… sweet—and makes me uncomfortable, vulnerable, weak, as if I’m losing control.

We leave together, Renel walking beside me, Azur beside Lidiane, but at a huge distance, as if he wanted to avoid her or vice versa. The desert looks the same as yesterday, and yet I still tremble remembering what we faced at night—and during the day too. I hope we come across no more rats. My legs are trembling, still exhausted from the walk last night.

I wish I could collapse on a bed and sleep for five days straight—unless I could do something else in bed… Why even exhausted do I have to think about that? But then, Renel is walking beside me, his hair loose, slightly curled, and I can still remember our moments this morning, his touch, his words. Perhaps all that goo from the sleepy slug went into my head. That’s the only explanation.

I want to ask if the river is far, but of course it is. Two hours walking sounded like so little last night, and now it’s an eternity. A freaking eternity. And I can’t believe we ran as far as we did yesterday.

In front of me, Azur pauses. “Wait.”

He turns to Lidiane, who smiles. I realize her hair is moving slightly, as if caught by a strong breeze. Air magic.

“It’s back!” Her relief and her smile make her even prettier than usual, and the look she exchanges with Azur makes both of them seem like different people, especially him.

There’s wonder and love and joy and marvel on their faces. It’s obvious that whatever’s between them, runs deep. And yet, most of the time, all they do is scowl at each other. Odd.

Renel smiles. “Do you think you can transcend?”

Azur’s about to say something, but Lidiane’s faster. “Not a good idea. This place messes with our magic.”

“Was that what happened?” Renel frowns. “The Shadow Lands affected your powers?”

“I don’t know.” Azur shakes his head. “And it’s still quite weak. I’m not sure I’ll be able to transcend any time soon. Or ever.”

Renel shrugs. “It’s fine. We’ll find another solution.”

We get back to our steady pace. At least nobody suggests running. I hope I never have to run again.

After a long time, we come across a rivulet barely covering its stone bottom.

“Is this the river ?” I ask. “The important one?” I can’t imagine that this thin, shallow thing could contain ghouls or any of the other monsters we encountered.

“There’s magic in it,” Renel says. “Like the River of Tears.”

“That one’s deep,” I reply, not seeing any similarity. “Requires bridges.”

Lidiane turns to me and chuckles. “To be fair, not a lot of people live this far north in the fae lands. Perhaps they don’t trust the magic either.”

“I wouldn’t. But then, we saw what’s out there. I guess that changes us.”

Lidiane crouches to remove her shoes, then Azur says, “Wait.”

“What?” She frowns.

“I’ll carry you.” Azur manages to sound sweet.

“No.” She looks down at her shoes.

I guess they’re back to their mutual scowls.

“Fine, then.” He rushes across the river, his boots splashing water around him, then sends a gust of wind in our direction.

I’m thinking he’s planning on getting some revenge for his rejection, but instead, he lifts Lidiane.

“My magic’s back,” he says. “I can bring you across without touching you.”

“No!” she yells. “I’m perfectly capable of crossing this river. Save your magic. You’ll need it.”

“Magic is not wheat that you can just store,” he says, but puts her back on the ground, and she walks across.

I crouch to remove my shoes, and Renel crouches beside me. “I can carry you.”

“Why? We both have feet and legs.”

“We both have feet that might get wet and dirty, and if only one of us needs to do it, why not? I didn’t mean to imply you couldn’t cross a tiny rivulet.”

I smirk. “Why didn’t Azur offer to carry you? Isn’t he your guardian?”

“He protects my life, not my feet.”

“And you protect my feet?” I chuckle.

“No—but I’d like to.”

The image of being carried by the Crystal Court king, pretense king, or whatever, tickles a vain part of me.

See? I’m not nobody, I would say. Renel himself carried me. I’m so ridiculous sometimes.

I stand up. “Fine. Carry me if you wish.”

He throws me onto his back and crosses the river. I was expecting something more… careful, let’s say, but I suppose this can be etched in my mind to cheer me up in those days when I’m feeling too insignificant.

When we reach the other side, he sets me in front of him and doesn’t let go, holding me by my shoulders.

“Renel,” Azur says. “I think I can transcend.”

Renel doesn’t move his eyes away from me. “A moment,” he yells, then takes a deep breath.

I chuckle. “I know, I know. Goodbye. It was fun and all, and goodbye.”

He looks down. “Yes. And no. It’s not… I meant it when I said I wanted you to come with me, and that I’d give you all the dessert you want. I meant it. In fact, I couldn’t have said it if I didn’t mean it.”

His eyes look sad and apologetic and are making me anxious.

“It’s fine.”

“It’s anything but fine. I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I don’t want to see you in danger. Find your friend, find my brother, ask them to protect you. He’s been well-hidden for a long time. He can keep you safe too.”

I could protest that this would mean depending on a stranger’s goodwill, but going to the castle with Renel would be the same. I just nod.

He runs the back of a finger over my face so softly. “You made me forget my anguish, but this is not the time for forgetting; I have to face it. If I survive this, if I survive the castle and the Fiery Gorge, I’ll find you.”

His tone, his look, his gentleness are grabbing my heart—and squeezing it. And it hurts. It hurts to be trifled with. “Don’t make promises you don’t mean.”

“Tar, I’m fae. Words bind me. I’ll find you, and if you want me, we’ll see what happens.”

Both his hands are holding my face as if he’s trying to look at me one last time. I shouldn’t believe it, shouldn’t fall for his words, shouldn’t let my heart get into this, and yet, when I feel his lips touching mine, all my hesitations are gone.

I wrap my arms around him and kiss him back, as if I could capture his essence, his being in that kiss, as if I wanted to dissolve into him. I wish I could kiss him forever, stay in his arms forever, remain trapped in this infinite bliss.

My eyes are blurry and wet when we part, and he runs a finger to wipe away a tear from my face.

“It’s for the best, Tar. If Zorwal is dead, and I think he is, I still have to evacuate an entire city, and I don’t know what the council will do. I don’t know what will happen. If you’re there… I don’t even want to think what they could do to you. It’s a risk I can’t take. We might not see each other again, but when I die, it will have been worth it.”

“You can’t talk about death like that, as if it’s nothing.”

“All lives are precious, but death is coming for us all, and when it’s time, it’s time. I have to face it head on, and be the king my court needs.”

He kisses me again. A brief, soft kiss on my lips, then he takes my hand and kisses it.

All I want to do is cry. I don’t look when he turns to Azur and tells him they should go, don’t look when they disappear.

The truth of what I’m feeling is buried deep.

It hurts too much for me to admit it, so all that’s left is the enormous pain taking hold of my body.