Page 69

Chapter

Sixty-Six

T he number of guards in the courtyard seemed to have doubled during her absence, and she spent fifteen minutes explaining where she’d been before she was let through the gates.

Eyes trailed her the entire time she walked the path to the castle, as she ascended the stairs, and when she finally reached Loche’s room.

Lessia pulled at her tunic before she lifted her hand to knock on his door.

She almost wished he wouldn’t be there, but as soon as her knuckles touched the wood, the door flew open, and Loche’s shoulders seemed to drop an inch when his eyes locked with hers.

“Did you think I would run away again?” she tried to joke.

Neither of them smiled.

With a glance behind her, Loche grabbed her hand and pulled her inside, softly closing the door behind them.

She glanced around the room .

She hadn’t been here before, and she was surprised by how tidy it was.

A few books lay on a table by the window, and his sword, with polishing material beside it, lay on the bed. Clothing was folded atop a dresser by the fireplace, and several lanterns were placed around the room and in the windowsills.

Loche walked up to the bed, picked up the sword to lean it against the bed frame, and swiftly packed up the cleaning supplies. As he gestured for her to join him, he dragged a hand through his hair, and there were purple crescents under his eyes as he tracked her approach.

She sat down next to him, trying to keep some space between them, but the mattress was too soft, and soon his leg rested against hers. Glancing out the window at the clouds building over the sea, Lessia wrung her hands, unsure how to start this conversation.

“I’m sorry.” Loche shifted so he faced her, his bent leg still touching the side of hers. “I should have told you, but I realized immediately you weren’t involved, and I worried that if your reaction wasn’t real, others wouldn’t see it as clearly as I did.”

She searched his eyes, the cloudy gray mirroring the brewing storm outside, worry and caution simmering in them.

Lessia didn’t know why she trusted this man so easily, but she believed him.

And even if she hadn’t…

She needed him.

She drew a shallow breath. “I know. I understand why you did what you did.”

Loche nodded and placed a hand on her knee, his fingers absently drawing small circles that awoke that yearning in her veins again .

She pushed the thoughts aside. “You showed me that cave because you suspected something like this might happen.”

His jaw twitched. “Yes. I wasn’t sure who the spy was, but Zaddock told me that the guards who attacked you seemed to hesitate when they realized who you were. I guessed it must be someone close to you unless you were involved yourself.”

Unease roiled in her gut.

She hadn’t thought Zaddock noticed.

Swallowing, she gripped his distracting hand. “I need to get the children out of here.”

“They can go to Geyia and Steiner.”

She released a breath.

She had trusted that he would say that, but hearing it relieved some of the weight pressing on her chest.

Loche tugged on her hand until she moved closer, shifting her onto his lap.

“Amalise will be taken care of.” His eyes burned into hers, a flicker of pain shining in them. “Zaddock will also be banished, and he’s promised to ensure her safety.”

She stiffened in his arms. “Why?”

Loche offered her a sad smile. “You weren’t the only one who had to make an impossible choice.”

She was about to ask what his choice was, but the way his eyes trailed over her face, as if he was memorizing every single one of her features, told her everything she needed to know.

“It was me or him.”

Loche crushed her against his chest, his whisper barely audible. “If I won, I could banish either you or Zaddock. I couldn’t bear for it to be you. Not just for myself, but for you to once again not be welcome.”

A lump formed in her throat at the shudder that ran through him .

She couldn’t believe he’d chosen her over Zaddock.

She didn’t deserve it.

She’d need to leave anyway.

And Loche would have no one.

The guilt that overtook her nearly made her scream.

She wanted to crawl out of her own skin.

Erase the person she was and every action that had led her here.

Loche pulled back to look at her, a wrinkle forming over his brow. “It was my choice, Lessia. Do not carry my guilt.”

She huffed a breath.

It wasn’t his guilt to carry.

He didn’t even know.

But those invisible fingers had her in a death grip, and not a word left her lips to convince him to change his decision.

Loche’s hands stroked her back as she caught her breath, his eyes worryingly flitting between hers.

When she could finally speak again, she whispered, “What about Ardow?”

His eyes hardened. “He will be put on trial after the election. I will do my best to convince them not to execute him, but he will remain in the cellars, Lessia.”

Biting her lip, she just stared at him.

She couldn’t even nod.

Couldn’t tell him another lie.

“I should probably sleep,” she mumbled.

As she rose, Loche stood with her. “I’ll follow you back to your room. We don’t think Ardow and Venko worked alone. Someone else with intimate knowledge of the nominees and the election has been helping them.”

She was too tired to argue, so she let Loche take her hand and lead her back to the room .

Outside, he brushed his lips against hers, lingering for a moment, but she needed time alone.

Loche seemed to read her mind, and with a final kiss that, despite everything, made her skin tingle, he bid her good night.

When she walked inside, Merrick’s door was closed, and she thought for a moment to knock, but exhaustion swept through her.

Without even removing her clothing, she climbed into bed and fell asleep within seconds.