Page 47

Chapter

Forty-Six

A fter Merrick bid her good night, she stared up into the ceiling, the pain from her broken ribs and the memories she rarely spoke of keeping her awake.

She hadn’t meant to tell him, but the guilt he carried was mirrored inside her, and she didn’t wish that feeling upon anyone.

In Vastala it had taken her months to even dare interact with other children on the streets, as she’d been terrified she might hurt someone else.

Only by refusing to leave her alone had Kalia managed to break through the walls she’d put up.

As Lessia wrapped her arms around her broken body, another dry sob escaped her.

She missed Ardow, Amalise, Kalia, and the rest more than ever.

Ardow and Amalise were the only ones—outside Merrick now—who knew what she’d done, and they’d done everything in their power to convince her she wasn’t at fault.

Even though she was .

But perhaps if she could continue to save other children, save Ellow, she could redeem a small part of herself.

Do something good to make up for the horrible things she’d done.

Her door flew open, and Lessia straightened, clenching the blanket to hold back a cry at the pain in her ribs.

She wasn’t sure who she’d expected, but Ardow peeking his tan face through the opening wasn’t it. A small smile spread across her face, and she waved him in. “What are you doing here?”

Ardow grinned at her as he strode through the room, wearing a beautifully intricate green tunic and breeches in the same shade. “I heard you got yourself injured again, and I thought you might want some more fun company than the stiff people we encountered here last time.”

Reaching out her uninjured hand toward him, she rolled her eyes. “I had no part in getting myself injured, thank you very much. How did you hear about it, anyway? Does castle gossip truly spread that fast?”

Ardow sat down on the bed, taking her hand in his and squeezing.

“You know I have my sources.” He winked, but his smile fell when he searched her face and then shifted his gaze to her bandages. “You’re more hurt than I was informed.”

Nostrils flaring, he pulled at the blankets, revealing her bandaged chest.

“Those bastards,” he hissed. “This isn’t right, Lessia. This shouldn’t be allowed. This is everything that is wrong with our world.”

She made herself smile at him again, trying to keep the light atmosphere a little bit longer. “You know as well as I do that I’ll be healed in a few days. Perhaps the only perk of our Fae blood. So, who is this mystery informant? The secret lover you’ve yet to tell us about?”

Ardow’s face remained hardened with rage, but when she eyed him pleadingly, he let out a choked laugh.

She loved him for it.

Even if it didn’t reach his eyes.

“Perhaps, perhaps not.”

Sticking out her bottom lip, she pulled at his hand. “Come on, Ard. I probably must lie in bed for a few days. Give me something fun to think about.”

Ardow moved closer, wrapping his arm gently around her shoulders. “I can’t yet, Lessia. But he…”

His eyes widened, and Lessia giggled when his cheeks heated.

Groaning, Ardow leaned his head back on the wall.

She poked him in a burning cheek. “All right, you don’t have to tell me yet, but Amalise and I will want to meet him at some point, especially if he makes you blush like this.”

“I promise.” Ardow squeezed her shoulders. “Now tell me about you. Is the regent still giving you a hard time?”

It was Lessia’s turn to blush, and Ardow laughed when she playfully shoved his shoulder.

But when he eyed her, she realized he wanted an answer.

She shrugged. “I don’t know, Ard. He seems like a good person, but he is as hot as he is cold. He is extremely perceptive, and he seems to like playing on my emotions to figure me out.”

Ardow tensed, his smile falling off his face. “He doesn’t know about you, does he?”

Lessia shook her head. “But I am worried he might figure something out.”

Even though she couldn’t tell Loche even if she wanted to, she had a feeling he read way too much in her silence .

“Be careful, Lessia. While he might have done some good for Ellow, he is not a good man.” Ardow bore his eyes into hers. “You only have a few more weeks of this, and then you’re free. Be smart, and do not let emotions get in the way of what you’re doing.”

Frowning, she observed him.

A deep wrinkle lined his forehead when he stared back at her.

She tried for another smile. “There are no emotions involved.”

A knock at the door caused them both to turn toward it, and when Loche walked inside, Ardow shot her a stare.

“Am I interrupting something?” Loche’s jaw ticked as he stared at Ardow’s arm over her shoulders.

“No!”

Lessia snorted when she and Ardow spoke in unison.

But the laugh faded when Ardow’s face remained tight as he glanced from her to Loche.

“I was just leaving.” Ardow slowly got up, turning his back on Loche as he mouthed, “Be smart.”

A frown formed over her brow at the hardness in Ardow’s eyes as he spun around.

“Regent.” Ardow offered Loche a nod as he slipped out of the room.

She shifted her eyes back to Loche when the door closed behind Ardow.

He had a deep purple bruise over his cheek and a cut lip, and when he walked to pull up a chair to the bed, he limped slightly.

“Are you all right?” Lessia didn’t miss the slight wince that slipped across his features when he sat down.

Flicking his hair out of his face, he smirked. “Zaddock and I have had some disagreements the past few days. I believe he quite enjoyed himself today.”

His searing gaze swept over her body when she nodded, and Lessia pulled up the blanket when it lingered on the bandages over her tunic.

“How are you feeling?” His eyes softened when they met hers again.

“I’m fine. The broken bones will heal in a few days, probably faster than that cut on your lip.” She moved her gaze to the darkening evening outside when the air between them filled with crackling electricity.

It was a clear night, and the large moon was nearly full as it hung over the calm sea.

She wished she could open the doors to let the brisk air in and relieve some of the tension Loche had brought with him.

“The guards who did this to you are gone.”

She snapped her eyes back to his. “What do you mean, gone?”

“They will never bother you again. Nor will any others, unless they want me to pay them a visit.” Loche’s gaze refused to leave hers. “This isn’t what my Ellow stands for, Lessia. We do not mistreat anyone based on where they come from or what legacy they might bear.”

She tilted her head, her face pinching when pain stabbed through it. “I know you like to think so, but there is still a ways to go, Loche. You don’t think the election is the first time someone like me gets called names or is assaulted?”

Loche leaned forward to grasp her hand, the one without a broken finger, and his eyes clouded when a shiver ran through her.

“I know that now. If I win again, I’ll ensure that it never again happens. I promise you, I take this extremely seriously.”

She’d counted on it, but it was still nice to hear him say it, especially since there was no chance Venko or Craven would ever prioritize Fae concerns.

It was quiet for a moment, but as she cleared her throat to tell him they should probably sleep, Loche squeezed her hand. “Do you mind if I stay here for a bit?”

Her brows snapped together. “I thought you wanted me to stay away from you?”

The question came out softer than she’d meant, but she didn’t know what to do with all this buzzing energy or the unsettling intensity of his gaze as his gray eyes burned into hers.

Loche’s jaw clenched, and his eyes darted to the door for a moment before he sighed. “I never said I wanted you to. I said that you should stay away from me.”

“Why?” she whispered.

Something dangerously close to hope twisted in her chest, and a shadow of apprehension crept up on her.

She wasn’t sure if she wanted the answer.

Not when it wouldn’t be one she could keep to herself.

Not when anything he said would be relayed to her king.

“Why do I want to stay here? Or why should you stay away from me?”

Lessia swallowed, but she couldn’t stop herself from responding, “Both.”

Loche offered her a half smile. “I told you. I don’t share my secrets.”

Letting out a frustrated breath, she pulled her hand from his, annoyed at herself when a feeling of emptiness washed over her.

His eyes trailed her hand as she tucked it under the blanket. “Zaddock is in the room next to mine. I can’t promise I won’t beat him up if I go back right now. He took today’s trial a lot more seriously than he should have. ”

The air between them lightened, and she drew a deep breath when some of the tension rolling off him lessened.

Forcing her lips to curl into a smile, she joked, “You can’t handle that he roughed up your handsome face?”

Loche grinned, leaning back in the chair. “I was right.”

“About what?”

“You think I’m handsome.”

Groaning, she waved toward the couch. “Go sit over there before I kick you out.”

Loche laughed all the way to the couch, and he thankfully didn’t mention all the lit lanterns as Lessia shifted her gaze to the ceiling.

They talked for a while about the things Loche hoped to do for Ellow, and as Lessia’s eyelids grew heavy and she stopped asking questions, Loche continued telling her of the plans he had to ensure everyone would survive until summer.

As she listened to his deep voice, sleep came quickly.