Page 5

Chapter

Four

A fter helping her move the shelf back into place, Amalise waited at the bottom of the spiral staircase, one hand resting on the metal railing. As she approached her friend, Lessia cast a mournful glance over her shoulder.

She wished there was something more she could do for them.

Keeping them locked up like this drove even the calmest crazy some days.

But she’d brought them over illegally—hadn’t dared to risk that they’d be turned away at Ellow’s borders.

So they had to wait until they turned sixteen, when most folks in Ellow started to work, before they could be introduced into society, each with an individual backstory of how they’d ended up here.

“Don’t.”

Her eyes found Amalise’s, and Lessia frowned. “Don’t what?”

“Don’t feel guilty.” Amalise’s blue eyes held hers captive. “ You’ve done so much for them. This is more than they could ever ask for.”

Lessia shook her head. “Living like prisoners? Just because they have a bed and food doesn’t mean they’re free.”

“But they’re alive.” Amalise took a step toward her. “They get to live, Lessia.”

A shard of ice pierced her chest, and Lessia tore her eyes away, slamming a hand against the wall as she thought of the young girl who didn’t.

“You can’t blame yourself forever, Lessia.”

Amalise tried to put an arm around her shoulders, but Lessia shifted away.

She couldn’t stand the compassion when she was the one at fault.

She needed to do better by these children.

Give them the life another had been robbed of.

“You were a child, Lessia. It wasn’t your fault. You couldn’t have known,” Amalise pleaded.

“Please stop,” Lessia whispered. “I can’t think about this.”

“But you need to. At some point, you need to let it go. She’d want you to. We all know why you bring them over, and of course we support you. Gods, I’ve come to love those little bastards despite all the chaos they cause. But you need to see the good you’re doing!”

Lessia shook her head, her eyes following the swirling snow outside the rounded window beneath the stairs.

This burden was one she’d carry for however long she would live.

She could rescue every child in Havlands, and it wouldn’t be enough.

It would never be enough.

“Lessia.” Amalise reached out for her again, and this time, Lessia let her take her hand and pull her closer. “Please, you need to at least try. The darkness will consume the light you’ve created here if you don’t. That I can’t bear.”

She shifted her eyes to Amalise’s worried blues, trying to keep the hollowness that filled her out of her honey ones.

“I’ll try,” she said, although the emptiness of the promise echoed in her ears.

She could try all she liked.

But she’d never forgive herself for what she’d done.

Amalise raised a brow, and she forced a weak smile.

Her friend didn’t smile back. Instead, Amalise’s eyes bore into hers, her hand impatiently brushing a lock of hair out of Lessia’s face.

When Amalise’s mouth opened and closed a few times, Lessia braced herself. “Just ask.”

Her friend sucked in a breath. “What happened back at the tavern, Lia?”

Lessia opened her mouth to respond, groaning when the words she wanted to say stuck in her throat.

Gods, she hated that she couldn’t just tell her. It was exhausting trying to find ways around her king’s orders—devastating to see the look of disappointment in Amalise’s eyes, even as she knew Lessia couldn’t help it.

Throwing her head back, she stared at the metal beams lining the tall ceiling. The white paint around them was chipping—they’d need to get that fixed soon.

And given what Merrick had told her tonight…

Moving her gaze back to Amalise’s sharp eyes, she let out a soft breath. “You know how I told you there might be a time when I must leave for a while?”

Amalise’s brows pinched, but she nodded.

“I’m afraid that time might come sooner than I’d like.” She couldn’t help her face from scrunching up, the words coming out choppy as her throat thickened .

“Oh, Lia.” Amalise dragged her into her arms, and each held on tight to the other.

Pulling back, Lessia gave her a crooked smile. “We have tonight. I can’t say how much longer, but let’s not waste it.” She gently nudged her shoulder when Amalise’s gaze dropped to the floor. “You’re supposed to be the carefree one.”

Amalise shoved her back. “Not all of us can go around being all serious all the time. Honestly, I can never understand how the rest of Ellow doesn’t see through the disguise, see what a boring bastard you truly are.”

With a snort, Lessia dragged her up the stairs, where soft murmurs and the smell of liquor and arousal filled the air.

As they took the final step, Lessia tried to put the guilt and apprehension out of her mind. If this was truly her final night with her friends, she didn’t want to waste it giving them more reasons to worry.

Squeezing Amalise’s small hand, she lifted her gaze to the dimly lit sitting room.

Pellie straddled a soldier in one of the plush leather chairs before her, while another slowly stroked her back.

One of his hands wrapped in her copper hair, tilting her head so the soldier beneath her could kiss her neck.

Soria was nowhere to be seen, and Lessia realized two of the other soldiers must be with her.

With a wink, Amalise sidled up to the man she’d spent the evening with, taking the goblet he offered her and throwing it back.

Flashing him a seductive smile, she slipped her hand into his and pulled him toward her room.

But Lessia didn’t miss the glance she cast her way, the slight frown between her brows.

Swallowing, she walked up to Ardow and sat down on the arm of his chair .

“All good?” He raised a dark brow when she leaned back and a sigh escaped her.

“Yes, the papers were all in order.” Lessia kept her eyes on the room so as not to let him see the worry she was certain burned in them.

Two soldiers leaned against the wooden countertop before them. They took sips from cups of liquor in between spells of laughter, and when their smiles turned her way, the carefree expressions tugged at her heart.

She’d had that here.

Not often.

But there had been nights she’d forgotten all about the king, about what she’d left behind in Vastala, and had just been in the moment with her friends.

But now her time was up. She didn’t know what the king wanted, but it couldn’t be good. And she couldn’t risk bringing her friends into it.

Especially with the secret they harbored in the rooms beneath them.

Pellie waved goodbye as she dragged the soldiers down the stairs, no doubt bringing them to her apartment, and Lessia nodded at her before she disappeared.

Soria and Pellie were key to keeping up the appearance that all she and her friends did was drink and bring home different men—and sometimes women—to warm their beds.

While neither knew of the children or what truly went on in the warehouse, they were aware they were a distraction, and they made the most of it, both enjoying the freedom they’d been offered.

A few years ago, Lessia and Ardow had helped the sisters get away from their abusive mother and now paid for their apartments and living expenses. The sisters were clever enough not to ask any questions that might risk their newfound freedom, knowing there wouldn’t be any answers anyway.

Lessia remained quiet while Ardow and the soldiers talked, the men telling them of their lives in the navy. They’d been at sea the past three years, traveling between the human isles to ensure peace, but had been called back with the elections in Ellow coming up.

Lessia nodded. She hadn’t been here the past election, had only arrived right as it wrapped up. But she’d heard it could get intense.

When her eyelids fluttered, Ardow followed the soldiers to the door while she cleaned the dirty cups and wiped the spots on the counter where they’d spilled some of the liquor.

Leaning against the bar, she smiled at the scruffy leather chairs and the scarred wooden table before them—the first furniture they’d brought in here. She, Ardow, and Amalise had slept in those chairs, poor as ever, while they searched for the first place to open a tavern.

“You daydreaming over there, or did you fall asleep standing?” Ardow grinned at her from across the room, his arms folded over his chest as he leaned against the doorframe.

She smiled back at him.

He was devastatingly handsome, even with a slightly rumpled leather tunic and his dark hair tousled from him dragging his hands through it all night. With his muscled build, six-foot-two stature, and broad shoulders, he rarely had to fight for a man’s or woman’s attention when he wanted it.

Ardow wiggled his brows. “Admiring me?”

Rolling her eyes, she blew out the candle beside her and hurried to the door, where light trickled into the dark room. Ardow stepped aside to let her out, and she let out a breath when she left the darkness behind .

She winked. “Always.”

When she made to walk to her room, Ardow caught her hand, and she turned her head over her shoulder to look at him.

“You want company tonight?”

Lessia bit her lip. It had been a while since Ardow warmed her bed, but she was exhausted and confident she’d have nightmares after the meeting with Merrick.

Shaking her head, she said softly, “I think I just need to sleep.”

Ardow’s smile didn’t falter. He only nodded and kissed her cheek. “Good night, Lessia.”

Waving at him, she slipped into her room, making sure the fireplace was lit and lifting a lantern off the wall to bring inside before she closed the door behind her.