Page 131 of A Thousand Cuts

“It’s not your fault,” he said. “None of this is your fault. I’m the one who should be sorry. I’m the one who fucked up.”

“NO!” Liam said, eyes widening. “No, you did everything right. You saved me.”

“Not fast enough.” Fix’s voice broke. “You were fading in my arms and I couldn’t stop it. I didn’t know how to—”

“But you did. I’m…I’m still here.”

“Not all of you.” Fix’s eyes were still filled with misery. “Your magic is…”

Liam felt a chill wash over him at the words.

It hadn’t been just his imagination. He hadn’t been dreaming that he’d been the one making himself miserable for years.

“That was real too?” he asked quietly. “That I had magic? That I was doing it to myself?”

“I’m afraid so. It came from an emotional place as far as we can tell. Your curses intensified when you were feeling something intense. Fear, mostly, but good things too.”

“How could I have done this without knowing?” Liam asked, shaking his head. “I don’t understand, Fix. I thought…I thought I needed…tools and, and…things. That’s how casting works.”

“Tools and things are essential, yes,” Fix said, trying to ease the tension, but Liam could feel himself on the brink of a panic attack. “You were powerful enough to override that because you were never taught control. You were using everything around you to cast from. Everyday objects with magical properties. It’s why they were all nuisance curses and nothing else. Other curses require rare ingredients you didn’t have access to.”

“So…it’s just gonna keep happening?” Liam asked, his voice going high-pitched and breathy. “I’m just gonna keep doing this until I actually die?”

“No.” Fix grabbed his hands and steadied them in his lap. “I’m going to call Gwen in to explain all the details, but the gist of this is no, you are not dying. No, you will not be cursing yourself anymore. You are safe, Liam. Completely and absolutely safe.”

“But—”

“Do you trust me?”

Liam could feel how loaded the question was. Fix was blaming himself, torn by the fact that Liam had come so close to dying and questioning everything he thought he knew about himself.

“Yes, Daddy,” Liam said. “I trust you.”

He was rewarded by a slump of those broad shoulders and a smoothing of the crease between his thick brows. “I’ll call Gwen in. We have quite a bit to go over.”

Fix got up and called Gwen back into the room.

The blonde woman from before entered with him and approached Liam’s bed with an unreadable expression on her face. Liam pushed himself to sit up a little, edging back into the bed, not quite sure what to make of her.

King growled but didn’t move from his spot on his lap.

“Liam,” Fix said when they came to stand next to his bed, “this is Gwen, the headmistress of Nexus.”

“Hi,” he said quietly.

Her stoic face broke into a gentle smile. “Hello, Liam. It’s very nice to meet you.”

“I…I’m sorry for whatever drama I caused.”

“Not at all.” She shook her head. “Our job is to help people.”

“Thank you,” he murmured, embarrassment and anxiety crawling over his skin. “I just… I had no idea.”

“No, I don’t imagine you did, living the life you lived,” she said pointedly.

Liam gasped, too out of sorts to cover it up.

He turned terrified eyes to Fix, panic threatening to eat him alive. He was supposed to be the one to tell him. He wassupposed to be honest and open with Fix and tell him all his secrets. He wasn’t supposed to find out like this.