Page 6 of A Steadfast Heart (Wind River Mail-Order Brides #2)

“Y ou got a brother?” Tillie asked from the wagon bed, where she rode with her siblings. “What’s his name? When do we get to meet him?”

Kaitlyn’s head spun. Who knew such a little girl could have so many questions? She looked around for a distraction for the girl. The side street off Calvin’s main thoroughfare was lined with small bungalows and empty of town folk.

The wagon jolted as the wheel hit a low spot, sending her sliding across the seat before she could brace herself, and landing her against Drew’s strong shoulder. Again.

“Sorry,” she muttered as she moved back to a proper distance. Unlike her, he seemed to shift with the jolts of the wagon, never losing his balance.

At least, not physically.

She’d seen his shoulders droop a bit more every time David snubbed him on the trip to town.

Tillie grabbed Kaitlyn’s arm. “When we gonna get there?”

Kaitlyn gritted her teeth. It had to be the hundredth time the girl had asked during the long drive. She forced a smile. “Soon, Tillie. Soon.” It had to be soon, didn’t it? They’d reached the town, after all.

Drew pulled the team to a stop in front of a small house near the church and secured the reins. “Now, Tillie. We’re here now.”

“Yay!” Tillie stood in the wagon bed. “I want to go with you, Pa.”

“Nope. You stay with Kaitlyn.” Drew rubbed a hand across Tillie’s head, then climbed down from the wagon.

A man of few words, her soon-to-be husband.

Husband.

Her nerves hummed, and an itching sensation skittered across her skin. She didn’t know this man. He’d barely spoken on the trip to town, and yet his steadfast presence had been impossible to ignore.

She forced a deep breath, her mind racing back through the past twenty-four hours and stopping on the image of Drew at the table, his face buried in his work-roughened hands. Her next breath came easier. He worked hard and cared about his children. Both good recommendations.

She turned to David and Jo, who had ridden quietly in the back of the wagon. Too quietly. David looked somber, his arms draped to his sides and his attention focused on his father. Jo’s arms were crossed over her narrow chest, and she glared at Kaitlyn.

“What do you want to do while we’re in town, David?”

He shrugged, and Kaitlyn’s heart sank. The boy was hurting, and she didn’t know how to help.

“I want a candy stick.” Tillie danced in place, excited over the outing.

“Candy’s for babies. I want a new headband for Sunny’s bridle.” Jo stood in the wagon bed and leaned on the back of the seat, then backed away. Probably realized her enthusiasm had put her too close to enemy camp—Kaitlyn.

Tillie ignored Jo’s verbal jab, so Kaitlyn did too. All siblings snipped at each other. It was normal. Wasn’t it? But then, what did she know about normal sibling relationships?

The door to the house creaked open, and an older man stepped outside. Drew gestured toward the wagon, but Kaitlyn couldn’t hear what he was saying. The man’s eyebrows rose. He studied the wagon for a moment, then spoke earnestly to Drew. Drew nodded, then returned to the wagon. He extended a hand to Kaitlyn. “Pastor Carson said he’ll wed us now.”

Kaitlyn placed her hand in his. She had never thought her hands particularly delicate, but against his calloused palm, her hand appeared no larger than Tillie’s. Heat soaked through her glove and traveled straight to her heart. Doubtless, Drew only aided her descent out of good manners. He’d do the same for any woman. She pulled her hand from his and took a wobbly step. Her feet tingled and burned.

Drew’s eyes narrowed, and he retrieved her hand to carefully tuck it into the crook of his arm. When her next step faltered, his arm tightened, lending her his strength until she found her footing.

Her face heated. “I’m sorry. My legs seem to have deserted me.”

He smiled at her. Not a full smile, just a quirk of his lips, but it warmed his eyes from pewter to something closer to the dapple gray of the draft team pulling their wagon. “It was a long ride.”

He guided her to the boardwalk, then released her, but watched for a moment to make sure she was stable. Her heart lost its rhythm for just a moment. When was the last time someone had cared enough to help her find her footing?

Kindness is a part of our agreement. It’s a business arrangement, and I’d do well to remember that.

“Thank you. I’ve got my balance.”

He nodded once, then moved to the wagon bed to lift the kids out. Kaitlyn examined the boardwalk from one end to the other. No crowd walked her direction. No unease prickled the back of her neck. Any apprehension she felt arose solely from doubts about fulfilling her job, not from what her brother might do to her. For the first time since her father died, she felt free. In just a few minutes, Michael wouldn’t be able to touch her ever again.

She followed the short path that led to the pastor’s house, then entered. The inside felt dim until her eyes adjusted from the bright sunlight outside.

In moments, Mrs. Carson showed her to the parlor. Drew, the kids, and Pastor Carson entered soon after. The kids shed their coats and hung them on hooks by the door. Drew followed suit, leaving his hat as well.

Drew shifted to face her, and Kaitlyn had to swallow hard. He’d dressed up. Her gaze traveled from his white shirt and black vest that emphasized his broad shoulders to his well-shined boots and back to his dark hair that curled a bit at the back of his neck. But when her eyes caught his, he looked away, flushing. A muscle ticked in one cheek. What had she done wrong? Shouldn’t he want his bride to appreciate his efforts to dress up?

A rock formed in her stomach. What was she doing? He’d probably loved his first wife, and she’d left him. Maybe she’d had good reason. Kaitlyn should have kept running, found a job—anything other than marrying a stranger.

Drew tapped David’s hat, and the boy hurriedly placed it next to his father’s. He looked around to see if anyone had noticed his lapse, and Drew ran a comforting hand along his son’s back. David shrugged away. Tillie reached her hands up, and Drew stared at his son’s back for a long moment before looking to his youngest and slowly lifting her, pretending she had grown too heavy for him since yesterday.

His love for his children couldn’t be clearer.

The tightness in Kaitlyn’s chest eased. Drew needed her. The children needed her. Partnerships had thrived on less.

Drew had said little on the trip into town, but he showed no hesitancy as he crossed the room to stand next to her in front of the pastor. He took her hand, tucked it once again into the crook of his arm, and a sense of safety flooded her. He’d steadied her steps when her legs had protested the long wagon ride. Somehow, she knew he’d stand beside her come what may.

The pastor cleared his throat. “Dearly beloved, we are gathered here in the sight of God…”

Kaitlyn’s stomach squirmed. In the sight of God? How was it she had never listened to the words of a wedding ceremony? What would God think of the promises she was about to make?

Drew’s arm shifted, and she looked up to see a question in his eyes. Are you sure? they seemed to say, and the tightness in her chest relaxed just a bit. Besides, God was the one who had left her with Michael in the first place.

“Will you, Drew, take this woman, Kaitlyn, to be your wedded wife? Will you love her, comfort her, honor and keep her in sickness and in health; and forsaking all others, keep only unto her, so long as you both shall live?”

“I will.”

The certainty in his deep voice seeped into her soul. He was making those promises to her, no one else. Kaitlyn released the breath that had been stuck in her chest. So what if he’d told her he’d never love her, if he only wanted her to take care of his children? He still wanted her, Kaitlyn Montgomery.

“Will you, Kaitlyn, take this man, Drew, as your wedded husband? Will you love him, comfort him, honor and keep him in sickness and in health; and forsaking all others, keep only unto him, so long as you both shall live?”

As long as you both shall live.

The pastor’s words settled in her chest like a heavy weight. This was a life sentence. Her mind winced, then settled on the image of facing the same sentence with Brian in place of Drew. Michael would find her eventually. A marriage certificate was her only protection.

She forced a breath past the weight in her chest. “I will.”

“I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss your bride.”

Kaitlyn swallowed hard, then looked up to meet her new husband’s eyes. They hadn’t talked about this. What would he do?

“Kiss her, Pa.” Tillie clasped her hands in front of her, her eyes shining. David and Jo watched from nearby.

Kaitlyn’s heart thundered in her chest as Drew lowered his head. His hand still clasped hers. Kaitlyn twisted her free hand into her skirt. Drew’s lips barely grazed her cheek. As Drew let her go and turned away, expression inscrutable, Kaitlyn lifted one hand to the spot his lips had brushed. She felt as if his touch had been a red-hot branding iron.

She was still trying to catch her breath when Tillie wrapped her arms around Kaitlyn’s legs. “You’re my mama now.”

* * *

Drew led Jo and Tillie toward the lumberyard while David showed Kaitlyn to the telegraph office. His bride wanted to notify her lawyer of their wedding as soon as possible.

His bride.

He’d felt nauseated when her gaze had raked him head to foot, but then he’d caught uncertainty, not scorn in her eyes. Her hand had trembled when he’d tucked it into the crook of his arm, but she’d moved closer. Closer to the man she’d first seen covered in mud and muck. The man who couldn’t manage his kids.

The man Amanda had spurned.

The hitch in his chest had made it difficult to keep his voice steady as he spoke his vows.

Had he felt the same when he’d spoken vows to Amanda? He mostly remembered the overpowering scent of flowers and his own joy when she’d promised she’d never leave him.

Turned out she’d only meant for as long as circumstances went her way instead of for as long as they both should live.

His marriage to Kaitlyn was supposed to be a business arrangement, but when she’d looked at him with guileless eyes and promised to stay, he’d almost believed she’d meant the vows she’d spoken.

Luckily, he’d regained his senses before he’d actually kissed her.

“We don’t need a new ma.”

Drew started, then spun to face his middle child. She’d stepped off the boardwalk into the lumberyard while he wasn’t watching.

Jo glared at him, her arms crossed over her chest. “Well, we don’t!”

Her glare faltered for a moment, and something else flickered through her expression. Fear? Hurt? If he knew the answer to that, maybe he wouldn’t need Kaitlyn. But would she be able to interpret Jo’s expressions any better?

He gently took Jo’s shoulder. “Follow right behind me. A lumberyard can be a dangerous place.”

Tillie slipped her hand from his and raced toward a butterfly. He caught her within a couple of steps and swept her up against his shoulder. Best not to trust her to her own feet.

He crossed the yard, moving through stacks of green-cut wood, checking behind him to make sure Jo was following.

She glared at him. “I’m not a baby. I know how to follow you.”

He entered the office. Mark Haskin sat at his desk, eyeing the mounds of paper that covered the surface. It looked a lot like Drew’s desk at home.

“Got a minute, Mark?” Drew set Tillie on her feet.

“Glad to take one.” The man ran a hand through his salt-and-pepper hair. “I didn’t start this business so I could spend my days moving papers from one pile to another.”

“I hear you.” Drew eyed Tillie, then Jo. “Stay inside the building, girls.”

“What can I do for you, Drew?” Mark waved to a chair across from his desk, and Drew sat down.

“I need to put up a small cabin on my brother’s homestead. I’m looking to trade for the lumber—a butchered cow.” Drew forced his hands to still. Bartering was a perfectly acceptable alternative to cash. “What do you think?”

Mark sighed. “Wish I could do that, but…”

Drew tried to ignore the heat that swept the back of his neck. “I could work a couple days a week. Or sign a note. I’m good for it.”

“I know you are.” Mark’s gaze held compassion. Or was it pity? “I just can’t do any credit right now, and I barely have enough work to keep my current men busy.”

Drew shoved his fisted hands into his pockets. It had been a long shot, but he had hoped. He’d just have to sell the bull quickly. The best place to get leads on a buyer was the general store. “I appreciate your time. Let me know if you need more workers.”

He stepped from the office and replaced his hat. If he was lucky, it would hide the heat in his cheeks. He took Tillie’s hand and signaled Jo to follow, then he crossed to the boardwalk, where David and Kaitlyn waited for him. “Get your telegram sent?”

She nodded but didn’t quite meet his eyes. Her hands twisted in her skirt, and roses bloomed in her cheeks.

The memory of their wedding kiss roared back through his mind. Except it hadn’t been a kiss. Would never be a kiss.

“I need to pick up some supplies.” His voice sounded gruff, even to his own ears. He cleared his throat and eyed the tweed traveling dress she still wore instead of Amanda’s old things. If those wouldn’t work, they’d have to find substitutes. “We’ll try to find you a couple of dresses and some shoes as well.”

“My shoes are still in good shape.”

“Shoes that work on eastern sidewalks can cause problems here.”

She took a deep breath, her hands fingering the hem of her jacket and her eyes still refusing to meet his own. “I looked through the dresses in the bureau. They’re too big, but I could alter them, if you don’t mind, um, seeing them.”

Relief flooded him. She needed both clothes and shoes, and he needed to save every penny he could for his brothers’ homes. Amanda had never worn a hand-me-down in her life. When Kaitlyn had appeared in her own dress, he’d assumed she felt the same. She kept surprising him.

“That would help out.” Was that gravelly voice his? He took her arm and guided her into the shoe section of the general store. “Kids, you can look around, but don’t touch anything.”

Jo and Tillie shot to the exact places he would have expected. Jo to the horse tack and Tillie to the candy. Neither was touching anything, so he’d count that as a victory.

David surprised him. He moved to the boys’ clothing. Drew’s heart squeezed. The boy needed new pants so badly. Since Kaitlyn was remaking Amanda’s dresses, maybe they could afford a single pair.

Mr. Thomas was tied up at the counter, filling orders for a customer, and three more waited in line. Plus, several people searched the store for items on their own lists. He’d better help Kaitlyn, or no telling how long it would take to get out of here. Or how much trouble his kids would find in the meantime.

He took Kaitlyn’s arm. “Let me see your shoes.”

She glanced around the store, her cheeks rosy red. “I couldn’t.”

“No one will see but me, and I am your husband, after all.”

Her eyes flew to his. “But we’re…”

Sleeping in different rooms . He could easily finish her thought. His own cheeks warmed, but her embarrassment had to be more intense. Best he play things down. “Yep, we are. And will. Still means I’m allowed to see your ankles.”

She looked around again, then lifted her skirt high enough for him to see the tops of her shoes.

Tillie joined them and tugged at the bottom of his coat. “I told you, Pa. Her shoes aren’t glass.”

Nope. Definitely not glass. But they might as well be, so far as practicality went. Okay, the heels were only a couple of inches high, but they were so narrow. And how on earth did she fasten them without a buttonhook?

Kaitlyn dropped her skirt back to the floor, looking around to see if anyone had heard Tillie’s comment. She sank into the chair set out for people trying on boots.

“Tillie, go find your brother.”

Tillie trudged off. Drew glanced over the women’s boots. “What size?”

“Five.” Kaitlyn’s voice was low.

He found a size five in a simple lace-up leather boot. “Here, try these.”

She didn’t move to take them. He smothered a groan. She probably thought they were beneath her, but she had to have them. Or something like them. Too bad Merritt was busy teaching. She could probably explain it better.

He held them closer to her. “I know they aren’t fashionable, but you need them.”

“You don’t understand.” Her voice was pitched so low he barely heard her.

He squatted beside her. “Explain it to me.”

Her voice lowered further. “I, um, can’t get to my shoes easily.” She looked everywhere but at him. She hugged herself, trying to disappear. “And I didn’t bring my buttonhook.”

His mind flashed back to watching Amanda with her shoes. Long skirts and corsets made it difficult to reach them. She had usually removed her shoes after her dress. Certainly not an option here.

His collar felt as if it had shrunk two sizes in the last thirty seconds, but he ignored it. The more matter-of-fact he appeared, the easier this would be for Kaitlyn. Right now, she looked like she’d spent hours over a hot stove. In July. With the windows closed.

He cleared his throat. “Since you appear to have misplaced your lady’s maid, I’ll be your buttonhook.”

“I didn’t have a lady’s maid.”

Kaitlyn’s family had enough money for a lawyer but not a lady’s maid? What kind of family did she come from?

He shook his head. He’d probably never know. “We can’t exchange sizes easily. You have to try them on.”

She hesitated, then nodded.

He knelt in front of her and brought her foot toward him, a cloud of ruffles following his movement. The hem of her petticoat brushed his hand. He quickly undid the shoe fastenings, then slid it from her foot. His fingers brushed against her lace stockings, warm from contact with her skin. Her foot jerked in his hand. He released it.

Jo marched up to them. “Pa! Tillie’s touching all the candy.”

That was all he needed. Being forced to pay for damaged merchandise. “Tell her to keep her hands to herself. And go help David watch her.”

Drew reached for Kaitlyn’s other shoe and undid the buttons. This time he carefully kept his hands on leather as he slid it off. It didn’t keep his fingers from remembering the texture of lace.

“Mrs. Tyler’s cat had kittens.” Jo couldn’t have gone to the front of the store and returned so quickly. “Can we take one home?”

“We have kittens at home.” He glanced up in time to catch his daughter’s quick smirk. “Go help your brother. I mean it, Jo.”

His daughter muttered as she walked away.

He helped Kaitlyn into the new pair of boots. After he tied them, he backed away. “You can wear them in the store to check the fit.”

She nodded, then walked quickly toward the back of the store. He moved to the front, resisting the urge to rub his fingers against his pants. It probably wouldn’t wipe away the airy texture of lace anyway.

He needed a distraction.

He handed Mr. Thomas his list of supplies, then glanced around to locate his kids. Tillie and David still stood by the candy shelves. Could he afford three candy sticks? He shook his head. No, not unless the bull brought a great price.

Where was Jo? He finally spotted Kaitlyn and his older daughter looking at the horse tack. What had she said? That her horse’s bridle needed a repair? He scrubbed a hand across his face. No money for leather. And Kaitlyn’s boots weren’t cheap. He’d better skip the new pants for David.

But at least the kids weren’t making a mess.

Drew joined the men gathered around the wood stove. One of them looked up at him. “Heard you got news, McGraw.”

Drew forced a smile. Much as he needed to discuss his bull, he’d have to give the gossip mill a misdirection first. “It took a long time, but Kaitlyn finally got here. We got married this morning.”

“Congratulations.”

“Glad to hear it.”

“Great news!”

After a flurry of back slaps and handshakes, Drew held his hands toward the warmth from the stove. “Hear about anyone looking for a bull this year?”

The men looked at each other, shaking their heads. Bob Phillips looked back to Drew. “You might talk to Quade. He’s about the only man buying right now.”

Quade was buying all right, but not from the McGraws. Unless it was their entire ranch for sale. Drew forced his hands to relax. Why could nothing be easy?

Kaitlyn came back to stand beside him, but with a good foot or more between them. One of the men’s eyes narrowed. Drew’s stomach dropped. He was going to have to do something if he didn’t want questions circulating about them. He offered her his arm, and she moved closer to rest her hand at his elbow. Her tiny hand. He shook his head. Focus, McGraw.

“Gentlemen, I’d like to introduce my wife, Kaitlyn McGraw.” He placed his other hand over hers. “Kaitlyn, these are some of your new neighbors: Tom Fisher, Bob Phillips, and Charles Hastings.”

Kaitlyn smiled at the men. “It’s so nice to meet you.”

The silence stretched for a beat too long before Bob managed a simple “Likewise, I’m sure.” The other two looked thunderstruck. Drew scowled at them. They acted as if they’d never seen a pretty woman.

Kaitlyn’s grip on his arm tightened. “I think the wagon is loaded,” she said softly.

He squeezed her hand gently. “Good to hear. It’s a long ride home.”

Home. He was taking his wife home.

He shook his head, trying to clear his mind.

No. It was a business arrangement. She got a safe place to stay, and he got a tutor for his kids. That was all.

He insisted that Tillie ride in the back of the wagon on the way home. All three kids fell asleep before they reached the halfway point. No surprise, really. Chores started early on a ranch, and the sun was setting.

Kaitlyn laid her hand on his arm, its heat soaking through her gloves and his coat. She bit her lip, then released it. “I heard you trying to sell your bull.”

If she’d heard him mention it, she’d heard that no one had accepted his offer. How could he have been so mistaken about that bull? He’d been sure it would improve his herd.

She bit her lip. “Word will get around. I’m sure someone needs a new bull.”

She was probably worried. Best not to feed her fear. He forced his tense muscles to relax. “Time will tell.”

“You’re doing a good job, you know.”

He jerked his arm from under her hand. He didn’t need false praise. “Glad you can tell, seeing as how you’ve been here all of two days.”

“It doesn’t take long to see how much the kids love you.”

Yeah, well, love was the easy part. Food and clothes and holding on to the family land was much harder, and he was failing a little more every day.