Page 12 of A Steadfast Heart (Wind River Mail-Order Brides #2)

D rew pushed the door open farther. Kaitlyn’s clothes were scattered across the bed.

His pulse pounded in his ears.

She’d really fooled him. He’d thought she was different. A muscle twitched in his jaw as he brushed past her to stand between her and the open trunk. He forced himself to pull in air, the cool May breeze feeling like cut glass as it passed into his chest.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

She looked at him, her eyes blank, expressionless.

“There’s a little girl out there crying because you’re packing.”

Kaitlyn’s face paled, and she shrank in on herself, but then she squared her shoulders and walked to the other side of the bed. Good. At least she’d have to reach over the lid of the trunk from that side. He turned to face her, the bed and trunk between them.

She picked up a dress and bunched it up, then pulled it to her chest like a shield. “I need to borrow your trunk. I’ll see that you get it back.”

He gritted his teeth, forcing words from behind them. “What are you doing?”

She leaned over to fold the dress, hiding her expression from him. “Leaving.”

“Do you even care what this will do to Tillie?”

Her shoulders twitched, but she didn’t answer, didn’t look up. A tear slipped down her cheek.

He paused. That didn’t make sense. If she wanted to leave, why was she crying? “Why, Kaitlyn? Why are you packing?”

She shook her head, keeping her face tilted downward. Everything inside him tensed, sharpened. He needed to see her eyes. “What did the marshal say?”

Another tear slid down her cheek.

“Kaitlyn, sweetheart?—”

She looked up, and his blood froze in his veins. Her tear-streaked face was white, her gaze bright with fear.

“Tell me what’s wrong. Please, sweetheart. I need to know.”

“I can’t.” She turned the trunk to face her and picked up another dress. Her hands shook as she folded it, or attempted to fold it. When she placed it in the trunk, it sprawled across the open space.

“You have to. Have you thought about what your leaving will do to Tillie?” He strode around the bed, then paused. She was afraid. He didn’t want to scare her more. He took her hands and gently pulled her toward him. A shudder shook her.

She met his gaze. More tears joined the first. “You don’t understand.”

“Then explain it.”

She took a deep breath. “It’s my brother. It always is. My own personal nemesis.”

He wiped a tear from her face. She stilled, but didn’t pull away. “And Danna, I’d guess, since she was here. What did she say?”

“Michael sent a telegram. To her office. He knows where I am. He knows about you. And probably the kids.” She bit her lip, slipped away from him, and reached down to drop a folded dress into the trunk. If only her hands would quit shaking.

He took the dress out, dropped it back on the bed. It landed in disarray. Good. That would slow down her packing. He caught her hands in his, then closed the trunk. “You’re not leaving. We’re facing this together. You might as well tell me. I can always ride into town and find out myself.”

She sighed. “It said I wasn’t in my right mind, that I couldn’t have agreed to marriage. That you coerced me into marriage.”

“Coerced?” Drew’s brows furrowed.

“And the town knows what the wire said.”

A tingle ran down his back. He needed the town’s goodwill if they were going to help him prove up Ed’s homestead. He shook his head. Coercion was just too far-fetched. “Knowing he said it and believing it are two different things.”

She pulled her hands from his, then opened the trunk. “You don’t understand my brother. He always finds a way to get what he wants.”

The tingle along his spine chilled. Kaitlyn had chosen to face a three-day trip on a train to a place she didn’t know to marry a man she’d never met. She didn’t give into fear easy. “Give me an example.”

She spun back around, and the hope in her eyes nearly did him in. Had no one ever asked so simple a question? He swept the trunk and clothing out of the way and sat on the mattress, pulling her to sit next to him.

“You know he wanted me to marry his friend.”

Drew nodded.

“It was the same man I hid from when I was sixteen.” She pressed a fist against her mouth, then lowered it. “Brian bought up Michael’s gambling debts, promised he would forgive them the day we wed.”

Drew bit back a curse. “He’d sell his sister for the price of debts he ran up himself?”

She nodded, yet another tremor passing through her. How much of her life had she spent in fear of her brother? “Has he always been this way?”

She tilted her head, considering. “He was twelve and I was six when I caught him laughing while he whipped my pony.” She shuddered and her eyes filled with tears. “Blood ran down poor Buttercup’s flanks.” Her gaze hardened. “I tackled him and took the whip away.”

“You were Tillie’s age? You shouldn’t have been able to do that.”

She bit her lip, tears welling in her eyes. “He had heard our father just outside. When Father came in, I was holding the whip.”

Drew swept her into a hug. Her chest jerked as she sobbed. He ran his hand along her spine, up and down. “Did your father believe him?”

“I d-don’t think so. But he p-punished me anyway, because the schoolmaster for Michael’s new school was there. He didn’t want Michael to l-lose his place. That’s when I figured out I was just a convenience to them. A tool to use and then cast aside.”

Drew tightened his hug, careful not to squeeze too hard. “No one is disposable. Certainly not you.” She felt so tiny in his arms, yet she’d faced a lifetime of trials and still found ways to see the positive. She had steel in her backbone. If only he could shield her from the memories, but hiding them hadn’t helped her. He needed to know the whole of the story if he was going to keep her safe. “What happened to the inheritance?”

She pulled back from his chest and looked up at him. “He’s my half-brother. He has spent our father’s legacy. The money that’s left came to me from my mother, not his. But I only got an allowance until I turned twenty-five. Unless I married.”

“I see.” And he did. The whole sordid tale rooted in jealousy and greed. He tilted his head, different scenarios running through his mind. “I don’t see much he can do now that we’re married.”

Her lips trembled. “I thought I could help here. That the money would finally do something good. Buy lumber for your homesteads. Secure David, Jo, and Tillie’s future. My own as well, for that matter. But my inheritance is just as much a curse as it has always been.”

He pulled her close again. He should have already had the homestead ready to prove up instead of giving her something else to worry about. “Funding the homesteads isn’t your job.” He ran a hand gently along her back. “Much as it would hurt my pride, I would probably have accepted money from you, if you could spare it. But it isn’t worth your safety or your happiness. If letting him hang on to it keeps him in Missouri, let him have it.”

She shook her head, her face rubbing against his chest, the heat of her tears soaking through the thin fabric of his shirt. “My mother left it to me, not Michael. And—I love this ranch.”

His hand stilled on her back. She loved it here?

“Besides, it wouldn’t be enough, not if he thinks he can have the money and his debts wiped away too. I don’t know how he’ll do it, but he will. Nothing ever stops him.”

She pulled away from Drew and ran her hand across her wet cheeks, then crammed the unfolded dress back into the trunk. “If he comes here, I won’t be the only one to suffer. He’ll ruin you as well. I can’t let that happen. You m-matter too much.”

I matter too much?

Shock weakened his grip on her. He couldn’t move, could barely breathe. She had no place to go, no money to get there, and she was willing to risk leaving to keep him safe?

His eyes squeezed closed, and he let her go. That was why she was leaving? Emotion crashed through him, shaking him.

He was the oldest brother, had always protected everyone else, and this tiny woman planned to stand between him and her brother. His throat felt thick with all the emotions he didn’t have words for.

She wasn’t looking at him. “I hope you don’t mind me taking the dresses I’ve altered.”

She was still planning to leave. Frightened of what her brother might do to her, but terrified of what he might do to those around her. It was way past time someone fought for her. He ran his hand across her back, the calico fabric of her dress soft under his fingers. “You’re my wife. Stay, and we’ll face this together.”

Her face tilted up so she could meet his gaze, her hands resting on his chest. She licked her lips. “But, Drew…”

“No buts. You’re my wife.” Her face tilted just so, her lips moist and inviting, the weight of her hands against his heart—it was all too much. He lowered his head, his lips brushing hers. He tasted the salt of her tears. Tears she’d shed out of fear for him and his family. Her lips were so soft. Her hands moved, slid low on his back. She hadn’t pushed him away. Her lips moved against his—gentle, innocent. Their heat felt branded against his, but he had to pull back. Kisses weren’t in their bargain.

But he’d be willing to change the terms if she was.

He drew back slowly. Her eyes were dazed, and he ran a finger along her lips. So soft. He’d never thought he could trust a woman again, never thought he’d find a woman who loved the ranch. He’d given up looking. And yet, here she was. He stepped back, and his arms felt empty. “We’ll deal with Michael together. If he comes here, you won’t face him alone. I’ll stay right with you, protect you.” He ran his knuckles along her cheek. “We’ll focus on the homesteads first, since we can’t do much about your brother until he gets here. If he gets here.”

Kaitlyn glanced up at him, then dropped her gaze. Her cheeks flushed. “He’s my half-brother. And he’ll come.”

“Half-brother. I’ll remember that.”

Clanging sounded through the door. He sighed. “Sounds like Jo’s in the kitchen. I’d better go check on her.” He moved to the door, then glanced over his shoulder. Kaitlyn hadn’t moved, hadn’t put anything else in the trunk. She’d been crying at the thought of leaving. Unlike Amanda, who’d cried at the thought of staying. Maybe friendship wasn’t a bad addition to their deal after all.

* * *

Kaitlyn’s head still throbbed, even though it had been a couple of hours since her bout of tears. Now everyone was crowded around the dinner table. Several of the brothers had glanced her way questioningly. Maybe the cold water she’d washed with hadn’t erased all the puffiness.

Her stew could have used a little more seasoning, but nobody else seemed to notice. Tillie sat next to her, Ed on his niece’s other side.

“My meat’s too big.”

Kaitlyn must’ve winced at the whine in Tillie’s voice. Ed looked her way, but she just didn’t have the energy to move. He pulled Tillie’s plate in front of him and cut the meat, then handed it back to her.

Without Tillie’s usual cheerful chatter, the meal felt quiet.

David scanned the table, his expression unsure. “The calves out on the range are looking good. Even the white calf is putting on weight. I think she’s gonna make it.”

His voice was steady, not gloating, but Jo bristled anyway. “You saw Daisy, and I got stuck with stupid laundry.”

“You’ll go tomorrow.” David placed a hand on her shoulder, but she shrugged away from it.

Drew cleared his throat. “Jo, I’ve had enough of your attitude today. Apologize to your brother.”

Jo’s shoulders slumped. “Sorry,” she muttered.

What had Jo done? Kaitlyn looked at him, tilted her head questioningly. He shook his head slightly, then tapped the pocket where his father’s watch resided. Kaitlyn found the energy to smile at him. Message received. He’d tell her later. One side of his mouth quirked.

His mouth. She raised a hand to her own lips, which still tingled when she thought of the last moments in her room. He’d kissed her, held her, comforted her. And said he’d remember that Michael was her half-brother, as if he knew it mattered to her.

Ed pushed back his plate and looked her way. “Why’d the marshal come out?”

“She brought me a message from town.” The words flowed as smoothly as they had when Kaitlyn had practiced them earlier.

“Must have been some message, to be worth the trip. Who sent—” Ed stopped abruptly, looking in Drew’s direction. “Never mind.”

Kaitlyn looked at her husband, caught the glare he’d sent to his brother.

Jo snickered. “She said Kaitlyn’s in trouble.”

Drew caught his daughter’s eye. “Jo, that’s enough.”

“Well, she did. Didn’t she Kaitlyn?”

Kaitlyn bit her lip. How little of the story could she get away with? She met Jo’s challenging gaze. “Not in the way you think, Jo. There is trouble, but not between me and the law.”

“You don’t have to leave, do you?” Tillie’s whining tone increased, and tears seemed imminent.

“Everyone leaves, Tillie. You’re just too much of a baby to know it.”

Tillie pushed her chair back, the legs scraping against the floor. She jumped down, an elbow nearly knocking over her water glass. She climbed into Kaitlyn’s lap and dissolved into tears. Kaitlyn rubbed her back as she wept. Ed, Nick, and David gathered dishes and carried them into the kitchen. Happy for an excuse to avoid the drama, no doubt. Drew stood and signaled Jo to join him on the porch. Kaitlyn’s hand paused on Tillie’s back. She’d never seen that expression on Drew’s face before. Stricken? Guilty?

He crossed the parlor and exited through the front door. Jo followed, her steps lagging.

Tillie’s tears slowed, and she pulled back from Kaitlyn. “I d-don’t want you to go! You’re my mama now. Mamas aren’t s’posed to leave.”

Tillie’s dark eyes seemed so trusting. A tear spilled down her plump cheek and seared Kaitlyn’s heart. She pulled Tillie closer. If Kaitlyn left, would the little girl understand how much she’d wanted to stay? Or would Jo’s words continue to sow bitterness?

Michael had already shown his hand. He was coming to Wyoming. The only question that remained was what to do about it. But right now, Tillie needed her. “I know you don’t, sweet pea. I don’t either, but sometimes we have to do things we don’t want to do.”

“Now?” Tillie’s voice broke on the word.

Tillie had already lost one mother. Amanda had been trying to take the girls from their father when she died, and the family hadn’t been the same since. Kaitlyn couldn’t stand to add to that wound. “No matter what, there’s one thing you need to know. It isn’t your fault. There are grown-up things going on, but they have nothing to do with you.”

Tillie nodded, but doubt lingered in her eyes. Kaitlyn wiped tears off Tillie’s cheeks, then stilled and laid her hand against the little girl’s forehead. It was hot. Kaitlyn’s stomach clenched. No wonder Tillie was emotional.

“Are you feeling okay, little one?” Kaitlyn brushed the hair from Tillie’s cheek.

Tillie shook her head. “My throat hurts.”

A fever and a sore throat? What if it was scarlet fever? Or diphtheria? Did they need to find a doctor?

Kaitlyn forced her breathing to calm. Tillie was whining, but she still seemed mostly normal. Drew would know what to do. “Let’s go talk to your father for a minute.”

David returned to the dining room, carrying a rag to wipe the table.

Kaitlyn laid her hand against Tillie’s cheek. Was it warmer than just a minute ago? She signaled David to come closer. “Get some washcloths and wet them with cool water from the well. Then come to the porch.” The boy nodded and closed the door.

Kaitlyn struggled to her feet with Tillie in her arms, then carried the child through the living room and opened the front door. Drew and Jo sat on the top step. Jo’s head was bowed and her shoulders were slumped.

“I know I’ve said that.” Drew’s voice was serious. “But not everyone leaves. I won’t leave you, not ever. Family sticks. And if Kaitlyn does leave, it isn’t because of you.”

Kaitlyn would have flinched if her arms weren’t full of Tillie. She’d known her leaving would hurt Tillie, but David and Jo as well? Could Michael do any more harm to this family than she already had? She took in a steadying breath. Best if she didn’t appear to be eavesdropping. Kaitlyn stepped onto the porch, her tread intentionally loud. “Tillie’s running a fever, Drew.”

Drew stood and signaled Kaitlyn to move closer. “Bring her this way.”

Tillie looked at Jo, then shook her head and slipped from Kaitlyn’s grasp. “I can walk. I’m not a baby, no matter what she says.” She sat on the lower step, away from Jo.

Drew sat next to her and placed a hand on her forehead. “Not feeling good, punkin?”

Tillie leaned against her father and shook her head.

Kaitlyn took the seat next to Jo. Drew and Tillie turned to face them. She carefully focused on Tillie, but after the whispers at the church picnic, Jo needed to hear her story too. “I have a brother who called me names, Tillie. In fact, he did a lot worse than that. If I leave, it won’t be because of you. It will be because of him.”

“What’d he do?” Tillie moved into her lap, always happy for a story and a cuddle.

David stepped onto the porch and handed Kaitlyn a washrag. She smiled her thanks and ran it over Tillie’s forehead and around her neck.

Jo sneered. “He probably called you ugly or something.”

“You’re not ugly. He’s ugly for saying it.” Tillie’s thumb settled into her mouth. They’d have to break that habit someday, but not right now.

“That’s what I wanted to tell you. If someone says something mean to you, you don’t have to listen. You can choose who you listen to. I had to choose to ignore what my brother said. Instead, I listened to my mother and my teachers.” She grinned. “I have to admit, they did sometimes point out a mistake I made. But their goal was to make me better, not to tear me down.”

And somehow that intention had always come through. Could she pass on that gift? She tightened her grip on Tillie. “Tillie, you always want to help. That makes you a good friend.”

“Me?”

Kaitlyn nodded. “You.”

“Pa, I’m a good friend.”

Drew nodded. He blinked a few times. “That you are, sweet pea.”

Kaitlyn looked up at David, leaning against the doorjamb. “David, you have your father’s way with animals. They respond to your combination of gentleness and firmness.”

David blushed and looked away, but not before she saw his smile.

She turned to Jo. “Jo, your determination is going to take you far in life. Once you make up your mind, you don’t let anything stop you.”

Jo didn’t smile, but her posture softened the tiniest bit. Kaitlyn would have to accept that.

This is your family.

The words whispered through her heart and settled into her soul. She couldn’t leave them. They needed her, and she needed them. She eyed her husband. Yes, husband. If that moment in her room hadn’t settled that fact, what would? “Drew, did you mean what you said earlier?”

He met her gaze, his expression determined. “Every word.” His voice settled a little deeper than normal.

How to warn the kids but keep it child friendly? “My brother’s name is Michael, and if he ever comes here, I want you to find your father or one of your uncles immediately. He’s cruel. He was mean to our animals and said I’d done it. He’d be mean to you too.”

Drew’s gaze warmed, and he reached for one of her hands. “Does that mean…”

She smiled at him, nodded slightly. Then she turned Tillie to face her. “Ask me again, Tillie.”

“Huh?” The little girl’s eyes showed her confusion.

“You asked me an important question before we came out here. Ask me again.”

Tillie’s gaze cleared. “Are you leaving us?”

“No, Tillie. I’m staying.”