Page 19 of A Steadfast Heart (Wind River Mail-Order Brides #2)

D rew buried his head in his hands, the stingy mattress on the jail cell cot feeling like it was stuffed with rocks. The echo of Quade’s boots had barely faded.

Everything had gone wrong. Ed’s homestead. Without it, they couldn’t support the herd.

Kaitlyn.

She’d left.

Mistake .

Air wheezed into his chest. He wanted to curl into a ball on the cot, but that would require moving. He didn’t have the energy. Or the willpower. Or something.

Except he couldn’t give up. The kids needed him. He forced himself to his feet and closer to the cell bars. “Wallace, where are my children?”

The deputy’s face whitened. “You don’t know?”

Fury surged through Drew. “You arrested their father and uncles, escorted their stepmother to the train, and didn’t even stop to think about where they were?” He gripped the bars, his knuckles white. He wanted to shake them, kick them, reach through them and shake the deputy who hadn’t given a thought to his kids. None of that would get them help faster. “You need to let me out.” The words were gritted out between clenched teeth. “I have to find them.”

Ed joined him, close enough to the bars for his belt buckle to clink against them. “Didn’t you hear the threat to our homestead? What if the children are there when they burn the house?”

Uncertainty flashed across the young deputy’s face before his expression hardened into determination. “I can’t let you out, but as soon as my backup gets here, we’ll round up men to find the children. Besides, the only thing that might have been a threat came from Riley, and he’s in the next cell.”

“Yeah, McGraw. What threat am I, behind bars like this?” Riley snickered. “Not like I can tell my friends to burn anything.”

Drew didn’t move. Oh, he heard the emphasis Duncan placed on the word I . But why respond to a taunting implication when he already recognized the danger? Quade would send his men to Ed’s place soon. Drew couldn’t stop it.

Please, God, let it be soon, before my kids get there. Don’t let Isaac try to stop it. Not by himself. Just help him protect the kids .

Where were his children? Not on the train, or Wallace would have told him. Surely.

No, they were in town. Somewhere. A neighbor would keep them safe. Physically, anyway. They had to be frightened. Barclay, Merritt, Pastor Carson—someone would protect them.

But it was his job, and he wasn’t doing it. One more failure.

Someone sat beside him. “I don’t understand it.” Nick’s voice sounded the same as when he hadn’t been able to solve a math problem back in school. The wooden bed frame creaked as he leaned back against the wall. “Why would she go with him?”

Because the ranch wasn’t enough.

And neither was he.

The door from the street creaked open, and footsteps rushed across the floor. Light footsteps. Children’s footsteps?

He looked up. Merritt was closing the door halfway, letting some air into the stale jail. Tillie rushed to the cell bars, tears streaking her face.

Drew sagged against the cell bars. They were safe. He blinked a few times.

Tillie placed her hands on the bars, but didn’t quite manage to meet his eyes. Drew summoned his own smile and held his hand through the bars for her to take. “It’s gonna be okay, princess.”

“But Pa, Kaitlyn’s the princess, and she’s gone.”

“We’ll be okay without her.” And they would. Eventually.

Jo moved closer. He looked at his middle daughter and his heart missed a beat. Or several. Jo’s eyes were red. She’d been crying. Jo never cried. And he was stuck in here where he couldn’t help.

“We’re not the ones in danger, Pa.” Jo’s voice wavered. More tears streamed down her face, and her shoulders hitched with a partially swallowed sob.

Someone in danger? David? Drew quickly looked around. No, there was his son, standing next to Merritt. David wouldn’t meet Drew’s eyes, and he shifted his weight restlessly from one foot to the other, but he was safe. Drew signaled Merritt to move closer.

“Pa, you gotta listen!” Jo shouted the words, if a sob-drenched voice could be said to shout.

“Tell me, Jo.” He ran his hand along her head, and the tears she’d been fighting won. Tillie’s knees folded and she sank to the floor, but Jo still stood. She’d be better able to explain. “Deep breaths, Jo, in and out.”

Conchas chuckled. “Look, he even has to tell them how to breathe.”

Wallace glared at the cowhand. “That’s enough out of you. Silence, or I’ll make sure you stay a few days longer.” Then he stopped next to Jo and put a hand under her elbow. “You can lean on me, iffen you need to.”

Fire returned to Jo’s eyes. “Ain’t you the one who put my Pa in there? I reckon you done helped enough!” Tears still ran down her cheeks, but her voice was steadier.

Wallace stepped back from her, his expression set and his legs planted wide. “You can stay a few more minutes, then you gotta go. This ain’t no hotel.”

Drew laid a hand on Jo’s shoulder. “Tell me what happened, Jo.”

“Kaitlyn s-saved us, P-Pa.”

What?

Jo’s neck worked as she swallowed another sob. “A b-bad man had a g-gun. He grabbed Tillie. Kaitlyn plowed into him, t-told us to run. B-but she didn’t get away.”

“What if he shoots her?” Tillie wailed.

A gun. Anger ran like fire through his veins. Someone had pointed a gun at Kaitlyn. His Kaitlyn. His wife. Drew glared at Wallace. “You said there wasn’t a gun.”

The deputy’s brow furrowed. “There wasn’t. And I took her several yards from her brother. Plenty far enough for her to feel safe. Be safe.”

Drew shook his head, his mind racing. Wallace was right. Except…He sorted and discarded possibilities until…“Were the kids nearby when you found them?”

Wallace shook his head.

“So he had plenty of time to threaten the children before you got there.”

Jo stepped closer to him, her breath shuddering in and out. “Why’d she do that, Pa? Go with him so we’d be safe.”

Because she cared more about their safety than her own. But Jo needed to come to that conclusion on her own.

“Why do you think?” he asked his middle daughter.

One more tear ran down Jo’s cheek. “’Cause she loves us.”

Drew nodded, the certainty flowing soul-deep. Kaitlyn loved those kids. Enough to sacrifice herself for them. He thought back over her message to him. Mistake. She loved him enough to use the one word sure to push him away, to make sure he focused on the kids.

Maybe even to protect him.

His shoulders shook. She loved him enough to put herself into the hands of a madman, just so he would be safe. How could he have doubted her?

David moved next to his sisters. “What’re we gonna do, Pa? I couldn’t save her. I tried, but I couldn’t…”

“David, you did good. You’re growing into a man that folks can depend on. But you’re not a man yet, and no one expects you to be. As for what we’re going to do? Wallace here is going to let us out of this cell, and we’re going to rescue my wife.”

“Who says I’m letting you out?” Wallace puffed his chest out and raised his chin.

“I do.” Danna slid through the half-open door. Her voice had Wallace whirling to face her. “Or at least, I probably will, once I have a few answers.”

She turned to the McGraws. “I heard the children. Seems like you have a few problems. Kaitlyn’s brother came to town?”

“Yes, and he has her.”

She tapped her fingers on her thigh. “And why are you a guest of my fine establishment?”

Riley leaped to his feet. “Why don’t you ask us that?”

The rest of Quade’s men added their thoughts to the commotion. Then Ed and Nick joined in.

Danna demanded silence and then signaled Drew to continue. He quickly filled her in about the scuffle caused by both groups supposedly thinking they were protecting Kaitlyn. He promised to return in time to face any charges brought if she would release him to find his wife.

In a matter of moments, the McGraws were out of their cell. Wallace returned the guns he’d taken from them.

Drew turned to his cousin. “Merritt, can you keep the kids?”

Merritt agreed.

Danna led the way out of the jail. “The train pulled out quite a while ago. I’m going to send telegrams to the sheriff’s offices along the railway. No way you can catch up.”

How long had Kaitlyn already spent with Michael? Two hours? More? She’d have new bruises, no doubt. But Michael couldn’t shoot her. Not in front of a train full of witnesses. “She’ll get off the train somehow. I’ve got to be there when she does.” He swallowed hard. Away from the train, it’d be easier for her brother to get her by herself. He had to find her before that happened. He never should have doubted her.

Ed stepped up next to Drew, Nick close behind. “ We’ve got to be there, Drew. Not you. We.”

We . What a beautiful word. The bands around Drew’s chest relaxed a fraction to allow a slightly deeper breath. He wasn’t in this alone.

Maybe he never had been.

* * *

It was hopeless.

A porter passed by their seat, but Kaitlyn didn’t try to catch his eye. What was the point? He wouldn’t believe her. No one ever had.

No one except Drew.

Yeah, and look how that’d ended. Kaitlyn closed her mind to the still, small voice she had begun to think she could trust. Look where trust had gotten her.

Michael nudged her shoulder.

She didn’t look away from the sun-drenched prairie outside the window. It was easier to pretend she was free if she couldn’t see him. Imagining herself far away had saved her sanity when he’d locked her in the storage room back home.

A clatter drew her attention to the seat across the aisle. The boy had dropped his toy soldier. He picked it up and hugged it to himself, just like Tillie had hugged her doll. Jo and David had loved the bridles she’d brought, and Drew had loved his hats.

He’d worn the dark Stetson while he’d worked on Ed’s cabin, at least until the sun had gone down. When she’d asked him to stop and eat, he’d said this was going to be a new chapter in the McGraw family legacy. He couldn’t give up. McGraws didn’t quit.

McGraw. Drew had given her a new name.

She was a McGraw. Drew never gave up. She couldn’t either.

But she’d have to wait for her opportunity.

The car swayed, and Kaitlyn brushed against Michael. Hard to ignore him when he sat so close. Her stomach complained, since she’d missed lunch. Michael hadn’t brought any food with them. Dinner was a long time away. She settled in to wait. It wasn’t the first time she’d gone without. Probably wouldn’t be the last.

Her brother shifted again, then eased his pistol into his coat pocket and poked her with the barrel. “If you weren’t so valuable, I’d take care of you right here.” He snickered. “At least you’ve caused me the last trouble you ever will. Brian is just the man to teach a woman how to behave. I’m looking forward to watching.”

Kaitlyn glared at him. “What will you do when you go into debt all over again with no sister to sell off?”

He poked her with the gun barrel harder. “Shut up.”

She turned her back to him.

The porter came through again. “Next stop, Blackthorn. Blackthorn, ten minutes.”

She didn’t take her eyes from the window but felt someone’s gaze on her. A man’s reflection flashed across the window. She glanced over her shoulder. The man who had been a few seats behind them had moved across the aisle to be behind the mother and little boy. He’d looked puzzled in the brief moment a trick of the changing light allowed his image to be seen. Inwardly, she shrugged. She’d never understood her brother either.

The constant bumping emphasized another need. She was going to have to find a toilet.

And wasn’t Michael going to love that. Still, he could hardly keep her chained to his side for the entire three-day trip. Could that be her chance?

She nudged his arm. “I need the lavatory.”

“Hold it.”

“It’s a three-day trip, Michael. I’m going to need the water closet before we get back to St. Louis.” So would he, for that matter, but she’d hardly gain points by pointing it out.

She met his narrowed gaze easily. She’d had a lot of practice. Finally, he stood and gestured for her to precede him toward the back of the car.

Her pulse raced, and her mouth dried. She walked slowly, trying to see everything without moving her head. Eventually, Michael would get less vigilant with her restroom breaks. She’d need to be ready.

Or could this be her chance? The train’s sway would make his balance uncertain. Could she take advantage of that?

The man who’d been watching cleared his throat as they walked by, but she ignored him. Even if he wanted to help, he’d only get a bullet for his trouble. With all the potential witnesses in front of them and facing forward, Michael could spin any story he wanted. He probably wouldn’t even be arrested.

They reached the back of the car, and Michael opened a door. Kaitlyn glanced inside, then tried to step back. This was a small office, probably for the mail clerk. Hands centered on her back and gave a hard shove. Pain flared through her knees as she hit the floor. Michael slammed the door behind her.

No windows. The darkness swallowed her. Her breath came in pants. She stifled the sob that wanted to escape. The walls closed in around her, and her stomach lurched. There was no way out. There never had been. She’d been lying to herself, and in the process had torn down a good man and his family.

The air grew heavy, suffocating.

Breathe, Kaitlyn. It felt like inhaling syrup. Breathe in. Breathe out. She started the chant that had gotten her through years of confined spaces, but her lungs refused to respond.

She was going to die here. Tears ran down her cheeks.

The train whistle split the air, and the clickety-clack of the wheels slowed.

Kaitlyn curled into a ball, pulling her knees to her chest. No one would help her. She didn’t matter. She never had.

You matter to me, daughter.

Kaitlyn stilled. Images of Drew flooded her mind. Family sticks , he’d told Jo. That was what a father was supposed to do.

God would do more. So much more.

Maybe God hadn’t forgotten her when He’d left her with Michael. He’d eventually led her to Drew. Kaitlyn gathered every scrap of faith she could find in her soul.

What do I do?

Trust. And don’t quit.

The train slowed more. They were approaching a town. Maybe someone could hear her. “Help me. Someone help me.” She pounded on the wall, kicked it, anything to make noise. Someone had to hear her. “Please, someone help me.”

A voice responded. One from inside the car. “Mister, I don’t think she wants to be in there.”

The other passenger. God had put him there. She pounded again. “Please help me.”

Michael spoke, but she couldn’t understand his words. Not over the pounding of her own heart. “Help me. Please help me.”

The sounds of a scuffle echoed through Kaitlyn’s prison. She pushed against the door.

It moved.

Her brother was out there. He might catch her again. He might hurt her more. Might even kill her.

She left the storeroom. She might die, but Michael didn’t control her anymore.

She mattered.

She swept the train car in a glance. Her brother had backed the stranger toward the front of the car. The stranger caught her eye, then gave the slightest nod toward the exit. The rocking of the car was so slight that they must be entering a station. She could survive a jump at this speed.

She slipped through the exit onto the end platform. The wind plastered her skirt to her legs. The train was moving slowly but hadn’t stopped. The station was so close, with the town beyond it. She shook her head. That would be the first place Michael would look.

She turned the other direction and launched herself off the platform.