Page 55 of A Rising Hope (The Freckled Fate #3)

55

OREST

“ F uck.” I sprinted up the spiral staircase, pushing soldiers out of my way. My heart loudly thudded against my chest, drumming in sync with each step as I flew through the halls and corridors. Saliva in my mouth turned bitter as my thoughts raced.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!

I reached the top of the attic, the rusty lock on the old door was freshly broken. I followed a small trail of dirt and blood leading through the cramped room stuffed with old décor and furniture.

I slowed down to a quiet predatorial prowl when I saw her.

“I am not going to jump,” Zora nonchalantly proclaimed without turning to see me.

She stood barefoot on the narrow window seal. Broken glass was scattered behind her from the window she had shattered.

“Hard to believe that, considering where you are standing, Zorianna.” I kept my voice steady, in spite of the tremor I felt in my limbs.

If I could get just a few feet closer . . .

“My mother jumped.”

“I know that.”

“It was an ugly day finding her splattered against the cobbled courtyard of our home,” Zora stated, her eyes glued to the unkept courtyard three stories below. “I remember seeing her disheveled face, her lifeless stare into nothingness . . . ” Her hair was down, swaying from the small gust of wind this high up.

“Then why come here?” I asked, trying to keep her distracted, as I took a silent calculated step closer.

“I am not sure. At first I just wanted to see how it’d feel, to stand here on the verge of life and death.”

“And the last battle wasn’t enough of life and death for you?” I snarled, taking another step closer.

“No, there on the field I was prepared to die. I should’ve died then. Now? Now, it’s a possibility but not inevitable.” She let go of the corners of the window frame above her. Her figure swayed with a blast of wind before she steadied herself against the frame once more. “There is nothing quite like walking on the razor’s blade edge between life and death. Leaving it all up to luck. Shall I live or shall I die?” She tucked a loose piece of hair behind her ear. “A thrilling chase worthy of the Numb descent. You know,” she cackled, a cold, unnatural sound. “I forgot just how numbing the Numb truly is. It’s been years, years since I’ve felt its iron hold on me.” Her face changed to a vicious frown. “Feelings are gone, and yet memories aren’t.” She balanced on one foot. “At least not yet.”

I evened out my breaths, calm and calculated, even though desperate rage burned hot within me. I didn’t dare blink. My eyes stuck to her figure, fire crackling at my fingertips, ready to lash out.

“Take a step back, Zora,” I ordered.

“That’s easy enough. If you don’t want me to jump, then make it stop.” She turned around, content to see the sliver of dread etched on my face. “Erase my memory and I won’t jump.”

“You know I can’t.”

“Oh, but we both know you are the only one who actually can. Erase my memories, Orest. Make me a fucking vegetable or I’ll do it myself right now,” she threatened. “Make the pain go away. You know I won’t survive it. Not the jump, not the Numb . . . not the grief.” She nudged closer to the edge, her glossy eyes locked on mine. “So, pick your vice, Orest, save me by using those little tricks of yours, making me forget my own name and letting me live in pure bliss or . . . ” She balanced on her tippy toes. “I’ll fucking do it my way, just like my mother did.” The wind shook her body, and my stomach twisted. “I know that you know I am not lying. So choose your next words wisely. You only get one chance.”

“No,” I objected. But before she could say another word, I lunged for her.

But she jumped, throwing herself off the peak of the roof.

Without any hesitation, I leaped after her.

I roared as agonizing pain rippled through every cell in body as my wounded shoulder jerked out of its socket with a loud pop, but I only tightened my grip. Broken glass tore into my palm as I held on to the shattered window with one hand and to Zora with the other.

My muscles trembled. I grounded my teeth into dust, using every ounce of strength I could find as I lifted both of us up. I swung our bodies wide, creating enough momentum to throw her back into the attic, before crawling through the window myself.

Zora didn’t fight me. Clarity of the kind that arrives when Death knocks on your door lined her face. But even now, the Numb hadn’t loosened its hold.

“If you weren’t going to erase my memories, then you should’ve at least let me die,” she grumbled, squaring her shoulders.

“Have you lost your fucking mind, Zora?” I whispered into the dark stuffy attic, climbing back to my feet. She watched me get up, scoffing at me before she twisted on her feet, taking a step away.

But she could not walk away from me now.

Not any fucking more.

I grabbed her wrist, jerking her body back to mine, pushing her tight figure against the stacked wooden trunks.

“You want me to erase your fucking memories, Zora? Is that it?” I growled, overpowering her. She looked away, and I jerked her chin up, my fingers digging into her cheeks. I lowered my head closer to hers until our eyes met. And I let her see the true monster hidden underneath. I let her see who I truly was. “Do you think I’d stop there? Do you think I’d let you free of my hold after my powers taste the serenity of your thoughts? Do you know how easy it’d be for me to make you mine? To enslave your body and soul at the will of my thought.” My voice was nothing more than a guttural brush of a whisper, and yet she trembled under its sound. “A single thought and I could make you worship me like no god has ever been worshiped.” Our jagged breaths dangerously intertwined. She jerked her face out of my hold, but I did not let go, forcing her to look at me. “Look, Zora. Do you not fucking see the complete obsession I have with you? Every power, every thought in my mind is infatuated with you. There is no end to the desire I have for you, Zorianna. I crave you more than life or death itself.”

Her throat bobbed as she swallowed hard, and I wanted to sink my teeth into her tender flesh.

“Do you not see the monster that I am, Zora? I am no honorable valiant knight. Every fucking inch of my body, my mind, my soul is corrupted. You ask me to erase a memory, but there would be no end to it. My powers would devour every single piece of you, gorging themselves until your existence is woven into mine. The sheer pull I feel towards you makes me question my own fucking sanity each time I am near you. The chains and shackles I restrain myself in, forcing myself to comply with reason, knowing full well that when it comes to you, I fucking have none.”

“So leave then,” she barked.

I let out a tight scoff at her words. Her eyes darted between mine, daring me.

I brushed my lips against hers, savoring the wicked taste.

“You push me, and I come crawling back like a starved dog every single fucking time. You destroy me and I fucking ask for more. You torment me and I call you my salvation. Oh, how I wish for nothing more than to feel the redemption of your love. I would trade the very last ounce of my soul to the most wicked of demons for a glimpse of the world where happiness exists for us, Zora.” My thumb brushed the bottom of her lip. “But I live in this world, where my affection, my devotion to you is treated with so little regard that you mock it, casting it to the winds for a cheap truth telling trick.” A deep frown etched on my lips as I watched her soul buried deep behind the glossy wall of the Numb. “But I am a monster and a selfish one, for I’d rather you destroy me than for me to lose my most prized possession.”

I lowered my lips to hers, but I didn’t kiss them. No, instead I let the treacherous words spew out of me like poison.

“Zorianna Thynirite, you are hereby declared guilty of treason for the attempted murder of a high-ranking commander in the Destroyer’s army. You are stripped of your duties and you have lost your command. You are placed under arrest, to be imprisoned until the final verdict for your crime has been decided.”

“Orest—” Her eyes widened at my declaration.

I took a step back, forcing my heart to beat, my chest to rise. My flames roped around her body.

“Guards!” I shouted down the hall until two soldiers tumbled in, unsure. The looks on their faces caught between surprise and confusion. “Take her to the cellar and lock her up,” I snarled viciously, wiping away a stream of fresh blood that trickled from my nose. The soldiers nodded, reaching for Zora.

“You can’t do that! You will fucking regret this!” She fought against their hold, screaming at me as I followed them, watching her being dragged down the stairs. “I am your Commander! I demand you stop and release me!” She barked at the soldiers, but with their heads slumped, they executed my command, taking her to the lowest levels of the vast old building.

The ceiling of the cellar was too low, I could not stand up straight. I ducked my head, lighting up a small fire.

“There.” I pointed to a small iron door. My fiery ropes illuminated Zora’s look of utter loathing at my voice, at my presence. Her face radiating pure hatred as she fought against my hold. But Zora’s magic was no match for mine, with her blades gone and her shields exhausted, there wasn’t much she, or anyone else for that matter, could do to stop me.

The cold chamber was nothing but a hole dug out of the dirt, creating a narrow, sloped room, no light, no windows—a living grave. I scanned the space, looking for any potential danger to her; reassured that there was little she could use to harm herself, I signaled to the soldiers, and they forced her in, closing the iron door behind her.

There were no locks, no keys to the rusty door, so I did the only thing I could think of and I welded the metal hinges shut.

“Bastard! I will never forgive you for this!” Zora pounded against the door. Each sound a dagger in my heart, but I stood firm. I stood tall.

“Go,” I directed to the soldiers, and they hastily left.

“I’ll never forgive you for this, you hear me?! I will hate you for all of your existence for this!” she shouted, like a wild animal entrapped and wounded.

“Good. I hope you do, Zora.” I stayed near the door, agony blinding me, her screams deafening me. “I hope you hate me with every inch of your being,” I snarled back through the barred opening at the top of her door. And I meant every fucking word. I hoped she’d hate me. I hoped she’d loath me, be abhorred by even the notion of me. Because if she did, it’d mean she’d feel something. It’d mean she clawed herself back to reality from the Numb.

And if my affections were not enough of an anchor for her to hang on to, then I truly hoped her hatred would be.

Zora’s violent shouts paused for a moment.

“You are wretched, Orest, that is why I could never truly love you,” she spewed the hateful words.

“Then so be it. Love is too honorable of a feeling for what I truly desire,” I replied.

“Not everything is about you, Orest.”

“No, but it is about you.” I stared at the iron door, my mind slipping into the abyss, the darkness coating the only reprieve I felt. “Look around Zora. Look at what’s left of us. Our armies are destroyed. The ashes of those we’ve lost will stain the air we breathe for generations to come. There isn’t a single soul that isn’t wounded. The Ten, or what’s left of them, are nothing more than carrion. Half of my battalion commanders are yet to be found, and the amount of bodies we must burn by tomorrow morning will be insufferable. We were at the mercy of the fucking elves, Zora. We survived, but we were defeated. We lost .” My vision blacked, chest caving in as I looked beyond the small bars. “And yet, I find myself here, near you. Buried in the depths of utter hell, searching for an absolution.”

Zora didn’t reply. The silence like a chasm grew wider and deeper between us.

I took a step away towards the narrow hallway.

My feet froze on the threshold, each muscle protesting, refusing to leave her there.

“Goodbye, Zora,” I said over my shoulder, letting my fires burn out, taking away the last flicker of light, leaving her in complete darkness.

I marched through the chateau, blinded and defeated by the broken rage within.

I wasn’t sure where I walked to. My legs just carried my body. My thoughts whipped my bleeding soul without mercy. Like a curse, Zora’s words replayed in my head again and again until I couldn’t bear it anymore.

My body crumbled, and I fell to my knees. My face hit the harsh, unkempt stone of the courtyard. The oxygen in my lungs was dangerously tight, my skin prickled as if covered in a thousand needles. The armor I was still wearing felt was suffocating on me, the iron weight now more like a coffin, burying me alive.

But I couldn’t get up. I couldn’t move even a single finger.

I couldn’t even utter a word, as I laid flat against the ground, convulsing.

My body shook violently. Bile seeped out of my tight lips; my jaw clenched shut.

But I welcomed the agony.

I welcomed the destruction, succumbing to its alluring call.