Page 23 of A Rising Hope (The Freckled Fate #3)

23

FINNLEAH

I t took all the strength I had to focus on the words that poured out of Godric; to make my ears listen to the treacherous sounds. My chest rose in uneven breaths. My blood curled.

“He is not coming back, Finn. He can’t. In order to imprison the Queen, he had to be inside the shields when he used his blood magic to raise them. And the only way to make it work was to get you out of there while he imprisoned himself and the Queen in her castle, away from everyone forever,” Godric stated plainly, like what he was saying wasn’t earth shattering. Like the words that rippled from his mouth were just another mere fact. Another sad statement of the flow of nature.

He is not coming back.

His words tore through me like a whip.

He is not coming back.

The weight of the world fell on my chest, and air wheezed from my lungs.

“But . . . ” The words jumbled in my brain as a flood of emotions suffocated me. I didn’t remember standing up, but I found my feet pacing across the room. My hands pushed the hair caked with blood out of my face. “But . . . you don’t understand . . . None of you understand . . . Fuck . . . I have visions . . . In my visions . . . and the Queen . . . the arrow . . . the Death . . . ” I twisted on my heels, facing him as my eyes widened and my mind conjured the only coherent sentence. “Godric, the Queen, she kills him. He dies !” I pleaded with him, silently begging him for help, while devastation ran violently rampant through me. “We have to free him!”

“It’s done, Finn. We cannot save him,” he refused.

“Whatever magic you used to get me here. Use it again! Get me there.” Godric didn’t move. He wouldn’t even try. “ Now , damn it!” I commanded, not hiding the utter heartbreak and panic stirring in me.

But I was hit with the sudden coldness in him.

“He will die!” My voice cracked; brows furrowed. It was as if he didn’t hear me.

Gideon will die.

The realization hit me a moment too late.

Godric already knew that fact. Was prepared for it.

My mouth dropped open in disbelief.

I shook my head. Refusing to accept it. But the sharp silence grew heavier, my knees wobbled, and I grabbed on to the back of the oak kitchen chair to keep me from falling.

“It was Gideon’s blood magic combined with my powers that allowed us to open the portal between spaces. He could make a bridge between the drop of your blood that he had and your actual presence,” Godric explained. “As a strong Healer, I could enhance his powers, but I myself cannot do what he does.” He paused, and those cowardly eyes stared back. “But even if I could open a portal here, which I cannot, with Gideon’s blood shields in place, nothing . . . nothing can enter nor leave that place now . . . Even when he dies.”

When he dies . . .

My hand went to my mouth, stifling the cry ready to burst out of my chest.

“So, you knew, and you fucking sent him to the slaughter?!” I locked my eyes on him, anger wrapping tight around my throat. Fury, the only shield around my heart, kept it from complete and immediate destruction.

“You must understand, there was no other way to prevent the Queen from her ascension to godhood. She’s discovered you and your mixed magic. She would have chased you until your very last breath. You’d never have a moment of peace. And when she would’ve taken you—which she’s already done once—she would not have given you a second chance to run. You’d be dead.” He gestured with his chin to my new wrists, as if proving his point. “This is not some fairytale, Finn. She would have finally become a god, destroying the world,” Godric continued. “Gideon wanted to save you; this was his only chance. A possibility to save you and at last bring peace to the world?—”

“At the cost of his own fucking life!” My voice became heated. Thoughts crowded my mind. My head throbbed like it was going to explode, and my vision blurred.

I was going to throw up.

“I know it’s hard for you to process this. But you must understand this was the best outcome for everyone.” My jaw snapped at that.

I let out a harsh scoff. Best outcome for everyone. Perhaps it was the flames that he saw flickering at my fingertips, at his words, but he hastily added,

“He left you a letter.” Godric reached for one of the drawers. “You should read it.” He handed me the neat envelope with the black seal of the Destroyer General.

I held the letter in my shaking, paled hands, staring at the immaculately written initials.

G. B.

I vehemently ripped the seal, forcing my mind to come out of the haze, to process the words my eyes were seeing.

My dear Finnleah, my wife, my love, my little wildfire, the queen of my heart, body, and soul.

If you are reading this, I am afraid my worst nightmares have come true.

I feverishly skimmed rows of carefully crafted sentences.

I devoured the words he had written with that comforting handwriting. Words, like jaded daggers, tore into my heart, mercilessly cutting it piece by piece.

No.

Gideon was well aware that he wasn’t coming back.

He knew there was no going back once he’d sealed this letter.

And this was his goodbye. A fucking letter.

I’ve been living my life selfishly for so long that for once I’m so glad I have someone worth dying for . . .

I turned the page over; the lines blurred. A large teardrop landed on the pages, smudging the dry ink.

I know you are heartbroken; I am so sorry . . .

I wish I could be there to comfort you, to lull your broken heart. I wish we had more time . . .

Paragraph after paragraph, he explained what he had done. Why he had done it. How he reasoned his way into this.

But none of it mattered. Because no amount of explanations could calm the violent storm within me.

Line after line, he broke my heart. Severed the little flickers of hope I had allowed myself to have. Shattered the dreams I had allowed myself to believe in.

I wiped the stream of tears that ran down my face.

Live, Daughter of the Dead. Live your life to the fullest, my little wildfire. Be happy. And one day when the veil shall turn thin, I will be waiting for you on the other side. Ready to embrace our forever and never let go. And we shall have eternity together.

“Finn,” Godric quietly said.

“Leave me alone,” I mumbled through tears.

“Finn, you’ll be okay. Look, I know it’s hard right now. But in time, you will see that this was the right choice.”

I glared at him then, squeezing the papers tightly in my hand.

“Leave. Me. Alone,” I whispered heatedly. My reddened eyes met his. Not a demand, but a warning. Godric backed up a few steps, giving me space. Unease lacing his face. Good. He was right to be concerned, because the agony that erupted in my soul could destroy the world.

He opened his mouth to say something.

“ Leave! ” I yelled, my voice rattled the walls. I pointed to the door leading to the adjacent room, and he hesitated for a moment, but then made his way towards the room, locking the door behind him.

At last, I let the fury take over, incinerating every single thought within me, the burning agony drowning me, and I let myself fall. I let myself crumble to pieces as I fell to the ground on my knees and cried. Crying tears I had so foolishly hoped to never cry again.