Page 6 of A Raven Revived (The Raven’s Den #4)

Chapter Six

F itz fled Raven House, Ash's words echoing in his ears. What was he supposed to do with that? What did it even mean? How was it possible? How had her well-being suddenly become his responsibility? He could hardly take care of himself, let alone her. Fitz wasn’t like Ash, or any of the other partners, for that matter. He didn’t have a title or stability or even a good sense of right and wrong.

Oh, he had money. More of it than he knew what to do with. But he had no purpose. He simply wandered aimlessly, finding ways to spend it that might bring him a moment of joy. That’s how he’d found himself in Raven Row in the first place. He hadn’t come here looking for her.

He roared up at the sky, startling a couple walking past in the other direction. He suddenly felt trapped. It will break her .

No, Ash was wrong. She’d only sought him out because she’d been drinking and wanted physical pleasure. And the only reason she’d even come to him looking for that was because he’d taken liberties with her in the past when he shouldn’t have. Back before her sister had died. Before she’d become betrothed to his brother. Back then, he’d foolishly thought they might somehow have a life together.

He rolled his eyes. He’d never deserved her.

He stopped walking. Perhaps he could, though.

He could certainly afford to provide her a good life. He may not have come here looking for her, but he had found her. Alive and well, which was more than he ever could have hoped for, and what he’d been dreaming of for years.

What if Ash was right? What if she did care for him? What if she had, in fact, been reaching out to him for more than just physical pleasure? His mind conjured the moment when she’d thrown herself into his arms in Raven House. The first time he’d heard the name Fitz from her lips in nearly four years. Nothing had ever made his soul purr the way that had.

Perhaps she really did need him, or at least want him? Well, if that was even remotely possible, he certainly wasn’t going to abandon her for a second time.

* * *

Daisy had only been in her room a few minutes when Gwen knocked and let herself in. “Come to give me a second lecture?”

She sighed as she closed the door. “Don’t be like that. We’re still friends.”

Guilt instantly filled her gut. “Of course we are. I’m sorry.” She got to her feet and wrapped Gwen in a hug. It wasn’t like Daisy to be grumpy or spiteful. She was usually a lot like her namesake, bright and cheerful.

“I know things have changed a bit since I married Ash, but I haven’t forgotten the kindness you always showed me. Nor have I forgotten how many rules I broke while I was your roommate just a short time ago. I am familiar with the silly things we’ll do when our hearts are drawn to someone.”

Daisy nodded. “I suppose you are, but you didn’t sneak out of the house, at least.”

Gwen laughed. “Only because I didn’t have to. Ash was just upstairs.”

“How did you do it, Gwen? I mean, before. Fitz wants to invest in The Raven’s Den. What will happen when he’s my boss and I’m still drawn to him? I’ve never had that with the others.”

Gwen placed a hand on her shoulder. “That isn’t going to happen. Not after last night.”

“What do you mean? Did Ash tell you something?”

“No, but I know him. He won’t allow someone in if it’s going to cause problems, and whatever is between the two of you, it would definitely be a problem.”

Great. Fitz was going to miss out on the investment he wanted because she’d been unable to control herself.

“Now, there’s something else we need to discuss.” Gwen steered her over to sit on the side of her bed and pulled up a chair. “Ash needs to know how you were able to leave here without anyone noticing, especially in the state you were in.”

“If I tell you my secrets, how am I going to sneak out again next time?”

Gwen raised her brow in a very Ash-like manner.

“You’re starting to act like him, you know.”

Pink blossomed in Gwen’s cheeks as she smiled. “I am not.”

“You are,” Daisy teased with a nod.

Gwen folded her arms across her chest, but her smile remained. “Stop it. You’re just trying to distract me.”

Daisy shrugged. “Perhaps I am.” She sighed. “I don’t want someone else to be in trouble for what I did, and I know they will be.”

Gwen shook her head. “They won’t be in trouble for what you did, Daisy. If they weren’t doing their job properly, then that’s their own fault. Ash needs to know that, though.”

“I know,” Daisy said with a resigned sigh. She hated to get Brennan into trouble, but Gwen was right. Ash did need to know, even if he was going to be angry.

“Brennan leaves his post at the backdoor for maybe a half hour around the same time every night he’s stationed there. I never knew why until last night. I don’t know if it’s always been the same, but that time, he was meeting with a woman.” Daisy giggled, but Gwen didn’t.

“How long have you been aware of this, Daisy?”

“I don’t know.” Daisy shrugged. “A while.” It was clear from Gwen’s expression that this was more serious than Daisy had realized. “You don’t think Ash will sack him, do you?”

“I don’t know. Brennan is one of his most loyal. He’s been with Ash for a long time.”

Dread filled her stomach. She couldn’t let Ash do that. She sprang from the bed and sprinted down the hall, bursting into Ash’s office. Shock registered on his face at her sudden appearance.

“You can’t sack him!”

His brow furrowed in confusion, but he spoke calmly. “Close the door, Daisy.”

She nodded and did as she was told.

“Now sit down and explain to me who I can’t sack and why I would be.”

She sat in the same chair she’d vacated just a short time ago. Fitz had apparently already gone. She thought for a moment, trying to figure out how she was going to convince Ash, but he was waiting for an explanation.

“Brennan left his post last night, which is how I was able to walk right out the backdoor. Well, it might have been more of a stumble.” She was trying to lessen Ash's anger with humor, but it wasn’t working.

Ash nodded and continued to watch her. “And how did you know he’d be leaving his post at that time?”

“Because he’s been doing that for a while,” she said quietly.

“You’ve known about it and didn’t bring it to my attention? Were you planning to sneak out?”

Daisy rolled her eyes. “Of course I wasn’t. Don’t be daft.”

At least that finally made him smile. “Then why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I didn’t want to get him in trouble.”

Ash let out a long sigh. “Would you prefer some less than honorable person just waltzed in through the backdoor?”

“No.”

“He’s there for a reason, Daisy. You are too nice for your own good.”

“I still don’t want you to sack him.”

“Well, perhaps I won’t, but that needs to be my decision.”

She nodded and looked down at her lap. “I’m sorry, Ash. I didn’t mean to cause so much trouble.”

“Don’t look so sad, Daisy.” He came around the desk and held out an arm. She gladly allowed him to wrap it around her shoulders again. “Everything is going to be alright. You’ll see.”

* * *

Fitz dropped into the chair and reached across the table for Anderson’s glass, draining the remaining liquid down his throat.

“Please tell me you haven’t dragged me into whatever it is that has brought you to this point.”

Fitz ordered them both another round. He laughed, but even to his own ears it sounded a bit desperate. “After I left you last night, Daisy came to my room.”

Two glasses of brandy were delivered to the table and Anderson took a large swig before responding. “My God, Fitz, do you have a death wish?”

“I didn’t invite her. I also didn’t sleep with her.”

“Well, that’s something I suppose, but did you immediately send her away?”

“No, I didn’t do that either.”

“I think it’s probably time for you and me to get far away from here.”

Fitz chuckled. He understood the sentiment, but he wasn’t leaving. “I’m staying, actually. And I need you to find me a place to live.”

Anderson’s mouth was open slightly as he slowly blinked. “Are you going to marry her?”

Fitz shrugged. “I don’t know yet. I’m not going to abandon her again, though. But I need a better place to sleep than at that inn.”

“And what makes you think they’re not going to kill you?”

Fitz took another drink. “I’ve just come from there. Well, I’ve been walking for a while, but before that I was in Ash’s office.”

Confusion settled over Anderson’s face. “How is that possible? All four of them threatened you just for laying your hands on her shoulders.”

“I know. It doesn’t really make sense to me either. Strangely, it feels as if Ash is encouraging me to pursue her.”

Anderson just sighed and shook his head.

“Unfortunately, he’s not going to allow my investment.”

“And you want to stay anyway? Are you sure she’s worth it?”

He didn’t have even a whisper of doubt. “She’s worth it.”

* * *

Daisy sat in her room, unable to focus on the book that lay open in her lap. It was only day two of her confinement, and she was already bored beyond measure. Somehow not being allowed to go out had a way of making her want to so much more. She was permitted to leave her room if she wished, but all the other ladies would know she was being punished, so it was better just to hide in here and leave them to speculate about what she’d done. Ordinarily, she liked the company of a roommate, but this was one of the few times she was actually glad she didn’t have another lady sharing her room.

Despite the boredom, her brain just couldn’t seem to concentrate on anything other than replaying what had happened the other night with Fitz. She couldn’t stop seeing herself spread wide open for him while she touched herself. She should be humiliated by the memory, but the way he’d looked at her, the hunger that had come over him, only made her want to do it again. And when she wasn’t thinking about that, she was reliving that kiss. He’d kissed her before, back when they were close, before her sister died, but it had never been like that. That kiss was desperate. Ravenous. As if he would perish if he didn’t have all of her. Warmth filled her belly, making her long to touch herself again now.

A tapping noise sounded against her window startling her out of her wanton thoughts. She shot to her feet, the book tumbling from her lap onto the floor. Flustered, she had to catch her breath before she could go investigate.

She pulled the curtain back just far enough to peek out. Fitz was standing outside her window, and when he saw her, his mouth turned up in an apologetic smile. But he certainly didn’t have anything to be sorry for. These windows didn’t open, but he held up a slate that had a daisy drawn on it, his brows hitched up waiting for her approval. She giggled as joy burst to life inside of her. He held a finger over his lips, and she tried to subdue her laugh.

Using a rag, he wiped away the daisy and began writing on the slate before holding it up to the window.

I thought you might like some company during your confinement.

She pressed a hand to her heart, where so much warmth suddenly blossomed. Why was he doing this for her? She laid her other palm against the cool window and mouthed the words, “Thank you.”

He placed his palm opposite hers and nodded. They just stayed like that for a moment before he pulled his hand away and mimed giving her a hug.

She copied the gesture. It wasn’t nearly as good as the real thing but having him here made her heart sing. It reminded her of the time they used to spend together. There was a time when he was her dearest friend.

He wiped the slate again and began writing.

Are you doing alright?

She nodded. She wanted to say more, but he’d never be able to understand her without shouting. She sighed and nodded again.

I can’t stay. Security is about to send me away.

She nodded her understanding and pouted her lips. He wrote another message.

I’ll be back tomorrow.

Then he wiped it and drew a quick, sloppy daisy to hold up and pressed his hand over his heart. He turned and gave a salute, presumably to whoever was on security duty out there, and jogged away from her window.

He might not have been there long, but his visit made her whole day better. She couldn’t seem to stop smiling. She even caught herself dancing a few times while sweeping.

The following day, from the moment she woke, she waited impatiently for a tap on her window. The only time she left was to hurry down and grab a scone and some tea, which she brought right back to her room.

Around midday, there was a knock on her door. Ash stood in the hall when she opened it, and her stomach dropped. Of course he would have heard about Fitz’s visit, and he undoubtedly put a stop to it.

Just as she resigned herself to being in even more trouble, he held something out for her. A slate and a piece of chalk.

Excitement thrummed through her. “Does this mean you’re going to allow him at my window?”

His lips thinned. “For short intervals.”

She gave a little squeal and threw her arms around him. “Thank you, Ash!” As always, he kept his arms at his sides. He only ever gave hugs around the shoulders, a stickler for his own rules of propriety with the ladies in his care.

She let him go and he shook his head with a sigh. “Gwen is not going to be happy when she finds out about that.” He nodded toward the slate. “She thinks I’m getting too soft, and she might be right.”

“Or maybe you have a kind heart and are not nearly the stern, rigid ruler you’d like people to believe you to be.”

When she’d first met him, he had terrified her. He was large, dark, and imposing, always dressed in black from head to toe, and obviously accustomed to being in command. But now, she knew better. Not that he was actually soft. Everyone knew if you hurt someone he cared about, he would unleash a terrifying wrath upon you. But to those under his care, he was kind and nurturing, and his protection and loyalty were absolute.

He placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. “Don’t make me regret it.”

“I promise I won’t.” She smiled up at him. “Thank you, Ash.”

It wasn’t long before there was a tap on her window. The way her heart soared when she saw Fitz’s smile startled her a bit. Once again, he’d drawn a daisy on his slate. It was quite detailed. He’d obviously spent time working on it before he came. She tried not to question his motives and to just enjoy his company.

Are you well?

She nodded and wrote a reply on her slate.

Yes. Thank you for the slate.

He nodded and chuckled.

Ash wasn’t very happy with the idea, but I managed to convince him.

She giggled.

Hopefully Gwen doesn’t override him and take it away .

He’s only allowing me 10 minutes each day.

Daisy rolled her eyes, and he threw his head back with laughter. The dimple in his left cheek had always made something tighten in her stomach. He was truly magnificent.

Eventually, she realized he was smiling at her, and she’d just been staring. She should be embarrassed at being caught, but he didn’t seem to mind. They simply gazed into one another’s eyes for a long moment.

Eventually, he looked back down at his slate and drew a grid of nine squares and marked an x in one. She laughed. He wanted to play noughts and crosses. She drew the same on her own slate and filled in one square with an o. They continued taking their turns and marking their grids until she got lucky and won. With a flourish, she drew a line through her three o’s, and he laughed.

Their next game ended in a draw, and just as they finished, he looked to his right and nodded. He was being sent away.

Tomorrow

She nodded and pressed her palm to the window. He joined her for just a moment before stepping away and giving her a bow. Loneliness settled as she watched him stride away.

The next day dragged even more before there was finally a tap at her window. This time, he’d drawn a small daisy in the corner so that he didn’t have to wipe it off and it could stay there as they played their games. He already had a grid ready for noughts and crosses. She drew a grid on her own, this time writing an x in one square.

Eventually, she caught herself just staring at him again. She had an urge to press her palm to the glass, but she resisted. This was a terrible path to go down. It would only end in heartbreak. Again. It wasn’t as if he was going to stay now that there was no investment for him, so why was she doing this? Had she not learned her lesson? More to the point, why was he doing this?

Misplaced guilt probably. How long would that keep him from leaving?

Swallowing down her worry, she quickly thought of a riddle and jotted it onto her slate.

I know a word of letters 3, add 2, and fewer there will be.

He read it and quirked his mouth to one side in thought. After a moment, he read it again, then looked up to the sky, perhaps for inspiration. Eventually, his face brightened, and he wrote down his answer.

Few

She nodded, and he punched the air in celebration.

He furrowed his brow for a moment, concentrating, before writing a riddle for her.

By Moon or by Sun, I shall be found.

Yet I am undone, if there's no light around.

He held up a finger to his right, their time must be up. Daisy quickly copied the riddle onto her own slate. He pressed his hand against the window and mouthed the word, “Tomorrow.”

She placed her hand up to his, and with a nod, he turned and left. The pain it caused her to watch him walk away made her know one thing: whatever this was between them, it had to stop. In the end, she would lose him.

It wasn’t as if he’d marry her. He hadn’t even wanted that before. Now, her reputation was beyond destroyed, and even if she returned home, her father was unlikely to provide her a dowry.

How had she let this happen? For three years, she’d been so strong, so independent, she hadn't needed anyone. But in just a few short days, Fitz had recaptured her heart.

She sat on the edge of her bed and breathed out a long sigh, tears already threatening. She knew what she had to do, even if she didn’t want to. It was time for her to leave.

In a bit of a daze, she made her way down the hall toward Ash’s office. She needed to talk to him before she had a chance to change her mind.

He gave her his usual welcoming smile and invited her in.

“Are you alright, Daisy?” His brow dipped in concern as he looked at her.

She had to clench her teeth to keep the tears at bay, so she simply nodded. After closing the door, she faced it for a moment, drawing a deep breath and steeling herself. She swallowed the lump in her throat and slowly turned to face Ash.

“What is it, Daisy?”

Cold gradually filled her body as she struggled to force the words out.

“It’s time for me to go. Do you still have a position available on your estate?”

“Yes,” he said without hesitation. “But why now? Has he done something to hurt you?” He tried to keep the anger from his voice, but she could see the muscles in his jaw tighten.

“No,” she said quickly. “No, of course not.” She breathed a long, slow breath. “I’m falling in love with him, again, and if I don’t go now, losing him a second time might just crush me.” A single tear burned a path down her cheek, and she turned her eyes toward the ceiling, trying to stop any more from following.

Ash squeezed her hand. “I can send him away, Daisy. You don’t have to be the one to go.”

She shook her head. “If I go, it’s best for everyone. It gets me out of your hair and frees up space for another woman to come in. It also allows Fitz to invest in The Raven’s Den as he wanted to, and perhaps that will make him happy.”

“Please tell me you’re not making this decision because you think it’s what’s best for me and for Fitz. What about what’s best for you, Daisy?”

“I’ve made up my mind, Ash. Don’t make me run away instead.”

He closed his eyes for a moment and let out a long sigh.

“When would you like to leave?”

Before she lost her nerve. “As soon as possible.”

He squeezed her hand again and nodded. “Go and pack. We’ll get you on the next train.”