Page 18 of A Raven Revived (The Raven’s Den #4)

Chapter Eighteen

D aisy gasped and stumbled backwards, shaking her head. Those words sent her instantly back to that horrible place and panic ripped through her. Her skin burned from the memory of the cold water and dread filled her as she saw those men peeling off her wet gown. Her body shook as if she really was back there again.

“It’s alright, Daisy.” His eyes were wide, his hands fisted at his sides. “Would you prefer I send in a maid to help you?”

“No. Don’t leave me.” Sobs suddenly overcame her, and she reached for him.

His strong arms pulled her in tight. “Daisy, sweetheart, you’re safe. I’ve got you.” She nodded against his chest as he held her.

“I know.” His strength brought her so much comfort. Fitz would never do anything to hurt her. She knew that, but apparently they had broken her in more ways than she’d realized. Slowly, her panic ebbed and she wiped her tears, stepping back from him.

“I think perhaps I should remove the nightgown myself.”

He nodded. “Would you like me to turn around?”

She shook her head. He was so sweet and gallant. “It’s not that I don’t want you to see me. Those words just sent my mind back there again.” It sounded silly, but how could she possibly explain it in a way that didn’t?

He closed his eyes, his jaw clenched. He took a long, shaky breath. Unshed tears glistened in his eyes when he looked at her again. “I’m so sorry for whatever happened to you in there.”

“It isn’t your fault, Fitz.”

“I never should have left you.”

“You only did what I asked of you.” She knew she’d never convince him, so instead, she carefully pulled the gown off over her head, hoping her naked body might distract him.

It did distract him, but not in the way she’d wished for. He looked grief-stricken. His gaze swept over her, his eyes lingering on every bruise, of which there were many. There wasn’t a trace of hunger or desire, and her heart withered. Would he ever want her that way again?

“Dear God. What did they do to you?”

A whisper of a laugh escaped her lips. “I did most of it to myself, probably. I fought them like an unbroken stallion.”

“Of course you did. My brave girl. You wouldn’t know any other way.” He wrapped his arms around her. “I’m sorry you had to do that.”

She hated that he harbored so much guilt. “Will you take this off?” She tugged on his pajama top.

He didn’t hesitate for a second. His skin was so warm, and she melted against him, wrapping her arms around his body. It was heavenly. She’d been so afraid she’d never feel that again. She stayed there, savoring his embrace for several minutes before she finally pulled away. She slipped the clean gown over her head and donned the wrapper.

“Are you sure you want to go down and join the others?”

“I’m sure.”

She sat on the side of the bed while Fitz quickly dressed. His eyes never left her, as if he was terrified she might suddenly disappear again. After another long hug, he escorted her down to the dining room. A mass of smiling faces greeted her.

“Samantha?” She returned her smile and then looked up at Fitz. “You got her out too?”

“Of course we did. You asked me to.”

“Did I?” She didn’t remember that. “Well, I’m glad I did.”

“So am I,” Samantha said quietly.

Daisy’s gaze wandered over the table. Lord Epworth sat at the head, making her nervous, in spite of Fitz’s assurances that he’d been kind and helpful. Patrick, Michael, and Ash all looked at her with so much affection. Even the security staff around the table smiled at her. It was hard to believe that so many people had come to her aid.

Michael got up from his seat and wrapped a strong arm around her shoulders. “I’m glad to see you smiling.”

“Thank you all, for coming to my rescue. I don’t know how you managed to find me and get me out of there, but my gratitude is beyond measure.”

“You’re one of ours,” Patrick said. “We take care of our own.”

Somehow, in running away from her family, she’d managed to stumble into a much better one. She gave silent thanks to be back with them again. Lord Epworth smiled kindly at her as she sat down in the chair that was pulled out for her to his right.

“I’m glad to see you up and about. I was worried about you when they brought you in last night.”

“Thank you for providing me a place to recover.”

“It’s the least I can do after the way I treated you the first time we met.” He took a sip of tea.

“You remember?”

“I remember being terribly rude.”

Patrick chimed in from two seats down. “You most certainly were.”

“Well, perhaps it will ease your conscience if I tell you that I cheered when Rosie told me Patrick had punched you.”

A chorus of laughter erupted around the table, and Lord Epworth gave her an indulgent smile. “Rightly so.”

“I understand you have been very helpful, and I thank you, my lord.”

He inclined his head. “You are welcome to convalesce here as long as you need, Daisy.”

Ash placed a plate piled with an assortment of foods in front of her. “No raisin scones, I’m afraid, but I’m sure you’ll find something you like there.”

She smiled up at him. “Thank you.”

He rested a comforting hand on her shoulder. “The rest of us need to head back today, but you stay as long as you want. Fitz will be here, and I’ll leave McKinnon just in case there are any problems.”

“As much as I appreciate that, I think I just want to come home.”

He nodded. “Whatever you want, if you think you’re up to it.”

She longed to go home, where she felt safe. She didn’t want to spend any more time in a strange place.

Her body ached as she climbed into Ash’s carriage. Fitz made sure the heavy blanket was tucked tightly around her after she snuggled up against his side. Samantha had gone with Michael. Apparently, she felt safe with him. That was fine by Daisy. She wasn’t feeling up to much conversation right now. She was tired, but carriage rides always lulled her to sleep, so she didn’t mind.

It was a long journey back to Raven Row, but Fitz held her against his side, and every so often, he’d squeeze her and place a kiss on the top of her head.

Ash was quiet, but whenever she looked his way, he was watching her.

“I’m fine, Ash.” Her voice was still scratchy, and her throat was tender.

He shook his head, a sad smile turning up his lips. “No, you aren't. But you will be.”

She nodded. Hopefully he was right about that. She wasn’t so sure. Physically, she would undoubtedly heal, but what about the fear that lived inside her now? Could she overcome that, as well?

“I’ll make sure she is,” Fitz promised.

“Where would you like to go tonight, Daisy?” Ash asked as they neared Raven Row. “Would you like to stay at Raven House or with Fitz?”

She looked up at Fitz. “I didn’t think the pair of you would give me that option.”

Fitz squeezed her hand. “If it were up to me, you’d never leave my side again. But if you’ll be more comfortable at Raven House, I know you’ll be safe there.”

She shook her head. “I’d rather be with you.” It wasn’t even a difficult choice. She wanted to sleep with Fitz’s arms wrapped around her again.

“But what about Samantha?” she asked Ash.

He raised a brow. “Do you think I would just abandon her?”

“Of course you won’t. I don’t know why I even asked the question. I’m a little surprised that you’re going to allow me to stay with Fitz when we’re not married.”

“You’ll be married soon.”

Fitz pulled her close. “As long as you’ll still have me.”

She scoffed. “I’m the one who’s broken, and with no dowry, and a father who will certainly not give his permission.”

“I’ve already told you, I don’t give a damn about his permission or a dowry.”

“Oh, he’ll give his blessing,” Ash assured them. “Epworth is dealing with that as we speak. Your father cares far too much about his reputation to refuse.”

“Why would Lord Epworth do that for me?”

Ash shrugged. “Like Patrick said, you’re one of ours.”

“Well, I guess I’m lucky to have friends in high places, then.”

Fitz pressed another kiss to the top of her head. “You and me both.”

The carriage came to a stop and Fitz helped her down. They were in Raven Row, but not at the Inn. “What are we doing here? This isn’t Redmoor Inn.”

Fitz smiled proudly. “This is our home.” He shrugged. “If you want it to be, anyway.”

“I don’t understand. You own this townhouse?”

He nodded. “I know you have a lot of questions, but why don’t we go in and get out of the cold before I explain everything?”

Ash stepped down. “I am aware of just how independent you are, Daisy, but please allow Fitz to take care of you for a little while so you can rest and recover.”

“I plan to take full advantage.” She smiled up at him.

He gave her a proper hug, wrapping her in a tight embrace. He’d never done that before and it surprised her. But it was comforting, and it made her feel safe.

“Did you just give me a real hug, Ash?”

“Don’t tell the others,” he whispered conspiratorially.

She laughed softly. It was still painful for her body but felt so good for her soul. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”

* * *

The only other time Fitz had seen the inside of this place, it had been completely empty. Ash had seen to the furnishings, and he hadn’t disappointed. Every detail was taken care of. He’d apparently even secured some staff. A man named Jasper greeted them at the door, all of the fires were lit, and he even offered to pour Fitz a glass of brandy.

“Thank you, Jasper. I appreciate your assistance, but I’ll pour myself a glass if I decide I want one later. It’s been a long couple of days, and this evening, we’d like some quiet time alone, please.”

“Yes sir,” he said with a nod. “You’ll know how to find me if you need anything.”

Fitz seated himself at the end of the plush sofa and held out his arm, inviting Daisy to snuggle against him, which she immediately did. He squeezed her gently and pressed a kiss on top of her head. This was their home, and with her here, it would be perfect.

There was something bothering him, though.

“Why did you refer to yourself as broken?” Even saying the word made his heart ache. She was the best thing in his world. How could she possibly think of herself that way?

She took a deep breath before answering. “Because I am. I started crying because you said…” Her words trailed off and a cynical laugh whispered from her lips. “I can’t even say the words myself.” He couldn’t see her face, but could feel her anguish.

He turned so he could wrap both arms around her and pulled her tightly against him. “Daisy, I can’t begin to imagine what they put you through and the untold pain they must have caused you. I am so, so sorry you had to endure all of that, but you are still perfect to me in every way.”

She sighed softly and it wrenched at his heart. She didn’t believe him. Perhaps it would just take time. Tomorrow, he’d take her out of the house for some sunshine and to visit the ladies at Raven House.

“Will you tell me about this place? Did you buy it so you could invest in The Raven’s Den?”

He shook his head. “I bought it so I could be close to you. I realized I couldn’t leave you again, but then you went up to Ash’s estate before I could tell you that.” Only a few days had passed since then, but it felt like a lifetime ago.

“You were going to stay, even without your investment?”

“I decided to stay because of you. Nothing else matters.”

“Why didn’t you mention it when we were at Woodburn Hall?”

“I forgot about it. If you’ll recall, you had me occupied with other things while we were up there. Other, wonderful things.” He breathed in deeply. The smell of Auburn Ridge still lingered on her. Tomorrow, he’d wash that away too.

“I don’t know what I did to deserve you, Fitz.’

“Well, I guess we’re even then, because I don’t know what I did to deserve you either.”

“I’m not sure if it’s still from the drugs, or just from everything that has happened over the last few days, but I’m sleepy. I know it’s barely dusk, but would you mind if we went to bed early tonight?”

“I will happily let you sleep for a week straight if that’s what you need. Just as long as you don’t mind my arms being wrapped around you.”

“They’d better be.” She looked up at him and her smile made warmth fill his chest. It also made him believe she’d be alright, in time.

When morning came, Fitz was determined to make this a good day for her. He’d sent Jasper to find some raisin scones, had a bath readied, and made sure the fire was nice and hot. When that was taken care of, he sat in a chair beside the bed and watched her sleep. She looked so peaceful. Thank God. At least for now, she wasn’t tormented by nightmares.

It was only a few minutes before her eyes fluttered open. A smile grew on her lips when she saw him, and it filled him with gratitude.

“Good morning, beautiful.”

Her smile grew even wider, and she stretched her arms above her head. “Good morning to you, handsome.”

“I have managed to procure your favorite scones.”

She eagerly threw back the blankets and sat up on the side of the bed. He held one up for her to take a bite. Her eyes closed and she savored it as she chewed. Thankfully, she was able to still find joy in something so insignificant.

“Is that from Raven House?”

Fitz shrugged. “It might be. I told Jasper to get them wherever he had to.”

She laughed softly and opened her mouth for another bite. He gloried in this moment. Such a simple thing and she appreciated it so much. Happiness shone in her eyes as they met his. He held out a saucer and her feet swung slightly as she lifted the cup to her lips.

She wiggled adorably, enjoying another bite of scone. He would do everything in his power to see her this way every day for the rest of their lives. When she was finished, he set everything aside.

“I have another surprise for you.” He pressed a quick kiss to her lips, then scooped her up from the bed and carried her to the dressing room. “I thought you might enjoy starting your day with a nice hot bath.” But then her gaze fell on the tub.

“No!” she screamed. “Please don't make me! Please!” Her body stiffened as she kicked and fought frantically to get out of his arms. Panic gripped him when he nearly dropped her. He clamped his arms around her and hurried out of the room. He placed her on the bed, and she scurried away from him, curling herself into a tight ball against the headboard. Her whole body shook as she gasped for breath.

Seeing her gripped with so much fear ripped his heart in two. Defeated, he dropped to his knees near the side of the bed. “Daisy, sweetheart, I’m sorry.” He didn’t know how to help her. Dear God. What had they done to her in that awful place? “You’re safe, Daisy. I’ll never hurt you.” But he had hurt her. His hands balled into fists, his nails digging into his palms. If he hadn’t left her alone with her father, she never would have ended up in that godforsaken place. She gave an unsteady nod and slowly began to calm. He didn’t move, terrified that anything he did might frighten her even more.

After an agonizing stretch of time, she gradually uncurled her body and looked over at him. Eventually, after the terror faded from her face, she crawled down and sat on the side of the bed in front of him. She reached for him and he gently wrapped his arms around her middle. Her body still trembled as she hugged his head to her chest.

“I’m so sorry, Daisy. I didn’t mean to frighten you.”

“I told you.” She shrugged. “Broken.”

“No.” He sat back on his heels so he could look into her eyes. They were filled with unshed tears, until one slid down her cheek.

“I’ll understand if you’ve changed your mind about marrying me, Fitz.”

He wiped away the tears and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Nothing could ever change my mind about that, Daisy.” He squeezed her shoulders. “You are my everything, the most important thing in my world, and my life could never again be complete without you by my side. I love you, and nothing will ever change that. Do you hear me?”

She nodded as more tears ran down her face. “I love you, Fitz.”

He held her and rocked her slowly. God how he wished he could take this pain away from her.

“I know I need a bath, but…”

He took hold of her hands. “Don’t you worry about a thing, my beautiful girl.” He pressed a gentle kiss to her cheek and got to his feet.

He laid two towels on the floor in front of the fire, then filled a basin with warm water from the tub and grabbed a cloth. He stripped out of his clothes—hopefully, if he didn’t have anything on, she would feel less vulnerable taking off her own—and sat cross-legged on the towels.

“Get yourself naked and come sit on my lap. I’ll get you clean, no tub required.”