Page 19 of A Raven Revived (The Raven’s Den #4)

Chapter Nineteen

S he would never understand how she’d managed to capture Fitz’s heart. He was the definition of kindness. Unbelievably sweet and caring, sitting there on the floor, smiling his encouragement. She left the bed and pulled her nightgown over her head.

Carefully, she settled herself onto his lap with her back against his chest. Having his body against her was incredible, and very quickly, the feel of his warm skin changed her nervousness into desire. Could he possibly still want her that way, with all of her bruises and theatrics? His lips, soft and warm, pressed a tender kiss to her shoulder and she closed her eyes, glorying in the loving gesture.

He dipped the cloth into the basin and squeezed out most of the water before turning her face so he could see it. Gently, he wiped it over her forehead. She was surprised by the warmth of both the cloth and of his touch. He rubbed softly over her eyes and then the rest of her face.

“Is this alright?” he asked quietly.

She nodded. “It’s wonderful. Thank you.”

He rinsed the cloth and continued with his gentle ministrations. Such sadness filled his eyes as he carefully wiped over the bruises on her arm.

“Do they hurt?”

“A little,” she admitted.

His lips whispered over them as he kissed each one. He repeated the same with her other arm, and her desire grew with every touch of his lips.

“Lean forward, so I can wash your back.”

After he wiped down the whole surface of her back, his lips gently pressed a few places where she must have bruises. That was not a surprise after everything that had happened, but his kisses made her need grow and her nipples responded, begging for attention.

She leaned back against him, and he brushed the cloth gently over her stomach.

“Fitz?” She swallowed, reluctant to ask the question, afraid he may not want her anymore. “Will you touch me?”

He went completely still, and her breathing stopped. She closed her eyes, waiting for his rejection.

“Are you sure you’re ready for that?”

She wrapped her fingers around his arms and guided his hands up to her breasts. He dropped the cloth and gently held them in his palms, his manhood coming to life beneath her.

Thank God.

Hot, open-mouthed kisses along her shoulders made goosebumps rise on her skin. Gently, he brushed his fingertips over her nipple, sending exquisite flashes through her body. Without a thought, her hips rocked against him, and he purred against her neck.

Tears, borne simply of relief, trickled down her cheeks.

His hand skimmed over her stomach, and they groaned in unison as his fingers slipped between her thighs.

“Turn around, so I can taste your mouth,” he whispered urgently.

She got up, and as she straddled him, his hard length slid along her aching sex making her whole body shudder. He noticed her tears, but simply wiped them away without asking questions or demanding answers. One hand cradled the back of her head while he plundered her mouth, and the other squeezed her backside. She’d never needed him more than she did in that moment. As she rocked herself against him, he groaned into her mouth.

She pulled back from him. “Can I take you inside of me like this?”

“If that’s what you want. Yes. Absolutely.” His nod was eager and his eyes wide with anticipation.

She lifted herself up and reached between their bodies, wrapping her fingers gently around him. It was the first time she’d ever touched that part of his body, and she liked the firmness of it in her hand. He held her hips as she guided him to her entrance and slowly lowered herself onto him. It was tight, but not painful like it had been the first time. Her body stretched to accommodate him as he filled her. Feeling him fully inside her took her breath away. She needed this connection, more than he could possibly know.

“You are incredible, Daisy.” He leaned down and flicked his tongue across her nipple, sending jolts of pleasure through her body. Her hips bucked in response, and he smiled against her breast.

Slowly, his hands on her hips encouraged her to move up until he was mostly out of her, once more. He suckled her other nipple and in her desperate need, she dropped back down, sending him plunging into her body. A burst of sensation flared to life deep within her and she gasped. Soon, she was eagerly riding him, each plunge pushing her closer to the ecstasy she was so desperate for.

“My God,” he panted, his fingers squeezing her hips, coaxing her up and down. There was so much love in his eyes as he gazed into hers.

Her fingers gripped his shoulders to steady herself as she moved. She was so close now. She leaned into him so that her nipples could rub against his chest. Each repetition sent pleasure racing through her straight to where they were joined, pushing her closer and closer.

“Fitz.” She was gasping and moaning, desperate for release. Finally, it ripped through her. She threw her head back, slamming herself down on him over and over, as her body lost all sense of rhythm and control.

Fitz roared as he reached his own climax, gripping her hips and pulling her down firmly. Daisy wrapped her arms around his neck.

She had needed that so much. Had needed him to want her still. Had needed the physical and emotional connection she’d worried was lost forever.

“I think you might have to wash me again after that. I’m all sweaty.”

He chuckled breathlessly and held her tight. “Just as soon as I catch my breath.” He kissed the top of her shoulder.

Daisy could happily stay just like that forever, his arms wrapped tightly around her as his rapid breaths feathered over her skin.

Suddenly, she had a burning need to tell him what happened to her in that place. Perhaps because she felt so safe in his embrace. Perhaps because she now believed that he truly did still want her. Whatever the reason, she wanted him to know. She wanted to let it out.

“They had a bathtub filled with ice cold water. Every time I disobeyed, I was plunged into it and held there until I agreed to cooperate.” She swallowed. Fitz’s body stiffened slightly, but he didn’t interrupt her. Instead, he placed another comforting kiss on her shoulder, encouraging her to continue.

“When they would pull me out, the man in the white coat would instruct me to…” Why were those words so hard for her? “He would tell me to…” She couldn’t say it. She shook her head frustratedly. “They would pull off the wet gown and give me a towel to dry off with before putting a fresh gown over my head.” She felt the muscles of his jaw flexing against her shoulder.

“How many times?” he asked quietly.

“I don’t know exactly, but something like a dozen. When I didn’t break, they moved on to the drugs and the jacket.” She paused for a moment. “Although, I’m ashamed to admit I did break for a time. I stopped fighting them and became compliant because it was so nice to be warm and to be able to go outside and to eat real food.” A sob ripped from her throat.

His arms held her even tighter, and he rocked gently from side to side. “Don’t be ashamed of that, Daisy. You never should have had to do any of it.”

“I tried so hard to be strong,” she bawled. “To keep fighting, desperate to somehow get back to you.”

“Shhh.” He rubbed soothing circles over her back. “You were strong. You made it, and you’re with me now. I will never let anything like that happen again.” He kissed her shoulder. “I’m so sorry you went through all of that, Daisy. I failed you, utterly and completely.”

She leaned back so she could look into his eyes. “None of it is your fault, Fitz. Please stop blaming yourself.” She placed her palm against his cheek. “My father is the only one to blame.”

He still looked so sad. “Why didn’t you tell me you were afraid he’d send you to an asylum?”

She shrugged. “My father had threatened me with it when I told him I wouldn’t marry Geoffrey, but I didn’t think he’d actually do it, especially with you just at the neighboring estate, and Geoffrey already married. What could he possibly have to gain? I didn’t understand just how angry he was, though. He truly hates me, Fitz.”

He pulled her into another tight embrace. “I’ll make you a deal. I’ll stop blaming myself, if you’ll stop thinking of yourself as broken.”

Tears filled her eyes again as she leaned back to look at him. He was so good to her. Slowly, she nodded. His answering smile warmed her heart, and she pressed her lips to his.

She was lucky to have him. She wrapped her arms around him and whispered into his ear, “Fitz.”

He squeezed her tight and whispered back, “Daisy.”

“Do you feel up to a short walk? The sun is out today, and I thought we might walk over to Raven House for a visit. Would you like that?”

“I would love that.” Right now, she would love doing anything with him, but sunshine and fresh air sounded especially inviting.

When they entered Raven House a short time later, Gwen rushed across the main hall and threw her arms around Daisy. She held her and didn’t say a word, just hugged her.

When they eventually parted, Rosie stood, as if in line, and did the same.

Ash smiled at her from where he stood beside his office door. “You’re looking well today.” He held an arm out to his side, but she ignored it and wrapped her arms tightly around his middle.

“You’re not going to get away with those half hugs any longer. Not after last night.”

He leaned down to whisper in her ear. “You’re going to be a bad influence on the others, you know.” But he wrapped his arms around her anyway.

“That’s a risk I’m willing to take.”

He chuckled. “So be it.”

“Thank you, Ash.”

He squeezed her once more before letting her go. “Do you mind if I borrow Fitz for an hour? I’m sure the ladies will be happy to have your company.”

“Of course. Just as long as you promise to give him back.”

“I promise.”

She sat with Rosie and Gwen and enjoyed a cup of tea. They didn’t ask her anything about Auburn Ridge, somehow knowing she didn’t want to talk about it. Instead, they gushed with excitement over her betrothal to Fitz.

“The night you snuck out of here, after drinking an entire bottle of wine, just so that you could see him, I knew he must be something special.”

Daisy blushed. “Probably not my finest hour.” But even then, he’d been honorable, kind, and protective.

Rosie chimed in then. “We’ve all done silly things because of love, dear.”

They shared a few more laughs and finished their tea. Laughter felt so good. She would never take it for granted again.

“I assume Samantha is here somewhere?”

Gwen nodded. “She’s not very social just yet, but she might like to see you. She’s in your room, actually, if you want to pay her a visit.”

“I think I will.” She hugged them both one more time before heading down the hall to her room. Although, it wasn’t really her room anymore. As much as she was looking forward to marrying Fitz, she would miss this place. This had been her home for a long time, and the people here had loved her more than her actual family ever had. She smiled to herself, once again feeling so lucky to have Fitz, who was willing to create a life here because he knew it would make her happy.

She knocked softly before opening the door. Samantha sat on the edge of her bed, back straight and eyes wide with worry. She relaxed a bit when she realized it was just Daisy. She closed the door behind her and moved a chair over to sit by her, holding out a hand. Samantha hesitated a moment before placing her own on top.

Daisy squeezed it softly. “You’re going to be alright, Samantha. You’re safe here and surrounded by the most caring people you’ll ever meet.”

She nodded nervously.

“I know it’s hard to believe that. I was terrified of Ash once, too. But he really is kind and will see that you’re taken care of.”

“Michael was nice to me. I like him.”

Daisy smiled. “They’re all nice. I promise.”

“Do you think Ash is going to send me back to my brother?”

“I don’t know, but since your brother is the one who left you at that awful place, I doubt it. You’re under the protection of the men here now. Not just Ash, but Michael, Patrick, and Giles. They will protect you, even from your own brother if necessary.”

“I don’t need protecting from my brother. He’s a good man. He didn’t send me there as a punishment. He really was trying to keep me safe.”

“Well, I don’t know what’s going to happen. But I do know you’re safe here.”

“I’m not sure I really understand what this place is. Gwen has been very kind, but no one has told me what I’m supposed to do.”

Daisy squeezed her hand again. “Well, I’ve spent the last three years of my life here, so I can tell you all about it. First of all, it’s nothing like Auburn Ridge. There is no quiet time. No one will tell you when you can speak or how you should act. There are rules, of course, but they’re for your safety, not to break your spirit and force your obedience.”

Samantha nodded.

“There are no cold baths or jackets or drugs. Everyone here will welcome you with kindness, and even if I’m not living here, I’ll be close, and I’ll try to help you adjust.”

“But what is the routine? What is expected of me?”

“For now, you just need to settle in and get comfortable. Get to know the other ladies and Ash. Eventually, you’ll take on a daily chore and you’ll learn how to dance with the others.”

Samantha’s throat worked with a swallow. “When you say dance, you mean for men?”

Daisy shrugged. “Sort of. It’s not the way it sounds, though. The men are never allowed to touch you, and in many ways, it’s liberating. You’ll bond with the others and there’s a sense of camaraderie.”

Daisy was going to have to give that up now that she was marrying Fitz. It was something she was willing to sacrifice to be with him, but she’d miss it, all the same.

“You’ll learn to love it here, Samantha. I promise.”