Page 9 of A Raven Realized (The Raven’s Den #5)

Chapter Five

S imon closed his eyes, and she knew she shouldn't have said that. Why couldn’t she seem to control herself? With her music teacher, it had been simple curiosity, but with Simon, she desperately wanted to feel his lips against hers again.

“Kissing is wonderful, Madelene, not evil. But it’s also something I shouldn’t be doing with you. I’m supposed to be keeping you safe, remember?”

“Is kissing dangerous then?”

A smile grew on his lips at her teasing. “It isn’t the kissing that’s the problem, it’s that it makes me want more.”

“Is there more?” Suddenly she wanted to know what that meant.

Simon stared into her eyes for a long moment, saying nothing. He gave a small shake of his head. “I think we should probably go up to bed. We could both use some sleep.”

Disappointment and shame settled in her chest. She nodded slowly and pushed herself to her feet. “I’m sorry, Simon. I won’t ask you for those things anymore.”

“Madelene, wait.” He approached her slowly, but she didn’t turn around.

The weight of his hands settled on her shoulders, and he leaned in close to her ear.

“Ask me again.” His warm breath feathered over her skin, and she’d never wanted anything more than for him to kiss her.

But she shouldn’t, and on top of that, he didn’t want the same.

After a moment, she shook her head. “You insist that there are no demons in me, but I quite clearly want things I shouldn’t. I don’t want you to kiss me out of pity.”

He nudged her shoulders softly and she turned to face him. “If I’ve given you the impression that I do not wish to kiss you, I am sorry. That couldn’t be farther from the truth. The trouble is, kissing you makes me want things that are not mine to take.”

“Perhaps, but they are mine to give, are they not? I may be naive, and I may have led a very sheltered life, but I am not a child. I’m not even a young woman. I’m thirty years old. I might even have more years than you. How old are you, Simon?”

A bashful grin grew on his face and she knew she was right. “Point taken.”

She raised her brow. “That wasn’t an answer to my question.”

His grin was still firmly in place, and a slight blush bloomed in his cheeks. “I’m twenty-nine.”

“Perhaps I should be the one concerned with protecting your virtue then.”

He threw his head back and laughed. His constant weariness finally faded as he smiled down at her.

He cupped his hand against her face and brushed his thumb over her cheek in a gesture that was achingly tender. “There is something I need to be upfront about before anything further happens between us. I am not the marrying type.”

“Well, perhaps I’m not the marrying type either.”

His smile faded just a bit. “I’m serious, Madelene.

You’re right that you are a grown woman and capable of making your own decisions when it comes to your body.

If you want to learn about the different kinds of pleasure it can be made to feel, I will be more than happy to show you while you’re here.

But I will never be husband material, so just be sure you’re going in with your eyes open. ”

Admittedly, she was a bit shocked by his offer, but more curious than ever. “Thank you for being honest.”

“With that in mind, I’d like you to sleep on it before you decide you want to do anything in the more category, but will you honor me with a goodnight kiss?”

Why did she suddenly struggle to draw breath? It wasn't pity. The desire in his eyes left no doubt that he wanted it as much as she did. She nodded, her heart fluttering inside her chest.

“I’ll escort you up to your room first.” He held out his arm, and with a shiver of excitement, she took it.

The staircase was narrow, so she had to go in front of him. His hand settled on her waist as she climbed, and she could somehow feel his eyes locked on her backside. Was it possible he enjoyed looking at her?

When they stopped in front of the door to the room she’d be staying in, she certainly enjoyed looking at him.

His eyes, the color of stormy skies, seemed to have darkened and a hunger filled them as he gazed down at her.

But he hesitated, so she lifted up on her toes and pressed her lips against his before he could change his mind.

She was tentative at first, unsure of what to do, but then he took control.

His fingers slid into her hair and the other hand pressed against her back, pulling her tightly against him.

Suddenly, she understood how there could be more.

A frisson of excitement rushed through her.

Her nipples pressed themselves against her corset as if reaching for him, and as the heat of his mouth moved over hers, it stoked a growing desire deep in her belly.

Even in his fervor, his lips were gentle, and his obvious expertise encouraged her to reciprocate, copying his movements.

Feeling emboldened, she sucked his bottom lip between hers.

A soft groan hummed in his throat. Slowly, he eased his pressure, and his lips parted from hers, but then he pressed a line of soft kisses along her jaw to her ear, making goosebumps rise on her skin.

“Goodnight, Madelene,” he whispered. He graced her lips with one last, sweet kiss before pulling back. He turned away from her and strode down to his own room without looking back.

She didn’t move, even after his door closed behind him.

She couldn’t. Her body was frozen in place by the sheer barrage of sensations.

Her eyelids drifted closed as she gloried in the chaotic euphoria.

Her entire body tingled and her lips were both scorched from his mouth and icy from the wetness that still remained on them.

Slowly she breathed in deeply and let out a long sigh, trying to catch her breath. She stepped into the room and closed the door softly behind her. If that was only kissing, what could more possibly feel like?

* * *

What had he been thinking, offering to teach her about pleasure?

After that kiss, he’d had to take care of his own lust before he was finally able to sleep.

Her golden skin flushed with excitement, deep brown eyes dazed with desire as she looked up at him, lips parted slightly and turned up just a bit at the corners.

Even now, the picture had his manhood standing to attention.

Hopefully she would be reasonable enough to reject his offer. He sure as hell wouldn’t have the strength to say no if she didn’t. There was passion in her that she’d kept locked up tight for a lifetime, and he wanted nothing more than to release it.

But it was reckless and impulsive and he was neither of those things. He needed to focus on finding a place for her to go, and finish with his list so he could finally leave the Intelligence Services for good. Tonight, he would check off one more name and be another step closer.

For now, he needed to get out of bed and stop his lascivious thoughts of Madelene.

When he was presentable, he made his way downstairs. Her bedroom door was open and she wasn’t inside. Hopefully he hadn’t shocked her so much that she’d run off into danger. He was glad to find her sitting at the kitchen table, sipping on a cup of tea.

“Good morning, Simon. I hope you won’t mind that I made a pot of tea.”

“Does that mean there’s enough for me?”

She retrieved another cup and poured for him.

He sat opposite her, and she looked nervously down at her thumb as she brushed it along the edge of her saucer.

She hadn’t forgotten about his offer then.

Well, he wasn’t going to mention it. If she really wanted to pursue those things, she’d have to be bold enough to ask him.

“Do you have to go to work again today?” She finally looked up from her cup.

“Sort of. I won’t be going into the office, but I do have something to take care of later.”

“Will Bonnie be stopping by again today?”

“No, she only comes in twice a week. Are you afraid of being left alone here while I’m gone?”

“It’s not that. I just don’t really have anything to do. I was hoping you might have a book I could read.”

“I doubt I own anything you’d enjoy, but I have a few hours before I need to leave. We can walk down to the bookstore and find something for you before I go.”

“Thank you. I would appreciate that.”

“I’m kind of surprised your father allowed you to read if he was concerned about your demons.”

She shrugged. “If I was busy with respectable activities, I couldn’t get into trouble.

I had a governess growing up, and tutors.

I learned reading, writing, and arithmetic.

I learned the basics of how to embroider and mend.

Our cook taught me how to make a proper pot of tea and how to prepare a few very easy things like porridge.

And, as you know, I had a music teacher.

He taught me how to play the piano, and we had recently begun voice lessons. ”

Her father must have been a bit wealthier than Simon had imagined. Not that it should come as a surprise. Evil did not discriminate. Every one of the men on his list was wealthy.

“He’s not the villain you imagine him to be, Simon. He’s strict, but he loved my mother dearly, and whether or not it was actually my fault that she died, he believes it was.”

“That doesn’t excuse his mistreatment of you, Madelene. You’re thirty and have never had a suitor. It sounds as if you’ve never really left his home.”

She fidgeted with her napkin. “He said if I ever married, I would pass on my wickedness to my children.”

“Let’s not talk of your father anymore.” It only made him want to kill the man.