Page 16 of A Raven Realized (The Raven’s Den #5)

Chapter Nine

S o you’d rather someone else hurt me? He couldn’t stop hearing the words. They played over and over again as he tried to sleep. Of course he didn’t want someone else to hurt her, but what was the alternative?

He could do it himself, and that way he could at least ensure it was done gently.

That was probably just his greedy desires urging him to give into his lust. Hopefully she’d one day have a husband, though, and that was not going to be him.

Would it matter if she was no longer a virgin?

She was hardly one, even now, thanks to him.

He huffed out a sigh. What he needed to do was spend more time finding a place for her to go and less time enjoying her irresistible body.

He woke early again, after a fitful night’s sleep.

It was Sunday and he didn’t have to work, not for the Intelligence Services, at least. He would be paying a visit to one of the last men on his list tonight, though.

Before that, he wanted to get Madelene out of the house for a while.

Fresh air would do them both good. He slipped quietly out the front door and walked down to visit Suzy.

“You’re up early,” she said with a bright smile. “I hope you’re taking care not to work yourself to the bone.”

“I have today off, actually, and was hoping you might put together a picnic basket for me.”

Suzy raised her brow. “For you and Madelene?”

“Yes,” he said simply.

“Is she someone special, then?”

He shook his head. “She’s just a visitor.”

“Well, if she’s encouraging you to relax and get some sunshine, that’s fine by me.”

“And when was the last time you enjoyed some sunshine, Suzy?”

She tutted and waved her hand. “I’ll put together a basket for you. Can it wait until after I get everyone fed their breakfast?”

“Of course. Do you happen to have some scones I can take with me now?”

She wrapped up a pair of scones and as she handed them over, she grasped his hand gently. “She’s a sweet lass, Simon.”

The statement made him chuckle. Suzy would be thrilled to see him wed. He pressed a soft kiss to her cheek. “I’ll see you in a few hours.”

Madelene was in the kitchen preparing tea when he returned home. He cleared his throat softly, trying to avoid startling her again.

She smiled as she turned around. “I have a firm hold on it this time,” she said, holding the teapot aloft.

“That’s good because my hands are occupied.” He held up the scones.

She set the table for two. Apparently, she’d already cleared away their forgotten dishes from last night.

His mind hadn’t stopped replaying the activities they’d enjoyed.

Even now, he could hardly believe he’d actually been naked in the kitchen.

The warmth of a flush filled his cheeks and ears at the memory.

She was right that he hadn’t been his usual self with her.

Particular. He smiled remembering the word she’d used to describe him.

She filled both of their cups before sitting down. “What’s that smile for?”

“Nothing.” He sat down across from her, trying to ignore his lascivious thoughts as she spread jam on her scone.

“Is it your sister’s room that I’m staying in?” She probably knew exactly where his mind had gone and was graciously allowing him to not speak of it.

“It was for a time, yes.”

“Why no longer?”

“She’s living somewhere else right now.” He wasn’t sure what else to say. He didn’t want to admit that he’d left his sister at Auburn Ridge, just like Madelene’s father had her.

“What’s her name?”

“Samantha.”

“I hope you won’t mind that I looked through her things a bit.” She took a bite of her scone, her tongue darting out to collect the jam from her lips. “She’s a talented artist.”

“I don’t mind.” He forced himself to focus and chewed his own bite while considering. “I suppose you’re talking about her sketchbook?” She was right. Samantha was talented. But that sketchbook wasn’t beautiful. It was a book of horrors.

She nodded and sipped her tea. “Feel free to tell me it’s none of my business, but who is that man?”

He closed his eyes for a moment. This wasn’t something he’d talked about with anyone and wasn’t sure how much he should share. “Well, you’ll remember I mentioned the fraudulent marriage scheme?”

Her hand stopped with the scone halfway to her mouth.

“My sister was involved. That was the man she thought herself married to for five years.”

Madelene’s mouth slowly fell open and her brow dipped before she closed it again. She set the scone down on her plate. “She’s the reason you help them. The other women.”

“Well, she’s the reason I’ve made it my personal mission to see every last man involved is punished.”

She nodded slowly. “Do you kill them?”

The question stopped his lungs. She’d asked it so simply, as if she were asking if he thought it might rain, rather than if he’d ended the lives of other men. She’d asked… as if she already knew the answer.

He looked down at his plate, not really seeing it as he decided how to respond. For some reason, he had a driving need to tell her the truth. To allow her to know who he was and see if she’d abhor him for it.

“Some of them,” he said quietly as he looked up to see her expression. If anything, it grew softer. How was that possible? Why wasn’t she frightened by his confession? Had she not heard him?

“Why only some of them?”

He swallowed, disoriented by her apparent acceptance. Why wasn’t she running away from him? Or hiding? Or even cowering? “Some of them have been arrested.” It didn’t feel like an adequate response.

“I see.” She nodded and took another bite, as if this were a perfectly normal conversation. “That’s why you’re still there. Still doing the job that makes you miserable. That’s the thing you have to finish.”

He nodded, not understanding how she’d put that together so easily. “There’s just one man left who needs to be tracked down and arrested. The vicar.”

“And what about the man who hurt your sister? Was he arrested? Or did you kill him?”

“Neither.” He shook his head. “His money protected him from being arrested, and Samantha made me promise I’d let him live.”

“So he’s had no consequences?”

He huffed a cynical laugh. “I didn’t say that.” He’d paid the man more than one visit.

She nodded and then just popped the last of her scone into her mouth and wiped her fingers on her napkin.

“You don’t seem horrified, or even surprised, that I’ve killed men.”

She shrugged. “Should I be? I may have been in my own turmoil when you came into Auburn Ridge, but even to me, there was no doubt that your threat to end those men’s lives was not, in fact, a threat. It was a warning.”

“You’re surprisingly perceptive.”

“It’s the only way I got to know anything about anyone. I wasn’t allowed to interact with the people in my household, so instead, I observed them. I listened to their words and their tone and I watched their movements. I suppose I’ve had a lot of practice.”

“The knowledge that I would have killed them, that doesn’t scare you? Doesn’t make you worry that I might be violent with you?”

She shook her head.

“But it did scare you when I confronted the man by the flower shop.”

She shook her head again. “Quite the opposite, actually. It confirmed that my suspicions about your capabilities were correct.”

“I don’t understand. Why didn’t that frighten you?”

“In that moment, I saw what is undoubtedly only a glimpse of the strength you’re capable of, and yet you’ve never been anything but gentle with me.”

“But you flinched when I touched your back after that.”

“That wasn’t about you.” She sighed and fidgeted for a moment before explaining.

”I felt dirty. Unworthy of your kindness.

There must have been something about me that enticed that man to touch me.

A wickedness that draws men in perhaps? I worried…

I still worry, if I’m honest, that it might be the same thing that’s happening with you.

But with you, I just enjoy it too much to question it further. ”

It wasn’t right that she thought those things about herself.

He reached across the table to take her hand.

“I promise it isn’t wickedness that draws me to you, Madelene.

It’s your sweet, caring nature. Your curiosity, passion, and beauty.

And more than anything, your trust. I don’t know why you trust me, but it makes me want you in ways I’ve never wanted anyone before.

In ways I probably shouldn’t, but I just can’t seem to resist.”

“If you can’t resist, then how can you be so certain I haven’t bewitched you?”

Oh, she’d bewitched him, but not in the way she meant. He’d been worried about her giving him her heart, but he was the one in danger of falling. No one in his life knew who he truly was. Until now. Until her.

And even after everything he’d confessed, she still saw him not as a monster, but as a man.

* * *

Madelene had never experienced a picnic before.

She’d read about them in books, but had never actually attended one herself.

It was strange but wonderful. Eating while sitting on a blanket on the ground seemed somehow wrong, but doing it with Simon made it feel just right.

Kind of like everything seemed to be with him.

Simon lounged on his side, the remaining bits of their lunch between them. They’d been there a few hours, and the sun was moving lower in the sky, but it still sparkled in his eyes as he laughed.

They weren’t alone in the park. Others were taking advantage of the day’s wonderful weather, as well. Madelene’s gaze followed a giggling toddler as he ran past their blanket, his mother not far behind, shaking her head but smiling all the same.