Page 22 of A Raven Realized (The Raven’s Den #5)

Chapter Fourteen

M adelene dropped her knife with a clatter.

Pain and fear knotted in her stomach, threatening to cast up the scone she’d been eating.

But then, as he’d taught her to do, she veiled her emotions.

Showing her pain would only make him feel guilty.

She sat up a little straighter and picked up her knife and dipped it into the pot of jam.

This was always the plan, after all. Staying with him forever had never been an option.

“Really? That is good news, indeed.” She forced herself to smile before taking another bite.

“Mrs. Appleridge was a friend of your mother’s. She has a comfortable country home in Scotland. I’m sure it’s beautiful. She’ll be here in a few hours to meet you, and she is thrilled at the prospect of your companionship.”

Scotland? No.

She would never see Simon again.

She should be happy. Should be grateful for the time and effort Simon had put into finding her a place to go and delighted that someone was kind enough to take her in and give her a home.

“A few hours?” She looked down at her plate. She wasn’t ready.

Simon reached across the table. “I know starting a new life is daunting. I looked into her background in every way I could, and she appears to be a good person. If that changes when we meet her, if you don’t like her, I won’t make you go with her.”

Madelene nodded, afraid if she opened her mouth to speak, a sob might break through instead.

A few hours later, they stood together at the station, waiting for Mrs. Appleridge’s train to arrive. Dread filled her stomach as the train approached. Why couldn’t she just be grateful for what Simon had provided her?

This life was never meant to be hers, and she was lucky to have lived it for the short time she had. It would have to suffice.

Breathing in deeply, she straightened her spine. She smiled up at Simon. “Thank you,” she said, squeezing his hand.

“Don’t thank me yet. She could still be an evil hag.” He winked at her, a teasing grin turning up his lips. Even in that moment, he was doing his utmost to make her comfortable.

Madelene searched the crowds as people disembarked.

How was she going to know which one was Mrs. Appleridge?

But then a woman stepped down and when her eyes found Madelene, a wide smile grew on her face.

She was beautiful. Her grey hair was styled fashionably, but she wore all black.

Was she in mourning? She walked straight for them.

“You must be Madelene.”

Madelene nodded, unsure if she should speak or not.

Simon stepped forward. “Thank you for coming, Mrs. Appleridge. I’m Simon Allister.”

“It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Mr. Allister. I was overjoyed to receive your telegram.”

She turned back to Madelene and raised a gloved hand to her cheek. “You look so like your mother. I could almost believe you were her.”

Did she? This woman had known her mother.

Did she know Madelene was the reason she was dead?

She looked down at her hands, wishing she could just hide, but she couldn’t. Simon and Mrs. Appleridge had both gone to a lot of trouble for her. It was time to stop feeling sorry for herself.

Gathering her courage, she stood up straight and pushed up the corners of her lips before finally meeting the woman’s gaze. “It’s lovely to meet you Mrs. Appleridge.”

“Please, call me Selma.”

A man approached, carrying what must be her luggage. “This is my manservant, Lamsley.”

But the smile she gave him as she turned, suggested he was more than just a manservant. At the very least, he was her friend.

“Will you take our luggage to the hotel? I imagine Mr. Allister will see me safely delivered this evening.”

“I most certainly will,” Simon assured her.

Lamsley gave her a nod and strode from the platform.

“I thought perhaps you ladies would like to stroll through the park while you get to know one another. It’s a beautiful day and we have a few hours of sunlight left.”

“That sounds delightful. Lead the way, Mr. Allister.” She held out an arm for Madelene. Her smile was contagious, and soon, the one she’d forced, was replaced by one of genuine enjoyment.

As they strolled through the park, arm in arm, Simon fell back. Protective without being overbearing, like always.

“Will you tell me about your home, Mrs. Appleridge?”

“Selma,” she corrected. “It’s beautiful. You’ll be getting there just in time to watch everything come back to life. Green will be creeping up the hills a little more each day. Of course, you’ll still need a sturdy shawl. The winds can be a bit brisk.”

Madelene’s confidence faltered. “I don’t have a shawl. Truth be told, I don’t really have anything.”

“Don’t you worry.” She pulled her in a little tighter. “I’ll see that you have everything you need.”

“Why would you do that? Why would you take me on when I will only be a burden?”

“You’re not a burden, Madelene. You’re a blessing.

You see, I always dreamed of having a daughter, but I was never gifted with one.

” She let out a long sigh. “Your mother and I were very close, and when she passed, I offered to take you and raise you as my own, but that only made your father angry. He refused to even allow me to hold you and forbade me from ever returning after that.”

Madelene stopped and turned to face her. “You did? Really?” Why would her father refuse that when Madelene had never been anything but a bother to him?

Selma cupped her cheek. “Of course I did. You were a precious, newborn babe, with no mother. And I, a woman desperate to be a mother, but with no babe.” She shrugged. “So you see, this is like a second chance for me.”

Madelene looked back at Simon. He raised a brow, asking if she needed him. She smiled her reassurance and shook her head slightly. Her feelings were all a jumble.

“Are you alright?”

Madelene turned back to Selma, tearing her eyes away from Simon’s. She nodded. But talking about her father and mother, and what could have been, was upsetting, so she began strolling again and moved the conversation to something else.

“You don’t need to answer this if you’d prefer not to, but when did you lose your husband?”

“Many years ago now.” She waved her hand as if it were long forgotten.

Madelene’s gaze swept over her black dress and Selma laughed.

“Oh, that’s why you asked. Let me tell you a secret.

Widow’s garb is like a shield. I wear it most of the time if I’m away from home because it helps men to keep their gazes and hands to themselves. ”

“Perhaps I need to dress as a widow as well.”

Her laughter was unexpected. Madelene hadn’t wanted to like Selma, but she did. She was kind, funny, and sweet. That should make the prospect of leaving Simon easier, but somehow it did the opposite. She wanted to share her happiness with him.

The sun was hanging low in the sky but it was still a lovely evening, so they walked the short distance to the hotel.

“It was such a pleasure to meet you, Madelene. You are a beautiful, wonderful woman, and your mother would be proud of you.”

Would she? A tear trickled from the corner of Madelene’s eye.

Selma pulled her aside and wrapped her arms around her before whispering into her ear.

“As much as I would love to have your company and companionship, you need to make this decision for yourself. Promise me you’ll think long and hard about what is going to be best for you, and no one else. ”

After a moment, Madelene nodded. “Thank you, Selma.”

She smiled and squeezed Madelene’s hands before letting her go. “I’ll see you both in the morning.”

When they got home, a basket of food waited for them in the kitchen, along with a bottle of wine. Suzy had apparently made a delivery while they were out.

“Well, Mrs. Appleridge certainly seems to like you.” He dished them both a plate and sat across from her at the table. “And you seemed to get along well with her. I was so glad to see the pair of you laughing together.”

Madelene nodded. She looked down at her plate and scooted her peas around in circles.

He poured them both some wine. “I think we should toast to your new life.” His eyes were bright and filled with encouragement as he raised his glass.

“I don’t want to go with her,” she said softly.

Slowly, he lowered his glass back to the table with a sigh. “I know change is frightening, but she’s a kind woman and I have no doubt that she will dote on you as a mother would.”

Madelene didn’t doubt that either. That wasn’t the problem.

“When my mother died, Selma offered to take me and raise me as her own. Did you know that?”

“I didn’t, but that’s all the more evidence that she will love you and it’s the right place for you to go.”

But she didn’t want to go. And with one little word, she could convince him to let her stay. Because despite what he thought, he was kind, caring, honorable, and utterly selfless. But it would be selfish to force herself on him.

Madelene nodded and squeezed his hand. “I’m not sure how I can ever thank you enough for everything you’ve done for me.”

Her statement seemed to amuse him. “If anyone should be showing gratitude, it’s me.

The time I’ve had with you has been a more magnificent experience than I will ever be deserving of.

” His smile quirked up on one side as his eyes darkened.

“Why don’t we go upstairs so I can show you just how grateful I am? ”

Butterflies fluttered in her stomach and her sadness faded. She nodded. If this was to be her last night with him, she would enjoy every second of it. There’d be plenty of time for sadness later.

Even after all they’d done, his kiss still sent a frisson of excitement racing through her. His lips parted and she reached her tongue inside to dance with his.