Page 21 of A Raven Realized (The Raven’s Den #5)

Chapter Thirteen

T hat night, as Simon climbed the stairs to his bedroom, Fogg’s hand rested against his back to make sure he was steady. He didn’t want his help. Didn’t want to need his help.

Madelene hurried ahead to light some lamps and turned back the blankets. Fogg walked to the wardrobe and pulled out some clean pajamas. “I’ll help you get changed.”

“I can help him,” Madelene said.

Fogg raised a brow, his eyes moving between the two of them.

“I don’t need help,” Simon said, tugging the pajamas out of Fogg’s hands. “I’m just fine. Practically back to my normal self.”

Fogg turned to Madelene, then. “Would you mind giving us a few minutes? We need to talk about some things.”

Simon closed his eyes. He didn’t want to talk.

He just wanted to be alone, to prove to himself and to everyone else that he was perfectly capable.

But none of that was true. He was not perfectly capable right now.

And he also didn’t want to be alone. He wanted to hold Madelene’s soft body in his arms while she slept.

Her eyes were on him, waiting for a response. He gave her a nod. “Why don’t you go and change too?”

After a bit of hesitation, she sighed and left the room.

“You’re going to have to learn to be part of a team, Allister.”

“How can I possibly be part of a team? I was distracted and far too cocky, and it nearly got me killed. Would you want to be on a team with someone who makes mistakes like that?”

“Have you forgotten who you’re talking to?”

The reminder took the wind out of Simon’s sails. Fogg’s mistake had cost a woman her life, and his subsequent use of opium to numb his resulting guilt had lost him his job and nearly his life. Simon shook his head, but still felt like it wasn’t the same.

“We all make mistakes, Allister, but when we work together, we always have someone there to watch our back.”

“You’re his manservant, Fogg. It’s not as if you’re riding into battle with him.”

He chuckled, but he didn’t respond to the jibe. “How many more do you have on your list?”

“Just one, and I can’t kill the blackguard. He has to be arrested. It’s the vicar, Warwick’s younger brother, and we’ve had a hard time tracking him down, but I think we’re getting close.”

“And then what?”

“And then, if he’ll have me, I’ll come and work for Ash. Although, I don’t know in what capacity.” He shrugged. “I owe him a great deal, though, so I’m willing to do whatever he asks of me. I just need to finish with the Intelligence Services, and get Madelene settled somewhere.”

“She seems pretty settled where she is if you ask me.”

“I didn’t ask you,” Simon said grumpily as he slipped his arms into the clean pajama top. “I’ve already told you, I’m not husband material.”

“Not even after you change jobs?”

Simon dropped Fogg’s pajama trousers on the bed and donned the clean pair. “Not even then.”

“I’ll want those back, you know.”

“I’ll do you the courtesy of having them laundered first. It seems like the least I can do after everything.”

“I won’t argue with that.”

“Listen, Fogg, I’m sorry about what I said. I know you’re more than Ash’s valet. I didn’t mean to offend… well, yes I did, actually. But I shouldn’t have. I’m just…” He could feel the weight of everything he’d ever done, crushing him.

“I know. I’ve been there. Whatever remains of your soul is tired. It’s time for you to leave. Probably long past time.”

Simon could only nod.

“Besides, you didn’t offend me. You see, we each play our role. We’re all part of something larger than ourselves. Ash and the other partners may be at the helm, but the ship doesn’t sail without all of us doing our part.”

“That, and you’re a hell of a lot more than just a valet.”

He shrugged. “That too.”

“What did you find out about the investigation into Webber’s death?”

“Turns out he’s not very popular, and everybody seems to think he had it coming. Nothing will ever come of it.”

Relief washed over him. “Thank you.”

“Now why don’t you get into bed, and I’ll send Madelene in to see that you’re taken care of.” There was a mischievous gleam in his eyes.

“Make sure she locks up behind you.”

Fogg nodded and left the room. Simon groaned as he climbed into bed.

Even if he hadn’t wanted to admit it, he was exhausted.

His body was weak and his muscles ached with fatigue.

He could almost hear them creaking as he settled in.

The bed at Raven House was no doubt of a higher quality, but it felt good to be back in his own.

He pulled the blanket up to his chin to try and dispatch the lingering chill. With a weary sigh, his eyes slid shut.

When Simon woke, he felt so much better, it was hard to believe only a few hours had passed.

But most of the light in the room was still from the streetlamps.

His head was finally clear, and he was actually warm.

Some of that had undoubtedly come from Madelene.

Her head was on his shoulder, her arm and leg both draped over him.

It was divine. He didn’t even remember her coming in.

He must have fallen asleep, and she’d climbed in with him anyway.

As he shifted, he caught a glimpse under the blanket. She was naked. Dear God. Desire surged through him. He should just let her sleep, but he was desperate for her. He slid a hand down her back and grasped her backside. Her eyes fluttered open and she smiled.

“Yes,” she whispered.

Any fleeting restraint he may have had vanished. He claimed her mouth, crushing his lips against hers. Her hand slipped into the back of his waistband and grasped his backside in turn.

“Mmmm. Yes,” he said, looking into her eyes.

“Will you teach me how I can pleasure with my mouth, Simon? Like you did for me?”

Jesus. He closed his eyes, trying to control the lust that stormed through him. “Yes but not… not this time. This time I want to make love to you. If you still wish to give it, I want all of you.”

Her lips parted slightly and she looked into his eyes. “You mean you want to be inside my body?”

He nodded.

“Yes, I want that, Simon.”

“Are you certain? It would mean you’re no longer a virgin.”

“I’m certain.”

Simon’s heart thumped as he unbuttoned his shirt. He pulled it off and threw it over the side of the bed. Her skin was warm and soft against his as he pulled her in for another kiss. He brushed his thumb over her nipple and she moaned into his mouth.

He pulled away from her lips and slid down to draw the other nipple into his mouth. She groaned, her back arching. He loved the way she tasted. The way her nipple hardened as he flicked his tongue over it.

He needed more. He skimmed his hand over her stomach and dipped a finger between her thighs. She quickly spread them, giving him easier access. She was hot and slick, and sliding along her flesh was like heaven. He suckled her nipple once more as he slowly slid one finger into her body.

She gasped and he raised his head to see if she wanted him to stop. Her lips turned up in a smile and she nodded. “Yes.”

Her soft walls hugged his finger as he moved it slowly in and out. It was impossible not to imagine it was his manhood instead.

When her breathing was fast and heavy, he carefully added a second finger.

“Still yes?”

“Yes,” she panted. “But I want this.” She reached down and pressed her palm over the needy bulge in his trousers.

He untied them and kicked them off before settling himself between her legs. “Are you really, really certain you want this… with me? We can still stop.”

She placed her hands on the sides of his face and looked into his eyes. “Simon. Are you sure you want it?”

“God yes. It’s all I could think about as I rode for Raven Row. I was terrified I may have missed my opportunity to share this experience with you.”

Her smile grew as he spoke. “Then believe me when I say I’m certain. I want you, Simon. I trust you.” She opened her legs wider for him.

He kissed her with everything he could give. For some unknown reason, she trusted him, and whether he deserved it or not, he cherished it. He ducked down and drew her nipple into his mouth, suckling until she was gasping for breath and clearly desperate.

He pressed himself gently into her body just a bit, raising himself to look into her eyes. “Tell me if I’m hurting you.”

“You’re not hurting me,” she said, shaking her head. But it was a lie. He could see the strain she was trying to hide. He pulled out of her and she gasped.

“No, Simon, don’t leave me!”

“I know I taught you to put on a brave face and hide your pain and your fear, but not from me. Never from me. And especially not right now.”

She nodded. “Please. I want it.”

“Was it hurting?”

“A little bit,” she admitted.

“But you still want it?”

“Yes. More than anything.”

“Alright. Let’s do it a little differently, though. I want to bring you pleasure first.”

* * *

Well, Madelene certainly wouldn’t argue with that. He made his way slowly down her body, kissing a path over her stomach. He pressed her thighs further apart and the tip of his tongue flicked over her, startling a gasp from her as pleasure shot through her body.

He flicked again, teasing her with his tongue, but then he slid a finger into her body.

She squeezed him with her muscles and he groaned, his deep voice purring against her flesh as his finger moved slowly in and out.

He added a second finger and pushed deep, his tongue continuing to draw out her pleasure. She needed more. Needed him.

“Simon, please. I need you inside me. Please.”

He pulled his fingers out and plunged into her before she even realized what was happening. She gasped. Pain mixed with the overwhelming pleasure.

“Are you alright?”

“Yes.” She nodded desperately. “Keep going.”

He pulled out and plunged in again, more slowly this time. “You’re sure?”

“Yes,” she said, and he did it again. “Oh, yes.”

The pain faded as her desperate need for release grew. She gripped her fingers into his hair, pulling his mouth down to hers. She could taste herself as she kissed him and the memory of what he’d been doing pushed her ever closer to the edge.

“Simon! Yes!” They were the only words she could manage before pleasure surged through her. She called out with her release, throwing her head back and pushing her hips up to meet him.

With a roar, he pulled out of her. His seed spilled over her stomach as he reached his own peak, his body jerking with each wave of pleasure.

As he calmed, he smiled down at her before collapsing beside her.

“I need a minute, but I promise I’ll clean up my mess.”

She pressed her lips to his shoulder as she struggled to catch her breath. “There’s no rush. I’m not going anywhere.”

He turned his face toward her. “I hope the pain wasn’t terrible.”

“The pain was there barely a moment, but the pleasure was incredible.”

“Good. From now on there will be only pleasure.”

He was right. Over the next few days, they fell into a bit of a rhythm. She’d make them tea in the morning, he’d go into the office, Suzy would bring her food to eat, and after he came home, he’d show her a new way to make love. Each one as incredible as the last.

It was perfect. A life she’d never dreamed she could have.

But this morning, something was different. He’d woken earlier than usual, picked up some scones from Suzy, and was eating with her. It should be a good thing, but something wasn’t quite right. He was tense and quiet as he chewed.

“I have good news.” He smiled, but she wasn’t convinced.

“Well then, do share.”

“I’ve found you a home.”