Page 55 of A Promise of Lies (Shadows of the Tenebris Court #3)

54

Bastian

S queezing the reins, I bent my head into the rush of wind, letting it blast my face and tug on my hair. I wanted it to drive every thought from my head. I wanted to be empty. That would be easier. If I didn’t think, I could keep being the Night Queen’s Shadow, the Serpent of Tenebris, its Bastard.

But it felt like Bastian Marwood was falling apart, leaving pieces of himself on the road behind us.

Because I could not reconcile their choices. The Serpent was supposed to choose the queen. But Bastian wanted to choose his queen.

It was impossible.

So I ran away. The task Braea had set me didn’t really require my personal attention and there were quicker methods of travel, but I needed this. Plus, I had a feeling Kat would sleep better without me tonight—if I stayed away there could be no arguments.

Yes, I was a coward.

“You in a rush?” Faolán shouted as he caught up.

Below, my stag’s chest heaved. I was pushing the creature too hard. Almost as hard as I had the night I’d brought Kat to Elfhame and raced to the Hall of Healing. I called for him to slow. “Sorry, I just…”

“Looked like you were trying to outpace your thoughts.” Faolán glanced back—the city was a distant smear, reflecting the morning sun. “Never managed it myself, but let me know if you do. Or… I hear talking helps.”

I gave him a look out the corner of my eye. “You, the person who barely strings more than a dozen words together are advising me to talk about my feelings?”

“I said thoughts, not feelings, but whichever works for you.” He shrugged, patting his stag’s shoulder as it reached for a low-hanging branch of new growth—beyond the city’s magically influenced warmth, spring was only just breaking through the cold. “Rose says I’m a good listener.”

“Because you barely talk,” I grumbled.

We rode on in silence for a long while. Maybe it was because he didn’t try to fill it that I found myself speaking at last. I kept it factual—all the things I’d discovered, the information Kat had found in Dawn, her opinions about the queen, the secrets Kaliban had revealed in the dungeons, and, finally, the truth about Braea and the Horrors.

I finished with, “I don’t want to believe any of it.”

“Oh?” It was the first sound he’d made since I’d started. Part of me had wondered if he’d fallen asleep in the saddle.

“If it’s true, then what and who have I been fighting for all this time?”

He rubbed his beard. “Sounds like someone who sees us as—what are the little ones in chess? Pawns? We’re all those to her, not people who want peace, stability, long lives… families.”

“I always thought… I thought she felt the same way I did.”

I weighed my actions and decisions against what was for the good of the people, their protection and safety. Had I just assumed she did the same?

“Hmm.” It was a pregnant sound that pulled me from my spine-crumbling misery.

“What?”

“Haven’t you been acting against her for a while? Keeping secrets, like Cyrus’s guilt, Kat’s spying, clues about the Crown.”

I laughed, throat tight. “That isn’t acting against her! It’s just… holding back some information.”

Eyebrow raised, he gave me a look that cut through my excuses.

I had been playing a game behind her back, convincing myself that it didn’t count because it wasn’t direct action against her.

“She still didn’t answer me about Kat, you know.”

“I did notice that. She’d rather tell you about the Horrors than admit what happened in that room with Cyrus. There’s your answer.”

“So not only are people pawns to her, but my person is just another expendable piece on the board. I thought she cared about me. I thought…”

“Hmm. Even though Sepher played us all, he did it to keep the people he cared about safe.”

The idea that Sepher treated people better than Braea did was a sobering one that kept us quiet for a long while.

Eventually, I shook my head. “You haven’t said anything about my mother.”

“Makes no difference to me. Though I was wondering—do you think the queen knows? Subconsciously, maybe? She’s always favoured you.”

“No. Kat thinks I’d be dead if she did.”

“ Well …”

Head falling back, I sighed. “Don’t tell me you do too.”

“She had two daughters.” He held up two fingers. “Both are dead by her hand. I’m not the best at maths, but…” He folded down those two fingers and showed me his fist.

“But you work for her. Don’t you?—?”

“No. I work for you . My loyalty lies with you . Rose is the same. And I’d bet good money Orpha, Brynan, and all your other operatives feel the same.”

That deflated me and I found myself frowning at the road ahead. “You sound like Kat. She said others don’t see me as I see myself. They looked to me in a crisis.”

“We do. And gods know we’ve had enough of those recently. Even if no one knows who you are, you’re already a good prince.” His gaze slid to me along with a sly smile. “As long as you don’t expect me to bow to you now.”

I laughed, something that had seemed impossible when we’d left Tenebris-Luminis. “Thank you, Faolán.”

We arrived at the estate of a reclusive older fae who read the queen’s message with pursed lips. Despite her obvious irritation, she let us take the books Braea had requested—enough to require the both our stags.

She offered us shelter from the new moon, but we still had some hours before nightfall, and I wanted to get back to the city, if possible. We’d be cutting it fine, but it was worth a try, and there was a last inn we could stay at if we didn’t make it in time. Now I’d had a chance to talk to Faolán, I wanted nothing more than to speak to Kat. The sooner, the better.

But the weather had different ideas, and rain muddied the way for much of the afternoon. Despite our efforts, we were still a couple of hours away as the sun dipped lower and lower and the sky darkened. We would have to stop at the last inn before Tenebris, over an hour from the city gates. There was no sign of it yet, though, and Faolán’s shoulders grew tighter and tighter as we raced the sunset.

The Wild Hunt would ride soon, and no one wanted to lose their soul to such creatures.

Only when entered a gloomy green valley did Faolán speak. “There it is.” Ahead, the inn nestled in the vale, cosy and safe from the night’s threats. “I’m not giving you the bed if they only have one, Your Highness .” He flashed a grin and galloped ahead.

“No respect,” I muttered, urging my stag after him.

Thankfully, I didn’t need to sleep on the floor—they had space. We soon had our stags settled in the stables before hurrying along the path lined with white narcissi and into the inn. A warm common room welcomed us, and we set ourselves up at a table near the door, with full plates and tankards that refilled the moment they got in danger of emptying. They were scant comfort to my frustration at being so close to the city and yet not able to make it before nightfall.

I was starting on my second ale and Faolán on his second plate of food, when he suddenly cocked his head. “There’s someone out there.”

I straightened, putting down my tankard, one hand going to my sword. “The Hunt?”

“No, it’s…” He paused, listening. “They’re on foot. Alone.”

“If the Wild Hunt catch them, they’re dead… or worse.”

“Well, they can stay out there,” the innkeeper snapped. “Not opening my doors on a new moon.”

“No, it’s— shit .” Faolán was on his feet, throwing the bar up on the door.

Without thought, I blocked the swearing innkeeper from reaching him.

Rose burst in, panting.

Faolán slammed the door behind her, making the whole building quiver. “What the bloody hells are you doing out in this?” He was cantankerous at the best of times, but I’d never seen him look so utterly furious. I almost didn’t recognise him. “You do know it’s the new moon, don’t you? You do know their hounds will scent you? You do?—?”

“She knows.” I smoothed a hand onto his shoulder, but he shook me off and stood glaring at her, as, hands on knees, she caught her breath. “I thought you had more faith in Rose than that.”

He paced into the centre of the room, grumbling that I didn’t understand.

“I made it, didn’t I?” She straightened, tugging her coat tighter. It was only then I took in her bare legs and feet poking out the bottom. She’d shifted to her wolf form to come here, carrying her coat in the bag now slung over her shoulder. “This couldn’t wait until morning. In fact, I think the new moon is important.”

I frowned at her in question as Faolán turned.

“The queen has Kat. There are Horrors in the palace. And I don’t know what the hells the queen’s doing, but Sura’s infiltration was on a new moon. If she was going for the gauntlet…”

All warmth left me. I wasn’t sure how Kat or the Horrors fitted into Braea’s plans and I dreaded finding out, but I knew one thing. “She’s going after the Crown.”

Faolán growled. “And we’re stranded here.”