Page 11 of A Promise of Lies (Shadows of the Tenebris Court #3)

10

Kat

I heard the words. I played them again in my head until I finally understood what they meant.

Marriage to Bastian.

My stomach dropped, and at the same moment, my heart lurched into my throat like they were trying to run away from each other.

“If we’re married, they can’t keep us separated. It’s taboo, even for a king.” He squeezed my hips, prompting. “You’ll be able to come home right away. They can’t keep a wife away from her husband.”

Wife. Husband . My skin flushed hot then cold at the words as nausea coiled in my stomach, vines knotting tight.

The man I loved was on his knees, proposing, and I was supposed to feel… happy. My heart was supposed to leap with joy, my stomach somersault, my eyes fill with tears.

But I could only gape at him, unable to breathe, as my head shook, slowly at first, then growing faster. “No. I—I can’t.”

He frowned and caught my hands as they clasped together, giving them a little shake. “Kat. I understand it’s not the most romantic proposal, but we need to be practical about this. I’ve thought of all the ways to get you home and this is the quickest and the only one guaranteed to work. We need to get you the fuck out of?—”

“I can’t.”

“No, Katherine, I can’t. I can’t watch you living in Dawn. I can’t keep you safe. I can’t bear knowing you’re in their clutches and that we could fix it so easily. You do understand Cyrus won’t hesitate to use you to hurt Dusk—to hurt me?” His frown deepened, the lines scoured dark by a passing fae light. “He must know how I feel about you. And that aside, he would hurt you just for the pleasure of seeing your pain. You heard what Sepher did to Zita, how he humiliated her. Cyrus is worse. So much worse.”

His frown slackened and something different crept onto his face—something I only remembered from drifting in and out of consciousness, half mad with pain.

Fear.

“Say yes and come home. Don’t let your pride keep you in danger. I’ll ask you a million times, each more romantic than the one before, but right now, I need you home .”

“Pride?” I bit out the word as anger roused me from my threatening panic. “ Romance ? Don’t you know me at all, Bastian Marwood? You think it’s pride that keeps me from saying yes?” I yanked my hands from his grip. Good gods, I could’ve slapped him.

And maybe he heard that in my tone, because he blinked and jerked back as though I had struck him. It was like he finally saw me as he took in my trembling hands and the delicate hair on my arms straining to attention.

“What is it? What’s wrong?” His voice softened, the frustration fading with each word, but it was still there, hard beneath the syllables like rock beneath soil. “Talk to me. Help me understand. Because right now I can’t see why we shouldn’t marry. We love each other. This will get you home. It will keep you safe. I cannot see a single reason against it.”

I bit my tongue, trying to dampen my anger, because he sounded so reasonable. Yes, I did love him, and I wanted to get out of Dawn. And yet…

He rose slowly, like he didn’t want to spook me further, and cupped my shoulders. “You can tell me.”

Nodding, I released my tongue. I had to remember who this was—he may be frustrated, but I was safe. He wasn’t about to throw half a dinner service at me. “I love you, Bastian, but… I can’t marry you.”

The creases deepened, like he was fighting to understand. “If you don’t want to be married to me, that’s fine. We can marry, get you home, then dissolve it as soon as you’re safe. It doesn’t have to… we don’t have to tell people it means anything.”

I huffed, which helped loosen my chest. “You just tried to say, ‘It doesn’t have to mean anything,’ didn’t you? And you couldn’t.”

His flattening mouth was all the answer I needed.

“It’s not that I can’t marry you. I can’t marry anyone . The whole idea is abhorrent to me. Surely you can understand that.”

His eyes shifted away, though his shoulders remained square and tight.

“I choose you, Bastian. I have chosen you a hundred times before tonight, and I’ll choose you at every chance I get. But I will not ever choose marriage, and I won’t be forced into it again.”

Eyes wide, he exhaled a short, sharp breath as though I’d hit him—a punch to the gut this time. His shoulders sank, the last of his frustration evaporating. “Shit. Fuck.” He screwed his eyes shut and scrubbed his face over and over. “Forced. Of course you won’t. Of course . I’m sorry—I hadn’t even stopped to… All I could think about was getting you home. I’m so sorry.”

I caught his hands and pulled them away. “You’re going to damage your face if you keep that up. And I’m quite fond of your face.”

A chuckle huffed from his lips as he shook his head. “I’m glad of it. And I’m truly sorry for being a thoughtless idiot.” He slid his palms against my cheeks, fingertips into my hair, and kissed me.

I shivered at the slow overwhelm of his lips on mine, like he was an entire world and not just one person. It had only been a week since we’d last kissed, but it might as well have been glacial ages where ice had carved me hollow.

Too soon, he pulled away and pressed his brow to mine. “Stars above, what did I do to deserve you?”

I slipped my hands over his and squeezed. “I thought we always said, ‘Fuck deserve.’”

He scoffed. “Maybe that’s why we say it. If I only got what I deserved, then I wouldn’t have you. And I’m not noble enough to give you up.”

“There’s my villain.” I kissed his palm, savouring the salt of his skin.

He made a sound low in his throat. “I am. Always. And I will plot and scheme to get you back.” He led me to the bench and pulled me into his lap, talking through avenues we might try to get me home soon.

“I could offer Braea a bargain. She demands your return, and I offer her… I don’t know, something as payment. Though I’m not sure what I can give that she doesn’t already have.” While he traced circles on my back, he scowled at the courtyard’s fountain as though that had stolen me away. “I hate this dress, by the way. His choice, I’m guessing.” His gaze flicked to me, then back to the fountain as he went on with other ideas.

Yet none of them would work. Not really.

It had become clear, not over the past few days, but over months and perhaps even years. For all I had been obsessed with safety, I had never actually been safe.

Before the queen’s summons to Lunden, I had hidden from the lion, but I hadn’t been free from it. Now, living in Dawn Court, I found myself living with one. All fawning had done was appease it with a tasty morsel—for now. Next time it was hungry, I’d be in danger once more.

As a child, I’d heard a story about a man who pulled a thorn from a lion’s paw, so later the lion spared his life. A sweet tale, but mercy didn’t come into Cyrus’s vocabulary. This predator needed to be removed entirely.

“Bastian.” I stilled his touch on my thigh, as though that might still his thoughts. “None of these plans will work—not because they aren’t good plans, but… because me returning to Dusk isn’t the answer.”

He turned from the fountain to me, eyelids fluttering. “ What ?”

“Even if I come back, there will still be the danger of Cyrus hanging over us, won’t there?”

“At least you won’t be in his court. That will stop him from?—”

“He’s behind the assassination. And I have evidence of it—or, at least, I’ve seen the evidence.” If I had it in my hands, life might be easier. I explained what I’d seen as I’d bent to kiss Cyrus’s knuckles—the gold and scarlet thread that perfectly matched the fake Hydra Ascendant insignias. “It might not be enough to prove it to others, but I know it was him. And if that evidence exists, then there must be more.”

Bastian scowled, gaze distant as he went back to tracing patterns on my thigh.

“If I come home, we’ll be together—and believe me, I want nothing more—but Cyrus will still be on the throne. He killed his own father, along with countless innocents from his own court. He’s far more dangerous than Lucius.”

A low rumbling sound came from Bastian’s chest. “Because he doesn’t give a shit about the established rules that maintain the peace.”

“Exactly. He’s capable of anything. We need to prove his guilt and get him off the throne.”

“You think we’d be better off with King Sepher?”

“Maybe?” I bobbed my shoulders. “In this instance, I’m willing to take an unknown quantity over Cyrus.”

Bastian gave a deep sigh, pulling me closer like he only wanted to keep me safe and fuck everything else.

I couldn’t blame him. It was mighty tempting to lose myself in his hold, in our courtyard, and pretend nothing else existed. Eyes shut, I wrapped my arms around his neck and indulged in that fantasy.

It lasted for only a second before I stroked a finger along his ear, making him jolt. Hopefully, it pulled his attention back to the wider world that stretched beyond the circle of our arms. “He might know about the Crown and go after that. Now he’s had success with one monarch, he might assassinate another. There are a dozen things he could be plotting.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Exactly. We don’t know . And other than whoever he worked with, I’m the only person in Dawn who knows he’s behind the attacks.”

A muscle in his jaw twitched. “What are you saying?”

“It’s safer in the long run to solve this bigger problem. To get to something better, we have to go through this struggle, even if it upsets your courts.” I didn’t quite say “silly little courts” but the sentiment ran through my tone.

The muscle went solid. “You think there’s a problem with our courts?”

“You don’t? Can’t you see how the separation breeds mistrust and exactly this kind of plot? Didn’t Cyrus design the attack to make it look like Dusk was responsible? Honestly, it’s a miracle the system has lasted this long.”

His eyes went wide, but I was too tired and too comfortable with him to mind my tongue. Thoughts that had only wafted around my head half formed spilled out. “A country is meant to serve its people as much as they’re meant to serve it. It’s meant to ensure they’re safe. Yet Cyrus is responsible for how many deaths? And now he’s pointing the finger at Dusk and at shapechangers. He’s dividing your people even further, so no one ever thinks to look at him.”

“What are you saying? You want to get rid of the courts?”

“That’s not what I said.” But did it lie between my words? I shook my head. It was too big an idea and impossible to achieve, even if I did want it. Another wish that wasn’t worth considering. “We need to get rid of Cyrus. That’s the pressing issue. If I can get evidence of his guilt, that will do it, right?”

He tensed under me and made a noncommittal grumble. “Why do I feel like I’m going to hate what you’re about to say even more than the idea of getting rid of the courts?”

I soothed the soft skin of his earlobes until his eyelids drooped. “I was employed to spy not so long ago, and I might not have been very good at it—too distracted by a rather handsome fae lord with a thoroughly wicked tongue—but now I have another chance. I’m going to spy on Cyrus.”

Despite my work on his ears, he made a low sound of irritation, and I was sure he was going to forbid me from doing any such thing. But he said nothing, as though considering the idea.

“I’m stuck there, anyway. He makes sure I sit near him when we all eat together. I’m sure I can get closer to him.”

Bastian remained very still, but I caught the minuscule flare of his nostrils. “I do hate this idea more than dismantling the courts.”

“But it’s a good idea, isn’t it?”

With a groan, he wrapped around me. “That’s why I hate it.”

As I stroked his back, the door to Dawn ground open. “She’ll be missed,” his spy called through.

Under my cheek, his chest rose and fell in a deep sigh. “A few minutes more.”

Eyes stinging, I gritted my teeth. I’d been so caught up in us, I’d forgotten this was only a temporary reunion. With a tight smile, I pulled back. “We’d better make some plans. I’m going to need lock picks. I think Ella has some.”

“You think I don’t?” He raised his eyebrows, affronted, as he pulled a set from his pocket.

“Yes, but do yours look like hair pins? Ella has a set that can be disguised.”

Grumbling, he conceded and rubbed my wrist, right beside the bracelet.

I went on, “We also need to find Krae before the guards do.”

“Mm. If Cyrus gets hold of them first, they’ll end up dead before they can be questioned.”

“Exactly. I’m sure they’re involved, but I don’t believe for a moment they masterminded the plot or killed Lucius.”

He nodded slowly, watching the burbling fountain. “Cyrus has turned on them, setting them up as the scapegoat.”

“If that’s the case, it makes them a weak link. They’re in fear for their life, and we can offer safety in exchange for information.”

They’d already shown they believed in repaying a debt—I’d saved them from the snare and they’d saved me and Vespera from falling in the sabrecat race. It suggested they worked on fair exchange, which made me doubt they were working for Cyrus out of loyalty. More likely, it was just a job—or Cyrus held something over them.

Bastian gave me a sidelong look. “Maybe we’ll make a good spy out of you yet.”

I elbowed him in the ribs, tossing my head. “Bastian Marwood, I am going to be the best spy you’ve ever had.”

“You’re already my favourite. Unfortunately, there isn’t time to have you. Next time.”

“You keep making these promises. Don’t think I’ve forgotten what you said while we were dancing at the wedding.”

He fixed me with a look so intense, I could’ve sworn it burned a path right through me. “Oh, I’m counting on you remembering every word of that promise, love.”

The door ground again, and I huffed, my desire cooling. “Planning, Bastian. Focus .”

“Somewhat challenging considering where you’re sitting.”

Sure enough, I wriggled and felt something harden against my backside. “I see .” Clearing my throat, I shifted to one side. “Sepher and Zita.”

That barely quenched the fire in his eyes. “What about them?” He shifted in his seat, distracted.

“They tried to leave the palace today and were stopped. Cyrus isn’t fucking around. But… they approached me the other day and I can’t be sure, but it felt like they were trying to win me over. I might be able to make an alliance of some sort. My enemy’s enemy…”

He flatted his lips, focus sharpening. “You should stay away from them. Sepher may hate his brother, but he hates me, too. Although… I did find out Cyrus is the one who broke his tail when they were younger.”

I winced. I’d seen the scar on the prince’s hairless tail; it stood out pale against the smooth, striped skin. “I remember you saying Cyrus had turned against him when his power woke. I didn’t realise it was that bad.”

“I don’t know for sure that it was deliberate, but after what I saw on the balcony, I’m willing to bet the ill will between them is stronger than I suspected and very much current. Still”—his brow furrowed—“I don’t want you caught between royal brothers. It’s far too dangerous.”

“More dangerous than having no allies in Dawn at all?”

He fell silent, gaze sliding away as his jaw worked side to side. “We just need to make you seem unimportant to me. I’ve got Ella, Rose, and Ariadne helping spread rumours that you were merely warming my bed.” He gave an apologetic smile.

I couldn’t help kissing its corner. “Using the humans to spread lies. There’s my Bastard.” Perhaps there was more we could do with that—more Ella could do, in fact. A plan unfolded in my mind. “I have an idea…”