Page 50 of A Promise of Lies (Shadows of the Tenebris Court #3)

49

Kat

W hen I walked into our suite—the real one where we lived together in Dusk, not Dawn’s not-quite-copy—I burst into tears.

It was silly. There was no practical purpose. It was only a place.

And yet it was our place. The only one where I’d felt at home, save for his arms, which came around me now. Without a word, he picked me up and carried me to the armchair by the fire, letting me nestle into his lap.

All the weeks of staying strong and hiding what I really felt fell away as he stroked my hair and kissed the top of my head. I wasn’t a spy or the king’s “pretty little thing” or a hostage. For a moment, a blessed moment, I was just Kat.

He held that space around me, silent and still and warm, until I stopped shaking and my tears ran dry.

“I’m sorry. I’m so silly. I’m not sad, I just…” My apology faltered when faced with his raised eyebrows.

Once he had my attention, he swept my cheek dry with the pad of his thumb. “You know there’s no need to apologise, don’t you?”

Slowly, I inclined my head. He’d never wanted me to make myself smaller, easier to consume. That included my feelings.

He kissed away the tears on my other cheek. “And you know your feelings aren’t silly, right?”

I frowned. “Aren’t they? I’m finally home and the first thing I do is cry.”

“Is that a reaction to being home? Or is it the response to everything you’ve had to do and live through in the past month?”

Eyes burning all over again, I looked up at him. “Just… now I’m safe to finally show that response.”

“You are,” he whispered as fresh tears spilled. “ You are .”

I took my time in that quiet space. He didn’t rush off to report to the queen, but when I’d calmed and spotted the time, I sent him away. He hesitated until I insisted I was fine and had plans of my own.

“Tired of me already? Oh dear,” he teased as I shoved him towards the door.

I hurried to change for an appointment that was long overdue.

The stable yard was lit by lanterns—the fae lights were prone to hiding amongst the straw if left free, and we were far past sunset now.

I tugged at my sleeves. My old highwaywoman clothes were comfortable and practical, though something about them didn’t fit right anymore. They weren’t exactly tight or too lose, just… not right in a way I couldn’t put my finger on.

But that didn’t matter, because a black head reached over the stable door of the large stall in the corner. Vespera huffed the air and I ran to her.

I tripped over myself to get the stable door open and fling my arms around her neck. “My beauty. My darling girl.”

She made a chuffing sound of greeting that blew my hair, and she almost knocked me over in her excitement.

”Yes, I’m here. I’m sorry. I never wanted to leave you.” I would’ve cried, but there was nothing left in me, just sore eyes and an ache at the back of my throat.

But I needn’t have worried she would think I’d abandoned her. A quick scratch behind her ear and I had her rumbling in a contented purr.

I settled into my old routine of grooming her. Brushes for her fur. A damp cloth for her eyes and nose, which she wriggled away from as if to tell me, “I like having sleep in the corner of my eye, thankyouverymuch !” But I prevailed and even managed to get her to let me clean her claws and check her ears.

For a long while, just the business of grooming and being in her quiet presence was enough to occupy me, but my mind eventually turned to this new world I found myself in tonight.

As the new king, Sepher seemed more interested in living his life than gaining more power or searching for the Crown of Ashes. But seeming wasn’t always truth. He’d manipulated us into killing his brother. Was that really for justice and the safety of those he held dear, like Zita and Celestine? Or was it so he could take the throne?

Had we traded in one would-be tyrant for another?

Vespera butted her great head into me—a reminder the chin scratches had stopped. “I’m so sorry, mistress. How neglectful of me.” As I worked my nails through her thick fur, she watched me, eyes half shut. Her purring deepened as her eyes closed, the picture of contentment.

Whatever Sepher’s plans and motivations, we’d won ourselves a moment of peace. It might last an evening or a year.

However long, I intended to make the most of it.

When I returned to our suite, pinching myself that I could just walk into Dusk’s side of the palace without guards stopping me, I found Bastian already there. He had the fire lit and the lights low, and as soon as I walked in the door, he was on me with an engulfing hug.

Maybe he expected me to cry again. I almost did when he produced the orrery and the moth-hilted dagger, both of which had been taken when I’d arrived in Dawn. “How did you?—?”

“My spy retrieved them. I need to give her a raise.”

“You do.” I slid the dagger into my belt and squeezed the orrery. “I thought I’d lost it.”

“You can’t lose it, just like you can’t lose me.” He buried his face in the crook between my neck and shoulder and took a long breath. “My gods, you smell so good.”

“You’re joking, right?” I pushed his chest and wriggled out of his grasp. “I’m all sweaty from grooming Vespera. I need a shower.”

“No, no.” He advanced as I backed away. “It’s good. You smell of you .”

When my back hit the wall, I could’ve twisted out of reach, but I found I didn’t want to escape anymore. Not when he’d just said something so delightfully foolish. “And you… like that?”

His hands landed on the wall either side of my head as he entered my space. “I’ve missed it. And this.” He cupped my cheeks, wiping away the smear of dust I’d spotted in the antechamber mirror and intended to clean off in the shower.

His touched trailed down over me, firm, unhurried, making me forget my exhaustion, replacing it with stirring desire that made my back arch. “And this, I missed this .” He pressed against me, crushing me against the wall.

I couldn’t help the little sound of want I made as I looped my thighs around him, letting him take my weight.

He answered with a groan as his growing hardness made contact with my centre through the infuriating thickness of our clothing. “And, Stars above did I miss these.” He gripped my thighs and pulled into them, wrenching a soft cry from me as the pressure hit exactly the right spot.

“You do remember,” I panted, rocking against him, “we fucked twice while I was in Dawn, don’t you?”

“Yes,” he breathed against my ear before pulling back to look me in the eye. “But it isn’t just making love to you that I missed. It’s know you’re here… you’re safe. Getting to do this and not having to rush or keep half my focus on listening for anyone approaching.” He planted a languorous kiss on my mouth.

His lips toyed with mine, a back and forth where he led, then I did. I could feel his focus on it, the stroke of his hands on my thighs, the press of his body slotted perfectly against me. His attention was entirely mine.

I was breathless when he pulled back, just far enough to rest the bridge of his nose against mine. Eyes screwed shut, he went on. “The fact that tonight I’ll be able to reach out when I wake up and find you instead of the empty space where you are meant to be. I can’t wait to go to bed just to be able to do that.” He opened his eyes and locked his gaze with mine. “I swear for the rest of my days, I will never take that for granted.”

“The rest of your days?” Hearing him say that did strange things to my stomach. Good things. The kind of things the old Kat had given up believing in. But that maybe…

No. Not maybe. The kind of things that I had here with him.

“Every single one of them, if you’ll keep me that long.”

“I will keep you, Bastian. Always .”

He laughed into the thin air between us and fell upon me again.

This kiss started languid and unhurried, but somewhere between my hips grinding into his and his tongue teasing mine, it built into something faster, hotter, needier. A desperation to prove that we were reunited. We tugged at each other’s clothing, hearts racing together, breaths merging.

Someone cleared their throat.

“I told you we should give them some space.” Ella’s voice filled the room.

I jumped, thwacking my head on the wall. Bastian kept me upright, but he stared at the doorway.

There stood Ella, Rose, Faolán, Perry, Asher, Ariadne, and Lysander, all wearing expressions in varying states of shock, awkwardness, or amusement.

“Let’s leave them to it,” Rose said with a chuckle, turning.

I held up my hand. “No, stay, we’ll… uh…” Rubbing the back of my head, I let Bastian put me down and straighten my shirt.

“Right,” he said as he worked. “Of course. You haven’t seen Kat properly in a long while, either.”

I refastened the buttons of his I’d managed to get undone. We gave each other a once over and nodded before stepping apart—we were both decent.

There were some awkward laughs as I hugged Ari, Lysander, and Asher, but I squeezed my friends close. Faolán’s hug almost suffocated me. “Well done,” he muttered gruffly.

For a moment, my eyes burned at what was high praise coming from him. It was too much like Kaliban saying he was proud of me, and that was something he’d never say again. I cleared my throat and nodded as we pulled apart. “Thank you for keeping him sane.” There was no doubt in my mind that the extra sparring with Faolán had stopped Bastian doing something truly foolish.

“He’s not so bad… once you know how to manage him.” He flashed a grin before Rose elbowed him out the way and threw her arms around me.

“Stop hogging her!” She squeezed, almost as strong as Faolán, and I huffed out the breath I’d only just caught. “You were fucking fantastic. At the ball—I don’t know how you let him…” She clasped my cheeks, checking me over, then shook her head. The shadows under her eyes seemed at odds with the pretty flush of her cheeks.

“Are you all right? You look tired.”

She laughed and swatted off my concern. “Have you gone to the Cyrus school of compliments?”

“Oh, gods, sorry, no I didn’t mean?—”

“You’re taking too long. It’s my turn.” Ella swept in.

I held her close. “Thank you. Thank you .”

Her chuckle shook into me as she refused to let me go. “For what, exactly?”

“ Everything .” I arched back enough to look her in the face. “You played your part to perfection. In Dawn, they were still talking about our fight just yesterday. And that vial of whatever it was…” I exhaled shakily. “It saved me.”

“No. You saved yourself. Without quick thinking, the tools don’t matter. You held your nerve and used everything you could get your hands on. I’m just relieved you’re home.”

“Me too.” I eased from her embrace and found Perry waiting patiently.

She opened her arms and let me walk into them. There was a strong stillness to her hug. She didn’t squash me, she just held on. “And how are you?” she murmured into that stillness, while the others chattered, high on excitement.

“I’m fine.” It came out without thought, but it wasn’t true.

“Hmm?” It was a doubting sound. A fishing sound, like she knew there was more.

“Or… well… I’m not sure I know.”

She nodded and stroked my back. “It might take you a while to process and work that out. Days, weeks, maybe even months. Especially as you probably need to convince yourself that you really are safely home again.” Pulling back, she gave me a comforting smile. “Just know that’s all normal. And if you need to speak to anyone about it, you have us.”

I did.

We spent some time in the living room, catching up, drinking tea and brandy, enjoying that we were back together at last. Ari reassured us Amaya and shapechangers who’d fled the city were getting on well at their estate, and Lysander grumbled that the place was getting crowded with so many refugees. But he grinned at Bastian after he said it.

I noted all the decor in the room had changed and got the full story of how Bastian had destroyed the room, complete with dramatic reenactment from Rose. Here, now, with this distance from it all, we laughed until we had to rub our aching cheeks and stomaches.

And once we were done with laughter, we fell quiet and raised our glasses to Kaliban and the others taken by Cyrus. I caught Bastian’s eye and we both mouthed Sura’s name, too.

It was approaching midnight by the time everyone left, and when I turned from waving them off down the corridor, I found Bastian watching me, a half smile on his face. “Now, where were we?” He stalked closer, backing me up against the wall. “Hmm, yes, this feels familiar.”

“I think it was more like this.” Planting a kiss on his lips, I looped my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist.

Just as we were rediscovering the breathless place we’d been when the others arrived there was a rap at the door. “Ignore it,” he muttered against my lips.

I obeyed and tugged on his hair so there was no room left to talk.

Another rap. “Summons from Her Majesty.”

He groaned, and I sighed. “I don’t think you can ignore that.”

“Good fucking gods,” he growled into my hair, making me shiver. “Do I need to murder everyone else in the world just so we can have some time alone?”

“Now there’s an idea.” But instead of shedding blood, I released him and waved him away before finally getting that shower.