Page 44 of A Moth to the Flame (Utopia #1)

Chapter

Thirty-Two

DUKE

Somewhere in my mind, I’m aware that I’m kissing myself.

It doesn’t matter. With her eyes closed, an image of young Cordie appears in the darkness.

She’d gotten a haircut over the summer, and it was just…

so bad. Her wild hair made her look like a dog that had licked an electric socket.

A puff of red frizz surrounded her pretty face and framed her prettier lips.

I spent most of the time that I was supposed to be doing homework daydreaming about what it’d be like to kiss those strawberry red lips.

I always imagined that’s what she’d taste like. Strawberries and cream.

When I press our lips together again, I realize I was close—but wrong.

She tastes like wild blackberries, the kind that grows in the strangest places, so thick that it’s easy to gorge.

I don’t care about the stomachache that’s waiting.

I lick along the seam of her mouth, desperate for another taste of home.

I feel movement against her body that didn’t come from me. Startled, I open her eyes.

I watch as my own throat works on a hard swallow. Cordie stares back at me with my brown eyes .

For a hot minute, I forgot that we’re not in our right bodies.

I grin at her.

She blinks.

A sudden burst of her laughter fills my head. The corner of my mouth twitches like she wants to smile. True love’s kiss. Of course, that would be the spell breaker.

“I don’t know about that,” I say as I glance at my arms and legs that are too still against the bed. “Maybe if you’d quit thinking this is all your fault, then it might work better.”

My brow furrows. Just barely, but it’s something. Maybe it’s not working better because it can’t be true love’s kiss if we’re not in love. We’ve barely learned how to be in like.

This woman is more stubborn than I thought. How many more things can I learn about her? I sure as shit had no idea that she wanted me way back when. That knowledge just makes me angrier about this whole bullshit situation.

Those witches are going to pay. Before I die, they will answer for what they did to her. To me. To us.

She darts my eyes in every direction, looking for a way out of another prison that someone else threw us in.

I cup my face with her hands to focus her attention on me. I can’t fix this alone. “Listen to me. The way I have felt about you for years isn’t your fault. Cornelius told me that witches don’t even have mates. The way I have always wanted you is not your responsibility. It’s mine.”

My eyes fill with tears. Shit. I’m not trying to make her feel worse. It’s bad enough that she’s paralyzed.

“Maybe the only reason we don’t love each other—mates or not—is because we never got the chance. Someone else stole that from us, and I don’t know about you, but that pisses me off.”

She blinks again. A single tear streaks down my cheek, then disappears into my short, spiky hair.

I rest her forehead against mine. This isn’t just my body. This is my Cordie inside. I refuse to fail her again. No one can steal this from me.

“If love isn’t an option right now, then what about lust?”

Her laughter lights up my brain. Just because your dick is hard all the time doesn’t mean I’m going to ask you to have sex with your own body to get me out of this. Do you still think I’m that selfish?

“Not selfish.” I brush her lips against mine over and over again. “Selfless. You’d lie here for an eternity to spare me a little awkwardness, wouldn’t you?”

I— That wouldn’t be fair to you.

She sounds breathless. I smile against my lips, knowing she’ll never admit that she likes this, not even in our heads.

“I would have been taking care of you all this time,” I swear. “If I knew that I could, then you would never have been left wanting. Let me be selfless for you for a change.”

Just—just kiss me a little more. Maybe that will work. We don’t have to go all the way if it’s not necessary.

I laugh and let my mind play with the idea of dry humping Cordie when we were teenagers. Then I close her eyes and exhale every last restraint that I’ve clung to for all these years. The fantasies I couldn’t escape are going to be put to good use for once.

I climb on top of my body and straddle my waist. My hard dick pulses against her ass.

I don’t think about it too much, so I won’t break whatever new spell we’re weaving.

Instead, I concentrate on the sensations Cordie’s body feeds me.

I’m inside her in a way that I never dreamed about.

I press her aching tits against a hard chest that’s still too cold.

More pressure feels better, so I follow her cues and seal our bodies together until the only thing between us is breath.

A moan slips from her lips. God, I’ve dreamed of that sound more times than I can count. I’m in the driver’s seat of her pleasure, and I have the map to get her where she wants to go in a way I never imagined before.

I wrap her hands around the sides of my neck, feeling my pulse pound sure and strong.

You could have loved me , I swear. I would’ve worked for that.

The past is in the past, so I get to work on the now.

I press our mouths together again. Desire heats her blood, so I push for more. There’s no resistance when I slip past closed lips. Our tongues meet for the first time. Another moan vibrates her throat and a drumbeat of lust pulses between her thighs.

I sigh with relief. She’s not broken. Not like me.

I’m tempted to follow the instinct to rub against the hardness beneath her body, but I won’t break her trust.

Never again.

Instead, I deepen the kiss.

A groan that doesn’t come from me rumbles against her chest.

Cordie?

Keep going , she says, panting. I can wiggle your toes.

I’m not about to be the one to keep her trapped, so I follow orders.

I slide us together in a rhythm that matches the pulse between her soft thighs. Oh, fuck. It feels so damn good. I ride harder, chasing down a high that’s just out of reach.

This is the way it would have started, if we’d been given the chance.

I can’t quite get there, though. Not sure if that’s me or her.

Duke , she groans. Please. I need more.

I kiss cheeks, forehead, nose, lips and give in.

A hard, pulsing cock is a wholly different sensation against her slick pussy.

I slow down, memorizing the way every pass feels against her throbbing lips.

The head of my cock brushes against her clit, and I gasp, then circle her hips over and over and over again. Her blood boils, and my head spins.

Fuck , I pant. Still helping, or is this too much?

Please , she whines.

What do you need, Gingersnap?

Starting to think your cock is hard all the time for a reason. Use it.

There’s no way in the seven hells I can say no to anything she demands of me.

I impale her body on my cock in one swift movement, just like I always imagined doing to her.

A cry echoes through the cavern in her voice. I feel every muscle beneath me tense.

Are you okay? she pants. You don’t have to do this. I’ll figure something else out .

“Just give me a minute,” I breathe out, holding perfectly still.

Fuck. Am I going to come? Is that what this is? Even when I jerked off to fantasies of her, this kind of pleasure has never hit me so fast or so hard. Is it because I’m in her body? What happens if mine doesn’t work?

If I’m not aroused enough, it’ll hurt, she explains. Don’t worry about it, Duke. Really. Just gently back off.

I grit her teeth harder. There’s only one reason she’d tell me that. Because it’s something she’s been through before.

That’s not the problem, sweetheart. I promise. It’s you and me here. Just you and me. Nothing and no one else between us.

It’s up to me for now to block out everything else.

I might not have her lightning, but I’m not powerless.

All the fear, anxiety, and real-world shit, I shove away like it’s a physical thing that I can cut down with an imaginary sword.

I cling to my body, knowing it’s her in there. I’m still me in here.

Everything else fades away.

I kiss her lips the way I’ve always wanted to. A soft brush of skin to skin, an inhale of her breath. A taste of blackberries that are so sweet with a hint of tart. My Cordelia isn’t as quiet as she seems. She’s as wild as the wilderness that we’ve grown up in.

She should be loved just as wildly.

I spear my tongue into her mouth and map every unknown space. I’m an explorer who knows all too well that I can never tame the untamable. Hell if I can fight the instinct to leave my mark. So I stop trying. I don’t hold back.

I lick my way down her jaw to her neck, and I sink my teeth in.

She rolls her body beneath me, meeting every thrust and arching to give me better access to lick, suck, and bite to my heart’s content.

I’m going to eat her alive until nothing is unknown to me. Every inch of skin, every plane and valley and ridge, becomes a playground for my mouth. I sink my fingers in deep and stake my claim.

I can’t contain the groans of pleasure from every glide of our bodies against each other.

More. More, more, more.

I want it all .

I slide my cock up and down, in and out, faster and faster and faster. Leaving the pain behind for something else. Something new, something different.

I fuck her like I can give her every fantasy about everything she’s ever wanted and never been given. I fuck her the way I’ve always dreamed about.

I’ve never been ridden like this. I’m sure of it. I’ve never fucked this way.

My body, her body—doesn’t matter.

I spread her thighs wider, making room for her to take me deeper, to give her everything she needs. Everything we want.

Her body was meant to take me. All the fight is gone.

Deeper. Harder. Faster.

Sweat slicks our skin. Our muscles strain and slide. Hands grip tight.

She hits a spot deep inside that makes my eyes roll in the back of my head. I squeeze her plump ass, digging my fingers into her flesh and leveraging more of my weight against her hips. I piston over and over again to that same spot, hellbent on making her break for me.

I clamp my mouth over the pounding pulse in her neck and suck her tangy sweet sweat into my tight throat. Her nails rake down my back.

My eyes snap open.

I’m me.

I’m in my body, and I’m staring down at her heaving tits beneath me. Her legs are wrapped around my waist, and I’m fucking the hell out of Cordelia Diane McCoy.

“Cordie,” I choke out.

She shatters with a loud cry. The tight, pulsing squeeze of her pussy milks my cock. I thrust as deep as I can inside her, emptying myself until my balls ache from a release like I’ve never felt before.

My body goes lax beneath me, my arms falling to my sides on the bed.

I’m still straddling my body, but I’m in hers again.

She blinks my eyes open and offers me a tired smile. “Duke. Thank you.”