Page 84 of A Monarch's Fall

“I’m so sorry,” she cried too, tears streaking her face. “I thought I was doing the right thing,” she explained.

“How?” I asked.

“She’s out of control, Percy. She killed Oskar, the heir to a House —”

“He tried to have me killed, remember?” I interrupted.

“She killed Valen and took his title —”

“Again, he tried to kill me,” I told her.

“She killed the ruling nobility of House Vouna, buried them under the rubble of their home and then forced the merger of Vouna with Ardens —”

“You know it’s not as simple as you’re suggesting. She never wanted to rule Ardens or incorporate Vouna,” I told her.

“It doesn’t matter what she wanted; it matters what she did. She put the entire kingdom into turmoil,” Ana argued.

“She did it for me!” I defended, how could she not see that?

“Did you ever stop to think for maybe one moment, Percy, that just maybe that isn’t a good enough excuse? Maybe it’s not okay for so many lives to be lost, or irrevocably changed just for you, just to satisfy her?” she asked me, and I went to respond but couldn’t.

Ana was right. Too many lives had been lost because of me. Maybe none of this happened, maybe those children would still be with their mothers if it weren’t for me. If I hadn’t somehow helped to create the perfect combination of instability and political chaos that Lady Flores planned to use to take control.

Evie, Remey, the driver, Desdemona, the academy guard, Fredrick, even Valen, Oskar, Clara and her family, so many lives lost ultimately because of me. How many more would be lost?

“I’m sorry, Percy. It’s not your fault,” she tried to reassure me, reaching out to hold me.

“Don’t,” I told her.

“It’s not your fault, it’s hers. None of it would have happened if it weren’t for her,” she tried again.

“Stop it, Ana,” I warned her.

It all came down to me. I saw it so clearly. I made friends with Dylan, the fool, even after Selene had warned me away from him. I was jealous of Oskar, so I made things difficult and entertained Dylan. I knew Selene hated it. I did it anyway. I even left with him that night at the Summer Ball.

“I know I’m responsible too. You can’t blame only Selene. But what you’ve done. What you’re helping to do isn’t any better,” I told her.

“Percy, the House system has to end. You’re a bloodslave for goodness’ sake, how can you not be with The New Foundation?” she asked, throwing her hands in the air.

“I’m against the House system as much as anyone. I’m not from any House, remember?” I told her.

“You are now,” she countered, “House Borealis,” she said like an insult.

“I’m with Selene,” I replied.

“Same difference,” she said.

“And you’re okay with war and what that means. The kind of war The New Foundation is planning?”

“I don’t want war, but it’s necessary to change things,” she answered, the fight in her deflating.

“Change what exactly? You’re standing in House Halvorsen. The New Foundation is living out of Arvid Halvorsen’s pocket. Do you really think he’s backing anything that takes away his power?” I asked, but Ana just looked away. “And the children, Ana…” I couldn’t finish, my lip trembled, and I held back tears. I had just stopped crying; I wasn’t about to start again.

She looked back at me, “What children?” she asked.

“The children of Flores and mixed magic backgrounds, the child soldiers that they're making for novel abilities,” I told her.

“Novel abilities? Like yours?” she asked.