Page 110 of A Monarch's Fall

“I know. I’m sorry I’m leaving you now, but if I go back with you, then I’ll get dragged into all of this. For however long it lasts, and I might not get another chance to see my family, the people I love,” she said, and I remembered what she had said to me just the night before last, that if she had the opportunity to see her family again, she would take it.

“You should go home, you’re right, if not now, then when?” I said.

She rushed forward and hugged me tight, and it felt like a hug from my best friend again, her carefree self, her true self.

“Get back to your grumpy vampire safely and don’t get killed and die on me, okay? I want my best friend when this is all done. And I’m sorry… for everything. I got lost in my anger and forgot what was important to me,” she said.

“I won’t die on you, but you have to promise to stay safe too,” I said.

“It’s a promise,” she agreed.

I felt anxious and paranoid the whole train journey to Borealis. The train was far busier, with many stops, and at least a dozen strangers sat down next to me. None tried to start a conversation, thankfully, and I was too nervous to attempt to do so out of politeness.

The train journey to Borealis was long, and there was no free food offered this time. When we stopped at the King’s City station, my head ached from lack of sleep, my stomach twisted with hunger, and I had to stop myself from nervously checking that none of my hair was showing, about every half minute.

When I had stayed at the Borealis Castle with Selene, we had never travelled to King’s City. I had never been somewhere with so many people, cars, and smoke. The air felt heavy, like it was mixed with too many fumes and recycled air from all the people.

Ana had been right: there were signs everywhere, and a stand with free maps of the city for people visiting. I grabbed one as I passed and opened it. A cartoon image of a castle sat on the Dark Mountains marked Borealis Castle, and a little set of footprints next to a train showed where I was.

I used the map to make my way through the city, the images of landmarks guiding me. I noticed that there was a bus to the Borealis Castle, but I had no money for bus fare, so I resolved to walk.

The streets began to thin out as I neared the edges of the Dark Mountains. I walked along a path next to a wide road, and as I climbed uphill, I saw in the distance the official entrance to the Borealis Castle. It was not the same entrance that Selene used; there was no tunnel through the mountain, just tall walls and guards and a gate that looked impenetrable. I saw people lined up; I assumed they were either returning servants who lived or worked within the castle grounds or maybe even nobles from the other Houses for the Royal Conference that began soon.

I stopped, realising that I could not enter the castle grounds without identifying myself, and Arvid’s warning echoed in my head. I couldn’t remember his exact words, but it was a warning not to trust everyone within Borealis and given everything that I knew, that House Halvorsen and Viridis had been secretly working together for years, supporting The New Foundation, planning a rebellion, attempting to manipulate the crown, who else was untrustworthy, waiting for their moment to attack? I decided that I couldn’t just walk in through the main entrance; it was too dangerous.

The only other way to reach the castle grounds would be the way that Selene had snuck us in and out when we went to the waterfall that was hidden in the Dark Mountains. I looked up at the mountain; the castle was so high up, and the mountain was covered in dense forest, with enough evergreens that it still looked dark and menacing.

It was my only option.

The light of the day would be dimming soon, and even if I made good time, it would be night by the time I reached the castle.

I began my hike up and through the forest of the Dark Mountain. For hours, I struggled uphill, navigating streams, slippery slopes, and roots that took me to the ground so many times that I was embarrassingly covered in wet mud at variousstages of drying. I imagined that I might look like a pig after it’s had a good roll in a mud puddle on a hot day. Only it was the beginning of winter, the temperature was falling below freezing, and I was wet and covered in mud, in the dark on the side of a mountain. What was I even doing? I should have just gone through the front entrance.

I spent the next hour or more regretting my decision until I heard it — our waterfall. I was close. I followed the sound, falling again and catching myself and grunting in pain, as my already sprained wrist sang at yet another hard impact. I dragged myself up and kept pushing forward towards the sound of heavy running water. When I stepped out of the tree edge and saw the waterfall lit silver in the moonlight, I was so happy I cried. I was close to the Castle. So close. Selene had brought me to the waterfall several times, and I was, in that moment, so tired and cold and trembling that I felt like I could remember every step out of the forest.

I moved forward with renewed energy until I reached the edge of the wall that surrounded the castle. In the black of the night, I made my way along the edge of the wall, back and forth multiple times, trying to feel out with my fingertips the door that I knew to be there. I had to stop myself from cheering when I finally found it. It wouldn’t do me any good to have made it all the way to the edge of the Castle, just to be found in that moment.

The last time Selene and I had used the door, it was unlocked. Selene had explained that some of the Royal Guard had been using it as an unofficial smoking area since she was a child, and if we were lucky, it would be unlocked. She described it as a horrendous lapse in security that could easily have deadly consequences, if it weren’t for the fact that when it came to someone breaking into a castle, no one ever thought to check if the door was simply open; they always had to make breaking in more complicated and inevitably got caught.

My heart pounded almost painfully against my chest as I leaned my ear against the door and tried desperately to hear if anyone was in the hallway behind it. If I attempted to open the door and it was open and someone was there, I would be caught. If I tried and it was closed and someone was there, they would know someone was out here, and again, I was as good as caught.

I couldn’t hear anything, and I decided it was because the door and stone walls were so thick. I took a deep, steadying breath and blew it out slowly before trying the door handle. The sound of the latch clicking as it opened felt like a trumpet sounding my arrival. I was so nervous. I opened the door slowly, unable to move quickly because I was shaking so much, and I wasn’t sure whether it was from the cold or my nerves.

I stepped in through the open door and exhaled quietly. There was no one there. I closed the door behind me and just stood there precariously for a few moments, remembering how to breathe again.

There was no way I could make it through the main castle and to Selene’s wing without being stopped and seen. There was no way I was getting anywhere in the castle or the grounds without being seen, but there were places I could go where being seen in my current state wouldn’t mean getting stopped. I’d look like a servant who had an unpleasant experience. I might draw looks from some who were dealing with the castle at this time of night, but I didn’t exactly look like me. I checked nervously that my hair was still hidden under my hat. I thought that I probably looked like a boy, a skinny, not very strong boy, but with my hair hidden and the bulky winter clothes, and the New Foundation boots I still wore — they were surprisingly comfortable — I didn’t look like me, at least.

I decided to go to the servant quarters. Edward would be back at home, probably in his room or if not, I could wait there forhim. He would be able to tell Selene I was back without anyone else being able to stop me from reaching her.

With a plan in my head, I began to walk away from the door. I was terrified and hoped my pounding heart didn’t attract any unwanted attention. The courtyard to the servant quarters was, as expected, not particularly busy so late at night, and the closer I got to the servant quarters without being stopped, the more confidence I gained and the faster I walked.

I noticed too late, as I approached the servants' quarters, that a Royal Guard stood at the door. No guard had ever been there before. He stood as I approached, and I had no choice but to keep walking; if I turned around, he’d probably set off some alarm.

“Hold up, boy,” he said, holding his arm out to stop me from entering.

“You know the script by now: name, room number, and why are you out this late? More importantly, why are you all wet and covered in… mud?” he asked, taking a torch from the chair behind him and shining it over me, clearly struggling to see me under the dim entrance light of the servants' quarters.

I squinted against the light of the torch and held my hand up, squinting my eyes, closing my yellow eye shut.