Page 31 of A Lover for Lady Jane (The Welsh Rebels #5)

Chapter Sixteen

T he retinue left early the next morning.

Riding at the front were Sian, on her gray mare, Angel, and Christopher, on his copper-colored stallion, Warrior.

Jane had chosen to take Prince, her favorite chestnut gelding.

Next to her, Griffin was riding Eryr. Gwenllian and Bethan had decided to join the expedition.

They, too, wanted to meet the new baby, and provide Bethan with a distraction from thoughts of her recent betrothal.

They were accompanied by the groom’s two sons, who would start working at Sheridan Manor.

Four men at arms were bringing up the rear.

All in all, it was a company of twelve that set off as the pale winter light started to brighten the horizon.

All throughout the day, Jane wished she could ride double with Griffin again.

It had been so good to be held against his warm, strong body.

Without him she felt cold and lost, which was odd considering how much she usually loved riding.

Besides, riding with him would have made it easier for them to have the conversation they needed to have.

What did he intend to do once they had reached their destination?

Would he stay a few days, or leave immediately?

She still didn’t know. They had been granted an unexpected reprieve with this trip back to England, so she had better make the most of it and find the opportunity to talk to him before they arrived.

Thankfully, mindful of his wife’s comfort, Christopher had ordered the company to go slowly.

Jane could tell Sian would have protested, but unfortunately, the morning after they had set off, she had felt queasy.

Moments later, she had run to the nearest bush and cast her accounts on the forest floor.

“I’m so happy,” she’d said once she’d joined the company again, walking on shaky legs. Despite the pallor on her cheeks, she’d looked radiant with joy. “For this means I must indeed be with child.”

It did. And so, from that moment on they had taken every precaution to ensure Sian’s well-being, only setting off in the middle of the day, once she’d eaten something to settle her stomach.

After all, Christopher had ruled, they were not in any hurry.

It suited Jane fine, as a slower travel meant more time with Griffin.

Of a common accord, they agreed to stay well clear of Sheridan Manor and go straight to Throckmorton Castle.

Cynan, Tomos and any others who were waiting for them would have to be found first. It was decided that the men at arms accompanying them would be sent to Uncle Matthew, who, with a contingent of his own men, would uncover the rebels lying in ambush.

Only once the way was clear and the threat removed, would Jane and Sian go to see their aunt, who might well be delivered of the child by the time they got to her.

Finally, on the afternoon of the third day, Jane did manage to find some time alone with Griffin.

They had reached a big town and a halt was decided, so that everyone could take the opportunity of buying items they could not easily get in Castell Esgyrn.

While Sian went to buy cloth to prepare for the arrival of the baby, Jane asked Griffin to escort her to the tanner’s shop.

In truth, she could not think of anything she needed to buy but she wanted to get him away from prying eyes and ears.

To her relief, he agreed. She had half expected him to ask one of the guards to go in his stead, but he merely nodded and followed her.

Before they could reach the tanner’s shop, however, he stopped by a forge.

“What are we doing here?” she asked, smiling, when he started to finger various daggers. They were simple, their handle unadorned, unlike the jewel-encrusted ones she was used to seeing, but beautiful in their simplicity. The smithy was clearly a gifted craftsman.

“We are getting you a blade. You need to be armed, my lady.”

My lady. The two words, pronounced with such ease, cut through her as surely as if he’d pushed the blade he was holding into her heart. She could tell he had not meant to create any distance between them, but rather that he felt that distance in his bones, which was even worse.

She was losing him, more surely than if he’d ridden to the other end of the country.

“Try this one. It’s small enough that it should fit into your palm nicely.” Griffin had not even noticed her dismay—or he was ignoring it because he didn’t know how to deal with it. When he pressed the blade into her hand, her fingers automatically closed around his.

“Griffin. Please.”

He misunderstood the reason behind her plea. “I know you will hate the idea of hurting someone, but I need to know you have some way of defending yourself.”

Defend herself from what? Not from the pain of his rejection, which was the only thing she needed defending from right now.

She shook her head, feeling on the verge of tears.

How could what they had shared end in this way?

Though she had met Griffin only a fortnight ago, she felt that they had a future to share.

They could not part ways now, in such an unsatisfactory manner.

When you know, you know , Sian had told her. Well, she certainly did, and so did Griffin, in all probability. The difference was, he refused to accept it. She tightened her grip on the dagger, wishing it were as easy to master her emotions.

“Having a weapon is all well and good,” Jane said once she had herself under control once more. “But for it to be of any use, I need to be taught how to wield it. Who do you suggest can teach me?”

He lowered his gaze. “I don’t know. Christopher maybe.”

Well, that certainly answered her question. She had asked the question specifically to see if he would offer to stay to teach her. He had not.

“I don’t want Christopher to teach me,” she said in a low voice. No one but Griffin himself.

Griffin heard the defiance in Jane’s voice when she told him she refused to deal with her brother-in-law.

He’d noticed how she always seemed ill at ease in the man’s presence.

It had bothered him for days and here was the perfect opportunity to ask her about it.

Knowing how close she was to her sister, he’d imagined she would love the man Sian had chosen as a husband.

But she seemed oddly shy in his presence, nothing like her usual self.

“Why not? Why are you so wary of Christopher?”

“W-wary?” she stammered, looking caught out.

“Yes, wary,” he insisted when she didn’t answer.

He needed to know, and he’d rather discuss that than the fact he would not be around for much longer.

He’d not missed her reaction when he’d called her “my lady” earlier.

But try as he might, he just could not see how the two of them could have a future together.

Heart beating hard, he waited. Would Jane answer, or would she force him to address the matter at hand?

She returned the dagger to its place on the bench and took a few steps toward the church, leaving him to follow if he wanted to. Of course, he did. The buying of the weapon could wait another day. This could not.

“I’m not wary of him, exactly,” she said after a while. “But I am ill at ease. I suppose, to my shame, that I cannot get past what he made me endure when we were children.”

Endure? Griffin’s jaw tightened. This was not what he had expected to hear, and far more worrying. Would he have to take his new friend to task? Christopher had not seemed the kind of man who would hurt a woman but evidently, something had happened between the two of them. “What did he do to you?”

He must have looked ready to go confront the Englishman and use the dagger she’d just discarded to slice him open, for she shook her head and hastened to reassure him.

“It’s nothing as bad as you’re imagining.

He grew up not too far from me and we often met, by accident or during various festivities and banquets organized at Sheridan Manor.

Whenever he saw me, he liked to tease me and make me feel bad about the way I behaved, all prim and proper in his opinion.

And though it has been years and he has since apologized for it, I cannot seem to forget the pain he caused me.

I really wish I could, because it’s not fair to Sian. I can tell she wants us to be friends.”

He nodded in understanding. The notion that she could not fully accept her beloved sister’s choice would weigh heavily on her mind.

Siblings were not supposed to question or disapprove of one another’s decisions.

Griffin understood better than most how she felt because he’d always hated the fact that he did not get on with his own sister.

“I see.”

“It’s silly, and I’m sure with time I will forget the nonsense. Especially when I see how well he takes care of Sian and how much he loves her. I’m sure once the babe is born and I see how he dotes over it, as he’s certain to, the last of my resentment will vanish.”

Once the babe was born.

The words caused a tightening in Griffin’s chest. That would not happen until after the summer.

Where would he be then? He had no idea. He wasn’t even sure where he would be at the end of the month.

Well, one thing at a time. First, they had to reach Throckmorton Castle and see about capturing Cynan.

At least he knew he would not leave until he was certain the danger lurking in the shadows had been removed.

He would do nothing until he knew she was safe.

“I’m certain you’ll find a way to forgive Christopher,” he agreed. Jane was nothing if not a generous soul, ready to give people the benefit of the doubt.