Page 29 of A Lover for Lady Jane (The Welsh Rebels #5)

Behind him, Christopher let out what sounded like a chuckle. Was he amused at the awkwardness of the exchange he’d overheard? Griffin wouldn’t put it past him. Blast it, but the man was mischief personified.

“Ladies, we’ve been sent to get you,” the Englishman said, offering his arm to his wife. “A veritable feast awaits us in the main hall. Shall we?”

“Yes. I’m famished,” Sian said, beaming at him.

Gwenllian and Bethan followed them, arm in arm, and Griffin had little choice but to offer Jane his arm in turn. She took it with her usual grace and a smile that tugged at his heart. Here he was, behaving like a nobleman when they both knew who he was in reality.

Perhaps he should leave at the first opportunity. This unfortunate delay would only end up causing him more heartache.

“Married life suits you. You’re positively glowing.”

Jane smiled at her sister as they completed the first turn about the list. The change in Sian was incredible. She had only wed Christopher a month ago, but even in that short amount of time, the difference was obvious. It was as if she had finally found her rightful place in life.

“Yes. Being Christopher’s wife is just as wonderful as I’d imagined. And there is a reason for my glow, as you call it… I think I might be with child.”

“Oh, Sian! Congratulations! Llongyfarchiadau !” Having children had been her sister’s dream from a young age, Jane knew. How wonderful to see it happen so soon. “Isn’t it a bit early to tell though?”

She remembered Ffion saying she’d been mistaken because she’d been a few days late. Would her sister not suffer a similar disappointment? Jane dearly hoped not.

“It is early, you’re right. But I can already feel that something has changed within me.” Sian bit her bottom lip. “I have missed my courses, which is why I think this babe might have been conceived before our wedding, on the night Christopher and I were reunited.”

Jane remembered that night perfectly. The couple had just announced they were to be married without delay, despite the fact that Sian had been widowed very recently.

That union had been brief and in name only.

In fact, Jane herself had been the one suggesting they celebrate their reunion in each other’s arms. Apparently, they had followed her instructions to the letter.

“I guess then that Christopher did what I instructed him to do, and gave you the pleasure he owed you?”

The color spreading on her sister’s cheeks was an answer in itself.

He had done that and more, since he had also given her the child she’d craved all her life.

A burst of gratitude toward the man swept through Jane.

He might have made her life a misery as a child, but he was apparently the husband Sian needed.

Perhaps if she kept that in mind, she would learn to get on with him.

“He did. Every time he touches me, I melt.”

Melt. Two weeks ago, Jane would not have known quite what her sister meant by that, but now she knew exactly. A question crossed her mind, a question she would only ever dare ask the woman in front of her. Since they were discussing intimate matters anyway, there would be no better time.

“You know you told me that being taken for the first time didn’t hurt?”

“Yesss…”

“Well,” Jane pushed on despite the sudden note of suspicion creeping into Sian’s voice. “Do you think it’s the same for all women? Or would some feel the pain more keenly?”

Like being knifed through the gut, even if you desire the man, even if he’s gentle with you?

There was a pause while Sian considered. “I suppose, like with most anything, it can vary from woman to woman. I know I’m probably lucky my first time didn’t hurt, and I’m glad of it, because I would have hated to worry Christopher.”

“Yes.” Exactly. The pain had been one thing. The anguish in Griffin’s eyes when he’d seen her reaction, quite another. He had not deserved to be made to feel so wretched, when she had been the one begging to be taken. Her body had been untried, something he had not been responsible for.

“Don’t fret. It’s not your fault, just the way your body was made. I’m sure he was very understanding.”

“No, I know it wasn’t my fault, but I cannot help—” Jane froze when the meaning of the words hit her.

Sian had said “was,” not “will be.” She was not talking about a hypothetical situation and a non-existent man, she was talking as if she knew her sister was no longer a virgin, and she had guessed Griffin had been the one to deflower her. “You know? How?”

“It’s not hard to guess what happened since I last saw you.” Sian took her hand and gave it a squeeze. “You, too, are glowing.”

Jane placed a hand on her heated cheek. Was she glowing? Perhaps. She certainly felt different, at ease with herself, conscious of her body in a way she hadn’t been before. Still, there was no denying that what she had done was shocking.

“You…you do not think less of me for?—”

“No. I would never think less of you for anything. How can I condemn you when I myself made love to the man of my choice before marriage? And I doubt you behaved as scandalously as I did?”

The heat on Jane’s cheeks reached an alarming level.

The day before her wedding, her sister had explained how she had once tricked Christopher into making love to her outside in a meadow, seducing him in the most shocking way when he had tried to resist her advances.

Compared to that, Jane had to agree that she had behaved with the utmost decorum.

“No, it wasn’t quite as scandalous as that,” she conceded in a breath. There was a pause, while they entered the herb garden and sat on a stone bench. “Can I ask you another question?”

“Since when do you need my permission to ask anything?”

Indeed. The two sisters had always been very open one with the other. That she hadn’t just asked the question went to prove how nervous she was. “I know you’ve only seen him briefly but what do you think of Griffin?”

Sian stared at her, understanding what she was really asking.

When her sister had confided she was in love with Christopher last summer, Jane had been less supportive than she should have been, allowing rumor and prejudice to cloud her judgment.

She regretted it now, because even if she’d had her reasons to dislike the man, she understood how her lack of enthusiasm would have hurt Sian.

Now that she needed her approval, she wasn’t sure how she would bear to hear that Sian thought Griffin less than perfect for her.

Sian smiled her warmest smile and nudged at her shoulder in a playful gesture. “He’s perfect for you.”

Relief washed through Jane, but she forced herself to voice her concerns out loud, knowing that, unfortunately, not everyone would be as understanding. “He does not have a title.”

“Neither does Christopher. He’s no longer Lord Ashton.”

“No, but he was still nobly born.” She hated having to insist, but she needed to hear that her unconventional choice could be accepted. “Griffin is only the son of a farmer and a maid.”

“Mayhap. But his children will still be Lord Sheridan’s grandchildren. Not that it matters, anyway.”

“I’ve known him for less than two weeks.”

“It makes no difference. When you know, you know, there is no point dragging on the proceedings, it will only make you miserable. I knew immediately when I met Christopher that I wanted to marry him. Believe me, I wish I hadn’t had to wait for more than ten years to finally make him mine.

Two weeks would have been perfect.” She gave a little chuckle.

“Well, perhaps not, as I was only nine at the time, but you know what I mean.”

Jane gave a taut smile. She knew what Sian was trying to do but she would not be distracted so easily.

“Griffin has never?—”

“Listen, do you really care what he’s never done, where he’s never been or whom he’s never met?” Sian interrupted. “He’s perfect for you , and that is all that matters. Or are you telling me you don’t actually want?—”

“No! I want him!” The words burst out of Jane, and she shot up to her feet in her vehemence. “I want him more than I have wanted anything in my life. I burn for him like I’ve never burned for anyone. I think, no, I know that I am in love with him. And nothing will change that.”

The sound of someone skidding to a halt made the two women turn toward the opening in the stone wall. Griffin was standing under the stone arch, staring.

At her .

Jane fell back on the bench when her legs crumpled from under her.

Had he heard her heated declaration about being in love with him?

Of course he had. Why else would he have gone as pale as a ghost?

She knew he would hate to hear that she had such strong feelings for him, and seeing that she was discussing them so openly with someone else, be that her sister.

Hadn’t he taken fright after their night together?

Hadn’t he been acting odd since they’d arrived at Castell Esgyrn?

He was worried their difference in status would mean the death of whatever had started between them.

Not wanting to rush him, she had purposefully kept silent and allowed him time to come to terms with everything.

And now he’d heard that, for her, it was not merely a blossoming relationship. She’d declared out loud that she was burning for him, that she was in love with him.

He couldn’t deal with it.

“Griffin,” she started, not knowing how she could reassure him.

He turned and was gone before she could call him back.