Page 20

Chapter 19

Scuba

A nnette wasn’t home yet, and I wanted her here. I missed her so much, and I wanted to know if she was safe.

Given all she’d been through, I couldn’t call her and ask if she was coming home soon. I didn’t want to be yet another controlling asshole, which was also the reason I was not reaching out to Natalie.

But damn, I wanted her home with me even if we were being fucking awkward in silence.

Instead, I controlled my basest emotions and watched some football. Okay, watching was rather generous since I couldn’t even tell who was playing. Just that one team was in green and yellow, and another team was in black.

I also kept checking my phone for any word from either her or Natalie.

When I went out, Annette wouldn’t reach out to me unless it was getting close to one or two a.m. So, I promised myself to give her the same grace. There was no way in hell I could hold out until two a.m., and I hoped that she wasn’t planning on staying out until three or four a.m.

When I heard the garage door open, I practically leaped out of my seat to go into the kitchen to see Annette.

Natalie escorted Annette in with a hand around her waist, and it was clear my sweet, innocent Annette was absolutely smashed. I quickly went over to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water. “Seems like you girls had fun.”

“Loads.” Annette had that lopsided smile that made me wonder just how much she had to drink.

Seeing Annette drunk was a little bit of a surprise since Natalie asked if I could watch Eric tonight due to some sort of girl crisis.

After I dumped the packet of electrolytes into the bottle, I recapped it and shook it up. Then, I handed it to her, “Better drink this.”

God, it felt weird being the one to ply her with water. Normally, our roles were reversed, and I was the irresponsible one.

Yet, at the same time, I was glad she went out and was able to have some fun. I wanted her to have the spark back, and that wouldn’t happen if she always stayed in and took care of Eric. She didn’t have to do that anymore.

Annette leaned over and tapped my cheek. “You’re pretty.”

The simple comment shouldn’t have elated me the way it did. I was convinced she hated me since she always had those pitying eyes on me when I drank and barely looked at me at all when I was sober.

Yet they always said if you wanted to hear the truth, talk to a kid or a drunk.

So this was her truth. I was still pretty in her eyes. It helped to break the mental wall of calling her Annette and Annie.

Despite everything, I loved her and longed to have a connection with my Annie.

I led her to the couch, and she flopped down with as much grace as a lead anvil. After she righted herself, she finally took a sip of water.

She needed to drink the whole bottle, but I couldn’t rush her.

“I’m just going to go,” Nat announced from the kitchen. I kind of forgot about her since I was a man on a mission: taking care of Annie.

I lifted my fingers and waved her off. “See ya.”

Annie moved closer to me and really nestled into my side while I wrapped my arm around her body. It felt too good.

My dick hardened, and I tried to tell the little dude that it wasn’t going to happen. Sex was off the table. Annie was wasted. She could be throwing herself at me, and I would still be a gentleman and withhold.

It didn’t mean I didn’t want her. I just needed her to want me while sober. Well, that, and I also needed to know why.

She mumbled something, but it was completely incoherent since she talked straight into my torso.

Moving her mouth away from my chest, I asked, “What was that, my love?”

That got some recognition from both of us because I used to call her that back when we dated. With my arm wrapped around her, it was like old muscle memory kicked in, but I still meant it.

“Oh, we’re back to using my love?”

If I needed to, I could play it off that it was just a blanket endearment term, but in all honesty, it was only for her. However, given how drunk she was, it would probably be easy to steer her away from that.

“What can I say? My feelings for you never fully left. Don’t forget you were the one who ghosted me.”

It was probably a dick move to say that, but it was the truth. I would have totally stayed with her if she let me.

“I’m sorry about that, Ter. I really am. But I was trying to do right by you, which was an epic failure. Yet here you are, doing right by me and your son.”

I wasn’t sure if I wanted to thank the alcohol for loosening up her lips. But it was long overdue for us to have this conversation since she was always so goddamn guarded around me.

“I still don’t get that part, my love. How in the world was lying about a miscarriage and vanishing doing right by anyone?”

I really felt bad saying that, but it was also the truth.

“It was the only way. We were kids, and you were following your dream. Eric and I would have only gotten in the way and made it way harder for you to kill it. Hell, you already got a Stanley Cup, and we all know you’re in contention for another one. One of us deserved to live life to the fullest, and I chose you.”

I hated hearing that. I would have been there for her if she let me. But she was right. I wouldn’t have walked away. It was the only way for me to do half the shit I’ve done. But having her in my life wouldn’t have changed my hockey career. I would have just been way more boring, and I hated that she took the decision away from me.

I kissed the top of her head.

“I wish you didn’t make that decision for me, though,” I said softly.

“You and me both. Especially after having a real miscarriage, I know how cruel it really is.”

I sat up straighter. This was new. She lost a kid. I knew she had a bunch of injuries, but no one ever mentioned anything about a miscarriage. Then I reminded myself that even though she got beaten up by her ex, a miscarriage could have happened earlier in their relationship.

“Don’t tell me you were pregnant with that asshat.”

She only nodded.

Suddenly, the meek and mild woman she became in my absence showed up again. I didn’t want those guards to go back up. We were finally having a truthful conversation that I needed to really forgive her and maybe one day get back with her.

Even thinking there was hope we could get back together reawakened my semi.

Nope. Not thinking that way. It will only give you blue balls.

I probably shouldn’t ask, but I had to know. “Did he attack you because you were pregnant?”

Annie shrugged. I stared and rubbed her shoulders, hoping to keep her lips loose and find out some much-needed answers.

“Luke was jealous of you. Especially since he was never that good at hockey. When he found out you were moving back to the area, he became worse. Then, when he found the phone Spence gave me for emergencies and for me to keep earning money by dog walking, he was convinced we hooked up again, and he went crazy. So, while he only almost killed me, he did kill our baby.”

Oh shit.

That was so much, and the fact that she’d kept it silent, she was stronger than I could ever know.

I felt bad for her. She endured so much, yet she just powered through and was an amazing mom to our kid. She was freaking amazing.

The worst thing was that she lost a kid over nothing. We weren’t having sex. Hell, she was now living with me, and we were still not having sex.

“I’m so sorry,” I muttered.

It was lame, but I didn’t know what else to say.

“Me too.” She let out a yawn, and with the way she stretched out her arms with all abandon, she nearly punched me in the face. “I’m sleepy.”

I scooped her up in my arms and carried her to my bedroom. I would probably regret the decision, but I didn’t trust her not to get super sick tonight. I could deal with being tortured by blue balls just to make sure she was safe.

At least she was safe.