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Prologue

Annette

Seven years ago

L ooking at the pregnancy test, all I could do was swear. Terry and I weren’t ready to have a kid. Hell, Terry was days away from getting drafted into the NHL. Everyone in the city was excited to see how Terry “Scuba” Scrubewski would be a top ten pick.

My parents were going to kill me. Us.

A couple of tears fell as my mind spiraled.

Do I tell Terry and wreck his life, too?

I was already on the fence about the two of us staying together. I was moving to Trysdale University in Toronto while Terry was either moving to Cleveland, Raleigh, or Dallas. At least, that was his thoughts from the talks. It all depended on who drafted him.

Maybe I shouldn’t tell anyone.

Now, I had to hide my growing stomach and pretend nothing was wrong.

I just didn’t understand how this could have happened. I had an IUD, and we always used a condom. It had to be God’s will for me to have a kid, but I didn’t see why.

There was a knock on the door. “Sweetie, is everything okay?”

I grabbed a tissue and wiped my face. Thankfully, I wasn’t actively crying. I looked in the mirror to see if there was any way I could hide my tears.

Nope. My face was flushed, and my eyes were so puffy and red. I washed my hands and splashed some cool water on my face.

My mom knocked again, and I decided it was time to tell her. At least my family was so supportive that I could tell them anything, even if it sucked.

Taking a deep breath, I opened the door and hugged my mom. “I need to go to the doctor. I think I’m pregnant.”

Mom just hugged me back. I didn’t cry again, but I was sure my life was over.

Of course, the earliest appointment available with my gynecologist was the day of the draft. So, instead of hanging out with Terry like I promised, I sat in a doctor’s office.

My mom held my hand. All I wanted to do was run and hide, but that wasn’t going to fix anything.

Talking to the doctor about my options made it feel real. Not that many of her solutions felt plausible. With my faith, abortion was off the table, so it was only between the possibility of adoption and raising it on my own.

I felt so damn scared.

As we talked, I got a text from Terry.

Terry: Sorry you’re not here with me. Wishing you luck at the doctor’s.

Thanks to my stupid hormones, I told him about the pregnancy scare, the real reason I was at the doctor, and why I couldn’t go to the draft with him. He was so excited at the thought of raising a kid and was ready to come with me to the doctor’s, but that felt so wrong. So, instead, I told him to go to the draft.

On the biggest day of his life, he was thinking only about me. It told me everything, especially since he would have to give up his career if we kept the kid.

There was no way we could carry the kid to term. It would wreck his life.

Two Months Later

Ever since Terry reported to the development camp for the Cleveland Sound, he called every night to check on me, but I saw the reports from the media. They were all saying he was unfocused and might have been drafted too high.

It was all my fault. I needed to give Terry his life back so I didn’t destroy his dreams of killing it in the NHL.

When the phone rang, I wanted to decline the call, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. It was too cold to do it over text.

So I picked up the phone on the third ring.

“Hey, my love.”

He always loved to call me that, and it broke my heart to do this.

I forced out, “Hey. How was your day?”

I needed the time to gather all the strength in the world to do what was necessary.

“Oh, it was great. Do you know how awesome it is to have all-you-can-eat omelets? I had three different kinds today. Then we went into the scrimmage. That sucked somewhat since our team lost, and I got crushed about four times. But the media session was fun. My Insta and TT accounts were blowing up after.”

Good for him. He loved social media, and I could see him being an influencer if he wanted to.

I didn’t say much. Because just the thought of what I was going to do next hurt too much.

“You’re awfully quiet, Annie. What’s wrong?”

Of course, he called me Annie to get my attention again. He and my dad were the only two people who were allowed to call me that.

“I lost the baby.”

Everything went cold in that moment. I hated lying to him. I’ve never told such a bald-faced lie before.

After a moment, he said, “I’m so sorry. Do you need me to fly back?”

“No. But I’m going to live with my aunt for a bit.”

That part was true. Tomorrow, I would move to the prairie until the birth of our child. Between now and then, I had to make sure Terry and I broke up. I just didn’t know how to do that part. Lying to him was hard enough. Cutting him out of my life seemed impossible.