Page 14 of A Legacy of Stars (The Lost God Legacies)

14

TEDDY

T he last place Teddy wanted to be after the day he’d had was in a crowded bar, trying to blend in with the drunk patrons while he was sober.

Every muscle in his body ached. Even his hardest training paled in comparison to fighting for his life while trying to avoid drowning. Now all he wanted was the quiet of his guest room at Olney Castle.

The Poison Vixen was not the kind of bar that Teddy would have picked. He would have preferred somewhere quiet with a good whiskey selection. That was why Nathan never let him choose their celebratory spots.

Nathan always insisted on the loudest, most boisterous pubs with the best music and the most beautiful women—two of whom were perched on either side of him, hanging on his every word.

The fiddle music kicked up again and Teddy sighed, leaning back in his chair.

“Have another drink. For the love of the gods, man, you almost died today,” Nathan said, waving over a barmaid.

The woman leaned over the table, her breasts nearly tumbling out of her obscenely low-cut dress.

“Another round for my two lovely companions and whatever that handsome fellow over there wants,” Nathan said, nodding to Teddy. He slipped the barmaid a tip, and she tucked it into her ample cleavage as she ambled away.

Teddy wrinkled his nose. He really shouldn’t be here.

Nathan caught the look on his face and sighed. He turned to the women beside him. “I’m sorry, ladies. I know I promised more tales of my bravery in battle, but I’m afraid I have some business with His Grace that requires private discussion. We appreciate your discretion, and we’re sure you won’t let anyone else know that the prince is here.”

Teddy fought not to roll his eyes when Nathan looked at him for confirmation. This was an old game that Nathan loved to play with women in pubs.

Teddy waved a hand half-heartedly. “Yes, Nathan is a very valuable asset to the crown and I’m afraid he’s privy to things that aren’t for a lady’s ears.”

The blonde woman who had been practically sitting on Nathan’s lap leaned over and whispered something in his ear. He nodded, and she rose to her feet and flitted back to the bar with her friends.

“She seems nice . What’d she have to say?” Teddy asked, sipping his ale.

“She just told me where and when I could find her later if I wanted to blow off some steam from working so hard. Says she also knows how to work hard,” Nathan said, a shit-eating grin on his face. He glanced around the bustling room. “Speaking of later—where is Jalen? He said he would meet us, but it’s getting late. What could he possibly be doing that’s more important than this?”

Teddy couldn’t help but laugh at Nathan. He was so ridiculous, and for a man who wasn’t royalty, he’d certainly mastered the ethos of thinking of himself as the center of the universe.

A figure darted out of the crowd toward their table so quickly that Teddy’s hand went to the dagger on his belt.

The cloaked figure set a glass down on the table and shoved back her hood, revealing neatly braided black hair and golden eyes just like Teddy’s .

“Alex, what are you doing here?” Teddy snapped, releasing the hand from his dagger.

She grinned and winked at him as she poured herself a glass of his whiskey. “Jumpy tonight, brother. I don’t blame you after the day you’ve had.”

Nathan held up his glass to clink with hers and waved at her leather armor. “Alexandra, you look gorgeous and ready for a fight. I’d say I wouldn’t want to run into you in a dark alley, but that would be a lie.”

“Nathan, save the flirting for someone you have a snowflake’s chance in an Olney summer with. If I wanted a medium-dicking from a lazy lay, I could probably pick, oh, I don’t know—” Alexandra looked around the room. “Any man in this bar.”

Teddy rubbed a hand over his face. “Can you not speak that way when I’m sitting right here? Both of you.”

Alexandra turned her glare on him. “Am I offending your noble sensibilities, brother? Too bad. I’m a princess and I do what and whom I want.”

Nathan clapped and poured her a drink. “It’s good to see you, Alex, but I’m afraid you’re throwing off our clandestine meeting vibe,” he whispered conspiratorially.

“Sorry to say that I have unfinished business with my brother,” Alexandra said.

Teddy swallowed a gulp of whiskey warily. “None I’m aware of.”

She cocked her head and sweat broke out on Teddy’s lower back. She couldn’t possibly know what he’d done before the binding ceremony. Stella had been rushed, but he’d seen the sincerity on her face. She wanted to help, and she had.

And yet…her judgment nagged at him. She’d been adamant that she couldn’t promise Alexandra wouldn’t remember.

“Cut it a bit close today, Teddy,” Alexandra said, watching him over the rim of her whiskey. When he didn’t respond, she tugged on her linen vest and sat up a little straighter. “Not as close as Stella, though.”

Teddy tried to look disinterested, but all he had been able to wrangle so far without being obvious was that Stella was advancing in the Games. He didn’t care about her, but he didn’t want her to die. The feeling of immense relief was just because she survived, and he didn’t have to feel her death or see her family upset.

He cleared his throat and leaned back in his chair. “Oh?”

Alexandra’s eyes lit up. “I knew you were interested.”

“Well, of course I am.” Teddy tapped his chest to indicate the bond.

She scoffed. “Yes, I’m sure you’re just concerned about your own well-being.”

Teddy scoured his brain for something to say to deflect. Stella hadn’t grown on him. If anything, it was just a magical bond that made him care. “I’m just worried about the fairy princess getting herself hurt in a tournament for warriors.”

Alexandra arched a brow. “I wish she’d heard you call her that. I’d love to see her clock you for being an ass. Stella is as well-trained as you are and you know it. Don’t be sexist.”

“I’m not sexist. I’m just saying that she is untested and too whimsical for this kind of brutality,” Teddy said.

Alexandra opened her mouth to counter him, but Nathan gasped and sat up straighter, his gaze fixed on someone at the bar.

“Who is that? In the lilac?” he asked.

Alexandra craned her neck to see who he was looking at. She turned back to follow Nathan’s gaze a second time, as if to check if he was joking. “You mean Rosie McKay?”

Nathan choked and sputtered on his whiskey. “ That is Rosie McKay? Wasn’t she just a child?”

Teddy rolled his eyes. Nathan had always been in such a rush to seem older and more mature, but he was only two years older than Rosie.

Rosie sat on a stool at the bar with two friends. Intricately woven flowers adorned her lilac dress, and when the light fabric shifted with her movement, it looked like a living garden. That, combined with the flower crown atop her neatly braided golden-brown hair, gave her the look of a forest goddess. She was tanner than Stella and her eyes were brown instead of green, but of course, the two weren’t related by blood. They did, however, share some of the same mannerisms, like the way Rosie glanced around the room every few minutes and the way she sipped her wine.

“Pretty sure you were children at the same time,” Alexandra said to Nathan, echoing Teddy’s annoyance. “But if you mean that Rosie has grown into her beauty, you’re certainly right about that. Not that she’d bother with someone like you.”

Alexandra met Teddy’s gaze over the rim of her glass, a hint of mischief in her eyes.

Nathan cocked his head to the side and glared at her. “What do you mean, someone like me ?”

Alexandra feigned a casual shrug. “You know, she likes romantic guys. She’s an artist. She wants someone more cultured and less…slutty.”

Nathan scoffed. “Alex, are you saying you think that’s a woman I couldn’t win over?”

Alexandra leaned her elbows on the table, her hands clasped under her chin. “I think you’d be suicidal to go after the youngest McKay. If her mother doesn’t chase you off, her warrior father will, and if either of them aren’t enough, let’s not forget that Stella and Leo would cut your dick off for even sniffing around their little sister. I’m afraid for all your charm, there are some women who are just not for you, Nathan, love.”

Teddy pinched the bridge of his nose. Alexandra may as well have put a target on Rosie’s back.

Nathan was on his feet and halfway across the bar in a second. Alexandra just laughed into her drink.

“My baby sister is a fucking menace,” Teddy grumbled.

“Your baby sister is bored ,” Alex said. “It’s like Isla always says: Make yourself a menace or else some man will come along and try to make you his.”

She stared into her glass, as if the mere mention of those words made her sad. Perhaps repeating them now, when Isla was gone, gave them a new, sadder meaning .

“She’ll come back,” Teddy said.

He shouldn’t have said it when he was uncertain. But he’d always taken this role with his siblings. It was his job to protect them, even if only for a little while. Especially when it came to Alexandra. Better a hopeful wish now and a hard truth later than something that would inspire more reckless behavior.

Alexandra cleared her throat and sat up straighter, tugging at her vest. “If you say so.”

“Tell me about the challenge,” he said, desperate for a deflection.

“You did a shit job, if I’m honest,” she said. “Not your best showing, though I must admit that the moments I wasn’t afraid you were going to get yourself killed were genuinely entertaining. A giant flying lobster.” She laughed suddenly and loudly. “Where do these witches come up with this shit? That was just about the last thing I expected. I suppose that’s the point. Anyway, I’ve been telling you that you don’t train enough. Too much time on politics and it shows.”

Teddy scowled at her. “Alex, I’m asking—what happened today? I know you have a full scouting report on everyone.”

She leaned back, sulking into her whiskey.

“ Please . You’re my favorite sister.”

She looked unconvinced.

“Fine, you’re my favorite sibling .”

She rolled her eyes. “Who else would you pick? Jules is so busy trying to become a flawless echo of our mother and Jalen is too busy trying to fuck his way to being likable. And you’re too busy being perfect. I am the only one with any character.”

Teddy laughed in spite of himself. Alex was so cutting, but her brutal honesty had always made her reliable in her own way.

“I know the Roach and Dixon finished first. Who was second?” Teddy asked.

“Jeneva and Katerina.”

Teddy’s jaw dropped. “No way.”

“Don’t be sexist,” Alexandra snapped.

“I’m not. I’m just stunned they were so quick with everyone else in the field. And given the size of the beasts. I had to scale an eight-foot lobster, for fuck’s sake.”

Alexandra laughed. “With considerable difficulty, I might add. What happened to you?”

Teddy sighed and tapped his chest.

Recognition stole over Alexandra’s face. “When the bear got her. It was just a split second before you slipped.”

“A bear? I fought a flying lobster, and she fought a bear ?”

Alexandra pressed out her hands as if to brace against his questions. “Not a normal bear. It was like a bear-octopus combination with arms tipped in claws. Very vicious. She was smart. They told the crowd who had what gifts. All of you who chose the same advantage struggled the most. Stella and Fionn both chose luck, and that was clear. Stella was nearly ripped in half.”

Teddy’s blood went cold. He should have at least checked on Stella after the fact. Her pain, fear, and anxiety had been fizzling in his chest all afternoon, mixing with his. It had been so bad that he’d ignored the protests of his body and had gone for a run in the sweltering heat, which he was regretting now that the whiskey was hitting him hard.

“So, Jeneva and Katerina—how did they pull it off?” Teddy asked.

“Poison-tipped arrows. They were fighting an enormous viper, but whatever they used on those arrows brought it down very quickly. I think maybe some type of paralytic.”

Teddy considered it. He wasn’t planning on writing them off, but this certainly changed the rankings in his mind. The first challenge was already showing how ruthless all the competitors could be. Perhaps that was inevitable with Endros as the gamemaker.

“So Reever and I were third. Who was after us?” he asked.

“Drew and Christophe. They did the same thing Rett did. They managed to tie their beast up. They were fighting the same lobster thing as you, but they clipped its wings right away and Drew cracked its shell. It was really struggling to move well after that. Drew boosted Christophe up the wall and he took out Aaron Harper, who was in the arena next to them. Once he was down, Scott McCadly didn’t stand a chance. He is a fearsome fighter, but they were fighting a giant viper and it bit him.”

Teddy shivered. He’d been around death and he knew it was an inevitability of the competition—but it still felt so soon for so many warriors to have fallen.

“You’re holding back,” Teddy said. “I know you. You never have so little to say about a fight.”

Alexandra eyed him suspiciously. “Now why would I hold back, dear brother?”

Teddy froze. He couldn’t tell if she remembered what he’d done.

A light buzz reverberated through his chest. Stella .

Teddy lifted his gaze as she stepped into the bar.

Gone was her leather armor. It had been replaced with a pale aqua dress. The light fabric dipped low, offering a glimpse of the inner curve of her breasts. It was the type of gown that would have made tongues wag in Argaria, but was nothing scandalous in Olney’s hot climate. A healthy flush colored Stella’s cheeks. Her dark hair was swept up on top of her head, and she’d tucked a crown of flowers around the pile of curls. It was jarring to see her looking so gentle when she’d looked so fierce just hours ago.

Nathan, who was sitting on a barstool next to Rosie, caught Teddy’s eye and arched a brow.

Teddy forced his gaze back to Stella, and she was staring right at him, something sad and urgent in her eyes. His mouth went dry. He should?—

“ Ted .” Alexandra’s voice cut through the fog in his head.

He snapped his head around to face his sister.

Her mouth was fixed in a crooked smile. “Oh, you are so fucked. You should see your face right now. You look like you just spotted a siren in the middle of the sea and you’re ready to bash yourself on the rocks just to get close to her.”

Teddy waved a hand. “It’s just magic.”

Alexandra slouched in her chair, casually sipping her whiskey. “I don’t know. You’ve always had a bit of tension with her. Why is that?”

“Why are you holding back?” he countered .

Alexandra cocked her head, her hazel eyes thoughtful. “Have you ever had a dream that felt so real it made you distrust someone you typically trust implicitly?”

Teddy sipped his whiskey to try to steady the rapid beat of his heart. He needed this to be a passable lie, and if Alexandra heard the skip in his heart’s beat, it would only confirm whatever suspicion she already harbored.

“I can’t say I’ve had a dream that convincing, no.”

Alexandra rolled her eyes. “I suppose you do lack imagination.”

“Tell me what you saw today, Alex.”

She grinned at him—the same smile she’d always flashed him whenever he asked that question after they watched a fight, ever since she was a child.

“The Roach has a reputation as a fearsome fighter, but it was Dixon who took the beast down. Just from watching them train, I can tell the Roach has an old injury in his left leg. I’m guessing it’s his ankle, but it makes all his attacks on that side more tentative. Dixon is an accurate marksman, but he takes too long to target. Not like your girl.” She nodded toward Stella. “She hardly even needs to look. You know, Father told me that he once watched Cecilia shoot every target at the range blindfolded. I asked Stella if she could do that, and do you know what she said?” She paused for effect. “She said if you shoot from here,” Alexandra tapped her chest, “your aim will always be true.”

Teddy scowled. “That’s whimsical.”

“No. I think she’s right. It’s confidence, not whimsy. She meant if you shoot with trust in yourself, you shoot better, and she’s right. She’s blessed by the goddess of the hunt, so of course she’s a great archer, but she also doesn’t overthink it.”

“And what of her fight?” Teddy asked, trying to sound casual.

Alexandra poured herself more whiskey.

Teddy eyed the bottle. “Is that a good idea?”

“Calm down, Dad . This is a bar. Did you think I’d call for a proper tea? ”

“You’re a princess. You should conduct yourself with some moderation.”

She rolled her eyes. “Life is too short for moderation. This fine whiskey is the price of your post-battle report. Now where was I?”

Teddy sighed in exasperation. “Stella.”

He felt Stella’s eyes on him as if she sensed that they were talking about her.

Alexandra ran her finger over the rim of her glass. “Stella is good. She stays extremely calm even when she’s hurt. She knows how to follow through, even when her plan doesn’t go as expected. She’s adaptable. She and Fionn actually made a great team. They had a natural sense of each other as if they’d been fighting together for a long time.”

Teddy sneered. “I don’t like him.”

“Why? Because he’s handsome and talented and Stella picked him over you? How’d you manage to fuck that up?”

Teddy gestured to Stella. “She’s willfully defiant. I suggested we work together, and she turned me down. She’d already made a deal with him. Foolish of her. Gods know what a man like that wants from her.”

Alexandra waggled her brows. “I can think of a thing or two he might want.”

Teddy’s stomach plummeted. “What about Fionn?”

“He didn’t shoot his bow, so I didn’t get a good look at that, but he’s fast, talented, smart—though I guess you don’t become such an infamous Novumi mercenary without being smart. He understood how to rally her, never lost his head in the fight even though they were both badly wounded. He’s excellent with short swords. No notable weaknesses that I could read in that fight except maybe overconfidence. But they did both choose a luck advantage, so it’s hard to tell if he was just counting on that to save him.”

“And the rest of the field?” Teddy sipped his whiskey, listening intently as Alexandra fed him a report on the surviving competitors.

When she finished, he leaned forward. “So three down in the first challenge. ”

Alexandra nodded. “Thirteen of you left. I suppose that eliminates any risk of needing to pair up again.”

“Not sure it does. It was very distracting and I think?—”

“Grace, lovely to see you,” Alexandra said loudly, talking over him.

Teddy whipped his head around to find Grace standing behind him. “Gracie, what are you doing here?”

He looked past her. Evan was not in the bar as far as Teddy could see, but he knew enough about the man who’d trained him to be vigilant to know that his Uncle Evan would never let one of his daughters out this late without some sort of backup. Not that she didn’t know how to handle herself, but with the Sons of Endros being so bold, she couldn’t be too careful. There had to at least be a guard waiting for her outside, if not Evan himself.

“I was hoping we could speak.” Grace smiled tentatively at Alexandra. “Privately, if that’s okay. I’m sorry to interrupt.”

Alexandra waved a hand and swiped the bottle off the table a moment before Teddy could beat her to it. “Of course. I wouldn’t want to get in the way.”

Grace gently pulled the bottle from her hand and poured a bit into a glass. “Just need to borrow this for a moment.” She knocked back a shot and shuddered. “Gods, that’s dreadful.”

Teddy stared at her, slack-jawed. Grace had never been much of a drinker; when she did drink, she preferred sweeter cocktails or bubble wine. She poured more into her glass.

Alexandra arched a brow and snatched the bottle back. “Well then. Have fun.”

Teddy watched her retreat to the bar, where she threw herself onto the stool next to Nathan.

Grace settled into the seat beside Teddy. “She seems in good spirits.”

“Of course she is. There are lots of pretty foreign men and women here who are easily held in the thrall of Princess Alexandra.”

“Royal attention can be very compelling. I should know,” Grace said. She was trying to sound casual, but her posture was too rigid, her hands clasped and white-knuckled.

A group of men on the far side of the room broke into raucous laughter, and Grace jumped.

“Gracie? What’s wrong?” Teddy asked.

She touched her hair, a nervous habit that came out on the rare occasions when she didn’t know how to approach a subject. “I’ve been thinking about what happened at the temple. Arden invited me to spend some time with him and I’d like to do that.”

Teddy didn’t want to have this conversation in a crowded bar, but perhaps that was exactly why Grace had picked this place. She knew him well enough to know he’d need to stay calm and listen, even when he didn’t want to.

“I’m competing in the Gauntlet Games for you.”

She smiled tightly, her eyes darting around the crowd before coming to rest on Teddy. She leaned in closer and he saw a rare hint of anger in her eyes. “No. You’re competing in the Gauntlet Games for you . Or maybe to make a point to your father. I explicitly asked you not to take this risk, but you had your heart set on it.”

The liquor had gone to Teddy’s head, and his thoughts were muddled. He wanted to counter her argument. If he could just think clearly, he was certain he could win her over.

Grace cupped her glass in both hands and stared down into the whiskey. “I tried to talk to you before this trip, when your parents first began bringing up a political marriage. But you didn’t listen. I thought maybe going to the temple would make you understand. But it’s as if the more you’re met with obstacles, the more you want to prove the world wrong. I didn’t expect—” Her voice broke.

A cold ache spread through Teddy’s chest. “You didn’t think we would be paired?” Breathless disbelief wrenched the words from his stupid, drunk mouth.

“I did not expect to be paired with you or anyone else. At first, I thought that the goddess was just messing with Stella, but when she whispered to me after she paired us, she said that life is full of surprises and sometimes our greatest loves hide in plain sight. ”

“Fuck that,” Teddy said. “Fuck the gods and their meddling. She doesn’t know you and your heart. She doesn’t know the way you are the safe place for me to be myself.”

Grace held up her hands to brace against his anger. “It got me thinking that someone could love me for me, and not just for the way I make them feel.” She licked her lips. “Lately I have wondered if we serve each other not in growing stronger, but in staying rutted in our ways. I have loved you for so long that it became the singular focus of my days. I think that I’ve lost myself. I would like the chance to see who I am now.”

Teddy’s mouth went dry as he fumbled for anything to change her mind. “I can fix this?—”

“You can’t,” Grace said softly. “I love you for always wanting to fix everything. But not every problem can be solved with more effort or perfection on your part. It is a credit to your character that you care enough to change for me, but this is something I need to do.”

The words were like a body blow that left him struggling for air. He had to be able to fix it. There had never been a problem he couldn’t fix by trying harder—by being better.

But this wasn’t fixable. She wanted time and freedom, and he was terrified of losing her.

“I realize the timing is bad and I feel selfish for even asking, but I’m worried I would always wonder if I didn’t at least try to see what it would be like to spend time with Arden. I’d like to do it with a clear conscience. Hurting you is not my intention—” Her voice broke again. Grace blinked her eyes and looked at the ceiling.

Panic spread through Teddy’s rib cage until it was hard to draw a full breath. He was furious at himself for not noticing. How could he have been so consumed with his own worries that he hadn’t realized how unhappy she was?

“I think we’ve grown too much together and I would like to see who I can be unburdened by the weight of your expectations,” she said, her voice a hoarse whisper. “I think it could be good for us. Perhaps this will be clarifying and we will find our way back to each other feeling more confident than ever. ”

Gods, he was not expecting the way those words would sting. He was bringing her down—the only woman he’d ever loved.

Teddy wiped his sweaty palms on his pants and leaned forward. “Well, it sounds like you’ve decided what’s best for both of us. Or did you just hope I’d offer you absolution for leaving me in such a critical moment?”

He was surprised by the sharpness of his anger. He hadn’t meant to sound so cutting. Truthfully, he was envious. Grace could walk away. She didn’t feel an inevitable future hurtling toward her—or at least she had found a way to dodge it.

Teddy didn’t want to admit he’d spent years praying some secret trapdoor escape from his life would make itself known. He felt a sudden and fierce jealousy that Grace had found one. He had no such luxury, and his denial had come to an end.

“Is that all?” he asked flatly.

She searched his face, her expression awash with confusion and hurt. “I’ll leave you to your drink, then.”

Grace rose, floated through the bustling crowd, and disappeared along with the hopes he had for his future.

He’d been so focused on Grace that he’d tuned out the world, but now the cacophony of the room rushed back in. The bar felt suddenly too hot and crowded. The stench of ale and sweat was suffocating.

He poured himself more whiskey, splashing a good bit of it on the table in his rush for the relief of a stiff drink to wash away the last few minutes.

Alexandra poked her head out from a nearby booth. She held up a fresh bottle as she returned to her seat across from him.

“You look like you could use another bottle or two.” The joviality in her tone was so forced, but he let her fill his glass from the fresh bottle as he tried to rein in his panic.

“I’ve found there are few problems that can’t be fixed by a stiff drink and a pretty girl to flirt with,” she said, clinking her glass to his.

She was good enough to ignore the tremble in his hand.

“My world is falling apart, Alex. ”

But his sister did not look at him with pity. She looked angry. “The worst thing that will happen to you is that you’ll be king,” Alexandra said. “Forgive me for not feeling bad for your tremendous fortune. You focus on the choice you can’t have instead of the many, many you do. You do realize that Jalen being an outstanding warrior means that I will probably be shipped off to marry some foreign prince or lord to secure alliances.”

“Our mother wouldn’t do that,” Teddy said.

Alexandra scoffed. “She may not have a choice with this rebel madness.”

The thought of her playing wife to some foreign prince or lord was incomprehensible, even if it was likely. What a waste of a warrior. Alexandra was so talented and her withering on some foreign throne was not something he could abide.

She spun her glass in a circle on the wooden table. “It’s unbelievable that our father has spent years trying to strip away his own power and hand it back to the people, and they still want to throw it in his face. Their arguments don’t even make sense. No one is making them worship any other gods, and yet they’re the ones trying to force their insane Endros doctrine on everyone else. They insist on a return to traditional values, but they mean a world at war where only the wealthiest people thrive—where women are property who should only ever aspire toward being wives and mothers. They see the common folk being lifted out of poverty and offered the same opportunities as a threat instead of a good thing. It’s unbelievable how delusional they are and how quickly they have been able to spread panic instead of seeing reason.”

“This is part of ruling, Alex,” Teddy said. “Politics is more than just doing what’s best. It’s about getting people to buy in to what you’re doing. People hate change and, while I loathe their methods and their messaging, the Sons of Endros have done a spectacular job of reinforcing the idea that they shouldn’t have to change at all.”

“At least you get to rule over the crazies,” she said, taking a long gulp of whiskey.

“You think I want to be king, Alex?” The words would not stop coming. He’d had too much to drink and that combined with Grace’s rejection had left him feeling there was nothing to lose and no reason to perform anymore. “You think this is fun for me? To always be an impeccable version of myself? To not ever have a chance to be more than just what is expected of me? It’s so easy for you to judge, but you are the youngest and a woman. The expectations for you are just not the same at all. You wouldn’t be so keen to rule if you understood the personal costs.”

For a moment, his sister appraised him with quiet shock. Fuck, he was drunk. He had not been drunk in public. Ever.

Alexandra stood. “Well, Your Grace , I suppose I’ll never get the chance to understand. I’ll leave you to your pity party.”

She disappeared into the crowd without another word.

Teddy sat at the table for several moments, barely even registering the loud music and dancing around him, and then stood with a start, eager to get back to the castle and away from the crowd. He took a step away from the table and the world tilted. He caught his hand on the booth beside him until it righted. This was bad. He was very drunk.

He tossed some coins onto the table and pulled on his cloak, tugging the hood up to shadow his face. It took every bit of concentration to cross the room and dodge all the dancing couples and barmaids without falling. Finally, he reached the door and pressed into the cool night air. The worst was over, and he’d be back at the castle and away from the public in no time.