Page 13 of A Legacy of Stars (The Lost God Legacies)

13

STELLA

T he healer’s suite was sweltering in the summer heat. All the windows had been thrown open for airflow, but the humidity of Olney summers was inescapable.

Once it was clear that Stella’s wounds, though stable, were more substantial than some light healing could fix, she had been brought from the tournament recovery tent to the healer’s suite in the heart of Olney City to see the head healer.

According to the frazzled young woman who had dropped her off in the room, three of the sixteen competitors had died in the first challenge.

Stella felt numb to that reality. It felt both real and unbelievable and she hadn’t been able to get any more information from the healer before the woman ran off to tend to another ailing warrior. Teddy wasn’t one of the fallen, though. The healthy dose of anxiety pulsing in her chest made her confident of that.

The smaller wounds on Stella’s head and arms had been healed, but still throbbed. Though pain could be lessened and wounds healed, the ache of the injuries usually lingered for a day or two. Her ruined armor was in a pile in the corner. Her tattered shirt was soaked with blood still weeping from her wound and her skin was sticky with sweat and drying groundwater. It was a bad sign that the cut was so severe and her body so depleted from the fight that it hadn’t managed to heal at all on its own. She wanted to bathe desperately, but she’d settle for just a change of clothes at this point.

The healing assistant who had left to fetch her some fresh clothes had been gone long enough that Stella assumed she’d been forgotten.

She lifted the hem of her tattered shirt and glanced at her bloody side. The gory mess made her dizzy. She immediately yanked her shirt down and gripped the edge of the tabletop to steady herself.

The healing suite door flew open and Cecilia ran in. She stopped short, scanning Stella the way she had when she was a child with a scraped knee. Her mother’s face was wan, her bright blue eyes puffy. Cecilia blew out a breath and her eyes went glassy.

“We are so relieved you and Teddy are safe,” her mother rasped.

“Did he even struggle?” Stella couldn’t stop the question.

It wasn’t as if she’d wanted him to fail, but he’d been a distraction when she needed focus and wanted it to have been as hard for him as it was for her. After his patronizing advice before the event, she had hoped that, at the very least, he might be marginally humbled.

Rainer appeared in the doorway. He gave her the same assessing look her mother had and nodded once. “You’re okay, Stell-bell.”

It was more statement than question and Stella could tell that he’d done it for Cecilia’s benefit as much as Stella’s.

“I’m fine. Don’t cry, Mama,” Stella said, gesturing to her body.

But her mother’s eyes continued to well and Stella knew it was the wrong thing to say.

Her mother reached to pull her into a hug.

Stella ducked her grasp and tried to ignore the hurt on Cecilia’s face. “You should wait until I’m not filthy and bloody.”

She wasn’t trying to be cruel, but if her mother hugged her, Stella would fall apart. She needed her strength now.

Rainer put an arm around Cecilia’s shoulders. “She’s right, sweetheart. We should let Lyra heal her up.”

“I should do it,” her mother insisted.

Rainer caught Stella’s eye. “I think the tournament requires their official healers work on all contestants, to avoid any accusations of cheating. Isn’t that right, Stella?”

Stella was so grateful for the way he always read her so well. She nodded vigorously but her mother didn’t look away from the blood crusted on her side.

“You said you just needed to look at her to know she’s okay, Cece,” Rainer murmured in her mother’s ear. “Let Lyra work on her and we’ll see Stella when she’s done.”

Her mother nodded and curled into Rainer’s side as he guided her out of the suite.

“Good job, Little Star. We’re proud of you. You fought smart, and that was an amazing shot. Not sure your mother could have made it.” He smirked as her mother smacked his arm.

“Absolutely could have. I know what you’re doing, but I will let it happen because I love you for it,” her mother said.

Her father grinned at Stella before they ducked out of the room and left her alone.

A moment later, the door opened and Aunt Lyra smiled and clapped her hands.

“There’s my little victor,” she said cheerily as if Stella had won the challenge instead of barely surviving it.

Lyra was not her aunt by blood, but she had delivered Stella into the world and had basically helped raise her. With the number of hours Cecilia spent working at the clinic, most of Stella’s early memories were of huddling in her mother’s office or spying on Lyra and her partner, Mika, as they spoke to patients in their gentle, caring way.

Lyra and Cecilia had that same way of setting anxious people at ease that Stella had always been in awe of. It was not a skill she possessed—other than that rare moment with Teddy before the announcement ceremony. Then, it had seemed quite simple, like she intuitively understood the call of their bond and responded in kind.

Tears burned in Stella’s eyes, but she forced them away.

The healer’s face softened. “Sweet girl, what have you gotten yourself into? I thought I was going to have to give your mother a sedative. ”

Stella pressed her fingers to her temples. “Please, no more lectures. I’ve had all the judgment I can take for one day. I just need my side healed so I can go home and drink wine and sleep.”

Lyra frowned and opened the cabinet beside the bed. “Well, I’m afraid I don’t have any wine, but Mika keeps some whiskey in here somewhere.” She rustled around in the cabinet for a moment before letting out a victorious whistle and holding up a bottle of golden-brown liquid.

She poured them both a glass and handed one to Stella.

“To one challenge down.”

Stella smiled and clicked her glass before knocking back the whiskey. It burned pleasantly in her chest as she swallowed. She held out her glass again, and Lyra chuckled and refilled it.

“Last one. I need your senses duller, but I want you awake to heal,” Lyra said.

An assistant healer hustled into the room with buckets of fresh water on her arms.

Lyra gestured for Stella to get on the table with one hand while waving the other healer out. “Let’s get you cleaned up.”

Stella’s side twinged as she climbed onto the table and lifted the hem of her shirt. She closed her eyes and listened as Lyra soaked rags and began to clean the wound.

“This is deep, and the skin is shredded. It’s clotted but you got very lucky.”

“I know,” Stella said quietly. She dreaded the inevitable words she knew would come next.

“I can fix most of it but?—”

“It will scar. I know.”

“I’m sorry,” Lyra said.

Stella wasn’t vain. Her mother had beautiful scars that were a living story of her past. But without a happily ever after, Stella couldn’t help feeling like she’d marked herself permanently for an outcome that was still unwritten.

The longer it took Arden to show up, the more her mind struggled to grasp for reasons he couldn’t .

Lyra cleaned the wound and meticulously healed it. The tingling warmth of her magic combined with the whiskey lulled Stella into a calm, half-asleep state.

She wasn’t sure how long she lay there as Lyra worked on her. It felt like just a moment, but when Lyra touched her arm and startled her from her daze, sweat had beaded on the healer’s brow and the sun streaming through the windows was more slanted.

Lyra held up a mirror, and it took Stella a moment to realize she was trying to show her the scar. The skin was not terribly puckered where the Octobear had scratched her. Faint lines drew out from the middle of the scar, making it look like an exploding star.

Lyra looked at it like it was beautiful, but Stella could only see the ugliness of the wound and the fear she’d felt when she received it. Where her skin had once been pristine and delicate, she was now marked forever by her failure.

A memory rose unbidden.

Arden sprawled on the bed in one of the Olney Castle guest suites. Sunlight cast Stella’s pale skin golden as he traced the freckles up her side with his pointer finger.

“I can tell you’re meant for me because these freckles spell my name,” he whispered.

“They do not.” A thrill ran through Stella at the thought.

“They do,” he said, a teasing tilt to his smile. “Now close your eyes and pay attention.”

He wrote his name on her side in cursive. When she blinked her eyes open, he hesitated, looking unsure of himself.

Then he continued to trace letters. It wasn’t until he got to “o” in “you” that she realized he was writing “I love you.”

“Stella?” Lyra’s voice brought her back to the present .

“Sorry. A memory,” she mumbled.

Stella stared at the star and her shredded freckles. Arden would never be able to write his name in them again.

“I had hoped I could fix it completely, but the ragged wounds are so difficult. I tried to at least make it something faint,” Lyra said. “Can I get you anything else?”

Stella smiled sheepishly. “If it’s okay, I think His Grace might be looking for me. I’d like to stay a bit longer so he can find me. Would you please make sure the other healers let him in to see me?”

“Of course.” Lyra smiled knowingly and ducked out of the room.

Stella stared at the ceiling, and the exhaustion of the day hit her hard.

She desperately wanted to see Arden. If she could just look at him—if he would just hug her—she’d feel better. He’d told her he would find her as soon as he could afterward. But he hadn’t come to the healing tent while she was there. Nearly an hour had passed since she’d left the arena. Stella and Fionn were not the last competitors, but there was only one duo left when they’d climbed out of their pit and left the field. He would have had to remain in the royal suite until the challenge was over, but he should have been here by now.

A moment later, the door flew open. But it was not Arden who stood backlit by the late afternoon sun shining in through the windows. It was Stella’s best friend.

“Kate—” The word came out as a rasp.

Kate was always full of humor. She had an ease that Stella had never mastered. But now she looked as wrecked as Stella felt. Her usually rosy cheeks were pale and her blue eyes were rimmed in red.

She yanked Stella into a hug and began to sob. “I thought you were going to die, you absolute menace. Why would you join this stupid contest?”

Kate’s family had thrown a big party the night the contestants were announced and Kate was expected to act as hostess, which was why she hadn’t had a chance to scold Stella yet. She probably hadn’t even known until the Games began that morning.

Stella pulled back, trying to master her emotions. Her fire magic pressed against her skin, anxious for release after she’d suppressed it the entire fight. That had always been her issue. The more hurt and angry she got, the more her magic wanted to be free. It was why she always had to be ready to expel it after training with her father. It was why Cecilia had bound her magic when she was little and dealt with her fits of rage at having it suppressed until she was old enough to learn to control it.

Stella stepped away from Kate and snapped her fingers. Fire roared above her palm. Kate didn’t even flinch. She’d been expecting it.

Stella began to pace. “I just didn’t see a better way to win Arden’s hand. They betrothed him to that princess and when Aunt Des didn’t bond us together, I didn’t have another option.”

“Of course you had another option!” Kate snapped. “Let him go. How can you be this blind? You think you know better than the actual goddess of love? I know he is charming. I have seen that magnetism up close. Stella, I am begging you, just this once—listen to me. You didn’t give me time to talk you out of this. You intentionally kept me in the dark.”

“Why would I do that?” Stella said, but she knew from the look on Kate’s face that she wasn’t buying the deflection.

Stella hadn’t told her because she didn’t want to hear what Kate would have to say about it.

Kate crossed her arms. “I have watched you pine after this prince and I’ve held my tongue.”

Stella scoffed. “Your tongue, but not the looks on your face.”

“Well, forgive me. It’s hard not to voice the fact that you’re settling .”

Stella looked away, letting her fire blaze higher. The flames sputtered and shrank. She wasn’t angry. She was just hurt.

“We have been friends since we were children, so I say this to you with love,” Kate said, smoothing her hand over her dress. “I know what it is to be blinded by affection. I have made my share of mistakes. But I have only ever risked my heart for affection. I have never risked my life. Arden is not worth your life. You have had a crush on him since we were children and he has never seen you for the gift that you are. Any man who would make you earn his affection instead of wanting to bask in your warmth is not worth risking your heart, let alone your life.”

Stella’s fire roared brighter and sweat beaded on her brow. She needed to calm down or she was going to light the ceiling on fire. “You wouldn’t understand because you haven’t felt it. It’s hard to explain. Arden just understands me.”

“Then where is he?” Kate’s cheeks blazed with an angry flush. “He’s not here to see you. You were almost mauled by a mythical beast and he can’t even risk the ire of his parents to come check on you? I lied to my family and punched a guard in the face to get into the healing suite.”

Stella laughed in shock, noticing the bloody knuckles on Kate’s right hand for the first time. “I didn’t know you knew how to throw a punch,” Stella said.

Kate shrugged a shoulder. “I don’t. I’m pretty sure I broke something.”

Stella looked away. “Arden will see me later. He’s trying to avoid an inter-kingdom conflict. He is the heir to the Olney throne. He can’t simply come and go as he pleases.”

Kate swallowed and licked her lips. “There’s nothing to be done now. You’re in this stupid contest and you can’t get out unless you’re humiliated, maimed, or dead. But I’m sure it will all be worth it. Gods. We’re twenty-three, Stella. I understand the desire to find your person, but you have your whole life ahead of you and you’re in such a rush that you’re literally risking your life for someone who isn’t even worth the risk of breaking a fingernail.”

The words stung. Stella had always been the friend with the temper, and while Kate also had her fury, it had never been directed at Stella. Stella’s magic blazed hotter in answer.

“Always with the temper,” Kate said, but the anger in her gaze faded to pity. “He invited Grace Farlan to a private dinner tomorrow night. Has he ever invited you to something like that?”

“You’re lying.” Stella’s magic snuffed out all at once .

Kate shook her head, looking too weary for her age. “Wish that I was, Stell.”

Envy twisted in Stella’s chest. Stella had never needed to worry about being beautiful enough. She had goddess-blessed beauty and, as Kate relentlessly reminded her, Rainer McKay’s perfect smile. But she was the first to admit that Grace Farlan had regal beauty. She was steady, temperate, tall, and curvy, with blonde hair that was always stylishly coiffed.

Grace looked like a queen. Stella looked like a wild forest witch.

Stella had been friends with Grace for a long time. Not the way she was with Kate, whom she saw daily, but she’d grown up looking forward to the McKays’ month-long visits to Argaria every spring and to the Farlan sisters’ month-long visits to Olney every summer. She’d seen the way that Grace turned heads, but she’d never felt envious of the attention until now.

“As your friend, I need to tell you the hard truth that no one else will,” Kate said softly.

“Get out,” Stella snapped.

Kate opened her mouth to speak, but instead turned away and closed the door behind her.

Stella’s fire guttered with the slam of the door. She grabbed her ruined armor and stormed home without looking back.

All Stella wanted was to come home and rest after the first trial, but she hadn’t had time for anything other than a quick bath and a meal before the next obstacle had appeared before her in the form of Grace Farlan in the McKay Estate sitting room.

It was too much to see perfect Grace when Stella had made such a mess of herself that day. When her body would forever bear the scar from this tournament.

Stella hovered in the sitting room doorway, wrapping the sash of her dress around her finger. She always felt underdressed around Grace. Now she was wearing a simple cotton day dress while Grace looked like she was ready for an elegant dinner party. Intricate embroidery ran along the bodice of her chiffon dress and shimmered as she moved.

“Grace?”

Grace looked away from the window and smiled tightly. “I know I’m probably the last person you want to see.”

Stella shook her head. “Of course not. I know it’s not your fault. I should probably be apologizing to you. You got caught in Aunt Desiree’s game when she was just trying to teach me a lesson.”

Grace had always been an echo of Aunt Sylvie in how she was always perfectly styled, with the most current dresses and neat, shiny hair, but more like Uncle Evan in the quiet, observant steadiness of her personality.

Grace folded her hands in her lap. “I’ve been thinking about possibly exploring things with Arden. I know we all said that we would accept the outcome of the ceremony at the temple. Truthfully, I didn’t think I’d get paired with Teddy, but I was certainly not expecting to be paired with someone else. Especially someone I’ve known for so long. It got me thinking maybe I’ve been missing something.”

Stella stared at her, dumbfounded. “You don’t want to be with Teddy? You went to the temple with him. I thought you were in love.”

“That’s not what I’m saying. Of course I love him. Teddy is my best friend, and he is a kind, thoughtful partner, but—” Grace licked her lips and took a steadying breath. “I’ve never been with anyone else. We have known each other for so long and I have no doubt that he’s a good man, but I find myself wondering?—”

Silence stretched out, and Grace shifted in the chair.

“Wondering what?” Stella prompted.

Grace finally met her eye. “I wonder if there’s more out there and I’m selling myself short by pairing up with the first man I’ve felt real affection for. My mother is always reminding us that she tried to create a world where women had more options and I’m going to—what? Marry the first man I’ve ever had feelings for?”

Anger burned in Stella’s stomach. So what if she was talking about stuffy Teddy? Grace had the very thing that Stella had always wanted, and she still thought she’d find something better.

Stella huffed a disbelieving laugh. “You think you’re selling yourself short with someone who is so devoted to you that he literally entered a deadly competition to earn the right to marry you?”

Grace winced. “I know how it sounds. I tried to talk him out of entering, but that’s what I’m saying: Since he’s come closer to taking over as king, Teddy doesn’t listen to me. The closer he gets to the throne, the more rigid he is. He’s decided what we are, and it feels like there’s no room for me to actually become someone else. I’m so young. What happens if I don’t match his vision for our future?”

Stella shook her head. “This is none of my business. It sounds like you should be talking to Teddy. Not me.”

Grace stood suddenly. “No, what I’m trying to say is that you can make him see.”

Stella stared at her. “That he doesn’t listen to you?”

Grace took one of Stella’s hands in hers. “No, you can make him see other possibilities. Surely you must feel what I’ve been feeling.” She pressed her other hand to her chest. “This magnetism. I’m drawn to Arden, or maybe just—I understand him better. What I’m saying is that I think I owe it to myself to see what this is—to see who I could be with a little space.”

“So, what are you asking for?” Stella asked.

“ Your permission. We’ve been friends for a long time. I know you care for Arden and I’ve been holding back from spending time with him, but my mother said it might be best to just ask you directly instead of avoiding him completely.” Grace smoothed her dress and met Stella’s gaze again. Her clear blue eyes were so pleading. “I feel selfish for even asking. Your friendship is important to me, and if you say so, I’ll walk away and forget about it and ignore this feeling in my chest for the few weeks until it disappears. I’ll decline his private dinner invitation and not speak to him until this passes. But if there is even a part of you that understands how much this whole thing has tilted my world and compelled me to take a second look at a possibility I hadn’t considered, I hope you’ll grant me your blessing. ”

Kate had been telling the truth after all. It was unlike her to lie, but she was so angry, and Arden had never invited Stella to a private dinner. He’d insisted that nothing in the castle ever stayed private long and he didn’t want her reputation ruined by gossiping servants.

The excuse that had once made sense felt so flimsy now. Kate’s implication had hurt, but the reality was worse.

Stella swallowed the lump in her throat. “If it’s fine with Teddy, it’s fine with me.”

Grace’s rigid posture relaxed slightly. “I know he’ll be okay with it. You should both try, too. They say if you love something, you must let it go and see if it returns to you. Then you’ll truly know it was meant to be.”

“If you think you need to lose someone to appreciate them, then you deserve to lose them forever,” Stella snapped.

Grace looked down. “I’m willing to risk it.” She turned to leave.

“Why?” Stella called after her. She wasn’t asking for Teddy’s sake so much as her own.

Grace turned back, looking warily from Stella to the garden outside the sitting-room window. Grace was a talented earth witch. Perhaps she felt Stella’s magic bursting to escape her body.

She met Stella’s gaze. “I’m willing to risk it because if I have to choose between losing him and losing myself, I will always choose myself.”

Stella watched her friend leave.

All epic love stories required adversity. Arden would come back to her and they would be stronger for it.