Page 51 of A Lab Rat’s Guide to Fated Love

Thirty Two

Through Your Hell or Mine

Nori

N ori woke up to a familiar aroma of sauteed mushrooms, garlic, and herbs, and her mouth instantly flooded with saliva. She lay staring blankly at the ceiling. And a few seconds later, the previous evening’s events came rushing to the front of her mind.

“Vir…” she whispered in a daze. “Fuck.”

Rolling out of bed, she made a quick trip to the bathroom before stepping outside to find him right where she’d thought he would be. In the kitchen, stirring the bubbling contents of a pan with a wooden spatula.

“Hey,” he said as she approached him, his eyes flitting briefly to her face and away.

“Hey,” she replied. “It can’t be time for dinner already.” Not that she was complaining. It smelled delicious; whatever it was he was making.

“Breakfast actually.” He shrugged without looking at her. “It’s nearly five in the morning. I was just about to wake you.”

“Five in the…” she trailed off. All she’d been doing was sleeping for the past twenty-four hours. And yet, she had a feeling if she let herself crawl back into bed, she could probably sleep for hours more and not even notice.

“The pasta’s almost done,” Vir said, his gaze focused a little too hard on the pot of cooked fusilli as he gently tipped it into the pan.

Nori bit her lip, watching him fold the pasta into the sauce with delicate movements she remembered all too well from the countless times he’d cooked for her before. Then she remembered something else. “All this time…” She frowned. “I kept thinking you were still not over your ex-girlfriend…”

Vir became awfully still, but he didn’t respond.

“The one who gave you that pebble.”

Silence.

“ I gave you that.”

Still no response.

“Why didn’t you say something?”

More silence.

“Vir?” Why wouldn’t he look at her?

“I didn’t want you to remember.” His voice was strained when he finally replied. “I didn’t—I didn’t want you to hate me again.”

She winced.

“I didn’t want you to leave,” he added in almost a whisper. “Not again.”

It had worked, then. Her farce. He’d actually believed all the lies she’d fed him. “I never hated you,” she said in a small voice. It was her turn to avoid his gaze when it lifted to meet hers. “I lied.”

“Why?”

“So you’d let me go.”

“Why?”

“You know why.”

“No. I don’t.”

She didn’t reply.

“Nori, why did you— ”

“I could see what it was doing to you!” she blurted out.

“Watching me fall apart over and over; feeling every venomous sting I felt as if it was yours. How could I keep doing that to you? How could I keep watching my mere proximity destroy you? I had to leave. You know it better than I do.” Her voice cracked.

Vir switched the stove off with a sigh before he quietly made his way around the island to stand in front of her.

“I’m sorry,” Nori whispered, staring at their toes facing each other. “I hate the way I did it. But if we were to go back in time, I’d do it again. I refuse to put you through that hell.”

“Nori—”

“Listen to me.” She looked up, biting her lip to keep the moisture pooled in her eyes from spilling. “I still stand by my decision to leave. It was the right thing to do back then. But I could’ve handled things better. I shouldn’t have lied. For that, I’m sorry.”

Vir glanced away from her, his brow creased. His jaw clenched and unclenched as he kept staring off to the side.

She’d never seen him this angry before. He seemed livid . She swallowed the lump in her throat, desperate to reach out to him. To make him look at her again. Say something. Anything. But she found herself welded to the spot, waiting, just waiting, while the air between them crackled.

“That is for me to decide,” he enunciated each word carefully as his gaze returned to her. “You didn’t want me to go through your hell with you, so your solution was to put me through a different— worse —hell?”

“I’m sorry. I should’ve found a better way to—”

“No. And stop apologizing.” His voice had dropped so low it was barely audible.

They glared at each other through the still crackling gap between them. It sweltered, invisible flames licking her skin, making it nearly impossible for her to keep her own body from flinging itself at him. To burrow into his chest and call it home.

Vir let out a deep exhale, and she had to immediately lock her arms behind her back .

“So?” he asked. He didn’t look angry anymore. Just… sad. Sad enough for his pained gaze to cleave right through her heart.

“So what?”

“You remember everything now… Are you going to leave again?”

She bit her lip. Then shook her head. “No,” she whispered. “I… It’s taken some work, but I’m a lot better now. And I—I want to be with you.” She glared down at her feet. “If you’ll have me back.”

“ If I’ll have you back?” Vir barked out a hollow, humorless laugh.

“ Nori …” he growled her name, cupping her face between his palms, forcing her to look at him.

His eyes, rounded, kitten-like, the way she remembered and adored, were glistening with unshed tears as they bore into hers.

“What are you going to do if things ever got bad again?”

She clamped her mouth shut, her chin quivering dangerously. She couldn’t give him the answer he wanted. “I’m fine now,” she replied instead. “It won’t get that bad again.”

“And if it ever did…” he spoke through clenched teeth. “Are you willing to stick with me and let me take care of you? Let me walk with you through hell if need be?”

“Vir, I—”

“It goes both ways, Nori,” he interrupted her. “If the hell is not yours, but all mine, and I need you more than you need me… would it be okay if I cling on to you, too? Selfishly, shamelessly, pathetically…”

Her fingers curved around his wrists. She stared at him for a long moment before letting out a shaky exhale.

“Yes,” she whispered. “Yes.” And as Nori spoke the words, a tightness she hadn’t even known lurked inside her chest slowly began to dissolve.

Warmth replaced each tiny fizzle, little by little, till warmth was all that was left.

A smile tugged at Vir’s lips, squeezing the unshed beads of moisture down his face.

“I love you,” Nori said.

His smile froze in place, before, a heartbeat later, it took over his features entirely. “This is the first time you’ve ever said it out loud. ”

“No.” She chuckled. “That can’t be right. I’m sure I’ve told you at least a hundred times already.”

Vir shook his head. “Even though there were instances where the sentiment was easy to read in your emotions before… quite intensely so… This is the first time you’ve actually spoken the words out loud.”

“What?” She laughed again. “Then I should rectify the error immediately. Don’t get sick of me for saying this, but I love you. I love you. I love—”

His mouth crashed into hers, and she was finally home.

“I love you. I missed you,” Vir rasped between kisses that told her exactly that. Kisses that were gentle and rough and soft and hungry all at once.

Her eyes fell closed while she savored the taste of him, her pulse quickening to match the thump thump thump thump of his heart under her palm. It was her favorite sound, his heartbeats.

Closer. Her fingers wove through his hair, pulling him to her.

As if he could hear her mind, his arm wrapped around her waist and pressed her to him, making their bodies smush together into two fiery hot blobs. Blobs that were kindling. Blobs that were melting.

Except for all the clothes.

Dumb fabric. Nori tugged at the hem of his shirt, and Vir drew back to let her peel it off him.

“I was right.” She grinned. “Abs.”

“Come here.” He laughed, kissing her again. But when she started pulling her own shirt off, he grabbed her wrists to make her stop. “Nori…”

She recognized the concern in his eyes. “Vir,” she said, “I’m fine. I am.”

He didn’t move. It was is if he didn’t believe her. Which, of course, she couldn’t really blame him for. The predicament was of her own making.

“As I mentioned before,” she explained. “It took some work. Well, a lot of work, but I’m better now. I’m not saying I won’t ever have a panic attack again, but I haven’t had one in years. And I know how to deal with it safely, if I ever do.”

Vir continued to stare at her while his expression remained unchanged.

“So, if you want to…” Heat flooded her cheeks. “Would you…” she mumbled the rest of the words inaudibly .

“Would I what?” He tucked a loose curl behind her ear and a corner of his mouth twitched as if he was trying not to laugh.

“Would you make love to me?” she blurted out, her face melting. His answering smile made the rest of her melt, too.

And when he kissed her again, it was so painstakingly soft and slow. Yet it left her burning more than any other kiss had before.

“Tell me what you like,” he rasped against her mouth, before moving to her ear and whispering, “Tell me everything you want,” making goosebumps erupt all over her skin.

“You. All of you.”

His hands brushed under the hem of her shirt and slowly dragged upwards against her belly, her ribs. They pulled the fabric up and over her head before returning to the underside of her bra.

Her breath hitched as his fingers dipped under the cup, and he pulled it down, just enough to let a hardened nipple peek through before rolling it between his thumb and forefinger. When he added a pinch with the slightest bit of pressure, it made her hiss through her teeth.

“Vir…”

“Do you want me to stop?”

“No. Please… more.”

Her bra joined their discarded shirts on the floor, and then his hands were roaming all over her, grazing, kneading, remembering. He pressed kisses into her neck, leaving fiery wet trails everywhere he went. He was drinking her in, and yet she was the one getting drunk.

“More?” he breathed, dipping lower along her clavicle.

“Yes.”

Vir obliged, and she gasped at the feel of his mouth on her breast, squirming when his tongue grazed against the nipple. He took his time before moving to the other one, making her shudder.