Page 38 of A Lab Rat’s Guide to Fated Love

Twenty Three

The Black SUV of Doom

Vir

N ori carried an odd sense of resignation with her all morning and through their three-hour flight from Pondicherry to Delhi.

Vir was desperate to hear her voice. But she refused to speak to him. Or even look in his direction. Any attempts to get her to talk were met with a polite nod or a simple shake of her head. Nothing more and nothing less.

And when she did finally speak—not to Vir, but with the cab driver taking them through the university campus—the flat monotone of her sentences left a certain restlessness in the pit of his stomach.

Soon, they were at the research center, passing by groups of unsuspecting students as they made their way through the faculty building.

“Vir, a word please,” Nori said, stopping abruptly in front of a familiar-looking door at the end of the corridor. Her blank expression didn’t match the chaos brewing inside her in the slightest. “In here. ”

The restlessness in Vir’s stomach grew worse as he followed her inside. It was the laundry room they’d passed through while sneaking out of the building nearly half a year ago.

Nori shut the door before glancing around the room to make sure they didn’t have company. Her gaze lingered briefly on a lone dryer in the corner and some remote part in Vir’s mind recalled stealing sweatshirts from it ages ago.

“I’m heading back to Calgary once I wrap up here,” Nori said in the same flat monotone she’d used in the cab. “I’d prefer we keep any future correspondence regarding your treatment through the research center only.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, delete my number, Vir. We don’t need to stay in touch after this.”

“What? If this is about last night, I know I fucked up. I’m sorry. It will never happen again.”

“Don’t. We both know whose fault it really was. There’s no point talking—”

“No. There is. I’ll do better, I promi—”

“For fuck’s sake, Vir. It’s over!” Nori cut him off. “The experiment is over. We’re over. I have my results, and you have your life. We go our separate ways now.”

“Don’t say that.” Vir took a step towards her. “I know what you’re doing, Nori.”

“Of course, you do.” She crossed her arms against her chest, her gaze icy.

“Yes,” he replied. “If this is another one of your ways to push me away for my sake or something of the sort, please don’t.”

“Please.” Nori rolled her eyes dramatically. “You think you’re that important to me?”

“Well, yes, evidently.”

“You’re wrong.”

“Fine.” It was his turn to cross his arms. “But you are that important to me. So, please drop the act. I told you I’m not going anywhere.”

“Well, I am.” Nori shrugged. “I just thought I’d be civil and let you know before I do. We’re done here. Delete my number.” With that, she turned on her heels and started walking away .

“No.” Vir grabbed her arm before she could reach the door and pulled her to him.

With her back flush against his chest, he pressed his lips to her temple.

“You don’t have to do this,” he said, sensing the anguish behind her mask.

Her determination faltered and hot tears splashed onto his arms. “I’m sorry about last night. I’ll do better, I promise. I love y—”

“Shut up!”

“No.”

“Vir…”

“Talk to me. Or cuss me out. But don’t do this, please.”

For a brief moment, he thought she’d turn around and hug him back. And tell him she loved him, too. And that she wasn’t leaving. That it was all a dumb joke.

“LET ME GO!” she yelled instead and began thrashing in his arms till he released her. “I hate you!” She scurried away from him, tears streaming down her face. “Don’t ever touch me again! Or even look at me with those eyes. I fucking hate you, Vir. I wish I’d never met you.”

“Nori, I’m sorry…”

“Sorry won’t fix what you did!” Vehement disgust seeped out of every word she spoke. Disgust and pure, unfiltered hate.

He was wrong. She wasn’t just pushing him away. She really, truly despised him.

Vir opened his mouth to apologize again, but nothing came out.

With one last hate-filled look in his direction, Nori turned and marched out of the room.

Nori

N ori sat in the tiny bedroom of her university allotted apartment with her arms around her knees, staring blankly out of the window.

Everything about the busy evening bustle of the street below—full of people, life, and laughter—stood in stark contrast to the solid wall of emptiness around her. It threatened to choke her with each passing second. It just never did. She kept drowning endlessly. And yet she continued to breathe.

The only thing that matched Nori’s insides were the raging dark clouds in the distance, a precursor to another horrible evening coming to haunt her. She hated it. She hated how everything reminded her of him, especially the rain.

A week had passed since her last conversation with Vir.

Seven full days had gone by, since she’d plunged a metaphorical knife through his heart, repeatedly , till he’d finally let her go. And she’d been the cruelest, coldest bitch she could’ve been while she’d done it.

The look on his face when she’d told him she hated him… it was going to stay with her for as long as she lived. As it should.

The disgust she’d felt towards herself while spewing all that venom… she was sure Vir had sensed it and assumed it was directed at him. And she’d let him believe that.

Nori squeezed her eyes shut, wishing she could take her brain out and wipe off all memories of him before putting it back, Vir-free. Just so she could exist without a permanent lump in her throat making her life hell.

Not all memories. Just the last few. No, not even those.

Memories were all she had left of him. She refused to give those up. Even the painful ones.

She glanced away from the window, and her gaze fell on her laptop. Thumbnails of pictures taken at the conference a few days ago covered the screen. Amongst a sea of celebratory, happy faces, Nori’s own impassive one stared back at her from every little rectangle.

A lot had happened over the course of the past week. Tanya had welcomed her back with enthusiasm, while Hina and Amit were nowhere to be seen. Nori later found out they’d taken voluntary transfers to a teaching hospital in the south.

Vir’s test results came out all good, and he was discharged soon after. He was still supposed to get monthly check-ups for a while, but as per the reports, he was in perfect health.

Nori had refused to see him the entire time. She didn’t have it in her to repeat the whole laundry room act again. She also hadn’t allowed herself to cry all week, knowing she wouldn’t be able to stop once she started. There was going to be enough time for that later.

Her laptop chimed with a notification and she glanced at the screen again to find her therapist’s reply to the email she’d sent her a few days ago. She skimmed through it quickly before moving on to the attachments.

As she clicked on the one labeled EMDR , the bell rang.

Nori flipped her laptop shut before dragging her feet across the hall to look through the peephole. She wasn’t expecting anyone.

Ryan’s comically distorted form waved at her from the other side, and she let out a quiet groan.

They hadn’t spoken in months. Not since their last fight back at the cottage.

She didn’t have the energy to resolve things with him now.

Because their resolutions always meant more fighting till one or both of them ended up in tears, at which point they’d make up and promise to never fight again. And rinse and repeat.

Nori turned to check her reflection on the television screen, trying to rearrange her features into looking somewhat presentable, and not like she was on her way to audition for the role of a zombie extra in some Canadian art film.

The bell rang again, and she gave up with a sigh.

“Hey, Nor,” Ryan said as she let him in. “I heard you were back.”

“A week ago.” She followed him to the couch and took a seat at the opposite end. “I’m leaving tomorrow.”

“Yeah… heard that, too,” Ryan mumbled sheepishly, looking everywhere but at her. “Nice apartment, by the way.”

“Isn’t it similar to yours?”

“The curtains are different.” Awkward silence. “It’s pouring outside. You’d think the weather department would give some warning, but nah.”

Curtains? The weather?

“Spit it out, Ryan.” She’d rather have the fight. “Just call me an asshole, and stop with the ridiculous small talk already.”

“No, it’s me! I’m the asshole,” he blurted, glancing towards her before quickly looking away. “I’m sorry. ”

An apology without her having to wrangle it out of him? Maybe he’d hit his head on a pole on his way there.

“Okay…” she said, not in the mood to dole out jibes. “Don’t worry about it.”

“No, I messed up.” He looked at her again and didn’t glance away this time.

“I’ve been trying to gather the nerve to come see you for the past week and apologize, but—I’m sorry.

I really am. But the experiment still worked out in the end!

That’s all that matters, right?” He gave her a sheepish grin.

“The experiment? I thought you were talking about our argument.”

“Oh… you didn’t know.” Ryan bit his lip. “It was me who gave Hina your location.”

“You what?”

“It was wrong of me, I know. But I was so mad. And I was worried about you being all alone with that—with him . I thought if they dragged him back here, you wouldn’t… I’m sorry, Nor.”

“I trusted you,” Nori whispered after a pause.

“I know. Nor, I’m—”

“I TRUSTED YOU!” She didn’t know where all the rage suddenly came from.

But it poured out of her like crazy, sputtering lava, making her want to lash out at him in the most hurtful ways possible.

“When are you going to grow up? You risked someone’s life just because you were mad ? You fucking child!”

Nori wanted him to hurt. She wanted everyone to hurt as much as she was hurting. She wanted to physically reach out and crumple their happy faces so they matched her raw, festering insides.