Page 26 of A Lab Rat’s Guide to Fated Love

Fourteen

A Kiss and a Coffin

Nori

N ori swore at her wide-eyed reflection in the mirror, her fingers tracing the strange pool of color in her lips.

Fuck. One more time, because what the fuck was that?

Sure, she should’ve stepped away, instead of giving in to temptation and slamming her whole face into Vir’s. Still, a kiss was supposed to be a kiss. Just a kiss.

Not that . It wasn’t supposed to feel like that .

It wasn’t supposed to light her blood on fire like some crazy drug, making her forget where they were or even her own damn name.

It sure as hell wasn’t supposed to make her forget all the reasons why she wasn’t supposed to be kissing him in the first place.

How was she going to face him now?

Nori stalled for time for as long as she could, before finally leaving the bathroom to find Vir eating a banana by the kitchen island. A small plate with a neat cluster of guava slices sat on the counter in front of him—with the seeds removed.

The darn fruit again.

She pulled out a stool from under the counter and took a seat. She had no clue how she was going to deal with the jumbled mess of her own feelings, but she knew for a fact that Vir’s infatuation wasn’t going to last. Not if he knew.

“Um,” she began. “I shouldn’t have kissed you. That was highly inappropriate of me.”

Her gaze lowered to the slab of black granite in front of her. The scattering of golden-brown chips in it strangely reminded her of the late afternoon sun reflected in Vir’s eyes.

She redirected her focus from the dumb counter to her tightly clenched fists in her lap.

“I didn’t want to lead you on. I’m sorry,” she continued, when he didn’t answer. “It’s just infatuation, anyway. It’ll pass. Trust me, it’s better this way.” You’re better off without me.

A lump rose in her throat, growing bigger and more painful, the harder she tried to keep herself composed. If she were to be honest, really, truly honest, she didn’t want to say any of those things to him.

She wanted to do the exact opposite and ask him to hold on to her. She wanted him to tell her, over and over and over, till she started believing it, too. That she wasn’t a damaged piece of trash. That she wasn’t so broken, she was unlovable by anyone except her cat.

Glass scraped over granite as Vir slid the plate of guava slices towards her.

“Eat, please.”

Her eyes lifted, and the sight of the fruit made her chin quiver. She bit off a slice, chewed, swallowed, then sat motionless, glowering down at nothing as moisture blurred her vision.

Vir sighed. “We need to talk, but after you’re done eating.” When she didn’t move, he added, “I’d finish the rest, but I’m allergic to guava.”

“What?” She looked up in alarm. “Why didn’t you say anything before? You keep cutting these all the time! ”

“It’s fine.” He shrugged. “I can cut them. Just not supposed to eat any. And you like them, so… Eat, please.”

She wanted to launch herself off the stool and run far away, so she wouldn’t be able to cling on to him as if her life depended on it. Because it didn’t. It shouldn’t. She needed to get a grip on herself and stop being ridiculous.

She kept popping guava slices into her mouth, one after the other, till her plate was empty. Vir cleared it away before circling around the counter to pull out his own stool and take a seat beside her.

“Nori…” he said, sounding so obnoxiously calm, it almost made Nori balk.

She fixed her gaze down on her hands again, her fingers twisting into mini-pretzels in her lap. If she let herself look at him now, she’d turn into a blubbering mess, and she couldn’t have that.

Being perceived with her vulnerabilities in full display wasn’t her strongest suit. Or even her weakest suit. It wasn’t remotely her suit at all.

Vir

Y ou didn’t lead me on.” Vir carefully chose his next words. “It might sound insane and that’s partially why I haven’t told you this before, but I—”

He’d never believed in things like love at first sight. How could you meet someone and be instantly in love? The idea itself was outrageous, even in a fictional setting.

But as the words tumbled out of his mouth now, he could see how blatantly obvious it was, in hindsight, that he hadn’t fallen for Nori slowly, over time, like a normal, sane person would have in his place. Though, if he were to be honest, he hadn’t fallen for her at first sight either.

Looking back, it was as if he’d always been in love with her, even before he’d seen her in person. As if some remote recess of his psyche had already known, and he’d been waiting for her, like it was simply a matter of time before they met.

And now that they had, it baffled him, how effortless loving her was. Like breathing on a healthy set of lungs.

Nori frowned, still glaring at her hands as they twisted and turned in her lap .

Vir took a deep inhale, gathering his thoughts into something coherent before he spoke again. “You haven’t led me on, Nori. You didn’t have to. I’ve been in—in love with you for a while now.” He kept out exactly how long a while.

It terrified him, laying his heart out, at the risk of her despising him even more. Would she regret ever meeting him, too, the way she regretted their kiss?

But there was no way he could’ve stayed silent when he could clearly feel the weight of her guilt. Guilt over something as absurd as her leading him on. Frustration, he understood. Even the regret. But guilt?

“I’m in love with you. I can’t quantify how much, but I can assure you it’s not just infatuation.

And I don’t think it’ll pass.” In his head, he made numerous elaborate declarations of love to her every day.

But to actually say the words out loud… it was simultaneously the hardest and the most ease-inducing thing he’d ever done.

Every word that spilled out of his mouth, confessing his truth, comforted something inside him he hadn’t even known existed.

Only, it made his voice crack, too.

“Earlier, I—” he managed, regardless. “I’d come to terms with how things were and whatever time I had left. But these past months with you have made me greedy for more.

“I’ve told you before that I didn’t expect you to reciprocate anything.

And I still don’t. But I had to tell you how I feel—mainly because I can’t watch you blame yourself any longer, for things that aren’t even true.

But also, because I’m incredibly selfish, and even though I know I shouldn’t, I’ve been dying to say this to you every day since… I…” I love you.

He sucked in a shaky breath before finishing what he had to say, “The guilt I’ve been sensing from you is so intense, it’s second-hand crushing me, Nori.

I can’t fathom what it must be doing to you.

So, please, let it go now and stop blaming yourself.

You didn’t do anything wrong. If anyone’s at fault, it’s me. ”

He swallowed against the fresh lump in his throat, waiting for her to say something. Anything. A few heartbeats passed in silence. Then a few more. He finally glanced up to find Nori sitting exactly like before, still refusing to look at him.

And then he noticed the tears falling on her tightly curled fists .

“No. No. No.” He jumped to his feet. She was supposed to get pissed, maybe even threaten him with a taekwondo move or something. Not cry . He smoothed a thumb against her cheek. “Nori—I didn’t mean to—I’m sorry. Please. Forget everything I said. I wasn’t serious.”

“Shut up.” Nori sniffled loudly before hopping down from her stool. She wiped her face on the back of her t-shirt sleeve. Then stood glaring at him with her chocolate eyes rimmed red.

What have I done.. . His heart sank. She was finally going to push him away for good.

“You can’t say all that,” she said between hiccups, her eyes boring into his, “and then tell me you weren’t serious.”

“I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’m sorry.”

“Stop saying you’re sorry.”

“Okay.”

“So, which is it?”

“Which is what?”

“Everything you just said. Were you serious?”

“I was,” he replied quietly. The damage was already done. “I am.”

Nori nodded, her chin quivering. “I—” She hiccupped again, then swore, turning her head to the side to roughly wipe her face on her sleeve again.

“Nori, I’m—”

“Can I kiss you?”

“What?” He seemed to have heard “fuck off” wrong.

“Can I kiss you?” she asked again, glowering at him.

Vir almost barked a laugh. Was she really asking or threatening him? Or daring him to say no?

Neither . He blinked, bewildered at the revelation. She was expecting him to reject her.

The chaotic swirls of Nori’s emotions surged while she waited for him to reply. And without another word, Vir crushed his mouth to hers .

Nori

T he sweetness of Vir’s lips combined with the salt from her tears, and the fire from the beach reignited.

She knew he’d be better off without her. And that someday he was going to realize this on his own and leave—when he no longer needed her to keep him alive. But that day wasn’t today.

“For the record, you don’t have to ask me again,” Vir whispered against her mouth. Right before the tip of his tongue grazed the crease between her lips.

They parted to let him in, and she instinctively pulled him closer till their bodies were flush against each other.

When Vir began tracing a trail of slow, agonizing kisses along her jaw, her head tilted back with a hum.

For the briefest moment, the counter’s edge dug into her lower back, and then she was airborne.

In one swift motion, Vir picked her up by the waist and set her on the granite slab behind her.

With a surprised chuckle, she pulled his face back to hers to taste him again; and it was pure bliss. Their tongues danced together, diesel and fire, while her fingers tangled in his hair, never wanting to let go and never wanting to stop.

She couldn’t remember a single reason why she’d ever resisted this—resisted him .

Her breath caught as his palm ran along the length of her spine and her own hands developed a mind of their own.

It wasn’t long before they were roaming around under his shirt to feel every smooth surface and bump, every muscle and bone, and the scar marking his sternum.

His heart fluttered like a feisty hummingbird under her palm.

Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.

“Vir…” she hissed.

Vir’s grip on her tightened in response, and his kisses became gentler, yet somehow more urgent. As he pressed closer, something hard grazed the inside of her thigh.

And just like that, her chest became a coffin.

She wheezed without sound as invisible nail after nail hammered right into it, reminding her that was too late. That she was never going to breathe again.