Page 69 of A Kiss From Death (Oath of Vengeance #1)

I could die today.

The mantra has been a never ending cycle, running through my head from the moment my eyes opened this morning.

Another round of the Crucible is here, which means two of us will die today.

The harsh reality crashes into me like a tidal wave.

Will I be one of the lucky ones, surviving another day?

Or, will I succumb to the fate licking at the back of my heels for years now and finally retire to an eternity among the stars?

The thought of making it to the fifth and final round of the Crucible sends a jolt of electricity straight to my heart.

In past events, the fourth and fifth rounds have had significant sway in difficulty, depending on your public popularity ranking.

Seeing as I am not the most likable, I have no hope of any extra help this round.

Hade is on extra edge today for some reason. I haven’t seen him this worked up, and it’s making me curious. Does he know today’s events? Is he worried for me? Will he show his concern once we step out in front of the masses?

I took my time getting ready this morning, basking in Des’ company and praying it won’t be our last time, cherishing it wholly if it was. Only the stars know my fate, and I’m putting my trust in them.

Des was her usual chipper self this morning, rambling about making me look perfect for today, but I could see the slight dull behind her eyes that normally isn’t there, hinting at the worry within her.

My bubby friend lost her shine today, and I tried to not let it dampen the mood.

Still, seeing her worry over me both warmed my heart and chipped away at it all the same.

We are kindred souls, both with pasts, who, through it all, have come out the other side again and again.

I don’t wish to be another weight added to her back.

No, today, I will fight for my life. I will fight to keep the sparkle in Odessa’s eyes.

I will fight to keep the memory of Theo alive.

I will fight to prevent the darkness from overtaking Hade.

And I will fight for myself, in spite of fate and all that has stood in my way. I will fight for a better tomorrow.

Grief is like an ocean. It comes in waves, ebbs and flows, calm and content at times and all-consuming in others.

You just have to learn to weather the storm, and that is what I will be doing today: using it as the fire that licks my back until there is no other option but survival.

Grief may be debilitating, but today, I will be wielding it as my weapon.

A knock sounds on my door, pulling me from my thoughts. I rush over, throwing it open and expecting it to be Hade collecting me, but I’m pleasantly surprised to see big, rosy cheeks shining me the biggest smile as Winston comes into view.

“I’m here to whisk you away, little lady,” he beams down to me. I spot a tiny bit of dried orange juice on the side of his mouth, and I can’t help the laugh that bubbles up my throat. He notices my eyes on his mouth and bashfully reaches up, wiping away the evidence.

“Saving a little for seconds, I see.” I tease, shooting him a wink.

“Tastes even better the second time,” he jokes with a cheeky smirk, and I can’t help but smile at this big teddy bear of a man. “Are you ready?” he asks with a hint of worry he masks behind a big smile.

I nervously nibble my lip and nod in answer. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”

As I follow him out into the corridor, we easily fall into step next to each other. I hook my left arm though his elbow, habitually rubbing the dagger necklace hanging from my neck.

“No Hade today?”

Ever since Hade took back over for Winston, I have seen less and less of him.

I’m starting to think Hade has a bit of a controlling problem when it comes to me—not that I’m complaining, but it means I have seen less of Winston than I would like.

He has been a rock to lean on while here and has helped me more than he will ever know.

“Daddy Death was summoned to inform Aire of today’s events, but don’t you fret—he will be joining us later.” Winston says it so casually, I choke on my breath, caught off guard. He shoots me a concerned look as I clutch my chest, trying to collect myself.

“Did you…” I sputter, trying to hold in my impending laughter the best I can. “Did you just call Hade Daddy Death? ”

Winson looks at me out of the corner of his eye, sporting a slight smirk. “Is he not?”

I lose my small sliver of composure and howl with laughter, bending over at the waist. After collecting myself, I reply, “I suppose you’re right, though I would love to see you call him that to his face. ”

“Whose face?” A deep voice crawls up my spine just as I crash into a hard body.

Strong arms wrap around me before I go crashing to the ground.

I drag my eyes up, colliding with two swirling, opposite-colored saucers.

A blush creeps up my chest just from his nearness and the memories of his magic wrapped around my fingers in the library.

Shaking my head, I clear my thoughts and shoot a side glance at Winston in question.

Hade slips his hands into his pockets casually, staring between the two of us.

Silence carries on until it’s painfully awkward.

Being the troublemaker I am, I nudge my shoulder into Winston’s, making him stumble a bit until he lets out a loud sigh in defeat.

“Yours, sir,” Winson says in a professional tone, making me giggle under my breath.

Suck up.

Hade lets out a short grunt, looking at the end of his extra short fuse. “And what exactly are you saying to my face?”

Winston turns beet red, looking like he can’t decide if he’s embarrassed or about to piss his pants.

If I didn’t know Hade was a secret softy underneath all his hard exterior, I would be fearing for my friend right now, but I would never let Hade do anything to Winston.

I know he wouldn’t lay a finger on him anyways.

I keep my lips sealed, though, enjoying the sight of Winston flushed and squirming uncomfortably under Hade’s deadly stare.

Daddy Death, indeed.

“It’s nothing really, sir ,” he rushes out. “Just a silly little nickname we came up with.”

Did he just say we?

“Out with it,” Hade barks.

“Daddy Death!” I shout before losing all my composure again, slapping my hand over my mouth to muffle my laugh.

Winson freezes, looking like a mouse trapped by a predator.

Silent giggles rack my body, my chest shaking uncontrollably.

Shock flashes across Hade’s face for the briefest moment before he schools his features again, back to the mighty Cardinal.

Then, the strangest thing happens. The side of his lips betrays him, lifting ever so slightly as the smallest chuckle sneaks its way up his throat.

“ Daddy Death? ” Hade repeats in an amused tone. Leave it to Hade to be impressed—as if he needed another thing to fuel his overflowing ego. Winston gulps loudly before letting out a long breath, relaxing again.

“Well, if you two are done ogling me and my magic, I’m going to take this one off your hands.” He points to me, and my damn heart does a little somersault in my chest.

“It’s no bother,” Winston says with a smile. “I do not mind escorting her to the Bubble.”

“I wasn’t asking,” he states. “She’s going with me.”

“Hade,” I scold, narrowing my eyes. “You can be nice, you know.”

“This is my nice,” he shoots back.

Rolling my eyes, I pinch the bridge of my nose, letting out a dramatic sigh. I go to respond, but Winston beats me to it.

“She’s all yours, sir.” He turns to look at me, a slight sheen glazing his eyes. Pulling me into a tight hug, he whispers into my ear, “Good luck out there, little lady. I believe in you; you just have to believe in yourself. Give them hell so we can make some more happy pangs together.”

I squeeze him back, holding in the emotions threatening to rise to the surface. I step back from his embrace, and he leans down to plop a wet, citrus-smelling kiss on my forehead.

“I’ll be watching from the sidelines,” he says softly before spinning on his heels and disappearing down the long corridor. I spot the slightest round bulge in his pocket and let out a breathy laugh, realizing he has another orange stashed away for later.

“We need to talk!” Hade rushes, a slight nervous tick to his tone. Before I can respond, he grabs my wrist and pulls me into the nearest room so fast, I stumble over my feet. He slams the door behind us, pushing me against the wall as my eyes adjust to the dark closet.

“Does this conversation need to happen right this moment?” I hiss. “I kind of have somewhere to be, and I would rather not be late and piss off the Empress more than I already have.”

Hade presses forward, trapping my body between his and the wall at my back. I lift my chin defiantly, looking up at him with narrowed eyes. I attempt to ignore my racing heart and glare at him, waiting for whatever important thing he couldn’t wait any longer to tell me.

“Yes, this conversation is important, and yes, it’s happening right now . Whether you want it to or not is irrelevant to me,” he grits out before softening his eyes, looking slightly pained.

I try to stay angry at him, but it all melts away the second I see the emotions swirling in his entrancing eyes. I used to think his light eye looked haunting, but now, I recognize it for what it is.

Strength and resilience.

“Okay,” I say softly. “Speak.”

His chest rises with a deep breath, desperation taking over his face. He looks on the verge of dropping to his knees and begging me for something, but instead, grunts flow from under his breath.

“You need to fight harder than you ever have today. I cannot help you. Today is permanent,” he pleads, his voice strained. “I cannot save you from today’s events, Nyxi.”