Page 98 of A is for Aftercare

“You make it sound like he proposed to me.” I close my eyes and remember the moment. “Shocked. I know things are going great between us, but I wasn’t expecting him to ask me to move in with him.”

“Shocked good or bad?” Blake presses.

"Good. I was so happy and giddy with excitement."

“But…?”

I sigh. “Then all the practicalities crashed down on me, and I ended up terrified.”

“That’s because you’re an overthinker,” Blake says. “Sometimes you’ve just got to go with your heart.”

“Not everyone has that luxury,” Corey says. “Some of us have responsibilities.”

Seemingly ignoring Corey, Blake stares at me intently. “Seriously, Archie, what’s your heart telling you to do?”

My mouth quivers as I try to push all the thoughts in my head aside and concentrate on what my heart wants. “To move in with him,” I say eventually. “But what about you two and Lexi?”

“What about us?”

“We can’t afford the rent without Archie,” Corey says. “We’d have to find somewhere cheaper to live. And it would need to be close to Lexi’s school.”

“Oh.” Blake stares at his hands.

Corey bows his head and ruffles his hair. “We always knew we wouldn’t live together forever. Blake and I will figure something out. If you want to move in with Hamish, you should go for it.”

Bizarrely, having their permission makes things slot into place for me. Idowant to move in with Hamish despite my initial reservations. The thought makes me giddy. I force myself to stay grounded rather than float up to the clouds like I want to.

“I can help you look at your finances to see what you can afford together,” I say. “And I have savings. I’ll give you two or three months’ rent to give you time to find somewhere and give notice on this place.”

“You’re not going to take Blake’s advice, then? To find a new jobfirst?”

“I… Oh fuck, I don’t know.” I couldn’t float now if I wanted to. Why can’t I just follow my heart and say yes? Why does it have to be so complicated? I sigh. I know why. “Things are great now, but what if it all falls apart?”

“If everyone let that stop them, no one would ever live together,” Blake points out. “We don’t have a crystal ball. We can’t look into the future and know for sure that a relationship will work.”

I stand and cross to the window, pulling the closed curtain aside enough to look outside. The street is quiet. It’s still light, but there are streaks of orange and pink in the sky as the sun starts to set.

“I’d miss living with you two,” I say. “And Lexi.”

“We’ll only be a text, phone call, or visit away,” Blake says softly. “And you coped without us when we were all at uni.”

“I was living with Mum and Dad,” I remind him.

Blake shrugs. “If you love him and it feels right, you should go for it.”

“What do you think?” I ask Corey.

“I’ve already said you should move in with him,” Corey says. “As forwhen…only you can decide that.”

“But what would you do?”

He inhales slowly. “I’d get a new job first so I knew I could walk away if I needed to. I wouldn’t ever want to be completely reliant on anyone. I’d need my own financial security.”

I nod, taking his advice in.

“If that’s what you decide, we can be looking for somewhere else to live while you’re looking for a new job,” he says.

“We have to give a month’s notice,” I say.