Page 89 of A is for Aftercare

She opens both bottles and gets to work, the result just as messy as my and Blake's nails.

"Make-up next," she says, grabbing a bottle of foundation. "Who's first?"

Archie and I both point at each other, which makes us both laugh.

Lexi puts her hands on her hips. “You can’t both go first,” she scolds. She squeezes far too much foundation into her hand. “You can go first,” she says to me. “Then I can make you look pretty for Uncle Archie.”

Archie bats his eyelashes at me. "I want you to look pretty for me, S—" He clears his throat. "Hamish."

“That looks a bit dark for me,” I say, staring at the foundation. I remember Archie said most of the make-up was Blake’s, and of course he has a tan. “I’m going to end up looking like I’ve been Tango’d,” I say as Lexi starts rubbing the thick liquid onto my face.

“What?” Archie asks.

“You know, like the advert with the orange man? You know when you’ve been Tango’d?”

Archie shakes his head. “I’m sorry. You’ve lost me.”

I roll my eyes, for once feeling the age gap between Archie and me.

“You do look kind of orange,” Archie says, wincing.

Lexi’s palms are too. Not that she seems to care. She picks up some blue eyeshadow and scrapes it over my eyelid, which isn’t exactly a pleasant experience. Then she puts a cloud of blushers onto my cheeks before smearing bright red lipstick over my lips.

“Ta-da!” she says, handing me the mirror.

I look like a fucking clown.

“Oh my God! I’m sorry!”

I glance at the door to see Archie’s other brother, Corey, staring at me with a horrified expression on his face.

“Don’t you think he looks beautiful, Daddy?” Lexi asks.

Corey gapes at her.

“You look gorgeous,” Archie says, kissing my cheek. He grimaces, probably because he’s just tasted a mouthful of make-up.

“I look…”

"You can wash it off if you want?" Corey offers.

I do want to, but I won't. "It's fine. I think your wee lassie has done a great job. She's got a career as a beautician ahead of her."

“I do?” Lexi asks with wide eyes.

“Aye.”

“What’s a beau-ti-cian?”

Everyone laughs.

“How long until dinner?” Corey asks Blake.

“Long enough for Lexi to do Archie’s make-up,” he replies with a wink. “Or yours.”

“I’m not sure about that,” Corey says. “Why don’t I take over, and she can do yours?”

Blake laughs. “I’m happy to have my make-up done later.”