Page 96 of A is for Aftercare

“I meant every word,” I say. “I wouldn’t say it just to get you to say yes.” I pat my lap.

He comes and sits, which surprises me a little.

“I know it’s a big step,” I tell him. “I know it might feel like we’re moving a little fast, but I know how I feel here.” I take his hand and press it over my heart.

“I love you too, Sir.”

I cup his cheeks in my hands. “Take all the time you need to think about it. I’m not going to withdraw the question just because you’re not ready to give me an answer now.”

Archie smiles slightly. “That’s good to know. I’ve never been serious enough about anyone to consider moving in with them before,” he admits. “It’s a pretty scary step to take.”

“It is.”

“How often have you taken that step?” His eyes go wide. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for that to sound awful or—”

I kiss him to silence him. “It didn’t. It’s a fair question. Three times. Including right now.”

He nods. “And the other two times? They didn’t last?”

“Not forever, no.”

He rakes his teeth over his lip. “So how do you know we’ll last?”

“I don’t. I can hope, but I don’t know for sure. You can’t ever know for sure, Archie. All you can do is trust your heart and take a leap of faith.”

“That sounds like something out of a romance novel.”

“Aye, well, maybe I’ll use it in one of Lee’s books.”

Archie laughs. “I’m not sure it would work in an erotica novel.”

“Why not? Characters can fall in love while fucking, can’t they?”

“True.”

I stroke his cheek. “I mean it, Archie. Take all the time you need.”

He leans against me, his head on my shoulder again. I hug him tight, not sure what else to do. I’ll admit I’d expected him to grin, kiss me, and say yes immediately. Or at least, I’d hoped that would be his response.

“I don’t think I should stay tonight,” he says after we’ve held each other for several minutes.

I can’t breathe.

He looks up at me. “I need some space to think, and I need to talk to my brothers. I can’t make a decision that affects them without getting their input.”

“I understand.”

I’m disappointed that he’s not going to stay tonight and somewhat afraid that I’ve pushed too hard, too soon. Saying ‘I love you’ didn’t scare him off, but this just might.

He sits upright and kisses my cheek. “I’ll see you in the morning, okay?”

“Aye.”

“I love you, Sir.”

“I love you too.”

He smiles, stands, grabs his coat, and leaves. I don’t move as I listen to the sound of the front door opening and closing. I don’t need to open the gates for him. He knows the security codes to do it himself. He’ll be back tomorrow. I hope.