Page 48

“It is very good of Lady Catherine to be so concerned for our welfare, but you may assure her that my daughters are in no danger of being destitute,” Mrs. Bennet said with asperity.

“Mr. Bennet has lately been making our fortune. And now if you’ll excuse me, I have a notion of taking them out to buy some new dresses. ”

Actually wishing to prepare them for the worst, she went in search of her daughters, whom she found in the parlour, already reading their books.

Surveying them gravely, Mrs. Bennet cried, “I have come to warn you of a great danger.”

***

Elizabeth had thought her mother more woolly-minded in recent days, and now she wondered if this was a further departure from rationality.

Mrs. Bennet certainly seemed confused. Instead of delivering this warning, she declared, “I must make a confession.” If there were any danger, Elizabeth feared that it lay in these words.

But the confession was not immediately forthcoming.

Mrs. Bennet next said, “Mr. Collins is determined to take one of you as his wife, and I cannot get him to comprehend that you aren’t interested.

At least I don’t think you are, but I’m sure you wouldn’t be because he is an irritating man, very much full of himself and rather foolish, which isn’t what I think would suit any of you. ”

“Certainly not me,” Lydia said.

“Nor me,” Kitty said.

“I’m not interested,” Mary said. “And thank you for understanding that.”

“You are quite right. He won’t suit me,” Elizabeth said.

“I am sorry that he is to be disappointed,” Jane said. “But hopefully he will not take this too much to heart.”

“He shouldn’t,” Mrs. Bennet said. “A man who wants to choose a wife from among strangers cannot be thinking with his heart.”

This was all sounding very good, but Elizabeth was still waiting for that confession.

“Nor can he be sensible,” her mother added.

“Mr. Collins is definitely not a sensible man. He is convinced that none of you could possibly refuse him; therefore, any refusal could only be coquettishness. He has a dreadful notion of repeating his offer as many times as necessary until it is accepted. I tried to get him to understand, but the man does not listen. So in the end, I resorted to telling him that you are all on the verge of becoming engaged, which I know was very wrong of me, but I didn’t want him to be endlessly bothering you. ”

Jane looked greatly discomposed, but she kindly said, “You meant well.”

Lydia puffed out her chest. “I don’t mind if he thinks I’m about to be engaged. What a triumph it would be to catch a husband at fifteen.”

“No, it wouldn’t,” Mrs. Bennet said firmly. “It would be more of a travesty.”

“What if Mr. Collins starts talking about these supposed engagements in front of our friends?” Kitty asked. “You didn’t happen to mention any names, did you?”

“No, I didn’t.”

There was just a hint of hesitation in her mother’s voice, which made Elizabeth think that, while not giving actual names, she had managed to reveal some details, which might cause awkwardness.

“It wouldn’t even matter if I had named anyone,” Mrs. Bennet said. “He found my story too miraculous, which I think insulting. Admittedly I did make it all up, but it was rude of him to say that I am deluded.”

It was indeed, but Elizabeth was relieved to comprehend that Mr. Collins wasn’t going to be embarrassing them by speaking of engagements that did not actually exist.

“Anyway,” Mrs. Bennet continued, “the point is that he is still thinking of marrying one of you despite my efforts to dissuade him. I even told him that you have no useful skills, but he just said that you will be able to easily adapt.”

“So one of us is going to receive a proposal from him?” Lydia queried.

“I expect so. You should prepare yourself for the possibility. And for the agony of trying to explain that you really do mean to refuse him.”

The door opened at that moment, and six sets of eyes looked warily in that direction. But it was only Mr. Bennet.

His wife’s expression brightened. “I was forgetting that he will have to ask for consent,” she said. “You will refuse your consent, won’t you, Mr. Bennet?”

“Gladly, if that is what is required. But what shall I be denying?”

“Mr. Collins’s wish to marry one of your daughters.”

“Can they not say no for themselves?”

“They can, but he will not listen. I have already tried to tell him they won’t be interested, but he thinks himself a great catch, and them incapable of knowing their own minds.”

“I shall have something to say about that.”

“Excellent. He won’t be able to think that you are just being coquettish.”

“I hope not.”

“There you have it, girls. If Mr. Collins is determined to be difficult, just leave it for your father to deal with him.”

“I won’t let him find me in the first place,” Lydia said, snapping her book shut and leaping up. “I am off to spend the day in Meryton.”

“I’ll go with you,” Mary said. “I need a hair ribbon. Don’t expect me back soon. It may take some time to choose just the right colour.”

“I shall help you,” Kitty said. “And then we might visit our aunt afterwards.”

“I’d like to see her too,” Jane said.

“I need a few things from the shops,” Elizabeth said, putting her book aside.

“I shall be in my study,” Mr. Bennet said. “Send Mr. Collins in there if you feel the need to be rid of him, my dear.”

“You are too good to me.”

“Not as good as I ought to be.”

They were smiling fondly at each other. Elizabeth could not remember the last time she had seen such affection between her parents. Feeling very much extraneous to the situation, she hastened out of the room.