Page 44

Cooling her bare feet upon the stone path, Mrs. Bennet stared gloomily into the darkness. That evening had been nothing short of a disaster.

She had been feeling at her worst—light-headed, overheated, and confused.

Her heart had been fluttering, the pain in her head pounding, and her vision strangely shimmering.

Her sister, excited about having been included that evening, had been nattering on and driving her mad.

Her head had been so foggy that she hardly knew what was being said. Or what she said in return.

Until the moment it had dawned on her that she was blurting out all those stupid plans she had once made. Of course Miss Bingley heard it all. And then Mrs. Philips had made things even worse with her comment about arts and allurements. Mrs. Bennet had been furious with her for that.

But ultimately the fault was her own. She was the one who had spoken of arts and allurements in the first place. And even with a whirling head, she should have stopped to think what she was saying instead of babbling on. Especially with Miss Bingley having such a propensity for standing behind her.

How could she have been so stupid? After all her efforts to be more sensible.

Mr. Darcy must be appalled to learn what she had thought and planned. His friendliness toward her would be at an end now. And Mr. Bingley would not marry Jane. His sisters had not succeeded in influencing him, but she had just handed them a victory.

“Why must I be such an idiot?” she asked the night air. “Can I never learn?”

“What are you doing out here, my dear?”

Mrs. Bennet’s heart almost leapt out of her chest. “What are you doing, coming out to startle me like this?”

“I did not mean to,” Mr. Bennet said apologetically. “I was concerned when I couldn’t find you indoors, and then I saw you through the window, which puzzled me immensely.”

“I was exceedingly hot. I came outside to cool myself.”

“What is it that you cannot learn?”

“Not to say stupid things. I was trying so hard, but tonight I went and spoiled everything for Jane by saying something dreadful. Mr. Bingley has already forgiven me once for being excessively foolish, I do not think he will do so again.”

“I don’t know what you said, but Mr. Bingley has a very generous nature, and I believe he is too much in love with Jane to be unforgiving.”

“Not enough to want me as a mother-in-law. And Mr. Darcy will not want to be my friend any longer. Neither of them will want to have anything to do with our family anymore.”

“I am sure you cannot have said anything so dreadful as to drive them away. Now come inside, my dear, and see if you can get some rest.” Mr. Bennet offered her his arm.

“And in the morning I expect we shall see Mr. Darcy and Mr. Bingley as friendly as ever and eager to have a little chat with you before lavishing their attention upon your daughters.”

“I do not think so,” Mrs. Bennet said, but she accepted his assistance in returning indoors.

As she had expected, the morning did not bring Mr. Darcy and Mr. Bingley to Longbourn.

But there were a number of other visitors.

At first, Mrs. Bennet assumed that everyone had either heard her disgracing herself, or heard of it from someone else, and they were coming to see her in her shame.

She must be the object of much derision among her neighbours.

But she was soon finding some unexpected comfort in the normality of their manners. Lady Lucas did not cast a sympathetic look upon her, Mrs. Long did not fish for additional information, and Mrs. Wakefield did not look upon her with scorn.

Even Mrs. Peacock, who rarely called for any purpose other than gloating, only stopped by to insist that she had heard Mr. Madison say, at yesterday’s party, that her daughters were the three prettiest ladies in the room.

Her breath was wasted on that effort. Mrs. Bennet knew that he would never have said anything of the sort.

Mrs. Peacock had either made this up or misheard him.

That notion reminded her how hard it had been to hear anything.

The gathering had been another noisy one.

Recollecting the din which had assaulted her ears, Mrs. Bennet breathed a great sigh of relief.

It was unlikely that anyone else had heard.

Suddenly feeling quite charitable with Mrs. Peacock, Mrs. Bennet generously agreed that Miranda, Yolanda, and Amanda had been in fine looks and must have been much admired by many of the gentlemen.

She couldn’t quite bring herself to say all of them.

After Mrs. Peacock left, Mrs. Bennet picked up the opera glasses to seek whatever comfort might be found in viewing her feathered friends.

However, she found herself continually looking toward the lane instead, hoping against expectation that she would see Mr. Darcy and Mr. Bingley coming to visit.

Hoping that she hadn’t ruined everything for Jane after all.

And that Mr. Darcy wasn’t thinking the worst of her.

But the more she hoped, the more she thought it likely he was at that very moment thinking of her in disgust.