Page 6 of A Gaze So Longing (The Fall of Livenza #1)

“Don’t,” Leonardo offered. “I’m glad you’re being honest again.

” Biting down on his bottom lip, Favian considered whether he had ever been truly honest with the prince, but Leonardo continued before he could come to a conclusion.

“I don’t really know what I believe anymore.

” The prince pinched the bridge of his nose.

“I’m lost. I don’t understand why my father is behaving like this.

I was so excited to come back, to get away from all the fighting and the blood.

. .I didn’t even consider how much things might have changed here. That he might have changed.”

He leveled his gaze, then took a step closer to Favian. “He didn’t hurt you , did he?”

Favian’s cheeks were on fire. He felt the shadow of hands on his body—not Leonardo’s, this time, but King Amondo’s. Large, hands, manicured yet rough. Felt them on his back, on his throat, on his legs. Between them.

He pushed the memory away.

The king had already told Leonardo that they had increased the severity of their punishments. There was no use lying about the fact that His Majesty had caused Favian pain, but he would be damned if he revealed the entirety of that truth to a man he did not know if he could trust anymore.

Had he ever truly trusted Leonardo?

Eyes closed, Favian’s voice was shaky when he found it again. “His Majesty’s punishments have become more severe.”

Leonardo hesitantly raised a hand, but Favian flinched before it could brush against his skin. The prince’s mouth opened, then closed again.

“I wish I’d been there to protect you.”

A sharp intake of breath.

Me too.

“There is nothing Your Highness could have done.”

Did he believe that?

Did either of them?

The prince’s next words were merely a whisper. “I wouldn’t do that to you. I would never hurt you—any of you. You know that, right?”

Favian wanted so badly to affirm the sentiment. The Leonardo he had known all those years ago would never have laid a hand on a servant; he could barely crush a fly, had always refused to whip Azure.

But that was not the Leonardo who was standing before him now. They had changed, the both of them, and Favian was only just beginning to understand who Leonardo had grown into. Outside of his disgust with corporal punishment, the prince’s convictions were a mystery to him.

It had taken Favian too long to answer again, Leonardo’s voice shaking when he spoke. “Favian? Fuck .”

Nico’s knock sounded at the door, accompanied by a jovial “Coming in!”

Despite his flustered state, Leonardo did not hesitate. Squeezing himself into the space behind the door, back meeting the wardrobe Favian shared with his brother, the prince motioned for Favian to keep Nico from entering the room.

Just as the door swung open, Favian caught it, stopping it right before it would have squished the prince into the wardrobe.

Visibly irritated by his brother in the doorway, Nico raised an eyebrow. "What are you doing?"

“I need a little more time for myself tonight,” Favian lied.

Nico’s squint told him that his brother did not believe him for a second.

Lying around the majesties was one thing, but Nico knew him too well to fall for his dishonesty—yet he also knew that Favian would not lie to him without reason. “Please?”

“I don’t know what is going on here,” Nico swiftly replied. One finger held out, almost touching Favian’s nose, he scanned their little room, the two beds, the small table between them. His voice was overly dramatic when he continued, “But I will find out. Even if it won’t be today.”

With two fingers, Nico gestured toward his own eyes, then Favian’s, before taking a step back. “Do nothing I wouldn’t do.” To emphasize his words, Nico slapped the door, Favian’s grip on which tightened to avoid it pushing further against Leonardo’s body.

Nico’s eyes did not leave Favian’s until the door had closed.

Favian took a deep breath.

He had just lied to his brother for the prince. He hoped he had made the right call.

“Favian,” Leonardo said once more as he stepped closer again, something desperate in his voice.

“Favian, I would never—I will never hurt you. I promise. Please, you have to believe me. I will not demand anything from you; you will never hear me command you to do anything.” The prince held out his hands, as if he wanted Favian to take them.

He didn’t.

“I want you to feel comfortable around me again.”

Comfortable .

Had Favian ever been comfortable around the prince?

He understood the sentiment. Leonardo wanted them to pick up where they had left off, or at least where they had been before the night in the attic. Favian welcomed the prince’s attempt, even if he could not reciprocate the enthusiasm, much less the optimism.

At the end of the day, Leonardo was still his father’s son.

“I appreciate Your Highness’ concern,” Favian replied very carefully, eyes fixated on the outstretched hands in front of him. “I do not think His Majesty will do the same. His—”

“Then I will never command you when we are alone,” Leonardo interrupted, throwing up his hands, “and do whatever he expects from us to make sure he doesn’t suspect my divergence. How does that sound?”

Favian was chewing on the inside of his cheek, contemplating still. “If this is Your Highness’ wish.”

He felt the frustration radiating off Leonardo. “Yes, it is.” The prince reached for the doorknob but wavered. He wasn’t looking at Favian as he said, “I would like you to tell me if he hits you again.”

If .

Another version of Favian would have laughed, yet this one nodded. He was tired of this conversation, of having to scrutinize every thought, contemplate every word before speaking. “Yes, Your Highness.”

Leonardo made as if to leave, but then he hesitated again, as if he had just remembered something. “I haven’t seen any of my father’s advisors today. Do you know when he meets with them?”

He truly was clueless.

“Your Highness, the council has not regularly convened in quite some time.”

“Oh.” A pause. “Who does he ask for advice then?”

It was odd, being the party with more knowledge of His Majesty’s affairs. Explaining to the prince the system in which he held power.

“I believe the advisors are called upon only in matters regarding Livenza’s relations with other kingdoms,” Favian explained less confidently than he would have liked. Politics had never been his strong suit. “I believe all other decisions are be made by Their Majesties alone.”

The prince’s brows furrowed. He seemed to contemplate this for a moment before he said, “Thank you,” gave Favian a smile he did not reciprocate, and left his chamber.

Only when the door opened and closed for a second time did Favian unfreeze. He had no idea how much time had passed.

Nico was looking him up and down, expression unreadable for once.

“What was that about?

The tone was so unlike Nico, he must have identified the whirlwind of sensations on Favian’s face.

“Please don’t make me talk about it,” he whispered.

Without further comment, Nico stepped close to him and—always prepared to avert physical contact—Favian took a step away from his brother. But Nico was reaching for the bed, pulled away the covers, and handed Favian his sleep attire. He then picked up the jug on the floor and went to refill it.

Shame filled Favian’s heart. He was supposed to care for his little brother, not the other way round.

He was too exhausted to protest, however, and Nico didn’t seem to mind.

When he was eventually tucked into bed, chemise clinging to his sweaty body, Favian worried he’d lie awake for hours, but sleep came faster than he thought.

He dreamed of nails, of fingers, of hands. Large and manicured to perfection, adorned by sapphire rings. They were touching, grabbing, fondling. No matter how hard he tried, he could not get away.