Page 12 of A Gaze So Longing (The Fall of Livenza #1)

Nico returned with a red mark on his cheek.

Favian shot up, threw away the blanket, and raced to his little brother, but Nico waved him off, pressing a wet towel to the wound on his face.

“He’s back to normal,” he said coolly.

Favian tried to reach for Nico, but his brother caught his hand mid-air, sending shivers down Favian’s spine. Nico’s gaze searched his.

“It’s alright, Favian. It really is. I knew the risk I was taking.” His fingers closed around Favian’s. “I don’t need you to feel bad for me, and I really don’t need you to feel bad for yourself. But I do need you to talk to me. What happened earlier?”

Attempting to remove his hand from Nico’s grip, Favian shifted away from his brother. Nico followed his movements, positioning himself in front of Favian once again.

“Let go, please,” Favian said quietly.

Nico did, but he remained close to Favian. “Please talk to me. I know it’s hard for you, but I—I haven’t seen you like that since the day Leonardo left, and it scared me.”

For a second, Favian genuinely considered telling Nico. The idea of finally sharing what had happened to him was like the first glimpse of the sun through rainy clouds, the smell of a hearty meal after a long day of work.

But then his brother’s words truly registered, settled inside him: not only had he worried Nico, he had scared him.

He would not put more on his little brother. This was his burden to bear.

“I was lost in memories,” was what he said. He knew he could not lie to Nico, so a half-truth had to do.

Way too serious for the absurdity of the question, Nico asked, “What memories make my brother cry?”

Favian shook his head. “I can’t—”

He was shaking.

“Alright,” Nico conceded. “Alright.” He picked up the cup of water that had remained untouched and held it out to Favian.

As he took a slow sip, Nico continued, repeating himself, “Favian, I know it’s hard for you to talk about your feelings, I get it.

I mean, I don’t really get it, but I try to.

But you know that it’s alright, don’t you?

You’re allowed to be sad or angry or whatever you were feeling. ”

He sighed.

“Sometimes I worry that you’re so caught up in taking care of me, you forget to take care of yourself.”

There was nothing Favian could say in response. Nico was right, of course, and they both knew it—but that didn’t make the implications of that reality any easier to process or accept.

“I think you need a change of pace,” Nico suggested. “When was the last time you visited Ma? She has been asking for you, you know. I think she misses you. Or, if you don’t want to see her, why don’t you go out and have a drink?”

“I want to see her. But I can’t leave you—”

Nico groaned. “Favian, stop it. Please, just for once, think of yourself!”

Favian could see that Nico was getting exhausted with him.

He surrendered and whispered, “I’ll try.” It was all he could do.

“Good.”

In the quiet that followed, a thought hit Favian. “How did His Highness react?” he asked. “When His Majesty hit you?”

“Oh. He wasn’t there. His Majesty said he had requested to take lunch in his chambers. Silias brought it to him. He said Leonardo looked so confused to see him. I think he was expecting you. ”

“That doesn’t make sense,” Favian replied. “He knows I serve His Majesty.”

Nico shrugged. “Who knows, maybe he’s been putting in a good word for you?”

Favian did not like that possibility at all.

Maybe it was time to be more honest with the prince, to accommodate some of his wishes. Perhaps that way, he could stop Leonardo from talking to his father about him.

“He asked me to take him to the tavern,” Favian admitted.

“Oh damn,” Nico said. “When are you going?”

The question almost made Favian laugh. “I originally didn’t want to take him, but. . .”

“But?”

“Maybe I should.”

Nico nodded vigorously. “You absolutely should! He will obviously need a disguise. . .Do you have any clean spares? Maybe I have some. . .If not, I could ask Rodrigo.”

This caught Favian’s attention. “Rodrigo, huh?”

The blush on Nico’s cheeks was answer enough. “He’s. . .nice.”

Favian decided not to press the issue today, not when Nico had already left his comfort zone to help him, had already made himself vulnerable enough for one day. Had received the back of a hand for it. “Please do ask him if he has any clothes to spare. He is closer to His Highness’ size than you.”

Nico gave him a nod, a smile creeping up the corner of his mouth. “So my brother has a date.”

“I do not—” Favian began to protest, but Nico hovered a finger over his mouth to shut him up.

“Let me have this.”

It had grown hotter over the day.

By midday, thirsty horses had already drained the trays, so Favian made his way to the well to get another round of water for the pasture.

Being out here was different from the barn, the abundance of fresh air a rarity in his work.

Looking into the forest and smelling the muted scent of flowers from the neighboring patches turned the pasture into a world that Favian could almost convince himself was no longer part of the palace grounds.

Azure looked equally as royal as her rider as she grazed calmly in a shadowed spot, hidden from the sun.

Passing her, Favian gave the mare’s black coat a light pat, thereby catching more of her attention than he had anticipated.

She nuzzled his shoulder, her wide face almost pushing the hat off his head.

The motion tickled, coaxing a chuckle out of him.

“I’ve missed that sound.”

He jumped at the voice, finding Leonardo on the other side of the fence, arms lazily slung over it. Sunlight danced on his face, yet where Favian was almost drenched, the prince’s forehead was devoid of sweat.

“Your Highness.”

Favian hadn’t expected to see Leonardo before dinner, especially with the arrival of the council earlier.

The prince rarely came to the stables in the afternoon, frequently either sitting in on meetings with his father or entertaining himself somewhere else.

It was unclear to Favian what other means of amusement Leonardo’s life contained or how the prince spent his time. Not that he cared.

He had planned to tell Leonardo of his intention to take him to The Moonlit Sunflower the next time they were alone, but he had not anticipated that this would be today.

“I think she likes you,” the prince said. It took Favian a second to gather that he was talking about Azure.

“Perhaps,” he quietly replied.

Leonardo cleared his throat. “I was on my way to the forest and thought I’d drop by to give her a treat.

” It was only then that Favian noticed the carrot in the prince’s hand, long and slender between equally elegant fingers.

“But now that you’ve caught her attention, maybe you should give it to her instead. ”

Favian wordlessly took the carrot from Leonardo’s outstretched hand, giving only a court nod and making sure to touch the prince as little as possible.

Azure’s strong teeth devoured the vegetable in seconds, then her tongue licked up the salty remnants of sweat from Favian’s palm, tickling his fingers this time.

When Favian sneaked a glance at the prince, a genuine dimpled smile was plastered across the freckled face, eyes fixed on his mare.

A light breeze sent the smell of the adjoining flower beds wafting over to the pasture.

Something about looking at Leonardo while the sweet scent of lilac whirled around them felt right .

It made Favian want to keep the prince here a little longer, to bask in the sensation, even if just for a little bit.

“What is Your Highness’ objective in the forest?” he inquired.

Leonardo blinked a few times as if processing the question.

“Oh, I wanted to refresh my knowledge before the council meeting tomorrow. Remember when we used to sneak around on the large clearing? There’s a bench there now—it’s a beautiful spot to read, and on a day like this, it’s also a welcome hiding spot from the sun. ”

Favian could not imagine that someone as radiant as the prince would want to hide from the sun.

The glow gave his skin an almost golden quality, his brown locks shining in the light.

His brightness was punctuated by the golden necklet laced around his ruffled collar and matching earrings dangling from his lobes.

Despite being shaved every day, the faintest hint of stubble had appeared on his chin.

As infrequently as Favian saw Leonardo later in the day, it was easy for him to forget that in the five years they had spent apart, the prince had not only changed in character but also in physique.

What had remained, though, was the sparkle in Leonardo’s eyes, the very same Favian remembered from when they were children.

“I hope Your Highness enjoys his trip,” Favian offered.

Leonardo thanked him, winked, and made to turn away.

Favian took a deep breath. “Your Highness.”

The prince looked at him then, really looked. “Yes?”

“I have been thinking about visiting The Moonlit Sunflower soon. If Your Highness is still interested, I might enjoy some company.”

Leonardo stared at him. Favian thought he could see the wheels turning in the prince’s head, processing what he had just said.

Parsing if he was to be believed.

“You mean it?”

Favian nodded, his eyes fixed on a tree in the distance so he could discern at least some of what was happening on Leonardo’s face.

“When?”

“If Your Highness is available, and I do not hear from anyone else that they intend to go, we can make the journey tomorrow night. An hour after the end of dinner.”

Now it was Leonardo’s turn to nod, vigorously expressing his excitement. “Yes, absolutely! I’m certain I will need something like that after the council meeting. I’ll think of something to tell my father, and I’m sure I can find appropriate clothes somewhere. . .”